Purposeful Faith

How Does God Respond When His People Want to Die?

Blog Post by Abby McDonald

Sometimes it’s easier to be a spectator. When there’s an event or tragedy making headlines and getting lots of attention in the media, that’s often what I am. I sit back and read other writers’ words. I nod and silently say, “Amen.”

But over the last weeks following the suicide of two well-known celebrities, I knew I needed to contribute more than hushed acknowledgement. I watched others speak up about their own experiences with depression and bravely tell their stories, and God stirred my soul.

I know what it’s like to be in that space where you dread waking up.

To look out the window and try to feel anything other than the slow nothingness engulfing you. After having my first child, there were days I couldn’t wait to crawl into bed and slip into the abyss of sleep.

Last week I read words from a courageous one who voiced a truth most of us don’t hear very often: Someone can love Jesus but still want to die. And I applaud her for it. These are the types of conversations more of us need to have.

Days after I read her story, its points still circled my mind and I found myself wondering, “Why do we so often want to remain silent about our own darkness?” The autopilot part of me knows the answer. People who love Jesus aren’t supposed to want to take their own lives, right? They’re supposed to have faith that can heal and a spirit that finds peace in his presence, right?

Yes, these things are possible. God is able. But they aren’t always the rule. And the thought in my mind days after I read another sojourner’s words was, “Even some prophets dealt with this darkness.”

Want to see for yourself? Elijah and Jonah, who were both servants of the Lord and heard directly from him, stated they wanted to die. (See 1 Kings 19 and Jonah 4)

These were men who not only thought about dying, but openly told God they wanted to.

These were men who God chose specifically to speak to and use. He trusted them and set them apart in generations filled with people who worshiped idols, bowed to Baals and turned to everything but him to find fulfillment.

They were not far from God, but vessels of his message. They transformed lives and brought hope. At the point they stated their anguish, they had seen God perform the miraculous. Fire from heaven at Elijah’s word. For Jonah, the nation of Ninevah transformed from vile acts of brutality to repentance.

And yet, they wanted to die.

Now, I’m not going to go into the details surrounding each man’s journey. But if we read their stories, we see one was afraid of a crazy king’s wife and the other was angry. Their desire to die stemmed from very different emotions.

What I want to talk about today isn’t their reasons, but God’s response. Because there are many who think God turns away from these types of feelings and cries of despair. And I’m here to tell you he doesn’t.

So how did God respond? Did he chastise them? Turn away and cast them into hell? Hide his face and let them wander in darkness?

Not even close. Here are three ways God responds when his followers want to die:

  1. He comes to them in their need and allows them to rest.

God does not turn away from his children. He doesn’t yell, “How dare you say such a thing!” or act as though he can’t believe one of his own followers is making such a bold statement. In Elijah’s distress, he sends an angel to him with food and water. He lets him sleep and prepare for the long journey ahead. Once he’s had time to regain his strength, he follows him to Mount Horeb. To Jonah he provides shade and eases his discomfort. And although he later takes the plant away to illustrate a point to Jonah, he doesn’t leave him.

  1. He gets to the heart of the matter.

God doesn’t shy away from what’s really going on in these men’s hearts. He asks questions. He sees the things they’re not saying or asking. To Elijah he asks, “What are you doing here?” (1 Kings 19:9) and to Jonah he asks, “Is it right for you to be angry?” (Jonah 4:4) God already knows the answer to these questions. He wants the men whose hearts he’s after to see what he sees.

  1. He listens.

God doesn’t interrupt these prophets or cut them off as they’re explaining how they’ve arrived at this place. Once again, he knows the answer. In Elijah’s case, he knows he mistakenly believes he’s the only follower left. But he still lets him speak. He lets him say these words he’s been holding onto as he traveled through the wilderness thinking there was no one left to serve God.

Sometimes the journey through the wilderness is what prepares us to receive the truth.

Friend, I don’t know where you are today. I don’t know if you’re fighting through darkness or if you’re standing firm in a place of victory today. But can I tell you God sees you, no matter what? He doesn’t turn away from those places you keep buried.

God doesn’t stand in disbelief at statements like the ones from Elijah and Jonah. He comes close. He reaches through the gap. When we hurt, he hurts.

Talk to him today. Even if you don’t think he hears, talk to him anyway. He’s is right there and is waiting for you to reach for him.

***IF YOU WANT TO DIE and do not know what to do: There is a way of escape. It is simple. Choose to let go of your life right now — in a spiritual way. No, this does NOT mean you kill yourself physically. It means you pray this prayer:

“God, I don’t know what to do. I admit to you I want to die. I am at the end of myself. I make mistakes, I sin, I do what is wrong. I hate aspects of myself. With this, I let go to you. I ask you, Jesus, to come into my heart and life as Savior and Deliverer. I admit that you are Lord. I allow you to have lordship in my life. Take over. I ask the Holy Spirit to come into my heart now. I, by receiving you, accept your forgiveness. I am now dead to sin and alive to Christ Jesus. I thank you that what my heart was really searching for — was you. I am a child of God now.  You will lead me in all things. You will help me. I come with new hope now. Thanks to you, Jesus.”

If you already know Jesus as Lord, consider this prayer:

“Father, please resurrect hope in my life. Please open my eyes to see you and to know your love. Please carry me in this hour where I don’t know where to go forward. Please preserve, keep and shepherd my life.  In Jesus’ name. Amen.”

A great resource for you is Fresh Hope for Mental Health.

***Subscribe for all Purposeful Faith blog posts by email – click here.

 

Abby McDonald is the mom of three, a wife and writer whose hope is show readers their identity is found in Christ alone, not the noise of the world. When she’s not chasing their two boys or cuddling their newest sweet girl, you can find her drinking copious amounts of coffee while writing about her adventures on her blog. Abby would love to connect with you on her blog and her growing Facebook community.

 

 

 

 

If you need to talk or you know somebody struggling, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or text with someone at the Crisis Text Line by texting HOME to 741741.


      

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  • Look I’ve had 52 years of a bad life and god doesn’t love all his children.
    It’s not about having money I’ll never be rich but I get by.
    Life can be a bad dream for some of us. I didn’t ask to be born I didn’t ask for this life
    I’m not looking to be saved. I would like not to be here.
    I’m just a ugly guy wishing he was dead. Gods joke me he could of made me into anything
    but this. We can’t change how we are built I look in the mirror and scream GOD WHY
    There is no reason for me to be here I wish I where dead and I pray endlessly for god to take me back,I don’t want this life in this body….

        • He does love you..Have you not tasted his love if not no need to talk about jesus in a bad way or bad things about jesus…Who do loves you?yes their are many who love but jesus loves more than them..

          • Actually Jesus died for our sins. He does love us. It’s not God or Jesus, it’s the world and He warned us about it. We have to understand that our lives are already written out and God does fight our battles. What led me here is depression and sadness and also feeling the same way as you guys but I never thought God didn’t love me, when Jesus died for us.

        • YES GOD DOES LOVE YOU !!!!!!! I am far from a perfect Christian, but I am Born Again. THANK YOU JESUS FOR SAVING ME !!!!!!! But I am definitely ready to go home even this night. Got to pray touch Randy’s heart you leaving God and then you bless him in JESUS holy mighty name amen ❤️

      • I must disagree with you, God says in his word that very few will enter the gates of Heaven. Even those who cry Lord Lord…. Jesus says he will not know us…. Not everyone will be forgiven of sin, only a selected few according to his word. My second observation is the fact that so many beg God and hear nothing in return, even over many years of searching. This brings me to believe most of us who believe are probably lying to ourselves when we say God loves us or God loves all. I am unsure as to why we will have been left behind and sent to hell.

        • After 12 years of marriage, I am not what my wife wants. At 58 years old, I will be alone. I still love her, if i didn’t, it would not make a difference if she left.
          I pray every night for God to kill me, I do not want to be alone. I looked forward to seeing her every night. She said i was too demanding because i wanted to eat dinner with her. I just feel that God wants to torture me, there is no reason for this. I cannot stop her from leaving, I cannot have a miracle, so i prefer death.

          • Life is not all about marriage.There are those who choose to be single to serve God.There is joy in knowing God..Married couples have stress more I think..liveing alone you have noone to critize,,have problems with.Do things when you want to.

          • My brother Im sorry. And life sometimes people are temporary just as they feelings are. Someone will come and see your life that will make all this pain go away. People can be so cold yet God always say if you talk to him he’ll make your crooked pass straight yet so many people suffer even if they talk to him go figure. On a reality note you can’t force somebody to stay because you will be helping them hurt you. Agape love my friend all the way from New York City

          • I lost my whole family I am alone and what to die everyday. I owe irs and didn’t realize it. My dead husband was more than partly responsible in spending my dads inheritance. I don’t know what I am going to do. God seems to take care of everyone but me.

          • That’s the best thing that could have happened to you now you focus on God and yourself hit the gym join a church be an usher serve the Lord and bro you might find a good Christian woman that will love you as she loves Christ

          • no God loves you, i understand what your going threw for it happen to me, Jesus is our first love , please understand this

          • Am 17 years of age i may not understand or know anything about love and marriage am also facing allot of problems in my teenage i fail all my exams i feel ask if the same thing is happening to me i also pray for god to take my life at times but it sounds as if u dont have faith in god but if something is meant for you it will stay am sorry if i offended you in anyway

          • I am sorry you are going through that ! We all have different views in life ! At least you have a wife and had the chance to be married !

        • Eric, God doesn’t want anyone to persih but all to come to repentance. Jesus said that we’ll have many troubles in this life, but that he will also give us his peace if we put our trust in him. The gate is narrow because Jesus is the only way (religion and works can’t save you) and not all who think they know God truly do. Remember the Pharisees? They thought they knew God, but didn’t. If you don’t have love you don’t know God, for God is love. Only God can change us. We can’t do that ourselves. Even our faith comes from him. All we have to do is to believe him for he is the truth. God knows what’s best for us because we don’t. It all may all look like chaos to us, but God is always in control. He will do the work in you, you can’t change yourself no matter how hard you try. He will guide you and give you peace if you seek him with all your heart. We shouldn’t rely on our own feelings or understanding, but believe God’s word. I have OCD so I know what I’m talking about. Peace and change only come from God, all you have to do is to agree with God and let him save you through his son Jesus Christ. Please look up the Naked Gospel or Relaxing with God by Andreq Farley, I can give a better understanding of the Gospel. God bless you.

        • My brother please hear my words. If you believe that Jesus is the Son of God, that he died for our sins, and was raised in three days by the Father, you are saved from the second death. I want to die and be free from sin myself. You are saved my brother and we are saved by our faith, not by our works. We need to endure until death and we receive the crown of life. May Yahweh bless you and strengthen you forever.

        • I hate to say it, but I agree. Even though I Love God, and I Love Jesus, who Died for Our Sins. I know and Believe in All Of This with all my Being. But I Also Know that God Does Not Favor Me or Love me. Because my life has been one thing after another. And I’ve never really had peace, happiness, security or known any good thing to last long enough that has actually brought me joy for any length of time before it has been Snatched Away from me. Yes, I know God Never promised a perfect life filled with Sweet Roses and Butterflies every day or that things would be Easy All The Time. But to have these good things to last only Mere Seconds and Far in Between and the hard, sad, upheaval and constant turmoil to go on Forever for SOME, is the way my life has always been. And the older I get, the Harder and Worse off Everything Gets. And now at 60 years of age in a few short months, when I can’t bounce back like I could when I was younger, and things being More Worse and Worsening Every Day for me, well, I just don’t understand it. I have PRAYED! I DO PRAY! I beg, I plead and I Praise!! But God does not hear me or my cries for Mercy. And I am a woman Alone! And he Sees this. But chooses to ignore me. I feel God has Turned from me. And I Know I will be left behind. I Know I Will Be sent to Hell, for my Life on Earth Is Hell! So why would He allow all my days on earth to be of suffering if he did not have nothing for me and intended me burn in hell after my miserable time here on earth is through??? He Wouldn’t. Not if he Loved me. Yes I’ve begged God to Take me away from this, they I wanted to Die because I have no joy or anything or reason to even want to live. My health has Declined as has my life’s living circumstances, and I will not go to the doctor . Why? To prolong this misery and suffering and Awful living circumstances I now am Living??? No thank you. I Decline. I tell God to take me, in order to Allow Someone else to Live Who Has A Good Happy Life and has Reason to Enjoy it. Because I do not and I haven’t been given any reasons to. But again, he does not answer my prayers. Because like I said, God does not Favor Me, I’m not being carried, those are only my footprints in the sand that I see. If God doesn’t love me, how can I love myself, or anyone else love me as far as that goes??? They Can’t. They Don’t. And neither do I. Because I’m Not Even Worth Loving or my every day life wouldn’t be Filled with hell and crap like it is. I lost my oldest son, in 1998 when he was only 17. He was murdered! Nothing Was Ever Done About It. Those that did it Still Walk Free!! I never One time turned from God or Blamed him. And I don’t even remember ever Asking him Why!! I’ve given and loved, been a care giver from my heart always, and put myself last always. Because our of nothing but the love from my heart. In return I’ve been badly used by Every Single body, stolen from time and time again. With no ending. Until now there is Absolutely Nothing Left for me to Live On, period. And now, I’m left Alone to live like This. And it dawned on me, about being repaid 10 fold for the goodness you do and give to others. I guess THIS is my 10 fold pay back for my goodness I did and gave to others, From my Heart. And while I was being continuously stolen from and as they all Called me Greedy! My own family. And me the Only woman left in our family. By a brother, a son, and my fiancee at the time. Now an Ex! Me, Greedy. No one Worked. I bared the entire load. Yes, I am angry and hurt. Also At Myself.
          For being gullible and stupid. Maybe that’s another reason God isn’t there for me. I Gave too much them. Helped them too much. Because I do not feel God’s love for me. I use to. I do ask why, but to nobody in particular. And I’m Very Very Tired. And I no longer have the strength or the heart to go on living. Not Anymore. I even failed at taking my own life.

          • I totally understand what you have said !!!
            I’m born again but suffer mentally and emotionally all the time !!!!!
            Praying to God does absolutely nothing !!!
            I don’t feel Him … I don’t hear from Him.
            Dispare, loneliness, severe depression ….
            This is not a life !!!!!
            Only death can stop this lifetime of pain !!!
            I Want Death PLEASE

          • I am so sorry for what you’ve endured, 🥺 I hope a miracle for you. I can’t help, but I heard you. I heard you and I feel you.

        • He actually says the way is straight and narrow few find it, meaning few find the straight and narrow path. We’re justified by faith alone, salvation is a free gift from God.

      • So if you have a baby and he’s screaming his head off blood dripping from where it got it’s mouth hasn’t eaten in days and is just all around suffering, your just going to say “don’t worry your father loves you” don’t post if you don’t know what your talking about. I do know, and I suffer IMMENSELY AND DAILY. And turns out its not our fault BUT THE CHURCHES! Jesus said from those who have little, little will be expected; to those who have much, MUCH will be expected. And no it’s not money he references. It’s EVERYTHING. Including those blessed with peace and joy. You take it for granted and tell those suffering that GOD loves you. I got news for you it was Jesus who said those who come to you in hungry and thirsty with no place to rest their heads and you say to them “go in peace” IS SIN! We have demons and we want them gone! But the church has failed us. Where can we find someone to cast these things out of us? All we see are people telling us GOD loves us… To all my brothers and sisters in Christ suffering in here, I am sorry. I am suffering immensely with you. We can not seem to get the Lord to heal us no matter how much we repent and pray, neither do we have the strength to get outta bed most days. And “GOD’S people” all they do is commit the sin Jesus said NOT to do. “GOD loves you, go in peace” ya well, if I die today owell. And all my brothers and sisters suffering. It’s not your fault. The church failed. All we can do is hope on one of 3 things. We die, Jesus heals us, or Jesus returns. But no one in the church will cast out your demon. They will just tell you GOD loves you. We are alone. But the only good news I have is we made it further on our walk then these people did on theirs. We are feeling the sin of this fallen world. These other People claiming to live for GOD do not even notice it. They just walk around self righteously telling EVERYONE GOD loves them and power through church on Sundays. Besides that they live their lives THE EXACT SAME! We whom have seeked diligently, GOD revealed what the sin of the world has done to our spirits. And theirs not one righteous person left to cast them out. Lord, your people suffer. For thy mercies sake please take pity on us we are IN AGONY!!!

        • Amen my fellow brother or sister. The “Waters of Babylon” (the people leaving the “churches” (and not just “christian”) for their hypocrisy and ineptitude) are drying up! Having survived emotional torment/trauma, physical and sexual abuse from ages 6-13, I FEEL the evil of this world. I have a friend who had similar experiences. He too can FEEL the evil. I’ve repented; over and over and over (Proverbs 24:16). I’ve fasted (Mark 9:29). I’ve prayed; over and over and over (1 Thess. 5:17). I’ve done my best to “love my neighbor as myself”, especially more recently. I’ve given food and money to the poor (Luke 12:33). I’ve done everything but live with nothing. I’ve done everything but live as Jesus did (Matt. 8:20), as we aren’t to live as such to my knowledge. Still no “victory”. Still no “relief”. Still plagued by these demons yet. Some would say that I’ve not “totally committed to Christ”, while they drive around in their Caddies, Lincolns, etc. and essentially live fake. Others would say “perhaps you SHOULD sell everything as Jesus said”. They wouldn’t. Even if I did, I’d be scooped up and put into a mental ward (not that I haven’t been there many times already). What would that accomplish? I want to live in peace, even with my abusers if possible (Luke 11:4). I want to have a forever home with a capable and loving wife (Prov. 31:10) whom with I can raise a God-fearing family, play my music to praise God and brew some ales and welcome all those faithful to share with me. I cannot take this overt wickedness any longer. It’s only getting worse (Matt 24:12). I’m ready to give up on humanity and God. I’ve already resolved to stop praying and reading the Bible. What’s the use? I’ve been pleading with people to stop the stupidity as we are all in it together, stop and think logically with TRUE evidence, and to help each other out as best as we can. Nobody cares. It’s like I’m that abused child again that gets ignored, dismissed and shunned. Take me Jesus. Or not. I’m done.

          • Hello. My name is katrina. Seeing the evil is only the beginning. The first mistake is calling a building a church. We are the chirch of Christ. Please email me. I am not a pastor or any of that, and i am hardly ever online and have never given a stranger my info, so please dont think im a troll or something. Im a 35 year old out of pa who only found Jesus after 32 years of seeing demons and being told i was a nutjob. For some reason a serious wave of depression led me to a google search about God and suicide and this spoke to me. Seeing this shit and and feeling powerless to stop it is what led me to be saved. I could no longer function. Then God came in and now He has shown me how to get control over these things through Him. We all can, through the power of God and the doctrine of the Kindom of Heaven. With the power of the Holy Spirit and a heart that seeks truth We have been given more power than you would imagine. Krichards5551@gmail.com and i know its stupid to put my email out there but this is one of those things were God is telling me that those who contact me are doing so for His purpose.

          • The Lord was there for me in the worst of times. After 30 years of being an Atheist when I had hit rock bottom he spoke to me and drew me in to a local Christian Church where a friend of mines father was a Pastor. I had never believed before than. I gave myself to him in silent prayer and it was at that moment I finally felt Christ.

            For some suffering is the soil for faith.

            I promised him I would walk with him when I was able and asked for him to carry me when I wasn’t. In his footsteps i’ve followed…Those of us who know Christ know that its not some magical snap of the fingers and he makes us better. It takes time and effort on our part as well.

            Im once again at a moment of weakness…ready to give up…but he was there when I needed him most so I can’t quit on him…

            You, As someone who seems to know their Bible quite well knows that. I dont think i’ll ever be what I want or what my family wants. I’ll probably be single and without children the rest of my life and it hurts, Immensely, but I will never forsake God. I find my joy in helping others and I hope this helps you. Maybe you could do the same. Others in our situation need people like us who understand and share their pain.

            Don’t give up. Help others and you will find joy. Nobodies ever felt worst after helping someone. God bless.

          • You could never know the pain I’m in due to a 22-year neuropathy. The doctors think that it is hereditary but I can’t think that somehow I brought this on myself with something I did. 5 years ago the government decided to take almost all of our medicine away and now we simply are bedridden and making others miserable with our misery.. forget the pain scale of 1 to 10 what is pain when you don’t want to go on it has to be at 10 right? That is the constant Pain I Face from more than 25 nerve endings the fingers, toes and other places. I am sure this must be what a brain cancer must be like but in that case most people die within months. How does God expect me to go on when people have made it known that I irritate them with my constant pain and negativity. My own family may not pick up the phone. I can’t turn it off and God expects me to go on? It will not improve it will continue until my death. Now alone.. I feel like I have been a horrible human being because of it. Of course I don’t steal or any of the rest. But I wake up feeling awful every single time when I get any at all. There is no sense to my life at all. I’ve lost most of my money to bad Investments and this disease which should be covered but often isn’t. I understand it’s Jesus blood that gets me to heaven but what a disgusting walk that I’ve lived. Some because of my own choosing and the rest due to this disease.

          • You fucking pollyanna dickheads live on another planet. Get it into your heads: GOD DOESNT GIVE A SHIT. Heres why:
            I am a church organist. I had to shield from covid for 18 months and couldnt attend church.. God didnt give a shit. I got covid. God didnt give a shit. I got covid again. God didnt give a shit. I am SICK, SICK, SICK of God, and I am SICK of the excuses made for God by idiots like YOU.
            LOOK WHATS GOING ON IN FUCKING UKRAINE: the heartache, the displacement, the families ripped apart, the war crimes committed by the scum of the earth dregs of humanity known as Russians.

            WAKE THE FUCK UP. Fairy tales arent meant for adults.

          • I absolutely and totally understand being ignored!!! It is very disheartening. I’m just a middle aged woman in a bad marriage who works at a restaurant. What the hell would I know right? I know plenty but people don’t care, you try to help and try to warn, and try to find other like minded people but they’re nowhere to be found. I understand!!!!!!!!

        • Yes my goodness, you nailed it. You Expressed every word I have been feeling and going through.
          Like charles spurgeon as well. And I pray as well oh Lord for thy mercies sake please take pity on us we are in agony

        • Hello,
          I feel your hurt and frustration in your words, and I can agree with alot of what you’re saying because I too am full of hurt, pain, agony.. Whatever you want to call it.
          But one thing is for sure, God does love you ad cliche as that might sound to you. He gave you life, a beautiful life. You are not dead which means there is still hope for you.. Jesus said that his purpose is to give everyone hope and a NEW future. This is only temepory and try not to allow your hurt to cloud God loves for you. There is something so special about you that no one but you have and God loves you because of that. I pray you find true answers, healing, love and comfort. God bless you.

        • Could not have said it better myself. 🙁 the painful irony I have experienced repeatedly is killing me. I’m literally praying for God to take me. I can’t do this any more. I’d like to think when we see one set of footprints in the sand, that’s when he carried us. However, the way my life is going recently, after giving everything to him, I don’t want to get better, I know I will be in an emotional dark place where my heart hurts from the time I wake till I sleep again. I cry throughout the day now and I can’t be the mom my kids need right now. Everything was getting better, then the darkness found me and my comfort, hope, confidence, happiness and peace are gone. I only wish for rapture or to be taken soon from a broken heart.

        • Amen I am I. So much agony and pain my bones have been broken and dried inside me I’ve had bad luck after bad luck I did seen by seeking astrology and lusting after a woman online pornography addiction idolatry but I tell you my heart is good I do have anger in my heart but I don’t hate anyone sometimes when you feel you been wronged you just want justice and I wrong for that

        • You have to submit to God and satan will flee.Choose to believe and submit to his word.You submit tto his word enough and satan will leave.I am asking God to make away to help those wanting delivered and give them a gift of faith and strong desire to know him in jesus name.

        • If it’s bad to say go in peace then y don’t I talk to u like god talked to his disciples when they where also hurt and miserable on their journey spreading the word of god they prayed to god and god listened, I’m no god but I know how much talking to someone can help and yes I am a stranger but this is gods work at hand to try and give you hope. some of you who have lost hope have quoted things in the Bible so you should believe the Bible when it also says “ And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive.”. A lot of you are asking for death and believe that there is no way out. God will not grant your prayer of death n if u keep believing there’s no way out then there will be no way out. I understand I am a stranger but I’ve also been going through some hard times and i can relate to anyone who’s lost hope or faith but I would hate to see people who see absolutely no way out. Anyone feel free to get back to me @jamesmm2003@gmail.com. I swear on my love for god Everything will be discreet.

        • Irrelevant and/or anyone else,

          Call Dr Roger Boehm 321-269-0404 Center for Christian counseling for help casting out Demons. Tell him Kenny sent you and your time with him will be paid for. Hoping this message finds you better. Grace peace and love to you and yours

        • I totally agree about the church . I have tried to find someone who cares enough to listen to my story in the church when my son was murdered over drugs and money ..No fault of my own I took him to church and he was babtized as a child but he fell away to bad choices …well they at church after they heard how he was taken in a grusome crime were acting like I was a disease instead of showing love , comfort and support from the church . That is just one of my miserable life stories about my children and my miserable life . I feel like a modern day Job , My five children have been taken from me through death , drugs and mental illness I cry out to God to help me and my life is still a miserable mess. Why ? I just want to die but I do not want to take my own life ..I am too scared to do that . I wonder when I will find peace , like you said suicede , a GOd miracle or Christ returning for those whom he loves ??

        • Amen to that !!! All the Christians I’ve known, including family members, have absolutely nothing to do with me !
          And it appears that God Himself is not available.

      • I know he loves me. But I’m over the struggle. I just landed the of a life time,but I have no gas to get there. No in my family or friends can help. I’m sick and tired of the Caribbean dangled in front of me just to be snatched away at the last second it’s not f****** worth it

      • You fucking pollyanna dickheads live on another planet. Get it into your heads: GOD DOESNT GIVE A SHIT. Heres why:
        I am a church organist. I had to shield from covid for 18 months and couldnt attend church.. God didnt give a shit. I got covid. God didnt give a shit. I got covid again. God didnt give a shit. I am SICK, SICK, SICK of God, and I am SICK of the excuses made for God by idiots like YOU.
        LOOK WHATS GOING ON IN FUCKING UKRAINE: the heartache, the displacement, the families ripped apart, the war crimes committed by the scum of the earth dregs of humanity known as Russians.

        WAKE THE FUCK UP. Fairy tales are meant for adults.

    • Oh my I am in ur same shoes. I love God and he has a plan for all of us . I do t know what it is but I am still waiting. My life is crappy and I am with a narsatistic person. I just work hard and wait for God to give me the sign to move on.

      • I have same thoughts.right now i feel like god is punishing me for these thoughts about him being abusive and cruel to those who try to follow him.and now my 11 year son.eye operation is rotting and eyes not fixed still.so my child is suffeting.asking me why god is not healing him but making him worse.i taught the child that god id a healer(rapha).i want to trade with god??take my life and heal my child.for once answer my prayer.kill me.n stop the child from suffering n asking me stupid questions about god’s will on his rotting eyes.kill me n preservr my kid’s trustnin you..

        • It don’t work like that Tina if you die he till gonna suffer life not fair I’m struggling also going through things I could be suffering cuz one my family things they did either way I’m ready to die

          • I feel the exact same way and even though my faith is wavering we have to stay strong don’t give up as hard as it is to have faith in him when we going through it we can’t let the devil push us to wanting to end our lives and believe me that’s how I’m feeling I’m very ill and I don’t see a way out I honestly think I’m going to Die but only god knows and I’m very scared cause I have a daughter and I don’t want to leave her but idk what god wants if my life so just remain strong

        • Life is hard but what keeps me going is seeing Jesus bleeding to death on the cross for me.That is my strength,hope and healing. I know His death and resurrection comes with many things.But the sight of Him on the cross suffering for me is all the strength,love and healing I need.I will remember your boy in prayer but remember one thing…NO AMOUNT OF SUFFERING OR EVEN DEATH CAN SEPARATE US FROM GOD’S LOVE FOR US IN CHRIST JESUS.PLEASE READ ROMANS 8:31 TILL THE END OF CHAPTER 8.

      • My heart hurts too…I love God, I love Jesus…I don’t want to be here anymore either…62 female, a legacy of generational trauma and 3 years ago poisoned by someone I was helping, I survived that to endure brain injury. In May, wrongly assaulted and abused by police because of an angry roommate. Again, I thought I was going to die. I love myself as God’s child and cannot do this struggle anymore. By myself and going into shelters, being abused and mistreated, I have a week to leave my brother’s home, his ex wife is moving back. I have to throw out some things so I can fit what I have left in my car. I’m asking God to take me in my sleep before I have to move. It will be so cold in my car and painful. I will not stay in another heartless shelter, or keep trying to rent a room from strangers. I’m done.

    • Richard, I feel the same way. I hope your still out there and you get this. God doesn’t cause these bad things in our life. The broken world and the world’s master, Satan, does. Yes, God could take us out of our earthly hell but he uses it to shape us into the person who will be able to reach someone that no one in the world could reach except for you. You are valuable beyond comprehension and you will be able to believe that if you allow Jesus to hold you and show you your value. It’s a hard lesson but a rewarding journey. Jesus is our strength. We can accomplish nothing without fixing our eyes constantly on Jesus.
      It’s going to be OK, coming from me who was just contemplating suicide and getting ready to act on a plan about am hour ago.

        • no you’re not already in hell. If you were you would not be allowed to post anything or do anything but suffer the unimaginable & you’d never ever want to kill yourself or be away from God or Jesus’s love. In hell that’s exactly what happens; you are separated & that’s when you begin your eternity of begging God & Jesus to save you but your pleas for their help will be answered by no one. Satan is that no one & he (though I’d rather refer to Satan as “it”) he will have his way with you & anything pain & suffering you feel right now will be absolutely nothing in comparison to that of Satan’s torture. That’s when you’ll immediately regret & wish you had another chance at the life God blessed you with. I may sound harsh because what I’m saying is harsh. Get on your knees & talk to God & Jesus & ask them for help. I do not want you to go to hell, I want no one to go there. I’ve heard many stories from people who have died but came back, I mean near death experiences. These people do not know one another yet they tell the same story where they were living a life of major sin & something happened like an accident, tried to commit suicide, heart attack, etc & their soul left their body & they almost died but instead of going to heaven they went to hell & it was so horrible that when the emergency room staff brought them back (saved their lives), these people & I mean every single one of them, immediately changed their lives for the better no matter what their situations were. All reported that they were tortured constantly both physically & mentally & cried out in such anguish but no one could help & while being tortured they constantly heard crying moaning begging from others being tortured. They smelled the most putrid vile smells of rotting flesh & nothing in earth could compare. Some were ripped apart by demons who laughed & when they begged the torture became worse. Some were chained by legs & arms stretched out totally naked & you can only imagine. They said no horror movie or horrible experience in life could compare & it never ever stopped & no one could help them & the demons did not relent. These people had tears in their eyes when telling their stories of visiting hell & for some reason they were revived & didn’t die. They all claim God & Jesus saved them but gave them a glimpse of where they were headed if they didn’t stop their life if sin. These people were like all people just perhaps they were too involved in their life if sin forgetting about God & to love others & they let evil & earthly desires rule their lives & made that their focus instead. There is nothing on earth that compares to hell except what’s in a man’s heart if he/she turns away from Jesus & God. So whatever pain you are feeling believe that this pain is in no comparison to the pain of hell. I understand not wanting to be here on earth & how it feels to be so distraught you no longer want to live here in earth or even wish you had never been created. I have been in this pain & struggle so much that I can barely breathe. I feel hopeless at times but hopelessness immediately diminishes when I call on Jesus & God. Even Jesus cried out to our Father “why have you forsaken me” while in that cross. I believe He truly felt that pain of being human & it got that bad so that Jesus could relate to being human & a key point for us who suffer & struggle to live could understand just how far & how deep & pure Jesus’s heart is. Jesus’s heart is so pure & so loving that human words can’t even begin to explain His immense love & He gave His life & suffered more than any of us who post our sufferings on this website because He loves that much.
          So believe me this very day, this is not hell. I consider us lucky & very loved even though my heart hurts but I’m going to endure this pain because it can never come close to the pain Jesus endured for each of us. And that physical pain He felt may not have even been as horrible as the pain & ugliness of bearing the sins of mankind. Think about how that must have felt for our beautiful Savior who never sinned & was absolutely pure & Godly & never did any wrong nor had bad thoughts only love & He took all that ugly sin upon Himself & He died for us when we were the ones who should have paid the price of our sins, not Him. And then please think of the pain God felt as His son suffered & was ridiculed, tortured, stabbed, beaten, spit on, mocked, accused, a trial of fools who were liars & afraid in a mockery of a trial then letting a murderer go free forcing an innocent man to receive a murderer’s punishment though they absolutely knew Jesus had committed no crime of any kind.
          Jesus at any time could have opted out. He could have said enough of this world I’m leaving & you all can take what you deserve cause I do not belong here! But Jesus took on all that pain & suffering out of His love for YOU & every single one of us. So I feel depression & so much that I’m distraught & it may never stop while I’m here on earth but I’ve got to remember that it’s not forever & that God nor Jesus did this to me, & God did say those who have faith in Him will endure suffering but He suffers with us & never leaves us & He wants us to pray to Him for His help & guidance & to read His word so we know how to live & how much He loves us. And that’s just about the only thing that has prevented me from suicide. And what He asks of us isn’t nearly as hard as what Jesus did. So you aren’t in hell and God & Jesus love you so so much even if no one on earth does so remember that. Those who suffer have many treasures in heaven waiting for them. Wow and I thought heaven was enough but yet God gives us even more? We are here on earth only a very short time compares to what eternity is which is forever. The real question for each of us is this: Where do we want to spend our eternity? is it heaven (YES) or is it hell? Where you are right now is the in-be-tween. Not hell but on earth & one day when that 7th and final trumpet sounds earth will be transformed & we will be transformed & you & I will have made it my beautiful new friend to the Kingdom of God & you will be so so happy & your pain will be gone forever as though it never was & you & I will dance. Stay with us please. I love you & God & Jesus also love you. YOU MATTER & GOD CREATED YOU CAUSE HE WANTED SOMEONE JUST LIKE YOU & THAT’S HOW VERY SPECIAL YOU ARE. PLEASE NEVER FORGET THIS MESSAGE. AND YOU HELPED ME FEEL AGAIN THANK YOU.

          • GoD’s one of the most worthless pathetic peice of shit excuses for a savior I’ve ever came across in my life. 2 things GoD’s known for, birth and death, are, L I T E R A L L Y , 2 things that happen to EVERYBODY. ANYthing that GoD’s known for doin, in between his birth and death, is only cause he had super powers. all the mythical, unexplainable, unnatural shit that it says GoD’s done, in the BiBLe, is nothin more than a joke. L I T E R A L L Y , ANYbody that has done,
            L I T E R A L L Y , ANYthing, A T A L L , in between their birth and death, has accomplished more than GoD EVER did. if GoD is real, then I want no part of the worthless peice of shit. someone who’s done nothin, but was worshipped and still continues to be worshipped by so many for the nothings that he’s done and still continues to do, to this day, is someone I’d rather not spend eternity w, after I die.

        • God cares and loves us, am a living with ness to that. I have been sick for the past 1month and a week now, from One sickness to another, sometimes I feel like giving up but if I remember God’s promises it fuels my faith and trust in him,, though am not fully recovered but I know I will get there some day. Pls don’t lose hope. God is at work in you life

        • Derek God does LOVE YOU & WHAT’S THE BEST FOR YOU !!!!!!! I would say trust me, but you don’t even know me. But I had a stroke & I can’t even remember day to day & I feel so alone, But deep in my heart I can feel his love & I know you can too. I know you can !!!!!!! GOD PLEASE BE WITH Derek TOUCH HIS HEART & HIS MIND & SHOW HIM YOUR LOVE DEEP IN HIS HEART & MIND !!!!!!! I know lately I feel the same way, but I also know he is with me & I the only thing that gets me through the day is knowing, even if I don’t feel it is that GOD is here for me. I know I don’t know you, but I know where you are coming from. If you need so one to talk to, because I know I do, here is my # 678-281-5152. GOD BLESS BROTHER !!!!!!!

          • I want a girl to love me but god won’t give me that I want to be smarter but god won’t give me that. I’m tired of being alive and I don’t want to serve someone for no benefit. Oh and his so called blessing you never know when you’ll get them so he’s obviously not real.

      • How did you make it through. I had a suicide attempt and am contemplating another one. Can’t find my way out of the pain

        • You are loved and someone needs you here, sometimes we are not only LIVING for ourselves but for others as well. You are loved, things will get better. God bless you

        • I thought of what eternity away from God would be & I cried in tears begging God to forgive me for such thoughts & He did forgive me & He told me He loves me even more & He wants me to live & He will help me every step of the way & that if I stay I will have such beautiful rewards & many treasures await me in heaven. And in heaven I won’t feel sad but I will feel love, protection, secure, total bliss, there’s no suffering or disease there, all my loved ones are waiting there for me even my pets, I will never hurt or want anything else & all will be perfect forever in heaven. God promised & He’s incapable of lying & when you really think about that why would God lie anyway? God has no need & doesn’t fear anyone, He’s our creator but even more important He’s our Father & His love is forever so He doesn’t lie. If you take your life, I mean kill yourself it’s your decision because God granted you “FREE WIIL” as He’s granted it for all His children. God wouldn’t be love if He decided everything for us like a puppet master. Love is allowing you total freedom to be you. Its not enslaving & forcing you to do what someone wants like people on earth do to themselves & others. God creates us out of His love & He uniquely designed each of us out of that love but equally & each as important as the other meaning He gives us all gifts. Its humans that put grades on these gift & humans that make people feel more important or less important. God says we all are important & loved…ALL OF US.
          You are important and loved by God. Your life here on earth is short in comparison to what eternity is. Think about this & I mean think hard!!! Do you want to leave so badly that you’d just go ahead & spend your eternity in hell? OMG I hope not because the pain you are feeling right not in no way compares to the pain you be given in hell. And it’s not short lived like just for a weekend, IT’S ETERNITY… FOREVER.
          Do you want to feel worse forever? I don’t believe for one minute that you do or you wouldn’t be posting on this website. You’d already be gone. Please don’t go, please don’t kill yourself…live so we can dance in heaven. You are loved & God told me to tell you so that’s what I am doing. I love you, God & Jesus love you. And you will make it through this life even if no one else loves you but us. But I’m pretty sure people posting their thoughts on this website love you too. CHOOSE LIFE! God has plans for you. You are needed here!!! Help others is His message!!! People are hurt in & depressed & covid didn’t help!

          • Brian,
            Not everyone who believes John 3:16 or Rom 10: 9,10 are going to heaven. Grace has some addendums and limits imposed by habitual sin. The book of Hebrews speaks that if you continue in sin that there’s no longer a sacrifice for sin. Heb 6:4. Impossible to repent,. Let’s not leave out Heb 10:26 to 31

            Scriptures say if you love me you will keep my commandments. So if you don’t keep his commandments you don’t really love God. You are just pretending. That is how He can say not everyone who says Lord Lord really knew Him. It was self deception and the result is Jesus himself saying “depart from me I never knew you”.

            We are not even aware of most of the sin we commit. We are aware of plenty though. The standard gets even higher as every secret or hidden motive gets brought into the equasion

            It was mentioned earlier about the narrow gate. I think it is MUCH narrower than just Jesus. I wouldn’t be surprised if almost all creation will spend eternity condemned to eternal torture by the God who loves them.

            I’ve given up

            I have a really hard time with a lot ving God and hell too. If I said to my son, “I love you,. “.
            Do you love me ? because if you don’t I’m going to cover you in gas and set you on fire take you to the doctor and get you well then do it again over and over for all eternity As a matter of fact the people who live down the block who don’t know who I am don’t love me either so get more gas.,I basically described hell. I’d be a psychopath. Now multiply this by billions and I would be God.

            It isn’t just believe and you are in. You may be hell bound and in deception as to your fate. You toss out verses without thinking why you believe them. If you were born in Saudi Arabia your answer would likely have been from the Koran (sp?), Born in Asia? Budah would have influenced your thinking. Etc. So if where someone is born will color what they think is truth does anyone have truth in the absolute measure?

            I believe in God. I believe in Jesus and his substitutionary death. I also believe I’m going to hell. My actions betray my core belief. I must conclude I don’t really love God. What I thought I believed is of no worth or value to modify me into the image of His son. It is inevitable just burn me forever.

        • Hey J, I’m so sorry !!!!!!! A lot of us have been there. I pray that GOD touches your heart & leads you & guides you. I know that feeling is from the devil. I know I don’t know you, but if you need someone to talk to here’s my # 678-281-5152. GOD BLESS !!!!!!!

    • I am at this point of life. I see no hope, no joy, no need to chase my dreams, no sense of direction. I simply dont wanna live in this filthy flesh anymore. I want to go back to my father in heaven. I just want to die and diminish from this earth forever and ever and find meaning in paradise. I have prayed for death, l have begged God to give me a peaceful rest, he knows my life has lost meaning but he still gives me bonus breathes each day l wake up. I hate this hard life in a material useless world where the body will go with nothing to the grave. I can never look at suicide as an option, l just pray God gives me the premature death he mentioned in lsaiah 57:1-2. Being away from the body is being with Christ.

        • stop it right now! I’m not usually this determined but today…

          YOU ARE WRONG.
          Why are you being so selfish? People need you to be better than this. We are counting on you. You are needed & all you can do is the potty thing?
          God doesn’t play cat & mouse. He’s not a player!

          Today is your day.

          There’s only two days out of the year you can do nothing, yesterday & tomorrow.

          So it’s your choice, today is your day. You either stop accusing God because that’s dangerous and foolish or go ahead and go to hell because you don’t love God.
          God still loves you though. As hard as that may be.
          You know what you’re doing right now? You are hurting people by saying what you just said. You are handing them the gun. You’re killing hope & putting bad thoughts out there.
          Shit is it that you want to do absolutely nothing at fixing your life? Maybe have God rush in when something goes wrong? Why are you so important that you should have such luxury where you expect God to wait on you hand & foot? You’re certainly not contributing any good stuff that helps others, not even making an effort. Maybe that’s why your rug got pulled & now you fall on your face.
          Stop that attitude cause it’s poisoning your brain. You’ve gotta contribute to your own life when you have freewill. And it’s not all about you. There are others depending on you TODAY.
          So go ahead& blame God & then everyone who wants to end their lives & even more so cause they read what YOU wrote can blame you for making them feel like shit.
          Regardless I care. I care enough that I sent this reply. Get it together. Don’t hurt me by hurting yourself. Its you who decides. Take the ? way out or open you heart & mind & forget all that doom & gloom.
          Definition of insanity is to continue thinking & doing what you’ve always done but expecting different results. (Ya I know I changed some wording I’m not perfect).
          You are gonna have good & bad days my friend. Its how you deal with them that makes you feel better. I believe you are very intelligent because you write well & express yourself very well. Use those excellent traits & skills for the good of others & I bet you’ll find happiness there.
          Please choose to live & choose heaven. We will dance & par-tay there. We are counting on YOU TODAY

          • Yep that’s what everyone says god doesn’t have to do stuff when ever you want it. Then what’s the point of devoting you’re life to him I suffer everyday. And no the omnipotent god said he can help in the Bible so he should I shouldn’t have to do all the work. I plan to kms because he doesn’t want to do anything.

          • I’m clinically depressed I can’t just forget about the bad stuff and it happens everyday. So how are we supposed to feel good about god when we have to devote our lives and wait years for him to do smt. And what does it matter if people see that guys post and feel bad. I saw it and felt good because Ik that I’m not alone and suicide is good.

          • Sorry theirs just no point to rely on a god who chooses not to do anything you proved everything. You say do it yourself which means god won’t. But the Bible says he will so if he won’t then he’s not real it’s a loop hole. Either god should help people when they want or he’s not real theirs no proof that he is. Bad stuff happens me to me constantly God doesn’t bless me because he’s obviously not real. You literally told people to do everything theirselves well guess what some of us can’t but we all know that God won’t come and make it better we have to do it all so yeah suicide is okay thanks a lot.

      • I can tell you now, if you’re in pain and praying for God to just kill you already, He wont. Not yet. Probably wait until you are fully healed, finally in a place of personal peace and happiness with yourself. If not happiness, just acceptance. Just as you start to enjoy life, and want more time on this earth, that’s when God will pull the rug out from under you.

        No, God doesn’t love all His children. More like a cat that tortures its prey, but never really kills it. As soon as you try to get away, that paw comes back and brings you back into your tortured existence.

        • Praying for you brother. God sends His children when it is time. He’s wiser than us. Peace be with you

        • That makes no scene,you mean to tell me you can only die it you are in pain cause be deeases. Thats hog wash. If life was so great then why god allowed congress and government to kill indigenous people for their own land? Where was he when those people was being kill. Where was he when i work extra ordinary hard to improve my life and situation 37 yr and he allowed govrnment to when over other.. congress and government is wrong doers but you dont stop them,? You say suiecide and sin is bad, well i didnt see being good didnt do anything either.
          It said, jesus die for your sin, is not trust. He wss murdered by the same rules they call government. Jesus die for your sins but people are still siffering from government he allow them to cause harm to everyone anf sufffering.
          If jesus die for your sins and your are still suffering then he die for nothing.
          But here they love to say ending one self is a coward, well i would rather be a coward , then a fool for other including government to cause you pain suffering, and being forced into dependency bythem. So living life in suffering and struggle and lack is good thing? I say noway. If i end it, what would i lose, all the thing god, congress and government denied me from. So i can pray and nothing chang. If ending it is crazy or a coward, staying here ti allow it is a infinitive times and infinitive harmacidal. Allowing other to harn you that god is not stopping.

      • I secretly pray for this everyday. I’m thankful for God’s blessings in this life. The blessings does not erase the pain of worthlessness, mental anguish, and hopelessness. I watch others suffer, for all the help I give, I can’t allievate poverty, joblessness, and sickness. I just want to die and see Jesus face to face. No more sorrow or pain. I’m tired of humanity’s worth only being tired to money and accomplishments. I’m tired of the regret for sins of my past tormenting me. I wake up disappointed that God don’t take me away in my sleep. I just want to be rid of this flesh and this world. In death there is fullness of joy, we see our savior. I find it hard to grieve our brothers/sisters in Christ who passed away. I’m secretly jealous of them, especially those that died young( teens,20s, 30s, before 65). I want my life short. I know ultimately it’s his purpose that pervails. I just don’t understand why God’s keeps me alive. I am the dumbest person on this planet. Only reason I survive is because I come from a family that has financial means to support me when I couldn’t as an adult. I thank God I’m more financially independent now. The worthlessness doesn’t go away. I thought about suicide in the past, but to much a coward to do so. I know that’s no the will of God. My reason for dying is selfish I know. I just want to see Jesus that bad. I don’t care about living long on this planet until old age. I think 35 years is s long enough life for me, I’ve helped people and also hurt people. I just think the world will be better off without me. I don’t have any dreams or longterm goals. I just want to die to be with him, bow before his throne, and worship forever.

    • Richard…..I ended up here because I am exhausted in pressing on. living in a world of repeated day to day existence. My life has been very painful. I have loved Jesus since I was a little girl. And since I was a little girl, my life has been full of pain and loss. I have a relationship with Jesus I believe however, I cant live with the knowing that I have disappointed. I have failed in every aspect of my life that now at my age, I can look back and see how I could have done more, or better . My son died recently.. my other children struggle. My daughter did drugs so badly she lost her children. I don’t get to see my grandchildren. I never did drugs. I never lived that kind of life raising my kids and I have been a single mother and alone now for over 20 years. I feel ugly too. Men are so superficial. I have never met a man that would just love me for who I am. What I offer. What I love or value. How much I love and care about others and used to about life. I tried so hard to always do what was right. Now, at 56 I look back at my life and see how all of my choices have caused the ones I love the most struggles. Being a single parent was hard. I worked and went to school full time to better my life and my childrens and no one was there for them. They are paying the consequences of my failing them as a parent. of course their choices are their responsibilities and I know that.. however, every decision I have made while I was their mother has had some sort of contribution to their lives today. and for that I want to die.. I am well aware of all. I research almost every day if I could still be forgiven if I end my life.. The pain in my life since childhood has caught up with me. I do not want to go on.. I pray God takes me I beg him to.. I cannot take the pain anymore and do not want help to get over it. I want to die. I am so so sorry Richard that you want to die because you feel ugly… I am so sorry I understand lonliness .. I bet you have so much to offer someone in just who you are as a person. When someone can love you just because of who you are.. not what you look like… please know and believe Richard that there are women out there who will and can love you past whatever flaw you believe prevents it. I am telling you this because I know … and for everyone else.. I do not want help. do not email me telling me how much God loves me.. He took my son. He took my dog, 10 days before he took my son. He allowed for my own father to take my innocence for years. He allowed my mother to not want me. God gave me a painful childhood… I believed I loved Jesus even after all this.. then he took my son.. and everything is different.. my eyes are open now… Everything I thought was ISNT

    • I am just reading this now (Feb 2021). I feel your pain. I feel similar. I struggle daily. I don’t always know what to do. You are however special. I hope you are still here.

    • The bible, who wrote it? Men. Various men, over many years. Interesting. I believe there is a spirit out there, everywhere, and I believe we are not really able to comprehend it. It’s not a being who takes care of us, fixes us, gives us what we need. If it was, how do we explain the atrocities that so many innocents have suffered over millennium (e.g. holocaust is only one example of many). We are floating around the solar system on a ball of beautiful dirt, and we are left to the fate of our environment, our experiences, our genetics. It’s that simple. There is no hoofed bad guy whose responsible for all the bad stuff. Let’s get real. I think everyone knows this. How bizarre is such a notion? The notion of a really bad guy whose responsible for all the bad stuff that happens, and a father figure called god, he hangs out and watches it all, and wants us to learn a lesson, pay for sins, blah blah blah. It’s time for us to grow up and call reality what it is. Reality. We are left to our own devices. Don’t try to explain it, especially with the words of others. There’s a spirit/consciousness out there, and it probably loves everything that is alive. That love is unconditional. So where does that leave us, if it’s true? This autonomy we are given, as a blessing and a curse. For those who experience the curse (not a literal curse), will always suffer, and many, to the extent that they wish to take their life. That is tragic, beyond words. The only thing worse, is the inability of those in authority to recognize and respect the autonomy of those who suffer, to help the relieve their suffering in a peaceful manner. The well meaning efforts to deny a peaceful exit for those who suffer intolerably, is cruel. I pray every night to “god” to take me home, in a peaceful manner that does not traumatize my family, as an unexpected exit would. I beg god, those in authority, and everyone else who wants to help me, just let me go in peace, and with some level of compassion. The alternative, which we see every day, is brutal, lonely, traumatizing.

    • Dear Richard,
      This is to Richard and all who have posted or found this page. Please read. I am truly sorry for your pain. I ache from your loss when I read your posts. I am in the same boat as all of you. I feel trapped in this world no desire to live. I cant stay, cant leave, and feel unwanted, unloved and unheard. For some perspective, Im a 50 year old doctor, successful, 25 years married to a model, 3 healthy kids, millions in the bank. All the superficial ingredients of a great life, right?
      You are not alone. None of you. Look at the lot of your testimonies. I had a horrible childhood, no friends at all, mother abandoned, frequently beaten. Saved at 19 I asked the same question all of you do…why did this happen? Why am I alone? Why does no one care? What did you make me for this? Everyone else looks so happy so different. God DID answer and will answer you if you can accept it.
      Despite what many of you believe, God is not a magic genie that you ask for goodies and if you do not get what you want in that moment that is proof He is unloving. God is sovereign, Holy and just. He knows what you need when you need it without you even asking. He has already proved His love by demonstrating His sacrifice, forgiveness and promises which are real. He NEVER promises good health, happiness, a job, a gf/bf, a good family or that even a single person will give two flips about us, respect, friends, a house, our dignity, or that we will not be mistreated, humiliated, or lose those we love. Much the opposite. God’s word guarantees we will face this. There will be seasons of life, for some of us more than others, especially at the end, which we will not enjoy but only endure.
      God’s answer to me: Man is the master of his own fate. Your life is what you make it. God gives people free will. Life is not easy for any of us. Unfortunately sin comes in the world and wrecks our lives through the actions of others- and let’s be honest often from our own bad life choices. Any of you have the power and God’s authority to do the same and take life by the balls and make the most of yourself even if you are not personally fulfilled. At least don’t blame others, “the church” or accept the lie that God does not exist or He does not love you if you decide to take life lying down. God does not owe you ANYTHING. You owe it to yourself.

      • Aron if you have millions in a bank care to invest in a God’s prophecy declaring book? As few have millilons or interest in Christian prophecy. But you must have if for real. I feel pain seeing the little Aron abandoned, deprived the love you should have. Please feel my pain for being given these prophecies yet lacking the finances to spread it. Publishers ..they for sure deny this world wide corruption proved by the history.

      • Good you proved my point too. God won’t do anything that you ask for. So then don’t dedicate you’re life to him the Bible says he will give you blessings but oh wait gods not a genie 😱 looks like no help. So yeah he’s obviously not real and suicide is something that is going to help everyone because God won’t.

    • I feel like dying every day don’t want to be around lost my job drinking problem major debt suicidal thoughts all the time

    • I had a special relationship with my Doberman who was my sevice dog and pet therapist….most of all HE WAS MY BEST FRIEND!!! He took care of me for 13 years! I live with a roommate who has and does abuse me mentally, emotionally, physically and sexually. I’m living in hell on earth! after all the abuse I’ve suffered most of my life, I’m tired and want to be with my best friend who saved my life here on earth, he loves me as much as I loved him He never abused me in any way shape or form I never known a gentler soul and a truer heart I’m tired of the pain and misery and pray that God will take me home I’m too chicken to do myself in, just want to be at peace for once in my life…

      • In prayer. God is there. He taught us it would not help to end your life, He knows when it is time. It will be okay, somehow, someway. I’m sorry to hear about your situation. Peace be with you

    • I’m in the same boat. I am miserable and want to die. I don’t know why God made me to look the way I do, but He does what He wants. I always wanted to be in love, but the jokes on me…it will never happen. The urge to be with someone to love is so great, it tears my soul knowing it can never be. We are not supposed to ask God why He makes us the way we are as the Bible states, “ does the clay ask the potter, what are you making?” I would say to that is I am more than just a lump of clay…I am a living human being with needs that YOU made. Doesn’t pay to question God I guess. If He wants you to suffer, you will. If He hates you, you’ll know because your soul will feel like in a void.cold existence with no love will destroy you…trust me I know. I pray God will have mercy on you.

      • I’m no one who wants to kill myself I Just want Jesus To Take me Home With Mom she’s dying Of Lung Cancer and it’s tearing me up we’ve always been so close she’s 85 yrs she’s been my Best Friend after God and my Husband I’m very Much in Love With my Savior but I don’t know if that’s a sin to ask such a Prayer like that because I don’t think I can handle it without here here with us anymore

    • Richard, I can tell you one thing. Ugly is not something that you have told yourself. I know I may be too late but I pray that I am not. Your world has led you to believe that you are less than desirable. We as humans focus on the surface, on what we see. Yeshua said that it is better to enter heaven without an arm than to do sin. This tells me that God is not interested in what we look like but in our hearts. Your pain tells me that you feel deeply. Are you surrounding yourself with superficial people? God made us the way we are to love him in spite of our shortcomings, in spite of our suffering. Think of the disciples who were stoned and crucified. Praise God in your pain. Know that He does love you… As a father loves his child. Yes God could have made you another way but the truth is that if he had… You would not be YOU. You would not affect the world around you the way only YOU can. God gives us our lives for a purpose… That purpose may not be for us as Moses was given a purpose to get the Israelites out of Egypt… Remember the prayer where we submit ourselves to God’s will “Thy will be done.”

      Don’t let the world steal and break your heart… It seems to be one that the world will need in these dark and troubled times.

    • Hi Richard, I have been so down lately I understand how you feel. Don’t give up. I know you may feel hopeless so do I but we have to hang on. Everything seems to be going wrong at the same time for me and I want to just give up. I am not going to let satan take my soul. I’ve always heard that if you take your life then you will burn in hell forever. I don’t know if its true or not but I don’t want to go to a place like that where you burn forever. Hang in there brother.

    • Do something..tell God what it is, then do it. Go out and do something nice. Whether you feel like it or not. Who cares what you look like. Beauty is within. And that is NOT a clique.
      God may be testing you. He won’t give you more than you can handle.
      Pray with all of your heart. You’ll be surprised what God can do.

    • Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo I’m sorry, I wish you nothing but nourishment and happiness. I want to die a lot too. And feel selfish when I see others suffer more. I read suffering is used by the lord to bring us closer to Him. Your prayers aren’t in vain. And I you are loved. This material world is so harsh especially on sad souls. I hope the lord gives you strength and love from within and helps you day to day.

    • Oh my goodness God does want you here. You were created for such a time as this. Hardest thing you’ll ever have to do is to Lean on God to pull you from the miry pit. He love you so much He sent His son to die on the cross for you. Yes, I said you. Truth be known you were on His mind when He was nailed to that cross. Start realizing you are allowing satan to control your mind. God doesn’t send folks to hell, we send ourselves by allowing sin to come in. If you killed yourself you’d go to hell and suffer way more than you are now. I promise it will be easier to stand up in faith and face your fears. Then you will spend eternity with God in Heaven. The way back to God is in a single step. And start praising the God, because He lives in the praises of His people.
      Bless you.

      • God doesn’t care if we die or not that’s why he lets people off themselves he doesn’t answer prayers and y’all just say oh fix you’re life yourself don’t blame god and expect him to do it for you. The Bible says to spread the word of god and I will I’ll make sure to tell people that god doesn’t give a shit fix you’re life yourself. Oh you get beaten by you’re husband and can’t escape just gods plan he doesn’t have to do anything free choice after all 😊. Oh you want to blow you’re head off god won’t stop you free choice after all. It’s all bs just practically proves it you can’t say gods good and all loving then tell people to fix their own lives.

    • Everyone is beautiful or attractive in a different way. Everyone has something to offer even if you don’t see it. I always hated myself and wanted to die and everyone told me how beautiful I was. I loved everyone and always seen the good in everyone and had so much pain I could understand what everyone was going through and understood why they were the way they were. I had so much love and understanding for everyone else but I couldn’t do it for me. I have since accepted Jesus as my saviour and have been given truth and wisdom and it’s magic. Someone said once people don’t have the imagination to understand reality because this world is really that magical. Truly I 100% promise you. You have to love everyone and most of all you have to love yourself. Confess your sins and accept Jesus as your saviour and I promise you will be healed and love yourself as much as he does. God bless. We love you. Kisses and hugs. I hope you feel better soon.

    • Thank you ❤️
      GOD blesses you and your family an all ur friends and ppl u share Life with ‼️❤️❤️‼️
      I JuSt….70 😳… I’m tiRed 😫…an physically…aLone.. a buSy..loving… women…😌.. wif Jesus inMy ❤️‼️ Tytytytytytytytyan TYTY again 💋 4 ur woRdS ‼️❤️❤️‼️

    • Hi,true beauty is not looks,what is really attractive is a joyful spirit,
      I’m a man ,I’ve been told by men and women that I am the best looking man they have ever seen.
      It does not bring joy,or happiness, contentment,peace,etc..
      I look into the mirror and I see JESUS..,NOT ME.ITS ALL ABOUT JESUS.
      LOSE YOURSELF AND YOU WILL FIND YOUR LIFE.WE ARE ATTRACTED TO PEOPLE THAT LOVE OTHERS THAT YOUR JOY MAY BE FULL.PEACE AND LOVE.IN CHRISTS NAME

    • I’m sorry Richard. I have so much to be thankful for . yet I just last night had wanted to leave this world. Even beautiful people feel bad or ugly. Hate life or themselves. I think for me it’s being alone. I don’t feel loved. Love is missing. We all need physical contact. Hugs. God loves me blessed me but I still need human contact. I don’t even know the last time I had a hug. And I’m not ugly. Beautiful people can be so ugly also. God loves us the meek ones the weak ones of the world. Your form isn’t who you are. Inside in yr being yr spirit yr heart find that person. Love that guy. I bet there’s a great guy there. You may be alone until you die, I may be. I just want to live too being happy and in peace. Most days I can live in peace. Being my best. Caring for me and others. God can use you, you know so much about a bad life been through I can only imagine. I don’t look in the mirror, this body, I’m probably hard on myself. Maybe to vain. I have eyes and wish I had taken better care. I’m told I’m beautiful, but I just don’t like the aging. I look at my face in the mirror to wear my makeup fix my hair for the day. Then move on. Yr not define by yr looks. I know I don’t see you so I can’t say yr not ugly or beautiful. I can say it’s within. Find that guy. I hope you find peace.

    • Oh, my crying (Oh, my crying)
      Feel I’m dying, dying
      Take me back to my own home
      I’m changing, arranging
      I’m changing
      I’m changing everything
      Everything around me
      The world is
      A bad place
      A bad place
      A terrible place to live
      Oh, but I don’t want to die
      Oh, my sorrows
      Sad tomorrows
      Take me back to my own home. .. This song fits the world today. We really want to live. 💗

  • I am sure you are fine. Don’t feel this way its your thinking I do the same thing I just lost my husband of 12 years I want to die but we have to keep god 1st. He will open doors. Send me a pic k

  • Yes me too. Sometimes I just dared God this question..why did you create people like us who not only give up on a stuck life but actually tired of existing. I dont mean to sound negative but this type of suffering is not gonna change because a lot of us just cant figure out how to or why anymore. We dont even understand why we had to go through it tirelessly trying to not fail. Its a joke

  • I am been a Christian for more than a year. I read Bible daily and often, and pray to God daily. I lost my job as a sole bread winner about a year ago. My expense is high and I do not what to do. I cried to God for help to open doors for me. The fact is I do not see any door really opens for more than a year.

    I see beautiful and encouraging words from the Bible but I have yet to see the deed and the truth in the words. I’m really stuck in life and I don’t know what to do. I am tired of this world and I cried to God to take me away, while I’m worried for my family and how they survive when I’m not here.

    Where is God when I most need Him? I want to love Him, trust Him, and have faith in Him. But where is God when I most need Him? I seek Him with all my heart, and yet I don’t feel I’ve found Him. Yet I don’t feel He is beside me.

    I really hope God is really there for me…. as I hope and hope and hope. God, help me…show me that you’re real and you love me. Any advice for me will be welcomed.

    • I am going through a similar if not exact situation you are. And I hope by now my comment doesn’t apply to you and you’ve found God in your storm. I don’t have much to say but to have complete faith in him! He is God of the universe. Sometimes we. Don’t understand why we go through things or when they will end we just have to trust in what his word says. That he will never leave nor forsake us. And that ALL things work out for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose. I don’t why I’m going through what I’m going through I’m not perfect but I know that when I come out of this the character, faith and trust that’s being built in me will be worth it. I rather go through turmoil on this earth and come out of the fire as gold then give up on God right before my breath through and live a life of sin and spend an eternity away from God in hell. Just keep your faith and keep pressing toward Christ! It will all work out ❤️

      • As for me, my faith in Christ is still intact, l know without him am doomed for hell. Life just reaches a point where it never gets better nomatter what you do or how much you pray. I lost my husband and here l am all alone in this useless earth. All l ask God to do for me is to also take me home now because l know to be absent in the flesh is to be present in paradise with Christ. My treasure which is eternal life and a peaceful rest is in heaven and thats where l wanna go and live for other than living in this useless, painful and an evil material world that will eventually be destroyed.
        My desire to satisfy my flesh with worldly gains and materials is all dead.

    • God is there. And I am in the same boat. Looking for answers but I know when I really need him he will be there. My life is really bad but for now I deal with it and kn ow G
      od is watching over me

      • Perhaps God is just as involved in each life, as he is with the molecules. Those appear to attract and react, as if they have no purpose just going with the flow. They pay no attention to the others nor compare themselves. Maybe all the scripture is to assist us to having a mind similar in thought. He made it all. We just observe wonder and live in awe. Nothing less. Nothing more. This helps me, at least.

    • Hi Albert. I am going through something similar now. Please let me know, did things work out for you and your family?

    • God has his own timing remember 1 year is like 1 minute to him, pray, fast, give him praise he will always provide if you lean on him. When you feel your lowest put praise music on and.praise its hard but so so powerful especially whem you feel your worst.
      Im praying.for you brother

    • Albert, I felt the same way and guess what He worked a miracle for me. Against all the odds he gave me the A I so desperately needed when I was about to fail. This may sound like a little to you but back then I used to think my life’s purpose was to make my parents proud of me and a hit to my GPA would make me unable to attend college. I am so grateful and everyday I give thanks to the Lord. 28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Believe with all your heart and He will answer. Without this test of faith I never would have begun my journey of faith trough Jesus Christ.

    • Be still. You’re trying too hard. God hears and knows everything you’re going through. And even if you have to drag yourself. Find a place where you can help others. Find a church..find a nursing home. Forgot yourself…and remember God. If you reach out to others..you will find your faith again. I promise.

  • I seek God yet he is no where to be found. I hate my life. Everything that can go wrong has went wrong. I haven’t worked in years because I was unable to find work. I decided to back to school and now I have debt and still can’t find work. I need two surgeries and my husband just left me. I’m really depressed and have no friends or family to depend on. I just want to die. Why keep living? I have absolutely no reason to exist. My life is like some cruel joke.

    • I’m really sorry to hear that.
      As for me, I think the day I die will be such a relief. Honestly, I can’t get there quickly enough 🙁
      But God loves us. There is meaning in all suffering?

    • Im so sorry that your going through this and you feel alone. I do not habe the answer as to why but it does remind me of Job in the bible
      He suffered so much and was a honest godly man and he lost everything not because thats what god wanted because of the enemy. He even had his friends accuse him of living a sinful life to justify all that happened to him.
      Know that your not alone and lean on gods every word he does care,
      It will get better we have to keep faith x
      And when you pray , pray in jesus name

    • You will be fine, one bad moment, month, or years do not equal eternity. There is always hope waiting for you with open arms. You are loved.

  • To Alberto, Laura, and Just tired.
    Everytime you feel sad or depress, pickup your Bible and read it and then pray. You have to put your problem in God’s hands and let him handle the problems for you. And do not take the problems back. He will take care of them. He still has you here for a reason. Make sure you thank him every day for all he has done for you, and praise him often. Continue reading your Bible and praying everyday weather things are going good are bad. Believe me he will answer you. God answers our prayers on his time and not ours. Maybe he is testing your faith. God bless you all, and please stay strong.

    • Try saying God has “a reason ” to people blind from birth, children with leukaemia, schizophrenic people in a mental hospital. Ask them to read the bible everyday and smile to themselves thinking everything will be alright.

      • I would rather be blind from birth and to turn to the Lord in my time of need than to be rich and perfect and never turn to the Lord. He is our source of happiness we love because He loved us first. I am thankful for my past suffering. And not only this but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us

      • Thank you Christopher you make a wonderful point! All the situations you mentioned are not happy at all and DEFINITELY not everything get’s better some people suffer there whole lives and nothing ever get’s better for them sadly even if they try it’s wrong to act like everything will just get better! I would love to believe in a loving god and hope that it’s true but I will be honest some things I think are too hideous for people to have to go through and I am not sure why he allows them to happen like children being kidnapped and brutally murdered, incurable horrifying illnesses that torture a person out of there minds people being sex trafficked to never be found again for there whole lives like why? why do things like this EVER need to happen?

  • I believe anyone can come to God as they are … you just have to have an open heart you have to desire him but to desire him is to give up your lifes treasures what you treasure the most …you will experience God peace if you let him come into your life that’s the only way to except him because why except him if we will have one foot in the door you have to ask him in prayer to help you to do his will. but on our part we have to agree with him and desire his ways to live in the bible it is a true way to really get to know him and experience his love for you he speaks to us through the bible but for us to love him we have to get to know him he reveals to us who desire him and want to know him and we have to keep ourselves away from the impurity lifestyle we can’t reach or stay close to him that way ….if you really desire a new relationship with him and really will devote yourself for the rest of your life then if you have trouble doing this or any doubt then you can say a prayer alone in your room and ask God sincerely from your heart that you need him and ask for forgiveness for your past sins then ask what you need to do next and wait for an answer he may respond with bringing a person to you to go to a church like he did me or may use family members to help you get through the obstacles in your life but your job is to LISTEN to them like I had too.they will guide you at times what you may to work on or what needs removing in your life you may feel awkward because you may start doing things you dont normally do in sin or bad things might start happening because the enemy the devil likes to persuade you to sin but quickly ask God to help you to rid that but at the same time you will also have a desire to know more about God word and the more you desire it and live for it the more you will desire God’s present and less of what you desire which is the fleshly things just keep hope in always staying connected to him in all areas of your life whether bad not going your way or good when all is well just remind yourself that once your enter a relationship with God you desire less sin and a more desire to please him it’s not easy to be a Christian but you can be rest assured that no matter what you are going through he will be there for you….you just have to ask him and he will answer you if you are sincere you have to be honest with God and to yourself and to others and always be humble when you come to him.in all areas of your life ….you can surely count on him…he will never let you down. Here is a tip be thankful to him he likes that. I hope you like this thanks!!

    • Marla, I wish that find God in your life, have peace with God and the fact that God only cares about God’s glory. I’ve been asking God for 40 years and only ever receive silence. I cry because of God’s absence in my existence. Without God getting directly involved (actually doing something) this existence isn’t worth the misery. I reach out to God everyday, and everyday is meet with silence. Why are we supposed to do everything and God does nothing. I gave myself to Jesus 40 years ago, nothing but misery since. Not one peep from God. I am on my second full day of complete fasting (no food or water). I plan to continue till God answers me. Bet I die before God does anything. As far as I am concerned God needs to act. God Bless You because He won’t bless me.

      • OMG Kenneth this sounds EXACTLY like me 31 years of complete silence from god for me too I agree if god won’t act then what’s the point? Like I WANT to believe in a loving god very badly but why the silence for SO LONG ya know? I am SO sorry for everything you have had to go through I wish it wasn’t like that for you!

  • I am 24 years old. I have a 2 yr old child. I just want to die. It’s so hard being a single mom. I grow up without a father and I never wanted that for my child. My emotions or so out of control. Right now am hating my child because I want my old life back I just want to be free.

    • Shanice,
      I know it has been a while since you posted. I hope things are going better for you. Please, allow me to tell you of my experience, maybe it will help:

      I was you–almost 50 years ago. I was left alone with a baby. I did what everyone said I should be doing, even my mother told me to do; yet, after I got pregnant, there was no one there. It was traumatic for me to end up pregnant, since I always thought that I should wait until marriage but was opposed in this view.

      I felt like this was a death sentence to me and was only eighteen years old and knew nothing about raising a child, especially on my own. I wanted a husband so that we could raise a child together but ended up all alone.

      I wish I could turn back time, because what I found out in time was that that period in my life was a blessing; yet, I did not enjoy it, always looking for a husband or family so that I would not be alone. I felt very incompetent.

      If I could do it again, of course I would wait until marriage but did not know that then (I became a Christian later.) Nevertheless, given the exact circumstances, since you cannot undo what is done, I would enjoy my child to the fullest, and I would not even be concerned about how to find a husband. That can come later in its own time if God wills.

      It can be very difficult to be married to someone with another man’s child. I also did this later, and it did not go well. As a result, I lost out on the time I could have had with my daughter and lost out on raising her and teaching her without distraction and abuse. I, and she, missed out.

      Now, she is gone and wants nothing to do with me. I have not had the opportunity to know my only grandchild, and the man who abused me and left us is in communication with my daughter and grandchild.

      Yes, I would to things differently. Please, enjoy your child. Put yours and your child’s safety and wellbeing first under the sheltering of God through faith in His Son, Jesus Christ.

      Not everything is rosy on the other side of someone else’s fence.

      Please give yourself permission to enjoy your and your child’s life.

      I really pray that some of these words help you.

      In sincerity,

      A Friend who had been there.

    • Hi Shanice,

      How are you? I hope all is well now? If you need someone to talk to and don’t mind connecting, I would be happy to speak and pray for you.

      Lots of love,
      A sister in the Lord

  • I have most of my life been unloved and used. I pray, cry out to my Lord. I am so tired of being tired and alone. I beg God, I don’t feel alone I am alone. Tired of begging taking leftovers and scraps. Tired of being a nothing.

    • I have been in a dark place too, where I felt unloved and alone. I hated myself and I asked God, “Why Me”. I wished I could see Jesus, feel Him physically and I realized I could feel Him. I could feel His presence, He was there with me. I suffered with the Lord, I thought about Jesus when He was crucified and He called, “Father, why have You forsaken me”. But we will never feel that pain of being forskaen by God, Jesus died for us, He experienced that pain to make preparation for our sins and so we never would have to. I consoled myself with knowing that the Last will be first in te Kingdom of Heaven. I love you and so does Jesus. Take care and BELIEVE.

  • I think the problem for most of us in our disappointment with God is that we have never experienced authentic community like the first few hundred years of Christianity, and that we have yet to understand the Bible is not some magic wand that if we just read it enough, pray with it enough, speak it enough supernatural events will occur. To the latter, the Bible seems to be more God acting in history to show the coming of the Messianic figure and therefore all its miracles, events, etc, are setting that up and then proving He was legitimate. So a lot of those miracle type things probably won’t happen anymore. But after He came, notice that the early ekklesias (churches) were often meeting one another’s needs on a daily basis. Rich believers sold their possessions and helped minister to the poor among them. People that could cook, cooked. People that had land or houses let other believers meet in those places. They did this because they were coming to ‘love’ one another selflessly, the greatest miracle of all. I don’t want to over idealize it, but most of us have never experienced that kind of daily interaction/community because we’ve grown up in a culture where the church is something you do or go to ‘x’ times a week and not who you are and are a part of moment by moment. The church for us is an information dump telling us three steps to this and five steps to that, but not a place where people come and spend hours of face to face time interacting, sharing, discussing, praying, helping. It’s come and sit on a pew/chair, face the front, sing songs by people we’ve never met (and thus can’t identify with their faces), listen to thirty plus minutes of sin management or pep talk or guilt trip, mindlessly give money and then go about our way, hardly interacting with anyone outside the place. It sets up a filtered view of who God is and how He meets needs. We are too individualistic and I think that’s why we suffer at some level. For those of you going through the ringer and the fire…I know, I’m there too. I’m not going to sugarcoat it and say just ‘pray’ more or ‘confess’ more or ‘read’ more. You’ve been doing all of those things. I’m not going to say just hang in there. Your spiritual fingers are cracked and calloused from doing just that. That would not be pouring oil and wine into your wounds to bind them up…but acid, burning them more and deeper. I’m just going to say let go of your expectations as to what and how you think God ‘meets’ needs and pray that God help you find authentic community where you can be helped, loved, and also help and love others. That’s what I’m seeking. I will also say that your suffering can change you for the better…and that’s why it hurts. Make no bones about it. Jesus said if you wanted to follow him there were going to be times it was tough as hell because that’s what this world is: the doorstep of hell. I feel for all of you but even if I could I wouldn’t change your situation (save for physical help like feeding you or paying a bill for you) totally: I want to see what God is up to in all of this myself…all this human suffering that He also endured…where does this all lead?

    • I am VERY interested in your version of church. Has anyone else reached out to you in an attempt to form a gathering/community/church?

  • Is not about want to die is I just dont want to be here the pain the sadnees is to much of god exist I want to be with him

  • I have severe mental illness issues. I’m not in a good place. My meds aren’t working anymore. I feel used and abandoned. I want God to take me home. I’ve lost 12 people in a year and a half. I’m so depressed I just don’t want to go on anymore. I’m tired. I’m just giving up. I want to go to pass peacefully in my sleep.

    • Hey dee
      Sorry your going through this, bless you
      Its hard i know trust in god and keep faith ask god to intervene in your life, and pray for healing.
      Prayers that being healing by John Eckhartd is a good book.
      Lord please bless Dee and help her though this hardship, shes lost alot of people and feels abandoned and lost jesus. I asking for you to fill that gap and to remove the depression and anxiety she is feeling and remind her lord exactly who you are and what you are capable of! I also pray for healing lord please direct her feet in the right path and surround her by your love and support
      In jesus name amen

  • I’m a Christian I want to die I want to go home and be with Jesus I just don’t want to be here anymore I want to go to a place where I am loved and there no pain no worries no stress and peaceful

    • I agree David. Life is so hard. I don’t know how to be a person, to love others. I just want to die. I pray to God to take me because I’m not brave enough to do it myself and when I did try it didn’t work.

      • Thats because jesus loves you and hes not ready for you to leave this world, even though this is a cruel world we are blessed.to live.
        Pray and ask god for forgiveness for attempting this i have had to do the same. Lean on his.word, read and meditate on God,fast and have faith.
        2 books i recommend prayers that bring healing
        And prayers that route demons(powerful prayers taken from scripture) both by John Evkhardt.
        I am praying for you sister
        Bless you in the name of jesus.

  • I want to die because I can’t take the constant hate. Yes,it’s racial. I love Jesus with everything I have,but I can’t take this anymore. No, I’m not black nor white. I have friends who are Christian’s make race statements. In church,too. Unless, it’s directed at you,you will never understand. I stay in my home because I can’t even take a walk in my own neighborhood. I once had someone try to run over me. I’m half white,half Japanese in the bible belt. When 911 happened,people thought I was middle eastern and it was horrible. Worse time in my life! Now with this coronavirus from China…well you know how people feel. Jesus has never left my side and I know that. I just want to be with Him and like one person stated where there is love. It’s not just the whites who are hateful, but it’s the blacks,too. You can’t claim to be a Christian and say “I’m not prejudice because I have a black friend “or visa versa. It’s not black and white anymore. You can’t claim to be a Christian if you have a tiny speck of hate in your heart. The only one who understands is Jesus and I want to be with Him.

    • Don’t throw your pearls before swine. MOVE. These “christians” are the ones Jesus does not know.Move somewhere where people love and appreciate you for who you are. I had to flee the place I was born because of “parent” terrorising me, and people shouting ab”use” because of “weight”. I pray you will find peace and joy. GOD bless you and give you happiness !!!

  • I feel like the world would be a better place without me in it. I have stuffed my life up to the point that it probably won’t ever get better again. Let people walk all over me, stand up for myself and suffer the consequences. In a relationship where the guy constantly taking my money, lies, cheats and hurts me on a regular basis. Tells me my family hate me. Have a job where they always remind you that you can be replaced no matter how hard you work. Feel very alone wish that God would strike me down as life is one disappointment after the next. Probably only any good for spare parts (organ donation)

    • Hi Debra, Feel exactly the same ,a Christian a long time, Evangelist and fully serving God in church and mercy ministry but i hate living and suffer with horrendous depression every day FOR 5 YEARS four suicide attempts among that period. I beg God to kill me and if he does not soon I will do it, I think it is cruel for God to let me EXIST like this really really cruel no healing in sight, So I fully understand all the bloggers in despair death is the only way for peace .

  • just breathe – put on EWTN, watch and read edifying things…..drink water, sleep enough, walk some, or stretch, find one thing to be greatful for (even if it is breathing)….learn a few quick prayers or verses – fill your mind – it will sink to your heart.

    We don’t know the big picture but have to have HOPE that there is a reason we are all here, at this point in time. Just like Jesus choice a certain point in time to break into history. He suffered more than we will ever understand or know – but He said “PIck up your Cross and follow Me” — that alone gives us hope that HE KNOWS and UNDERSTANDS all that we endure – He is our Big Brother who paved the path for us to Eternal bliss — just keep following (even if feel blind) – H,e’s there –
    and remember He respects our free Will – so you need to be the one to open your Heart & Mind & Soul to Him – “Jesus I Trust in You”. He LOVES YOU…

    • EWTN? That’s it? Watch catholic tv? The catholic church is a BIG part of the problem! Christmas, Easter and other heretical (un)holidays and teachings are what Rome has brought the world!

  • I had a terrible childhood; all I ever wanted was my own home and family. I had six kids. Sometimes life was hard, but we worked hard and raised them with love. Now I am old, have terrible back injuries, and our kids are living happily without us. Our old house needs major repair done and we have no help. I have prayed for 10 years for someone and God hasn’t answered. I hoped my son would help but he is using drugs again! It hurts to have sacrificed so much for your kids, and have them just walk away and not care if we live or die. My husband and I live in constant physical pain; the loneliness hurts even worse. We.need to have our house fixed! Please God, I just want to die. It hurts so bad. Why are kids so ungrateful? We need help. We miss our grandkids so much too.

    • Laurel,
      I am praying for you now. I hear the hurt you are in. Physical pain, loneliness, real practical issues. The God of the universe see you too. Do you know Jesus, as your Lord & Savior? I wish I could be there to fix your house. If it we’re possible my wife and I could have you over and talk, enjoy a meal together. My wife & I are Both 48 and Going through an impossible complex trial. It’s really painful. We have cried out to God and are waiting to see Him answer the promises He makes to His children. I’ll be praying for you in the coming days!

  • I am not useful to anyone . I don’t knw the purpose of being here in this life. I am not a good father, son and husband.

    I don’t have friends or family to who atleast think I do any useful. Should I live still ?

  • Yeah I’m not suicidal but I’m ready to go..I have worked hard for a better life but I feel cursed..just ready to check out of this physical and emotional pain

    • I hear u.Eric. This is me too. Not suicidal just wish this life would end now. I had a bad marriage for almost 30years n i stuck it through for my sons. One day after too much abuse i decided to quit. Divorce should be through within next 2 months yet i began process in January. Covid came n lock down made things worse. Imagine during lock down i fell in love. The guy is just such a blessing but he is married n i can’t do that. M so torn. I believe i shouldn’t be here. I’m tired of the loneliness. A house full of people n i was so lonely that i moved out. N i.can’t seem to find joy in my life. I can’t find happiness. Just depression. My job doesn’t even comfort me anymore. I pray that God comes through n saves me from living an empty life. I really don’t want to be here anymore. God forgive me

  • The Bible is about men written by men. Women do not and should not feel bound by this fairytale book that tells stories about men. There is no God. God doesn’t feel people’s pain. If it were true then a “good and loving” God would take the pain away. This whole world is a world just for males. It sucks. The Bible sucks. The god in the Bible sucks and it’s all about males. This human can’t wait for death. I hope I never have to be in some other world work males.

  • I dont think hell fire is a place. It isn’t a firey pit. It is a point in your life where you’re left alone to suffer. And this is what I thinknow God means when he said: “you will beg for death, but it will not come.”
    I’m only 16. I’m not ready for all the sadness my life is filled with. I am the most disgraceful human being on the planet, yet I don’t smoke, do drugs, date, commit crimes, etc. I’m just the son my parents never wished for. Sometimes I think of myself as a punishment for something my parents might have done in their past or something. Because there’s no way I’m just so much of a burden, and yet I cannot just die in my sleep and end my suffering. I can’t run away. And I can’t change and be a perfect child for more than a day without making a dumb mistake. I don’t want to wake up. My greatest wishits is that I sleep one night, and I do not wake up ever again. I want my parents to cry for a week or so, then forget about it and feel free. There is no more Chisom to make you regret giving birth. There is no more Chisom to disgrace the family, or get bad grades, or “raise his voice at you”, or anything. You can enjoy your life. My siblings will grow, and make you happy. They will become rich and buy you a mansion. They are the pefect kids, you should see them. Intellegent, social, every thing I am not. There is no purpose for my existence other than to be a burden. The day God lets me die, is the day my family will thank God and find peace.

    • Chrisom, it is painful to read your post. My heart breaks. I do not have words for all that you have going on. But, my heart does reach out to yours. I pray that you can know the unconditional love of a good Father, Father God. Do you know Jesus? He will cover, fill and uplift you in ways your family never can. I would love to talk to you more about this.

    • Chisom,
      I understand how you feel as I went through similar feelings growing up. I am a gay man and that is how God created me. Both my parents have passed on. My dad never accepted me and I never saw him the last 27 years of his life, he never even liked me. Mom on the other hand was an angel from heaven and although she didn’t completely accept me, we were very close. Imperfect is the way I describe us humans. Go forward with YOUR life as YOU need to and make the best life you can for yourself and hopefully someone you love. If anyone including your parents let you feel that you are the son they never wished for, then you need to move on and surround yourself with a chosen family that will love you as you are. Each one of us is unique and special. I have suffered a great deal of sadness in my life but I know that God loves me and I know He loves you. We may not find the answer to why we suffer until God answers that directly to us when we are in heaven. If I could ever give any valuable advice it would be this: Please don’t EVER give up on God. He is with you always and hurts when you hurt, God wants you to be happy. Ask God to take over your life, surrender to God. That may sound easy or silly or whatever but when you get to the lowest point and cannot make it anymore and you surrender to God and invite him into your body and soul and mind, He will help you. It may mean just a real long restful sleep, or a break that day when you didn’t expect it or someone saying something nice to you that lifted your day. Try to recognize the kindnesses that people share with you and you will see God working in your life. I wish for you a great life guy and hope that things will get better for you. God Bless you!

    • You are being emotionally terrorised. LEAVE. They will kill you otherwise. RUN !!! I am speaking from experience.

    • God is your true Father. You have God, who with faith can do all things. Lean on Him to know your real value, beyond what we know. You are not a punishment, but a gift. Stay strong. Peace be with you

    • Chisom, the universe or God sometimes has a torturous way of motivating people to do things. As long as you are forcibly stuck in this body, you’ll always be a slave. I’ve seen people in my life turn into monsters just because I was personally rather sedentary and not doing Gods wishes. As soon as I started moving again they returned to normal as if nothing had even happened. It can be a disgusting method God uses to motivate people. I honestly suggest you just leave. No matter how hard it will be, if God is driving you away from something then obviously it’s what God wants. I ran away from home many times and every time I returned it was the same shit. “Oh my god we’re so sorry it’ll never happen again.” and they treat me right for a little while. (Not to mention running away fulfilled the effort/suffering required of god, including excessive exercise, freezing, fear and other emotional response) Start slacking off and it’s back to the torment. It’s essentially slavery disguised as the “game of life”. But screw it man, you deserve better and if that means leaving/cutting off everyone who ever treats you like shit, you’re better off. Maybe then God will get its act together and start sending you better influences in your life and giving you endless love like we all deserve. That or you can always see if you can free yourself of your physical imprisonment. Love has no fear and God wishes you not to fear right? Besides, any God that imprisons, enslaves, or tortures in hell is the definition of evil. So you should be alright… or maybe we’ll see Gods true colors(as if they aren’t painted everywhere already) in the event that God isn’t “all loving”. At least you’ll know for sure.

  • So what is the answer. I am almost eighty. My sweet husband of almost 53 years has Alzheimer’s and fighting cancers. All military related. My once happy and full of love Home is empty. Everything has been taken away and I cannot understand it. Even a simple thing like eating, results in pain. Churches are now closed. We are alone, home bound. The loneliness is ……what, how do I describe it? I live because my husband needs me. I dread what is ahead for him. Watching him die slowly. He is here physically but the beautiful man I marriedis gone. Basically silent 24 hours a day. All my loving family has moved on without us and I do not understand why. I live in a retired park and see all the empty looking mobiles that surround me. I see them like giant coffins just wait for death to come. It is so painfully slow. I cannot concentrate to read, TV is off due to all the misery and evil it spews out. I know God is here, but why does he feel so far away. I look for comfort via religion and it has become one big money making joke. When churches were opened people left all their love at the church steps till the following day of worship. And to boot, the funniest of all is the church burnt down!!!!! How long will it continue this way. I pray for peace of mind. Strength to go on, but troubles seem unending. Stuff totally out of our control. I also pray for God’s mercy that my loved one and I leave together and whatever mode of death comes that it will be quickly. Dying in one’s sleep is truly a blessing that falls to only a very few group of people. Why, oh why, does God allow this world to continue in the state that it is in? When is Jesus going to fulfill His promise and come back for us? I long for death, or just peace of mind under my circumstances. I don’t desire wealth, not anything that belongs to this world. I only want peace of mind under the worse of circumstances, or give me death. Where tell me is God in all this?

    • Hi my lovely friend. I have no words to say except my thoughts are now with you constantly. Am 60 and sometimes have that feeling of not wanting to be around. I love God and whilst we all have trials in life, there are many who’s trials are just endless yet they’re told God has a plan for their lives and also have to endure constantly hearing about their sins and how they’ll be punished forever if they aren’t saved or believe in God even if they have the biggest softest heart in the world. A person can do bad all their life, then at their death bed give their life to God and be saved, whilst a person who’s done good most of their life will suffer forever if they don’t believe. What about the millions who’ve been raised in a way to not believe and also go through trials most of their life or the millions who aren’t mocking God, they just genuinely don’t know if there’s a God, what happens to them. God is real an am certain he won’t punish anyone who simply doesn’t know or not had the word revealed to them. Stay blessed. Best wishes

  • you are so right i pray to God every night to die in my sleep i beg him to let me die in my sleep from being molested when i was a child to beat on by a 2 by 4 ..

  • Hello Lost,

    I am sorry for the pain and suffering you are going through. I know it sounds strange but reading your words, show me what a beautiful and caring soul you are. The world we live in today has changed in general for the worst, I agree completely with you. You say you are married 53 years. If it’s any source of comfort, I bet most of that time had more good memories than bad. Try and keep them in mind. Believe me, I envy you that you lived in more caring, civilised times when there was more respect and love for each other. I’m 44 and seen the disintegration of this world especially in the last 20 years. Unfortunately, I disintegrated as a person in that time too. I lost my way, my soul you could say. All my fault due to bad decision making. In a good way I envy your beautiful soul. I wish you nothing but comfort, hope and blessings.Try and keep strong BEAUTIFUL SOUL. The world is blessed for having you in it.

  • I just lost my beautiful 29 year old son suddenly 2-16-20. I lost my mom to suicide at 21 and my dad to colon cancer 15 years ago. The pain of losing a child is indescribable. Im not mad at God. I just want to go to Heaven to be with my son. I cry every day.

    • I guess from reading we are all battling something and life is so hard I lost my mom to Lung Cancer .Watched her die like a animal and 15 years later I still Just want to die and be with her .Im 41 and met my husband when I was 36 and we can’t have children and it breaks my heart just had 3 failed IVF rounds I have no purpose Please god take me.I tell my husband just to leave I will never be happy without a child to love All my dreams shattered..

  • Hearing everyone’s stories makes my heart go out to each of you, I now know too that I’m not the only one feeling this way. I woke the other morning feeling like all I could do was to breathe. I don’t want to wake, get up or do anything else. I also think of dying & wanting the Lord to return quickly. With all the pain & suffering in this world, my own life too since the day I was born. I pray, stay close to God, read my Bible, but I still feel this way & like there is nothing I can do about the things in my family’s life that are so wrong. It hurts so much. :(…….

  • Hearing everyone’s stories makes my heart go out to each of you, I now know too that I’m not the only one feeling this way. I woke the other morning feeling like all I could do was to breathe. I don’t want to wake, get up or do anything else. I also think of dying & wanting the Lord to return quickly. With all the pain & suffering in this world, my own life too since the day I was born. I pray, stay close to God, read my Bible, but I still feel this way & like there is nothing I can do about the things in my family’s life that are so wrong. It hurts so much. ?

  • LOL, God listens or he entirely forsakes mankind. Most people pray to God in times of need and most if NOT all the time he forsakes them. Only a few people have faith in religion or “God”. Evil and greedy people prosper all the time. If there is “God”, he will not reward evil, unless he/she is evil. Btw, I am not an atheist.

    • James you make a very good point! I have seen good people suffer SUPER horribly and god has never helped them and I have seen evil people get pampered and rewarded and this has bothered me big time! Like I would LOVE to believe in a loving god but I just don’t really know what to think anymore

  • I just read many of these comments here. I was hoping to found a comment that would end this feeling of wanting to die. I think maybe I’m just not trying hard enough to wait on God. God is slow. But I also feel like I need to find a place in the bible that is the answer just for me. I’ve had a hard time all my life. I won’t be specific but I sometimes don’t feel I belong or loved or even likable. So I went online to find some answers to what I should do next. I feel like nobody really wants to die, they just want to get out of the pain they’re in. That what I feel for myself. At this point, I just want to be able to take care of myself. But not being able to do that on my own, I feel stuck. Because I can live without friendship, been doing that most of my life. My family is growing away from me. And although I wished I wasn’t born, I’m here and I just want some peace. Some days I hate everything and some days I want things to change. Right now, I just want to run away from where I am to find that peace I so need. So my quest is to find the prayer I need to pray to God to help me find peace. I’m afraid to die. I don’t know what’s on the other side of that. If I did, I would go to death. I just don’t know why I still here.

    • The fastest and easiest way to be purified enough for going back home to Godhead, hopefully right after we quit this current body, is to chant the Holy Names of the Lord. And this is all I ask of you, that you please take this mantra and just chant;

      Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare

      My heart hurts for all of you great people here with so much pain. I also believe in Christ, having grown up in that background, but the bible doesn’t have answers for everything unlike vedas describe god and our eternal relationship with him in every minute and scientific detail.

      Of course you can follow Jesus since he was a pure servant of god with genuine teachings, but you have to precisely follow everything he taught. There is no contradiction besides what the church has distorted, watered down and doesn’t teach, therefore also I wish to serve Jesus and his one and only Lord.

    • Hi Mo ❤️‼️. I do. I get it ..but.. im done.. raised my family.. an NoW Grand an Great children.. but. aLone 😢 where are they… I’m 70..pain.. empTy..
      Y. B. heRe. I ask. Let my beautiful SOUL.. b reincarnated..an share HiS name an love ‼️❓‼️🥀
      God bless you and your family an friends all ppl u share Life
      with 🥀. 💋 neXt… PraY 🙏🏼 praying 2024… Well b. beTTer 🙏🏼‼️🙏🏼‼️🙏🏼‼️💋💋 TanXz 💜

  • I feel the same. God is there for other people but not for me. From my childhood I was rejected by my parents, sexually molested, my brothers and sisters hated me. Really crappy children and as a result I see myself as this ugly thing that should even being born.
    I have being trying so hard to be a child of God, but He is so distant. My life is falling apart, I lost my job at age 55, because I am a white person. I have absolute nobody I can turn to. I must sell my house now, and again I’m losing everything. I have a daughter but she doesn’t care. Her family is her husband and kids. I want to tell my heart… start beating again… live… love… enjoy life. But it is impossible.

  • Everyday I try to just come to a place of just being happy. Nobody wants me to just be at peace. I have had someone to totally hurt me and they just couldn’t bring themselves into just leaving me totally alone i did stay out of the way and raised my kids alone without the extra help and struggle. Now that I am grown over 35 and seeing that my kids need a leader they want to quit school and I went back to show them how easy life can be with them knowing the knowledge is best they trying I am gonna always be there to show them a better route to continue to hold they head up pray and love god. I am a mistake and I can not tell myself that I ain’t. I want a life to where I am not bothering others who I feel hate me in some way. So many other peoples is helping those who know that I ain’t worth god punishing them or seeing the faults they have done towards someone like me. I have been on watch for 72 hours four different times. And my next step is leaving my kids desserted so others can be ok with that me “the problem” is gone forever. I have nobody who can just see and listen to me and allow them to just know I’m not “a problem” but someone else is towards me so giving up is what I can only have as a idea.
    I have read what you said and I love it! I cried uncontrollably when I just listen to myself reading what you have stated. I am amazed I did it again and this time I didn’t cry. I am typing some of the abuse I went thru and what I am Listening to or have listen to and started back feel very down. I just want to stay away from totally everybody until I have to go and talk to someone who is concerned about my kids regardless of what it is but only the ones who is they doctor teacher or have legal rights of which who need me to help them to support they decision about what ever the matter is at the time. I’m sorry for being a woman who isn’t quite loving life right now and depressed. And still forced to listen to who ever this is tryna make me not focus on what I want to say in this comment.
    I want to thank you for this article of true advice. And when i am in a shadow of despair i will come back to it and read it again until i feel as if god himself is my only to hear my thought..if no one told you i want to tell you..I LOVE YOU

  • I just don’t think you can understand the darkness/despair of chronic pain, negative bank balance again&children struggling this way and that..You had a very tough time but I look at your picture, granted no one really is totally the person they put forward on social media etc., but you look functioning. I don’t feel like I could pull that off plus I’ve had years upon years upon piles and piles of suffering yet I know that there many blessings around me…I need to look for them, of course but my point is you lay out your credibility with postpartum depression, then the 3 point list that gives a sorta to do lists. Your ending was excellent as well suggesting God is waiting for us and by talking to Him we can begin to come thru this difficult time.I love the Lord but I am done. I pray all day every day that He will take me home. But I feel like of course not. I feel terrible saying this but people talk about things they learned thru a time of suffering..what if it is all suffering? Again, I recognize that I can see blessings around me but with constant pain, very little money and family challenges plus other issues, it is almost a joke at church or the kids’ school bc we have so much going “wrong” . Can’t He just take me home? I just want to be done. I am a terrible mother when I feel like this and it would be better for everyone if the Lord just took me home.

  • Dear Abby,

    This is an extremely well considered, gentle and empowering post and I thank you warmly for sharing. We none of us truly know what god has in store for us, lives can be kind and they can also be immensely dreadful too. Still in terms of our souls journey all life experiences are the workings of god. Therein; we must do the inner work as the gospels and the great saints e.g. St Teresa of Avila and st John of the cross et al., show by example. Not an easy journey for it is filled with many monsters and much darkness at times. Still the son of man is and was our example and better chance do we have for his deeply unfathomable suffering and sacrifice for our eternal souls. Be well, always !

  • Well, good for Elija and Jonah. That does not make me feel any different. That was then, the story does not inspire me. I can’t walk, I’m in prison oF my body.
    I’m 68, bed ridden,. My hands are useless as is the rest of me. So, I pray to die every Night. What’s the point of this suffering? I have no purpose. My prayers for others are answered. But my prayers for me I don’t hear or feel anything from God. I hate this life and “positive thinking” does nothing but make other people think you are ok. So, what? Have faith, ok. I still want out of my life.c

    • Jan I am SO sorry you are in that situation it sucks! I am not in the exact same situation as yours but also a very crappy one and I completely agree with everything you have said what is the point of extreme suffering? I would personally rather just die than live my horrible life. The whole positive thinking thing that society likes to spew down our throats is SO obnoxious like OK It might work for SOME situations but not ALL and I’m tired of people who do not have to deal with chronic extreme suffering chastising and telling people off who OBVIOUSLY have it WAY worse than them for not “thinking positive” it’s JUST nasty and it just feels like they don’t even care and just don’t want to be bothered when they tell you off for not being “positive enough” when they themselves have not even been in your shoes your right all it Does is make people think your ok when your not….great….awesome. I also feel nothing from god and wish I could just die I’m so sorry your trapped in a similar situation it really sucks!

  • Standing in one spot shows complacency. I’m sorry but you will never be waiting on God… You have a short amount of time on this Earth, He has forever… God does not want us to stay in our comfort zone! So if you are standing in one spot in what is comfortable for you waiting on God then you will be waiting there forever. He wants you to break out of your comfort zone, He wants you to step into the unknown. Step out into your faith and He will support you, it’s not the other way around! I struggle in my relationship with God every single day. Every single day!! I’ve cursed Him and called Him names and even called Him out. Yes I called upon Him to show up and face me!!! And He sure as hell is real He did. He showed up!! Pinned me to the ground for a couple days actually… I just cried and peed myself in one spot for 2 days. Sweating and freezing and no strength, no energy, I didn’t eat, I didn’t sleep, etc. I was literally wasting away just laying there. That’s when I finally asked God what He wanted, what was the point of all this!? That’s when I kinda heard a voice in my conscience that said “open your Bible”. Till this day I still can’t remember the scripture so forgive me but I’ll never forget what I read… Basically that we don’t rest unless God allows us to rest, we don’t eat unless God allows us to eat, we have absolutely no strength unless God gives us strength, everything we take for granted is because God allows it. He gives you breath!!! He gives you rest!! He gives you hunger!! He gives you thirst!! He gives you strength!! God happily gives you all that and can account for every single hair on your head and you’re going to think He made a mistake in creating you? That wouldn’t make sense. We are all limited edition, one of a kind. There will never ever be another you! Never!! So please don’t ruin something so rare and precious!!

  • i can only remember a few days in my life when i didnt pray to die and only because i forgot. my life is not horrible its just that it has never been fun. well seldom fun. so tired of this but 60 years later i am still here. it is gods will that i am here. not mine. and someday? someday i want to go home.

  • I feel the same way as Richard. My looks don’t bother me but I wake up every day for years begging God for my death but it never comes.

    I go out of my way to help others I don’t even know no matter how bad I feel inside. Yet people could care less about me. I don’t see any reason to exist. No matter what I do it never gets better. Could pray all day everyday and it stays the same. If he hates me so much then why doesn’t he just kill me.

    Then I see these people that are young or have a good life with some terminal disease, all they want is to live and be with their families another day. God please take me in their place!

    • God cares and loves us, am a living with ness to that. I have been sick for the past 1month and a week now, from One sickness to another, sometimes I feel like giving up but if I remember God’s promises it fuels my faith and trust in him,, though am not fully recovered but I know I will get there some day. Pls don’t lose hope. God is at work in you life

  • I have the same question Daniel. The only time I’m happy is when I’m in a dangerous situation with a wild animal or Tornado. In those moments I am truly alive! The only time I’m at peace is when I’m asleep. It sucks living like this for so long.

    I see a psychiatrist/ psychologist regularly and have taken and continue to take their medication. It doesn’t stop it.

    I’m thankful my family and relatives are all healthy but I’m ready for God to take me.

    • I am so sorry Calvin I feel the same way I have severe autism no way to cure it and zero quality of life I feel dead inside no way to get better and I want to die I feel like I won some sort of demented lottery from hell having to be born and lately someone I know who LOVED there life and had SO much meaning to there life and was a great person passed away and I just ask myself why? WHY couldn’t I HAVE DIED INSTEAD I want it SOOOO BAAAD! And this person did NOT and her family did NOT like what is going on here?! I don’t understand it at all! I tell god to take me ALL THE TIME and he won’t but he took her?! like WHY?! 🙁

  • I just want it all to end, i have had a terrible life, severally raped as a child, grew up without love, at age 10 I was told by my Sunday school teacher that God don’t love you if you are not a virgin, I felt dirty and out of place of God’s perfect children, i attempted sucide and prayed everyday that I die, because i was not enough, my mum never liked me, I worked hard to get an education because my father never sponsored my education, I thought life will be better. I love God so much and hoped he would love me some day. The stories in the Bible inspired me so much. 20 years later my life is a living hell, no job, no money, 6 relationship/marriage disappointment my parents feel disappointed at me, my younger siblings call me a failure and physically attack me. I still refuse to curse God, all I ask all these years is for me to please die, I don’t think I am asking God for much, please let me die and have peace, let my soul have peace. I don’t think that’s asking for much. I just need to die and find peace.

    • God can grant us peace in this life, calm in the midst of all the storms. With faith, anything is possible. I’m sorry to hear about your situation, I am sure He will find a way. Praying for you. Hope it gets better. Shalom

  • I have many things going well for me, but I miss a friend. When I think about how much I miss them I think negatively about myself and want God to take my life. I feel like something is just wrong with me to have these thoughts. I don’t know what to do. I want to feel better, but I feel like I keep getting pulled back.

    I feel like a mess up and I am stuck. Life is passing me by, and I won’t get to see/experience the friend I had. This makes me not want to live.

  • I want to die. I ask God every night to let me die in my sleep. The suicide attempts were failures just like me. My daughter hates me. My sons are indifferent to me and my husband doesn’t want to hear it. I just don’t want to wake up anymore

  • I just want to end it because my life isn’t worth living…I have prayed for 2years without answers and things aren’t changing..I tired and weary

    • I am SO sorry Gladys I want to die too I am tired and weary too I can’t believe I am even still alive and not happy about it at all!

  • I’m 41years old and I adore God and I am struggling I was in a Coma at the prime of my life at 35 and went to a dark place for 23 days inside this Coma it was so horrible when I awoke after finding out my dad died an hour before I awoke my wife started out being my rock then the PTSD kicked in from the tramatic Coma nighterror and then I found out my lungs are shot I now how COPD do to being ventilated for 23 days my wife bailed on me now I am lost all I have is God but I’m so alone I want to be with him now nobody deserves to be isolated it’s about as close to hell I think you can get.

    • I really don’t know what to say but I’m very sorry that you are going through so much. Being isolated and sick or forgotten is Hell. I will pray for you and all of us.

  • I am reading these comments and it breaks my heart. To whoever may be reading this, I understand. God is not a liar, correct? So if God says that YOU, yes.. you, are wonderfully and fearfully made (Psalm 139:14), do you believe in Him? Jesus is the truth and He does not lie. If God says He loves you, trust me He does. The Bible says that your past mistakes do not define you. I have struggled with depression and suicide for a bit. I have suffered demonic and satanic attacks, friends left, family turned away, grades failing, etc. Every single man may leave, but the I AM Most High God.. The Creator of everything and everyone pays attention to YOU.. then that is amazing. So my friend, I say don’t lose your hope because God will NOT lose you. Your body is the temple of Christ, glorify God in it. Your feelings are always going to upset you, just because it FEELS like God is gone, has left you alone, like there’s is no hope.. those feelings are not true. Look to what God and His word says, not your feelings. You aren’t ugly, stupid, an idiot, a loser, no.. you are a child of GOD and nobody, NOBODY, can EVER take that away from you. Listen whoever you are, I know how it feels to want it to end. But it is only the beginning, God has much more work to do with and on you. God bless you:)

  • pure bull
    ive Tried everything…and nothing was right…7 years ago i was close…someone opened the door and found me that way..i wish she never did n let me Die..

  • everything ive tried has come to a failure…in 6 months i will have completed what i set out for…i failed the first time..this time I won’t…

  • Seems like there are a great many people in this world that are desperate for God to show up, offer some form of assistance…hope, love, compassion. Yet for all this wishing for God to be there… nothing happens, no “doors open”, no peace is found, no burdens have been lifted.
    I’m just this guy, nothing special, I don’t expect anything special: However He is God and he has promised peace, hope….
    When i’m absolutely laying on the floor face down offering up my life to Christ… no relief comes, no doors no hope, no peace only the never ending (since i was a little boy) self hate, never being enough, and no clear path to serve God… Death would at least be a change from those awful existence!

  • i am 74 years old still working to keep busy .i lost my wife sudden from a brain aneurysm while i was at work she was in a coma for three days we were married for 25 years and had a son who found her.i spent three days watching her in a coma till she was declared brain dead.i have been to grief people support groups they never helped i really want to die i am tired no one knows how i feel i have kept this inside of me since my wife died two of my brothers have died since my wife died my son is married and lives an hour from me no one knows how i feel i don’t want to kill myself i just want die natural i keep myself in good shape i don’t why.i just want to be with her again we were like a single person years come and go and i feel it should have never should been like this i worked hard all these years so we could have fun in our old ages but it wasn’t mean’t to be question WHY?

  • Saying it will work out is trite and meaningless to the person walking in the desert, especially when it has been years.
    I am a Christian and have been for many years but it does feel like God has abandoned some of us at least for a time.
    There is no easy answer or explanation that makes things better or easier to get through it.
    Accepting where God has us and surrendering to Him in humility is what I am doing-but it is excruciatingly painful. My heart goes out to each of you who are struggling. I pray God one day soon turn His favor upon you and lead you out of the desert and give you the desires of your heart.

  • I am in this position,I have tried my best to work so hard in school got my bachelor degree and my master’s degree. It’s has been five years now without any good job or stable income,am practically jobless still leaving with my mom at the age of 28.I have prayed and prayed but never got any good job nor stable income.I feel like a burden to my mom.I feel useless.I don’t have any purpose in this world,I keep asking God why am here everyday.I experience disrespect from members of the family,even from my own younger sister who is supposed to respect me.I don’t have friends anymore because it is hard to include me since i don’t fit in with them anymore.I feel betrayed and despised.I don’t have a boyfriend since dating is also hard when all you do is stay home and have nothing interesting to bring to the table.No one finds me interesting.

    I keep a smile on my face for my mom to see,but I cry myself to sleep almost every day.I am TIRED!!I can’t find the energy to pray anymore since I feel the prayers don’t work.I don’t go to church anymore,my mom complains about this so often.I keep promising her that i will go with her the next sunday and I still don’t go.

    Sometimes I will listen to some praise and worship songs.But most of the times I will listen to them while telling God “why?”.

    Yes i’m tired too.I pray you find comfort.

    I only wish to die,since every day I wake up I wish I didn’t exist.I feel so much pain.I only want God to give me a blameless death.That I may die to go be with Him,to be in heaven praising Him with the angels.I don’t see anything else for me here.I feel bad that this will bring so much pain to my mother.Since she has worked so hard as a single mother to provide for me and pay for my education.Our father died when I was 4,since then she has worked so hard to make sure we are all covered.She is a woman of God.

    Sometimes I ask God to bless me just for her sake,I may not deserve it.But atleast she deserves to see her hard work paying off.

    Am tired of waiting for his will or purpose..I don’t see anything for me.I have lost all hope.

    My mum still pays for my short courses and some exams Certification which I hardly prepare for.I don’t feel motivated anymore.

    God bless you all,as He sees fit

    Was great sharing this here

    I found it after I searched google for how to ask God for death

    • I’m in this position,I have tried my best to work so hard in school got my bachelor degree and master’s degree. It’s has been five years now without any good job or stable income,am practically jobless still living with my mom at the age of 28.I have prayed and prayed but never got any good job nor stable income.I feel like a burden to my mom.I feel useless.I don’t have any purpose in this world,I keep asking God why am here everyday.I experience disrespect from members of the family,even from my own younger sister who is supposed to respect me.I don’t have friends anymore because it is hard for them to include me since i don’t fit in with them anymore.I feel betrayed and despised.I don’t have a boyfriend since dating is also hard when all you do is stay home and have nothing interesting to bring to the table.No one finds me interesting.

      I keep a smile on my face for my mom to see,but I cry myself to sleep almost every day.I am TIRED!!I can’t find the energy to pray anymore since I feel the prayers don’t work.I don’t go to church anymore,my mom complains about this so often.I keep promising her that i will go with her the next sunday and I still don’t go.

      Sometimes I will listen to some praise and worship songs.But most of the times I will listen to them while telling God “why?”.

      Yes i’m tired too.I pray you find comfort.

      I only wish to die,since every day I wake up I wish I didn’t exist.I feel so much pain.I only want God to give me a blameless death.That I may die to go be with Him,to be in heaven praising Him with the angels.I don’t see anything else for me here.I feel bad that this will bring so much pain to my mother.Since she has worked so hard as a single mother to provide for me and pay for my education.Our father died when I was 4,since then she has worked so hard to make sure we are all covered.She is a woman of God.

      Sometimes I ask God to bless me just for her sake,I may not deserve it.But atleast she deserves to see her hard work paying off.

      Am tired of waiting for his will or purpose..I don’t see anything for me.I have lost all hope.

      My mum still pays for my short courses and some exams Certification which I hardly prepare for.I don’t feel motivated anymore.

      God bless you all,as He sees fit

      Was great sharing this here

      I found it after I searched google for how to ask God for death

      • God does have a specific will for your life decisions. Please watch Dr. Charles Stanley’s video on YouTube called The Believer’s War Room. We need a quiet, private place to pray. Jesus even tells us so in Matthew 6:6. And after we pray, we ought to remain in silence, because prayer is a dialogue.

        Prayed for you!

  • I’m so tired already.. I can’t take this pain anymore I pray almost everyday for god to take me because I’m too much of a coward to do it myself I’m so thankful for all the blessings he’s done for me but this pain is just too much and I’m too embarrassed to tell anyone, I’ve been suicidal for 4 years and have problems with my head it’s so evil I just want to put an end to this thinking. God has saved me from the street life and helped me dodge death many many times I just don’t understand why he won’t let me go that’s my only wish 🙁

    • You spoke my language. I feel you. 15 years of street life got me. I try making it but always go back. Do doctor can fix this. No help available on this planet for our thoughts. Crazy world

    • I hear what your saying the pain is too much sometimes its hard to breath. Your not alone remember that, have you tried fasting? Fasting for 7 days is a good start even you can only do 3 the lord will see your heart.The enemy will put these suicidal thoughts in your head because hes a liar and deciever but God is far more powerful and there is a bigger plan we just can see it.
      Try this book
      “Prayers that rout demons” and everytime you get a thought read the verses. It helped me
      Also “prayers that bring healing ” bothe books are by Johm Eckhardt.
      God bless

      • Fasting for 7 days? Are you nuts? The longest I’ve gone is 67.5 hours! My blood sugar was way off for a couple weeks after! And I’ve fasted MANY times! Our modern lifestyle makes 7 day fasts very precarious! The devil made sure of that. It can be done, but NOT without building up to that. That would take a couple of years of regular fasting to train the body.

  • Man!!! I didn’t know so many people feel like this.
    I keep doing the same sin over and over and keep hurting my family so much and so long. I feel the pain of my actions but do them anyway. Obviously because I can’t stand my guilt and my physical problems. But my family keep loving me and helping me and that’s the only reason why I’m still trying and living. They want me happy and do good but I ain’t happy here. I don’t like this world no more. That’s my problem. Always living for people never for me. I brake good people’s hearts. I see people dieing around all the time but I always stay alive. It’s crazy to be like this so early. Anyway. Unless I know I ain’t alone.

  • It also says “all who call on the Lord shall be saved”, in your reference to those who say they do things for God but God says “depart from me for I never knew you, you workers of iniquity” Please look up iniquity …these are bad people who never really knew God. I understand the frustration but don’t make it sound like hardly anyone is going to heaven, I mean this nicely too…….I am frustrated and angry too but God does love us and this life can be hard.

  • We are here for a reason we have a purpous and it goes beyond our image, i also want to die but the lord has a plan we do not know and we pray for strength wisdom courage love and rebuke the enemy and doubtful thoughts. Im praying for all of you x

  • I just can’t wait to die. The best thingGod can do for me now if he truly does love me is to take my soul, I need to die!!!!!

  • If God truly loves us he should have given us choices- to live or to die!!!!
    I do not see a reason to be alive, my life is all gloom right now, I so very wish I was dead.. life is hard, meaningless and nothingness to me, I am over 50yrs and have nothing! No worth, no children, no husband and no job!!! It’s just a waste, yes I don’t believe God loves everyone , God created some losers for his glory period! I do not believe he loves and forgives all! He has his chosen and his scapegoats. I so wanna die !!!

  • the way I see it. the reason for all this confusion regarding God is because of seeing god external of yourself. Do you want uncomfortable things happen to you? then neither does god. Do you want yourself to suffer? Neither does god. Because you and god are the same. Only you are just a faint and partial expression of his complete self. The only question you should ask is how can I solidy this dimness so I can manifest more of true god’s bright quality. The answer lies through all of your sufferings and no other way. If you are covered in dirt, there is no way to lose the foul odour until you get a wash. So all sins will have to be washed off in time and you have to be patient and accepting of them because they are your own sins. You have to be content and grateful for the wisdom and oppurtunity to wash them off and in time become renewed again. Just learn your lessons through this life, introspect , repent and do not repeat some of the mistakes made not only in this but also previous lives for which many of us are suffering. God speed and may the good lord quicken our spirits.

  • I’m in the same position as alot of you are, my life has not gone good for the most of it. I’m 50yrs old & have had enough, I’ve got angry with God I’ve pleaded with God I’ve begged God, & I’ve never felt God was beside me. Well I’ve been shown the way, I’ve seen & talked to God, he does reach his limits with us as well, he has told me I can’t be helped, I’m not worthy & has encouraged me to end it all, follow thru on what I feel because it is the only thing that will stop my pain. He can’t be there for all of us all the time&this lightens his load to help the ones worthy of his help. If we are not good enough to be allowed thru those gates, there’s no reason for us to be here at all. Therefore the loss of us does not matter we were just here to fill the space.

  • I am a forty-seven year old man, soon to be forty-eight, and I want to die. It’s all I think about anymore. I am a husband and father to two young girls – ages two and seven – and I guarantee they will be better off without me.

    I am angry all of the time. Any little thing will set me off. Over the past couple of days I have started punching myself as hard as I can, as many times as I can stand it, leaving bad bruises on my stomach and outer thighs. Yesterday I repeatedly punched myself on the left hand side of my neck so hard that it gave me a massive headache for the rest of the day. It felt good, that headache, like I deserved it for being the piece of garbage I am.

    I am a failure in every regard. As a husband and a father. I am not happy. I haven’t been for a very long time. I still believe in God, but I don’t want to. If I was certain there was nothing beyond this then I would have ended this farce without hesitation a long time ago. As it stands, I’m probably going to anyway. Just working up the courage to do so.

    You say life is a gift, but I never asked for this. I didn’t beg to be born. I have spent forty-seven years here, and that’s at least thirty too long. You say to hang in there. It gets better. I’m here to tell you that it doesn’t. I’ve been here before, but I’ve always held off pulling the proverbial “trigger” on the hopes that my life would improve. It never has. Think it’s high time I buck up and take the plunge.

    I just want to cease being. I am tired of being me. So. Fucking. Tired.

  • We don’t know why Jesus waited three days before going to help Lazarus,but we know that He loved Lazarus, and we know that God got the glory.
    Please hold on believers.

    • We DO know why Jesus waited. Do you not read the Bible? John 11:42 says exactly why. As for the rest of your post; I’m not suicidal, nor do I think most here wishing for death are either. The denominational churches have failed God absolutely and totally. The denominational churches brought in false teachings (christmas, easter, the tetragrammaton, etc. DO the research for yourself, false teachings are more than the “prosperity gospel”), thereby cursing themselves and any/all who continue in them. There are ONLY 3 ways for relief as posted by another; we die somehow/someway, Jesus heals us, or Jesus returns. Period. End of story. This isn’t about faith. This isn’t about doubt. This is about the denominational churches and the blasphemy and heresy they brought in and allowed to fester and grow. The evil they allowed AND ignorantly encourage has cursed us all. I want to live. I want others to live too. Ask 12 people their thoughts/beliefs/interpretations about the Bible, get 12 different answers. Some may have a commonality with others, most won’t. Jesus is the ONLY way and until He returns and sets things right, I cannot pray any more (2 John 1:11) as only God knows who really is wicked and who isn’t (1 Tim. 5:22). The devil surely has corrupted the entire planet and all of mankind (myself included) enough to the point of making prayers uselessly hindered (Luke 13:1) because now NO ONE is righteous (Romans 3:23).

  • What about when God don’t give a damn About how you feel It don’t Matter about how much Faith you have he still won’t help you My life was destroyed by a lie I prayed for his help I believe with every fiber of my being That he would help me 16 years later he still silent Now I beg him for death And he won’t even answer that why shouldn’t I kill myself

    • sorry to break it to you, but god is not real, so youre the one who should help yourself. believing in god just makes things worse.. so i hope you get through it:(

  • I have experienced and still do several of what people are saying in the comments. Some of what helps me and consistently have to be reminded over and over…
    -Jesus DECIDED to go through THE WORST AGONY EVER that for us as individuals. He knew what He was in for but He still decided to go through all of that for each of us…So He’s already proved that He loves us.
    -Ive gone through do much but not what He went through.
    -Paul killed many Christians, but God still forgave him and used Him.
    -God cannot lie so I decide constantly that I am going to believe and trust Him. Continue to read, talk to Him about EVERYTHING.
    -Its ok to see a doctor for your mind. You see a doctor for every other part of your body. And change doctors until you find the right one.
    -Lies are the devil’s specialty. Counter that by reading the Bible in a version you can understand like the “easy to read” version or english standard” version.
    -my sister is truthful but not judgemental and sympathetic. People do care and will listen.
    -Watch shows that are funny. Listen to positive music. I have to FORCE myself to do things that are good for me and sometimes it seems I have no strength at all , but most times I manage to. I know it’s God helping me where I am.
    -Its not so much about a feeling but more like knowing and believing.
    -i remember that’s it’s normal for my flesh to give me a hard time when doing the right thing. God said this in His Word.
    -when I have bad dreams that overwhelm me or I get that overwhelming dread, I make myself read the Word.
    WE ALL NEED HIS HELP AND HE USES PEOPLE , DOCTORS, SIPIRITUAL GIFTS TO HELP US. JUST KEEP READING, PRAYING AND FIGHTING FOR EACH OTHER.

    • There are NO spiritual gifts left (1 Cor. 13:8). Why? The denominational churches quenched the fire of God’s Spirit by allowing heresies and blasphemous teachings to infiltrate and grow (christmas, easter, the tetragrammaton, “prosperity gospel”, etc.). Even prayers are hindered (at best) or useless (2 John 1:11 and Romans 3:23- the devil has corrupted the Earth and humanity to the point where there are no righteous ones left- we MUST wait for HIS release).

  • I know there is a God. I know Jesus is Lord. I do believe I’m loved, yet I don’t feel loved. I can understand those who suffering as I am. Yet I cook everyday and feed those whom are hungry. Cooking is one of my gifts. Understand something growing up most parents will put gear in a child about God. And some recite versus wrong with the wrong understanding. I’m not materialistic , I give from my heart without expectations. I’m finding out alot about boundaries and doing for myself. In my life I buried two children , my daughter taken by the hand of a family member and of the church, my son by doctors and making me to believe otherwise. With both of these tragic events to also have my last child, a boy taken to cover up their mistakes and to humiliate me and lie. I prayed I cried and I was angry. To find out 15 years later from a Judicial Commission, my former Judge that I was not at fault. I thought to myself , wow ? But nothing can be done. I wanted to just throw in the towel. As of today I’m confused and I’m going to school. Moving forward is confusing. I’m living here in a bad area trying to set good examples, make a difference. Okay that’s good, yet my heart aches, and important as my prayer is I know it’s in Gods time. I talk to him and sometimes I’m angry, frustrated. Yet I still will feed someone or many each day. Am I here for just that? I ask and no answer. God help those who can’t help themselves. That is the saying. Help themselves in what way? Life is a gift I know. What does God want me to do? Am I putting too much on me? Are my expectations of how I’m to be in God’s eyes. Nevertheless how to keep more in faith ? When I see nothing but death around me? Depressing it is but I thank him for my blessings. So explain something else, prayer for change or help with the change to better myself, not money, school and i feel that asking God for that help i feel that if I ask and God already knows, and I keep asking, and no help with it should it just be left alone because I dont deserve it or it’s not time or I God has a better way. ? As for something simple and this may be stupid, but I ordered a laptop for school and I need it now. It’s been 10 days, they just shipped yesterday and school has started, I’m behind in homework and I am anxious and I hate being behind. I’m trying to understand. But God seems to be like this delivery man always late. I’m sure there is an answer for everything. Still I feel so lost and empty. So dont feel you have to get me to feel better, I’m okay with it, I read the scriptures and understand HIS meaning. To me I’m trying to find out why am I different in everyway.

  • As for me, my faith in Christ is still intact, l know without him am doomed for hell. Life just reaches a point where it never gets better nomatter what you do or how much you pray. I lost my husband and here l am all alone in this useless earth. All l ask God to do for me is to also take me home now because l know to be absent in the flesh is to be present in paradise with Christ. My treasure which is eternal life and a peaceful rest is in heaven and thats where l wanna go and live other than living in this useless, painful and an evil material world that will eventually be destroyed.
    My desire to satisfy my flesh with worldly gains and materials is all dead.

    • Loss of a spouse is one of the biggest stresses we have. A person’s identity is shared between a couple. Which there are grief counselors. Bereavement counselors. Believe it or not, a counselor or therapist can help. As with anything, we go through stages. Where Focus on the Family, 1-800-A-Family has or had a professional to speak with. Which there’s coping mechanisms that can be learned, things unknown by some. I only mention this, as it might help. You could fall off in a depression, which you mentioned some things that are suggestive, where a professional might can help with that. There’s also a national suicide line, where as I understand it, you need not be suicidal, but desiring to die or extremely depressed, which you show signs of. They’re online. Which theyre not judgemental or critical. Like wishing this life is over fits the bill. Like focus on the family or the national suicide line, they probably can refer you to someone local to you. There’s nothing to lose, but by trying, there’s hope.
      It’s a terrible thing to lose someone you’re so close to.
      Oh, the Bible states something like a fool resists knowledge. Where you’re not a fool, but you probably weren’t aware that there’s help out there. Trained professionals. There’s probably local groups too. As well as government operated clinics. They’re usually very understanding and kind people too. Which the Bible doesn’t teach how to cope with loss. But, having someone to talk with that understands can be very valuable. Many people do not understand as many haven’t experienced such. Someone trained understands. I hope this helps.

  • I need HELP pls.the only remaining thing for me is to make a deal with the other god.and sell my soul.tell me something new to comfort the child whose eyes are rotting.a simple op to fix skewed eyes has turn into a nightmare.Drs are speechless.they dont know what to say.atlist all of u are stating personal anguish.im talking about an innocent child here..whose childlike faith hanged on on everything i taught him about a great great god.who do miracles.who is in control.PLS TELL ME wat to tell this child.NOW.i have met sufferings of all sorts.but this one is breaking all hell loose.can parents of similar cases help me please.im lost.

    • Only thing I can suggest is call Focus on the family, 1-800-A-Family. They have or had a trained professionals that could contact you. An hour limit or something like that. But could also refer you out maybe. There are also mental health clinics in many places. You need not be crazy to need help of mental health experts.
      Where in this world, there’s some terrible things. Which feeling helpless, wanting to do something, but you can not think of anything, know anything is a terrible feeling. A therapist, a counselor, psychiatrist might be able to help you adjust as well as maybe tell you how to comfort the child. Maybe explain what the child is experiencing so you can comfort the child as much as possible.
      Where standing back having to see something terrible where you’d love to help can taunt the soul.
      Which again, there’s the national suicide line which is online, where you need not need be suicidal to contact them to talk as well as find others who might help you.
      You are in terrible shoes I know.
      But theres professionals that may not be able to change anything, but they might be able to help you or at least help you comfort the child. I wish you the best of luck.
      If God were here, he would help I believe. Why we have to wait is beyond me, but things have to happen, which isn’t comforting. If we knew the Divine scheme of things, we might could be at ease, where things obviously are’t as simple as we are taught. Which we’ve never had that told to us. Again, feeling helpless can weigh on a person terribly. People you speak on the phone with are very understanding.

  • I need HELP pls.the only remaining thing for me is to make a deal with the other god.and sell my soul.tell me something new to comfort the child whose eyes are rotting.a simple op to fix skewed eyes has turn into a nightmare.Drs are speechless.they dont know what to say.atlist all of u are stating personal anguish.im talking about an innocent child here..whose childlike faith hanged on on everything i taught him about a great great god.who do miracles.who is in control.PLS TELL ME wat to tell this child.NOW.i have met sufferings of all sorts.but this one is breaking all hell loose.can parents of similar cases help me please.im lost.IM DESPERATE.IM KNCCKING.ASKING(begging).SEEKING.without ceasing the bible instruct.RIGHT?

  • Somebody pray for me plus does even work and I’m actually die if I do what this paragraph I already did a prayer asking god to take me

  • Somebody pray for me plus does this even work I ready to die if I do what this paragraphs says will I actually die I already did a prayer asking god to take me I can relate to what Richard saying little but I have deeper thing the. That I got real trauma

  • Please pray that god kills me everyone and everything I’ve ever loved is dead I’ve lost all my children except one whom I barely get to see I’m going to be homeless I’ve become a monster that loathes every single person I come into contact with I cant help but harm everyone viciously and violently except my son I beg god for death every single second of every day cuz I can no longer stand the pain

  • I lost the love of my life to Covid-19 on January 19, 2021. My life is now in shambles. My mind is in a cement block, and I do not know why way to turn. I love God with all my heart. I don’t know how to pray. I feel like my prayer hit the ceiling and I receive no answer. It feels like My heart is beating out of my chest. Gone to walk-in clinic, and ER due to heart palpitations. I need some help sleeping, eating, and getting my life back on track. Thanks for your time

    • Hi Edward

      Sorry to hear about your loss. It must feel really hard coping with losing someone close and precious. Having the right support system in such a time really does help. Do you have close friends or family members that you can be around?
      If you’d like to talk and don’t mind reaching out, my email ad is joyfulovo@yahoo.com.

  • thanks becky, i want to die right now! do you know where i can watch “My Little Monster” without interruptions? All the sites are down right now

    Best.
    Ur mom

  • God is very evil and rotten altogether since he never gave a good single man like me a good wife and family to share my life with, which is bad enough.

    • I understand your pain.
      All that I really asked God to help me with was to find a woman to love.
      For most of my life, women would not even speak to me . . . let alone anything more.
      I was an upright young Christian man, not the sort of sociopathic scumbag who made girls tingle.
      Now I am older. I am still alone. My prayer has changed from someone to love to please kill me, because I cannot bear this empty life.
      Hope evaporated decades ago. Please God, please kill me.

      • Then again, just look at so many rotten and evil women that God really created these days which unfortunately doesn’t help that much for many of us single good men still looking. Today many of us men for no reason at all will get Cursed at by these very pathetic women when we will just say good morning or hello to them too hopefully get a good conversation going, and that doesn’t even make any sense at all why these women will act that way with us to begin with. Back in the old days most women weren’t nothing like today at all, which is why the men back in those days that were really looking for love really lucked out. No wonder why our family members really lucked out in those days.

  • Not a beautiful life. A forced life. I am a prisoner, being held hostage. Life is not a gift if it is forced upon you. Life is not proof of love. If any human treated their child like this, they’d have the child taken away and be arrested.

      • Daniel… there is no need to apologize for expressing what is on your heart a that moment. I am sorry for the pain that you are experiencing. Sometimes it can feel too heavy to bear. Hold on, Daniel. And feel free to express… that is part of healing… And God Himself, desires to hear whatever is on our heart. He listens and cares. I am just a stranger, but may I share with you, I am listening and care also…

      • Daniel, please don’t apologize. I know this is hard. I pray that you feel God’s love all around you. I pray that He speaks to you over any feelings that may be flooding you. You are never alone. I know there are not words that I can say but — please know that God knows you and your heart.

  • I lost my wife, partner, soulmate and best friend in 2020. I pray every night to the Lord that I don’t wake up the next morning.

  • I disagree with Abby’s statement that God does not turn away from us.
    Almost every day for the past 36 years I have asked God to kill me.
    Self-evidently, I am still alive.
    I became a Christian when God’s message touched my heart at the age of 15.
    There is so much pain in my soul, so much misery, that I do not want to live any more.
    At first I asked God for someone to love. The silence was deafening.
    After about a decade, I changed my prayer and asked God to end my pain by killing me.
    When, as a soldier, I faced what soldiers do I might have been the only man there who actually wanted to die. Some of those who wanted to live died, while the man who wanted to die lived. Tell me that is not God’s sense of humour.
    I have been forced to question whether or not God exists, or, if he does, does God even care?
    Does God enjoy our pain?
    I do not know any more.
    Please God, I want the pain in my empty heart to end. I want to die.

    • Please my brother, GODS WILL IS FOR YOU TO LIVE, because you now know he is true, (that is why you pray to him in the first place right) and we who believe need to share with those who don’t know the truth. Jesus is the truth, the way and the life.

      The world will hate you, but remember, it hated him first.

      If you have no attachments to this world, go and spread the word, because you will fear nothing, not ridicule, not pain, not death.

      If you just want to belong to the world, then you are praying to the wrong god. Remember when Jesus was tempted by the satan, the satan offered him what is his to give. The kingdoms of the earth. (the satan is not a god, he is created like us)

      Submission to God is to do his will. Not for God to do your will. God does not make mistakes, and he himself knitted you in your mothers womb.

      You want someone to love, start with Jesus. He died for you.

      Write me if you want to talk. I am a sinner, no better than the meanest man on earth. But Jesus is my Lord and savior. Stay safe

  • Forgiving those who broke your will to live but the pain you are left with is never ending. Everyday you try but there comes a breaking point. God has been kind enough to me but daily I see strength to survive failing in me. A life without hope, anything or anyone you attach hope to hurts you and disappoints you. I so want this to get over.

  • God loves me it doesn’t feel like he does. I’m in agony 24/7 so I think I’m in hell and if God so loved the world why do so many and myself suffer while others who don’t suffer but live above any suffering go around rubbing it in that God loves them and do nothing to relieve our suffering?????

  • I’ve had many traumas in my life i have a disease which called false brain tumors it’s a life-threading and dangerous disease which can make you blind forever!! I’ve got this i get blind bc of it i had surgery on my eye and many injections before this disease i had ocd i was treating myself after 10 months I thought that I’m cured!!! But this shit happens to me right now I’m really fucked up mentally and physically because my doctor just told me that your disease is non curable we might do some surgery on your eyes again! I’m only 19 universe stop hurting me 🙂

  • I’m in a bad place and i really miss being happy. i graduated in 2018 and i haven’t found a proper job. been to several interviews and nothing works out. i used to pray but not anymore; i just don’t think God wants to answer my prayers so why should i bother? i see many of my friends i went to college with getting good jobs and they are happy because apparently, God answers their prayers. so why can’t he answer mine?
    This has me thinking that not everyone is created to have a happy life. some of us are meant to live a miserable life.
    It’s puzzling and funny how ‘believers’ always have a justification for every gap, contradiction or bible inconsistencies in regards with prayer. they say ask and you shall be given and if you don’t get it, that means God has something better for you. or God has His own ways of doing things. so why should i pray for something if God has a plan
    already? it just doesn’t make sense anymore.
    been contemplating on suicide but it’d leave the people that love me devastated. all i ask is for God to take me peacefully in a way that will hurt the people behind less.

  • As a son of a Baptist minister, I was hell bent on proving that God was a fairytale for the delusional . I was the one who could stump any pastor. My greatest joy was getting Christian’s fighting mad, it’s a game for most atheist, so dont get lured in by them. In my 53years I have battled alcoholism and drug addiction. I hated who I was, how could God create a worthless pile of blood and guts ? I finaly quit running from God and surrendered to God giving myself fully. When we surrender to God we see things in a different light. The human mind isn’t capable of fully understanding his will. You must have faith for the things you cant comprehend. I still dont understand why God created me but I do know God isnt capable of mistakes.

  • My mind stays in mental torment. EVERYONE tells me I worry too much but i can’t stop. I am blessed, I have food, shelter, a wife a job but everything hangs by a thread…I could lose it all in a second. I have Bipolar Type 2.

    The darkest fear is if I did lose everything I would be left to go through benzodiazepine withdrawal (Xanax) With no help and no insurance. I would not be able to work or have a place to live. I am so physically dependent on it that I feel withdrawal between doses. I need deliverance from the overwhelming worry, the drug, my mind.

    I stay burdened by guilt, I have lost all my passions, I don’t want to do anything, I don’t believe in myself. I am ready to go be with the Father. If I were free of this drug and I lost everything I would have so many more options, HOWEVER, the reason I’m on it is because i have a panic disorder that is debilitating. I can barely drive or go into public places…my anxiety attacks feel like heart attacks and I also depersonalize. The Xanax took that away, Klonopin gave me thoughts of hurting myself and others plus I stayed too afraid to even be able to get a haircut, so I could not stay on that.

    I take Lamictal and Lithium. Lithium makes me pee at least once an hour at night when I’m trying to sleep. I wake up at 2 every morning to spend a couple of hours with God. I need supernatural help. I fear withdrawal is a fate worse than death, I’m either a slave to the drug or to the illness…and most psychs won’t even prescribe it, they think you’re a seeker, so I stay worried about my psych’s health, that I don’t lose him.

    My mind is a tornado of fear, anxiety and worry. And people say “Fear does not come from the Lord”…I understand that, I need Him to take it away. I’ve even given up playing video games, one of the few things that helped quiet my mind, because I felt convicted that playing shooter games was not good for a Christian.

  • this does not help im a 12 year old boy that wants to die thats all life is poitless don’t try to stop me just give me away yo kill my self]

  • God loves you, but not me, I always want to die because my parents always just shout at me and its there fault that they are shouting at me, they are always just fighting me and shouting at me, how do I tell god to kill me, please tell me, this life isn’t for me, this life is for another person not me, please tell me how to pray so God will kill me.

    Thank you

  • LOL…this is the biggest bullshit piece of trash I ever read in my life, and obviously written by someone far reaching out and stretching the truth of things, to justify some bullshit, that obviously the writer of this story has NEVER walked in the shoes of someone that they claim seeks this advice. The biblical references were complete bullshit and taken out of context, and there is nothing true in this article at all. In fact, God could care less about your suffering, as long as you do his will. God doesn’t care about your feelings, your comfort, or anything of the like. He only cares about himself and his glory, including using suicide as a weapon against it’s own creation. Suicide was so important to God, that he made sure he recorded it for all of history for those that God hates.

    Don’t blow smoke up someone’s ass of shoes you never walked in period. Like everything else, always false hope.

    My experience is the one thing God does not do, is save people from wishing they were dead. In fact, God makes that worse for those that do. “During those days people will seek death but will not find it; they will long to die, but death will elude them.”

    Another person lying for God, and clearly doesn’t know what they are talking about. More “switch and bate.”

    Struggling with suicide for ten years, sought God more than anyone I know….God only made the suicide and desire to be dead even worse….never better.

    I desperately wish I was not here, and God has me terrorized and tortured every day of my life as a result of seeking him.

    You are completely full of shit. Sorry, but you are. Filter my comments though to show a different side of things that are simply not true. Like everything else I have found, the author will argue to be correct and paint an image of God versus what is actually true.

    Actions = truth

    Stop lying to people and creating more false hope. You terrorize people with your lies for those who are suffering liar.

  • I’m about to give up completely. As hard as I have tried, I just can’t seem to get it right. I know that hell awaits me in the end and I believe that my fate was written before the creation of the world.
    I thought I was saved but, as hard as I have tried there is no fruit of the Spirit. I get up and read The Bible only to read just words printed on paper. I pray but there is nothing but silence on the other end of the phone if you will. I ask God for forgiveness everyday for any sin I have committed, yet I don’t believe I’m forgiven or even my conversion was even recognized by the Lord. I want to end it all knowing that I’m only going to speed up the process and then what?
    Nobody has any answers. Just the same canned response you get from those who have it all together and know that the Lord has a place for them at the table.
    My job is a dead end, my skills are either on a factory floor in China or on a battlefield in Iraq. My “God given Talents” are as useless as dry water. The only time I can use it is for VBS and even then, its more like pulling teeth with tweezers knowing that it’s all “dirty rags” according to The Word of God.
    I’ve prayed about it, I’ve wept about it, I stay up all night thinking about it….it’s like knowing that you are about to be executed and there is absolutely nothing you can do but wait for the guards to unlock your cell door and escort you to the place of execution.
    I’m almost 60 years old and I have absolutely nothing to show for it when most of my friends are retiring and enjoying the fruits of their labors, I have to start all over again as if I just got out of High School from the bottom with no place to rise or make any difference. They simply don’t want to know.
    Nobody wants to talk to me, most are afraid to or have a deep seated resentment of me. Forget having friends. I am deathly afraid to talk to strangers for any reason. I am painfully shy. The idea that I can talk to people about things is totally alien to me….believe me, its a curse.
    So what do I do? Where do I start? Is this going to last forever, Is hell as bad as they say??

    • I’m 46 and in the same boat brother. I don’t know what to say to you as I want to die myself. What does God want? Perfection from us? We can’t be! Yet he Blesses some and curses others. If I could vomit out my soul, I would. It HURTS.

  • I dont have any relationship with god, and i hate the bible becuse i dont understand it and revalation scares me. But i hate my existance to satanic levels. I have suffered from lonliness, and isolation for all of my life and have never had any friends, or a girlfriend which is all i ever wanted. To feel loved by someone. Im 35 now and nothing has ever changed and has only gotten worse. Im not depressed, I i see my existance because i have no life, no resources, no family that will listen, no one around me, not even an uber or ambulance comes out this far. And i have prayed for over a decade and all my prayers were ignored. My greatist wish is for my soul to be erased like i was never born. The thought of death gives me pease, and my dreams are the only place i can have a girlfriend and a family and feel loved. I have never comited cuiside because i know god will throu me in hell which is such an evil act, to take someone who is suffering from lonliness, poverty and isolation his whole life and to just increse his suffering for trying to escape it. No one in their right mind would want to live in this world ran by greed, status, poverty, terrorism, desease, war, corruption and so on, this isnt gods world, its satans. I just want to die to escape this constant crying every day for 30 YEARS! to escape this pain of lonliness and isolation and just wanting to be loved, but because i was cursed with asperges desease, learning disorder, cant cook, cant drive cant work, i am considered garbage in the dating world, and the worse part garbage is what i am and i say that while thinking of every possible measure i can and have the ability to take to try to change it, and i have no ability to, so death is my only escape, soon im going to reach the point where the fear of hell will no longer hold me back and if god throws me it, then maybe i agree with why satan rebelled, god id selfish and only wants slaves like hitler.

  • You are delusional. God didn’t come to them in times of need in fact they had terrible lives. You should learn scripture before writing about it. Ps suicidal people don’t hate themselves. Everyone else who abuses them is to blame and so is God for not helping.

    • You may be correct! “God helps those who help themselves”. Yet you’re not helping either! Help us/them, please! extend your leaflets, cusps, capillaries. I don’t care but please help us/them, threw reason, if nothing else.

  • Please take me to heaven my journey on earth has stopped and been nothing but cruel to me since I was abused as a child

    • May you ascend where you belong! “No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money. It’s an anachronism, I know, But these cruel disasters known as”people” will only win monetary pleasure if you give them the satisfaction of your sacrifice! “In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return unto the ground; for out of it wast thou taken: for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return.” We all return to the same. No matter how significant “They” think they are. wait till you see their faces in the end. Don’t give them the satisfaction. You have so much more to give. Too yourself if nothing else! Other-wise the “Earth” wins

  • Is anybody interested in a group chat?

    I believe in the power of prayer and the power in numbers and if we band together, we can pull each other out of this darkness with the help of God.

    The only condition is: we all have to be 100% transparent. I want friends (or whatever you’d like to be referred to as) who believe in God (or not) but who are also REALISTIC about the world.

    WE HATE IT HERE! We’re scared, we’re tired, we’re mad at God and we want to know why.

    We can talk about it. Pray about it. Cry about it. Scream about it. Share scriptures. Have bible study and be each other’s emotional support buddies and accountability parents.

    Let me know if you’re interested. Email: HealingHurts@outlook.com

  • A couple of years ago, I shouted to God that I hated him while banging on the car console. I felt a complete stillness and silence. I was afraid to sleep because I thought I wouldn’t wake up. You see, I didn’t want to commit suicide; I wanted my situations to change. I thought I would never tell God that but I did. Everything in my heart showed me where my heart was even towards people I said I loved. Until day, I still have depression still , and suicidal thoughts every now and then. I try to go through the whole counseling process because I have children and I’m married. My hope is still in Jesus and I pray that my children come to know him , despite me having depression. I believe and know he is good regardless of what is going on with me and around me. My healing maybe through talk therapy. I hardly share how I feel so I have endured many mistreatments over the decades. I have been there and done that. I have gone through the stages with grief with God. I have done many things to change God’s mind but there is something I need to face with myself so I can love myself and others they way I should. It’s funny that in the midst of what seems like hell on earth, God used me to be there for others and they remind me today of how God used me in their darkest hour to encourage me. I can’t wait to no longer feel depressed, lonely, angry, etc. It would be nice to feel purposeful and fulfilled in Jesus Christ. I’m still struggling in my walk with him but I’m holding on. To run from him the many times I have done is scary. I don’t want to be out of God’s love, mercy, grace, and protection.

    • I think you are on the right track! Yet I think He used You in Your darkest hour to encourage many. It takes huevos to spill your experience to the masses and what you wrote, indeed, inspires the clout! Your shoulder’s may always sag heavy. I just want you to know that your solitary foot prints helped bear and guide many more whom need a clear path to follow in the storm!

  • Where is sanctuary? How can it be given online? How can a heart be poured with no bowl to fill it? Lust, Vanity, Wrath, Envy, Gluttony, Greed, Sin? No bucket could hold such centuries! Where is closure for which that has no end? Where is serenity of “thy-self” in universal doubt and disdain? Where and how can salvation be sought for a mentality created/enforced yet not accepted, though manipulated by or against those that do or do not want to ask yet ask the proverbial rhetorical? Asking for a friend that is that they are…

  • God usually isn’t here. He’s somewheres else. He has sent angels on his behalf at times to some of his faithful. We live in a world where there’s good people and bad people. Most all the evil experienced is done by evil people.
    Look at His chosen people, they’ve gone through hell and God delivered them from Egypt.
    I suspect many speculate on things, then make assumptions. Yet, look at Noah’s days, people were continuously evil. Where it’s said, we will not always contend with man as he is flesh and he dies. Then man’s days were reduced to 120 years. Only Noah and his family were saved. Somewheres else, someone else may have been saved, but the Bible doesn’t get into world geography, it revolves around the people in the middle East, to the Hebrews. What went on in China, India, even the Americas are definitely not known. Then when the Jews were in Egypt, they were there a long time until Moses came along. Where God didn’t talk to everyone, he talked to Moses.
    Just like Jesus came, where he was a man as was Moses, but he had the Holy Spirit, and was the word of God. Living and exemplifying God hisself, healing people, rescuing the lost. Note he wasn’t out rescuing infidels that were living how they so wanted. He went to save the lost sheep, raised with the Mosaic Law, but went astray. Bringing them back to the rest of the herd. As to the rest of the herd, he said a person that’s whole doesn’t need a physician. Other words, a whole person doesn’t have ailments and such but are healthy. Where it was heaven on earth when everyone received the Holy Spirit.
    Think about Cornelius in the book of Acts, he lived just before God. Which he was probably a kind, man, loving his family and such. Many portray biblical characters as stiff, rigid type people. That’s Hollywood. Real people have feelings. Look at Job, he broke the jaws of scorners, but he was also eyes for the blind, legs for the lame, ears for the dead, mouth for the mute, etc.
    Which we really need the support of others who are legitimately faithful. It’s better if we can be closer, even community. The Bruderhoff are on you tube where they are community. Laura at the Bruderhoff I think. Which they have a strong commitment to the community. Faithful too, but the guys might still be ignorant, ?.
    Which in the Eastern Orthodox, we have saints. Catholics have saints too. Which miracles have been associated with such people. They don’t do the miracles, but are associated with their intercession. St. Nicholas of Myra, is familiar to all. Which dying and bodies not decomposing is associated with sainthood, especially in adverse conditions. Yet, there’s other criteria.
    But, the faithful need the support of others devoted to the faith. As the Bible mentions a man traveling alone, if he falls, there’s no one to help him. Which I imagine the reference to falling means more than just busting ones butt. It might be falling where one really gets hurt. I’ve busted my butt many times, but generally been able to get up, as most I’ve known others to get up too. Yet, if you really busy your butt like slipping off the edge of a ledge, falling in a hole, which I have done to, it’d help if there were others. I was walking atop a log jam where the dirt between looked solid until I fell through. Shotgun and everything else made it complicated, yet also serves as an aid to get out of the hole. Many aren’t familiar with such. Yet, many are not willing to sacrifice the things of this life to be with others who’re faithful. Which this is not to say that modern believers do not have faults. Any number have came from dysfunctional homes and lives, which not knowing why they do the things they do. Some delved into sinful lives and may carry some with them. Where we’re all hoping God will have mercy on us. Like some self medicate, which as human beings we are vulnerable to the weaknesses of being human. Judge not that ye be not not judged
    This pertains to those within the faith, God judges those outside. Within the faith, we’re told to forbear one another in love. Hint use an 1828 Noah Webster Dictionary to look up forbear. It’s online. Forget using greek and Hebrew, English scholars translated this into English. Just use a dictionary that coincides with the KJV.
    Anyway, I figured I’d make a comment for others to thought about. Oh, corn in the Bible is not corn as you know it. Corn as you know it is native to the Americas called zea Mays. Old English, corn is a term meaning grain. Like wheat corns. It’s wheat, barley etc. If a preacher insists it is corn like you know it, it doesn’t know agriculture, history or English. ?

  • I love how this initially comes across as understanding and inclusive. Then, at the end, you do what all good Christians do, you force your agenda on the TV wounded and trick them into accepting Christ into their heart so you can sleep peacefully thinking you are good and pure. You are nothing outside of cowardice.

  • God is very rotten and very evil for punishing many of us good innocent people for no reason at all, and rewards the wicked ones. Go figure.

  • Why is God letting my 97 Yr old mother suffer. She’s been nothing but a good person and now she’s in bad health and has had enough of life. She asks why can’t he come for her. I’m getting very angry with him and I’m beginning to ask myself is there a god

  • I’m such a disappointment to everyone, especially my parents. I do not want to live anymore. it’s useless, every single thing in this world is meaningless; I am done waiting for God. I do not wish to be saved. I’m not asking for forgiveness. All I want is to be dead.
    I’m only 14. I don’t want to be sad anymore or be a burden to others. I am the most disgraceful human being on the planet, but I don’t do drugs or commit crimes. I’m just the daughter my parents never wished for. I regret my very existence, I don’t deserve to live. I don’t want to wake up. My greatest wishes is that I sleep one night and never open my eyes ever again. I don’t think my parents should mourn for me because I was disrespectful and ungrateful instead I hope they find happiness. No more Ally to regret having a child. There is no more Ally to get bad grades, or “raise her voice at you”, or anything. You can enjoy your life. Shar will make you very happy. She is perfect, something I will never be.
    I cannot escape even if I want to, because I don’t see any reason for me to. Even if I try, I can never become a good person, it’s something I can never ever be. I hope they will find happiness and peace. And forget about me because I caused them nothing but pain and sorrow. All of this, this world is just useless. Nothing is ever going to help me. God?! Really? There is no purpose for my existence other than to be a burden. The day God lets me die, is the day my family will thank God and find peace.

  • Hello everyone, i’ll try to help you atleast a little bit. I see there are ALOT of you searching for answers, me too. I decided to make this comment to tell you there is no answer, all that this kind of sites provide is more selfguilt which is wrong. But i will leave you with one thought that could help you all. God is missing (by missing i mean He is not not as involved as He was in all human history), for past hundred years there is shortage of real prophets, last one was Padre Pio, churches filled with pedophiles, everything is upside down.
    There may be one reason for that, and that is that we are living in Endtimes. From earthquakes to forest fires. Unbearable evil world we live in. Everything is written in Book of revelation. If you can please try to have hope little longer. I know whats like going to bed crying and waking up crying wishing you could just die as soon as possible. The only hope i found is that end will come very soon. I know that few of you will be sceptical about my comment but if any of you want I will provide you much more evidence that end is here.

    Try to be patient, i love you all!

  • One situation never changes. The other just becomes worse. These fraternity and sorority thugs use our own government as a weapon to persecute us. Everyone lies. I don’t want to live here. Why won’t God intervene loudly? How is my prayer failing?

  • God told them all to go back to their awful lives. He didn’t help the prophets. Have you even read the Bible? Btw saying having your first child makes you wish you were dead must make your kid feel terrible.

  • god is pure evil. a cold hearted cruel and wrath filled being who thrives on hatred. he let david get away with murder and adultery while thousand were killed by having rocks thrown at them. if you want no part of heaven he blows a fuse and your life will be hell. so much for free will. he can take his heaven and stick it. no. i am NOT a fan of satan either because he failed to rid us of this evil tyrant and deserves death to. the key to ridding ourselves of this evil being is the mercy seat and the death of the 2 arc Angel’s and to destroy the 2 zoon who guard it. then we must find a truly good being to rule. it is not me so you can get that out of your Little mind. i just revenge on the tyrant.

  • If God loves all of us why didn’t he help my child that died of cancer? when I was little why was I :molested over and over again by family why bad things happen to me I asked God in my life but things are still going wrong in my life.

  • I am depressed horribly and do not want to be here anymore.
    Everyone in my family don’t understand
    They think I’m making it up.
    I’m not I want to die so bad.
    I can’t take it anymore, I hate being alive.
    There is no happiness or joy left
    Only complete pain in my legs and feet and misery in my head

  • Just because like this doesn’t mean everyone needs to pray a salvation prayer to get saved this is so annoying just like a new visitor at church and immediately people think they don’t know God stop with the religious ways

  • I couldn’t read through everyone’s comments right now but the truth is that the devil fights those that are meant for great achievements.
    I was born in a loving family and my dad was a teacher so he chose to train all us upto the university level. I was quite stubborn but at the tail end I finished.
    I was an alcoholic abuser/cigarette smoker for years and the worst was that I later started having anal masturbations all by myself for like 2 years but not really on a steady scale.
    2018 I started getting sick without any understanding of what is wrong with me, presently I am having a leaky butt and infections that I am treating from time to time.
    I hate myself right now, I don’t know what to do, presently I am asking God for an easy way to rest cause I know I can’t afford the pains of anything. Not just on me but my family because that is what I’m thinking is about to befall me. The medical system here doesn’t even help.

    I need rest in anyway, I’ve done enough to this body, I’ve learnt my lessons but late.

  • Many of you should read Matthew 24. We will suffer as Christ suffered. There was no promise of ease, peace, or abundance. Only the promise for enduring until the end. Stay strong my brothers and sisters, let us comfort one another, pray, and praise God.

  • Your best hope in depression is heaven, where you will go into static perfection, be rid of your personality (all of our vices and balances of virtues will be eliminated, meaning you’ll be exactly the same as everyone in heaven, and go into blissful non-existence of true death. You’ll stop being a person and mindlessly and blissfully praise God as much as he likes.
    Try to avoid hell.
    God will keep you fully conscious and alive in hell forever despite calling it the “second death.” His ego demands that he torture us forever is we follow the nature he knitted us together with, so wemust escape through whatever rope he dangles down to us,
    Just keep trying to serve and hopefully Jesus will open the door to you when this horrible existence he gave us can end with a blissful loss of personhood.

  • I’m sorry to say but there is absolutely no such thing as God. I died and he was nowhere and I was not a bad person. I chose to put myself first above my family but I always loved them and wanted them but I was embarrassed of who I became so I hid from the people I loved. I thought about dying but I’m too selfish for that & I already hurt everyone I love. U would think after being murdered, raped numerous times, beaten, taken advantage of, and having a special needs child along with two others who know I am not good enough for them. I had good intentions for everyone I cared about but I wasn’t able to help everyone. I had it all wrong. Anyways, I died, no God there, my kids probably aren’t going to be with me so I am here to tell you that there is nothing but darkness when we die and if he were real, my life’s wouldn’t be in so much pain. Believe if you want but I know he’s not real. Thank you

  • I gave my life to Christ but ever since then it feels like things have become worse and worse…i have started wondering if it was the right thing to do
    My shop and house are being closed,my kids and I have nowhere to go to,my kids havent gone to school because of fees…i have prayed and prayed and fasted,prayed at 12,3,5 am but nothing changes to the better
    We barely have food to eat,i cant continue seeing my kids suffer
    I think dying will bring me peace cz if God cant answer our prayers even when my kids pray to him,then there is no need of living …if he wont end our lives,i will end them myself cz i cant do this much longer

  • God and Jesus are evil low life scumbags to begin with, which is why we have so much problems in our world now because of this. You have the democrats that want to take over this world with all their horrible policies, and what a bunch of pathetic losers they really are altogether.to begin with. How could God and Jesus be so very rotten to let these losers get away with what they’re doing in the first place? We need a real God to solve these problems today. America has always been the home of the brave, and the land of the free.

  • Dear God :<

    Im tired of this life you give me.
    I dont wanna continue living this miserable life anymore. I dont wanna die :< I just want a fresh new start.

    What's your plan on my life? Is there really a plan on my life? Im tired of everything. It hurts so bad, even my parents wish I wasn't born because of hardship I give them. Im not worthy to be a called son. I wish I never born (or I wish I was born on a better life).

    There are days that I feel alone and lonely. And Im starting to think that you dont even exists. Or maybe youre existed but im not worthy of your time so you abandoned me :<
    But I wont give up Dear God, Im still hoping that someday everything will change and you will hear all my prayers.

    I dont wanna die yet, I wanna live long and start my own family. I wanna raise my child to be a God-fearing and a believer just like my parents raise me.

    Thank you Lord
    -your dear child that always calls you when he's lonely and sad.

  • i truly dont like what i say here, i was taught we are gods children, try looking at “kensington avenue” philedelphia, on you tube, miles of homeless junkies in a stupor, i dont know what needs to be done, what i see on earth is the saddest thing i ever saw. why are we left with this escalation of this? what would it take to ask god to speak prosperity into his childrens lives for all of them?

  • I want God to take me home Thursday night & I’m not talking suicide but the reason is I want to put my brother’s name on my Life Insurance as my new beneficiary cause my daughter & her husband now live in Kentucky & my brother believes if I die she wouldn’t pay for my funeral expenses & he’s right. After he signs the beneficiary I want to die & go to heaven. Another reason is that my brother is in terrible debt & he wants to sell the property & get me to move but where I live is my real home & it would be better off if I passed away then he could sell the property, take all the money &.pay off debt. It breaks heart & if I die would be completely out of debt then

  • My 52 year old brother passed away in May with Covid because I didn’t call the ambulance to take him to the hospital .
    He couldn’t breathe correctly and could not stand up at all .
    My heart is torn apart and I don’t deserve to live for failing to save him .

  • I have been a Christian my whole life, I’ve been deep in the church and word studying like my life depended on it. I even went on to be an assistant college pastor, coached college football leading other young men to the Lord. Time and time again, never feeling my pain and suffering go away, only getting worse, and to stack on that: I have less and less and less, giving more and more of my earthly things and myself to be as best I can be to others so they see Christ. And once again I find myself looking for my reprieve, being left empty handed and now emptied hearted. I know all the things to say and I hear His voice often just saying the same things, and never seeing or feeling the goodness that we all spout out. I’m tired of sucking it up, I’m tired of turning the cheek, I’m done, I’m not mad at who He made me to be or what talents I’ve been given. However, I feel doomed and destined to suffer and feel the suffering and see the suffering and now I’m just The Suffering all the time. I’ve asked several times why He created me when He doesn’t even need me to do anything. I never asked to be born, nor have I ever wanted to be. I remember when I was 5, telling my parents I didn’t ask to be here (loving parents, half way decent family life). But the one thing I want more than anything is to have never existed. My life has always been one I didn’t want, I have never wanted to be here in this reality. Or more accurately any reality. The most peaceful sounding thing to me is to have never even been a thought or plan; NEVER HAVINF EXISTED. And God just responds with “I’ve designed you for a purpose…” And I’m like, you didn’t need me to do any of this, so why create me to do this. I have not been to church in some time, I’ve given up because after 30+ years of an existence I didn’t want, I’m still here.

    So I ask, anyone got an actual answer or solution? Because I’m done with cliche sayings, I’m tired of being quoted the scripture I’ve already memorized and burned into my heart. Give me something tangible that reverses all this. Don’t give me the churchy answer and don’t waste my time with things like hope.

  • The title of this and post written, are misleading Kelly. You throw 2 meager sentences together like it’s the answer we all came here for, but that answer is only about 20% and I’m sorry, but we already know that answer. Give us something solid we can stand on, not 2 meager sentences, you basically just paraphrased a bunch of stuff like it was a quick write essay in 2min for your bible class in Christian school saying the obvious churchy answer. So thanks for deceiving me with the possibilities of salvaging my soul.

  • I swear to fucking god you are the most inane, out-of-touch person I’ve ever come across regarding the subjects of faith, mental illness, and suicide. Holy shit, you are doing ACTUAL damage to the work qualified people are doing to stop the suicide epidemic. Desperate people are looking for help, and you post irresponsible bullshit?

    You should honestly consider taking this post down, as it represents a moral (and maybe even legal) liability.

  • Dear lord please help me. Please make my life better. Please let me sleep for ever to take this pain away. I have always tried to be a good person and help as many people as I possibly can. I have made mistakes in my life for which I am sorry for but I do not deserve this pain. I don’t want to live but my sons I can not let down in the worse way possible.

    Amen

  • Remember GOD don’t make mistakes. The closer we are to God have a rough time. But gods promise to us real. Don’t believe the lies you hear. Because we are loved by the best. That is all that matters. He loved his son more and look what Jesus went thru. So I say give me more I’d rather help jesus Nott carry so much suffering. I wish I could help but you guys don’t ever give in. God carried me thru hell with fire and I never got my hair messes up so if I a simple dummy he saves, I know he has something special for all of you. And I was probably born just to write this and thank you jesus

  • Ok . So I was born again in 1977 , feeling lost and alone with no brothers or sisters I could relate to my one sister was in a mental instatution . She was sexually abused by my dad ,her step dad . It wa a miserable life full of shame and despair . Later on at age 17 I found myself pregnant and married to an abusive crazy person who I ended up having 3 children before I found a way out of getting beat up all the time . He finally met another younger version of myself . SHe later fell off a building and died and he found another GF who he murdered. Prison for him 23 years before my childrens father commited suicide on fathers day .
    second mariage he was an alcoholic and gave me two more children . He ran off with a few women before I finally made my final exit ….20 years later all of my children have been taken from me through various ways . I took all five of them to church over the past 20 years and my faith in god has not kept my children from curses ?? Am I cursed and did it go through to my children , why did they suffer so much pain and despair ? I find myself alone even though I have five adult children . THey are gone ..one was murdered , one is in prison for 20to life , One is suffering from HIV, mental illnes and meth addiction hes only 28 , one lost to the hight life in NYC who wont have anything to do with me or God …and finally my only daughter is far and cold very uncaring . WHat is wrong with this picture ? I just want to die and if that is my blessing I dont want one . EVen my best of friends have gone cold and uncaring.
    What is all the suffering for …GOd has a plan for my life ? Is this it ? My life is like Job’s ive lost everything so why would I want to live ? The church does not really genuinly care . All they seem to care about it how much thithes you give them . Its a joke and full of entertainment at most churches these days . THey cant wait to go grab a coffee after church instead of reaching out to the lost and wounded sheep. :((

  • I pray every night to my Lord Jesus to take me home; to just stop my heart. I pray over and over. I feel my life has no meaning, no purpose. I don’t think I would commit suicide, but I don’t enjoy anything about my life…I’m done, I just want, need to leave this Earth.

  • The world is in such a mess people are cruel how does God see all this and not help .the human race should be wiped out and God should start again and get it right.

    • Father, I pray for every person who comments on this page. I thank you that you care and see. I pray that everyone who reads this post will know your love and grace. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

  • Amy thank you dearly for making me aware of gods scripture when i needed it most may god enable you to continue to spread his word god bless you my sister my life continues through your gift of your literature many thanks and blessing to you

  • I am a Born Again Lady dealing with depression. I get so drained of other Christians saying life is great and we should think so too. . Well, maybe for others it is great. But for myself it’s not great. After my beautiful daughter tragically journeyed on during the Summer of 2020. And I ended a long term relationship with the love of my life in 2021. Due, towards my depression and me wanting God to put me asleep. I had to set my Ex free. Because he wants this World. He couldn’t understand why I detests this chaotic & evil Earth. I am looking forward towards one of these days of finally living with God in Paradise.

  • I’m 32 years of age born into a Christian family, loved God right from birth and tries as much as possible to walk in the way of Christ but still things don’t work out for me, I’m not lazy, i want to work with my hands but i keep getting into debt from trying not to just sit at home, i cannot even rent an apartment for myself and all i know is God! I wish i was born not knowing about God maybe I wouldn’t have had any hope of “there is a supernatural being who is there to help me”. I regret being in this world. I wish i can just die right now!!!

    • Father God, I pray for Michael. I pray that you encourage his heart. I pray that you show Him a way. I thank you for His life. I thank you for the fact that even His comment has blessed me today. He has purpose. He speaks truth. He matters. I thank you that you will not leave Him. God open up doors for Michael. Be ever near to Him. I pray life for Him and hope. May HE find new depths of Jesus’ love like never before. I have wanted to kill myself in the past. I thank you, God that you saved me from that. IN Jesus’ name. Amen.

  • I don’t want eternal life, and just want to cease to exist. All the days of my life, from the moment I was in the womb, until now, God has done evil to me for his own prosperity.

    Throughout my childhood, teen years and to a lesser degree in my 20’s, God heaped mountain ontop of mountain of suffering onto me. He wanted others to see my faithfulness while in so much suffering, and to break me utterly to use me.

    God is the God, who drove anyone who could love me in a genuine sense, be it a friend, mentor or romantic partner, out of my life in the most surreal ways. Imagine, an entire life of coldness and loneliness?

    Pleasure is not love, and I do not believe God is capable of genuine love towards me. My proof for God’s inability to love me, is based upon my own experiences. Once, I came tantalizingly close to romantic love, and God took it all away in the cruelest manner. When he was done breaking me, completely and totally breaking me(mind, body, heart and soul), he dragged me into a kind of wilderness. Showed me many visions, and while in that completely broken state, used me as a messenger. Once, during prayer, I seen a giant sphere of light, and in that vision I was a pillar surrounding that sphere of light.

    The sphere would pump energy into the pillar’s, of which I was one, and it was immensely pleasurable. Each time the energy would reach the pillars, it would space-fold back to the sphere, causing the sphere to expand and become more powerful and increasing the intensity of the pleasure. Having never experienced pleasure in my life it quickly became too much and began to hurt. No different then if I was cast into a lake of fire, as it quickly became too much and hurt too badly, that I had to push God’s presence away from me.

    Looking at my life, it wasn’t so much that I needed God’s blessings and he refused to help, moreso, that he has only brought misery and affliction into my life, while Satan mocks me on account of the evil God has done to me.

    When I was born, I was damaged due to medical negligence. Something that will cause lifelong poverty. I was entitled to a payout/maintenance payments, but God deprived me of that. Made everyone’s heart numb towards me, so by the time I discovered the truth, the statue of limitations had long passed.

    Whenever opportunity, through a treasure or my own natural abilities surfaced, God shamelessly robbed and destroyed those opportunities. Whenever I desired another, or she desired me, as I was always fairly handsome, God without mercy, engaged in all manners of evil against me, or against the one I desired.

    Whenever I found joy in something, it was taken away, because I’m only allowed to find “joy”, in a God who ceaselessly does evil to me. I was born a slave to God, and he made sure I was raised as cruelly as one would raise a slave.

    And for what cause? Because God made a $1 bet with Satan. That if God did evil to me, I would then gladly worship Satan(which I haven’t, as I despise Satan. He was once loved and cared for by God, given all he could ask for, yet wanted more. When he fell and no longer felt the warmth of God’s love, what did he do? Satan went and used that to justify great evil saying “Since I have no hope, I will engage in evil against others to sate myself”.).

    Even if God ceases his evil against me at 40, like I suspect he will, even if he pours out the treasuries of Heaven, it will be far too late. God is one who takes, so he can give. There is nothing that he can give, that could balance the scales of misery and affliction he has caused me.

    He wouldn’t even let me die! When I did die, he forced me back to life. All the times I almost died, he forced me to stay alive. I’m sick and tired of existence, and wish to melt into nothingness to flee the creatures, lords and Lord of existence.

    God is just another in a long list of toxic narcissists in my life, that are always glad of me when I make them look good to others, but behind closed doors has only ever been abusive and exploitive.

    I repent in being formed, and mourn the day of my birth, because the Heaven’s have always been treacherous towards me.

  • I want to die , I am not worthy for my father. He also feel I am useless and I am not good enough. He say me ” you will , what will happen to me” .
    I failed in my career. My manager also not supporting me .
    Work get unnoticed. Nobody recognizey work they just use me.
    I am not finding a new job. I am getting rejected every where.
    I am rejected by guy for marriage , he showed he hope that he like me and suddenly turn off and marry to another woman. I am not worthy for love.
    I feel now after praying a lot , God is just created by human to make them calm down but it’s temporary.

    Now I want to take my life or praying God should do it. Because at the age of 30 I am not where I want to be .

    I am not good enough.
    I am not a good daughter
    My Manager also feels I am not capable fir anything. She always dominate me. She didn’t support me.
    I get Everytime fail in CMA exams.
    I get failed in interview

  • All i have to say is that if God wasn’t a filthy scumbag piece of shit to begin with, we never would’ve had any problems at all today in this world had he been real altogether.

  • I was abused as a child every way except sexual abuse. My dad and adult relatives I grew up with would tell me almost every church week as nice I was 7 that I was: No good, worthless, a loser, stupid and a good for nothing bum which is why grandma would tie me to a tree and beat me with a stick. I know I am not stupid because I graduated from college with honors. I have no self esteem and was married to a woman who beat me and also called me names too. I am divorced and have 2 adult children. I pray everyday to forgive. I also want a nice Catholic woman to marry and praise the Lord forever. That will never happen because it’s not God’s will for me. I’m 66 years old and I stopped praying to meet anyone. Now I pray to die . I can’t take it anymore to live and get older and become bitter and die all alone. It’s been this way all my life. If the current situation in the Ukraine hits America, I hope I am the first person killed. That would be better than living in sorrow for the rest of my life.

  • My husband said he lost feelings for me and that we can no longer be in this marriage together , i was heart broken because i so so much love my husband , i did all i can to make sure he develop feelings for me but nothing happen , not until a friend of mine introduce me to this powerful man who help me , i contacted him and told him about my break up and he said he will help me and my husband will come back to me with heart full of love and in less than 48 hours my husband came back home to apologize to me for hurting me and today we are living together as one, if you want this powerful man to help you in any way please contact him today : dumeladgreat @gmail. com

  • YES GOD DOES LOVE YOU !!!!!!! I am far from a perfect Christian, but I am Born Again. THANK YOU JESUS FOR SAVING ME !!!!!!! But I am definitely ready to go home even this night. Got to pray touch Randy’s heart you leaving God and then you bless him in JESUS holy mighty name amen ❤️

  • If God loved me, he wouldn’t have given me mental illnesses that took away my dreams, made the woman I love seek another man’s bed, and prevent me from finding success and happiness in life. I’ve prayed hundreds, maybe thousands, of times, but I get no answer. No, don’t feed me any nonsense that it’s Satan responsible for my conditions, because if God were truly all powerful, he could have intervened in all cases. But he didn’t.

    If God is willing but not able, he’s not omnipotent and thus not worthy of worship.
    If God is able but not willing, he’s malevolent and thus not worthy of worship.
    Alternatively, God simply does not exist and it’s all a load of bull.

    But it’s okay. I will be going to the place I’m going to die in a few days and he’ll have one last chance to intervene. My life, as miserable as it is, will depend on it. We’ll see what he’ll do.

  • God said in his word if thou know the thought I have for thee ,thought of good and not of evil to give thee an exceeding end ,then why is he frustrating me ,keep snubbing me ,I thought he says he loves us why are people dieing , if he is alive why doesn’t he wants to visit me ,I am tired of hearing about God

  • May 2022
    I am laying in my bed beside one of the sweetest grandsons I have ( he’s 5) , & Googling “ Grandmother, Blessed Life, & I want to Die”.
    I came across this article & Ive read comments.
    I am a Believer.
    My Grandfather was a Primitive Baptist Preacher.
    I was raised in church.
    I Believe in Jesus & the Bible as truth .
    And I struggle daily with depression and suicidal thoughts.
    I won’t go into my life of rebellion, or the things that have been done to me or the things I’ve brought on by my own actions .
    I spent 3 years in a hell-hole jail & I can tell you the ONLY thing that brought me through was Jesus Christ.
    Life is a Roller Coaster.
    I know I can’t take myself out because I’m in this darkness again.
    The sun will shine again.
    I’m 54.
    One thing I’ve learned from dealing with this as long as I can remember – go to a doctor . Yes, I’m on antidepressants.
    Make yourself go outside . Walk in the sunshine , dig a hole , pick weeds – cut down a tree – something !!
    Put something on that makes you LAUGH.
    Conan & Jordan’s trip to Italy – look it up on YouTube – just anything that makes you laugh .
    Watch something that makes you cry. St Jude’s commercials as children and Parents cry out for LIFE ! Life that for whatever reasons we are willing to give away – They are begging for .
    It stops me in my tracks . Yes , I still deal with my thoughts, & feelings , but something changes inside them.
    For me , personally, I put on Praise & Worship music- LOUD – and I shout & sing – I shout to God – & sometimes it’s not praise- but I usually end up on the floor , face down, crying . Exhausted.
    I have to fight.
    And I have to “get” the weight of depression off somehow .
    Sometimes I bury my face in a pillow & scream .
    I dare say boxing , running , etc would help but I don’t have the physical ability to do that , so , honestly , I force myself to go outside & walk around my yard as many times as I can force myself .
    Listen : there’s no Light without Darkness.
    Just accept that fact .
    And learn how to fight thru the darkness when it comes . I promise , it doesn’t last forever , the Light will come.
    For all those women and men who feel like you’ve made so many mistakes & been such a bad example , that you’ll never be enough & youre so alone : your family & friends, the world knows.
    God knows .
    And if we’re still here – we have the ability to help someone just like us .
    Maybe that’s why we’re going thru it or we’ve been thru it .
    Because I don’t want to hear a mother of 8 tell me she understands why my baby died.
    Or a “seemingly” perfectly married couple tell me why my husband cheated .
    Or someone who’s never been raped tell me “ they know “ what I’m going through.
    It takes a world of broken people to help broken people.
    Do me a favor. Keep fighting . Don’t give up.
    And I’m gonna do my best to do the same.

  • Hi… I’m a believer and know that God loves me and that Jesus Christ died for me to be saved…
    For so many years I’ve fought with the spirit of suicide but I can say im free now…
    But now all I desire is for God to give me a sickness that will take my life in the shortest time possible…
    I know there are so many things I can look ahead for in the future cause I’m just 18 and soon going to University but I think I don’t want to live anymore…

  • THIS HAS TO BE A JOKE. God tortured me for 20 years already (im 30),all healing prayers unanswered ( despite saying that everything that would be asked in J name will be granted. And now He is saying ( through scripture ) that i have to suffer for the rest of my life. i lived since i was 10 with all kinds of mental ilnesses, thank to some meds i was given as a kid to treat a sleep problem. never had lasting friends nor a love. always alone . He tortured me without my consent to gain more worshippers. now it’s time to stop. i decided to suicide because i don’t want to suffer anymore. i fear it wont be easy since i can still be useful alive to Him . maybe He will make me fail my suicide attempt and make me maimed and more handicapped. i don’t know, i’ll try

  • With all these very severe mentally disturbed people that are causing so much crime, hate, and misery, in our world now which God is nowhere to be found. God where are you? And stop this already you fool.

  • I’m here to tell everyone what Dr Ayoola did for me I have been playing lottery for so many years now. I have never win a den so I was worried because I need to pay my monthly bills I was going through some comment on google when I saw a post about Dr Ayoola helping someone to win lottery so I contacted him telling him that I will love to win lottery as well. that someone recommended me to him so he promise to help me win if we work together as one so I told him I’m ready to follow the instructions that is how we start and after the spell he give me a number to go and play after playing the game and I was surprise I win 56, 000,000 dollars this has never happen to me before and I’m also recommending you to this man call Dr Ayoola he is a good man and he always keep to his wells I have promise him that I will tell this to the world so if you are out there and you have been praying to win lottery here is the time for you to win contract Dr Ayoola now and be happy like me I will drop his contact information here so you can contact him email address drayoolasolutionhome @ gmail. com

  • God is just a rotten low life pathetic fool altogether for keeping so many of us men single today since meeting a good woman to just accept us for who we really are is very impossible now for most of us. Why is that? If only God had created most women like the old days when most women were very old fashioned and real ladies, then many of us men wouldn’t still be single today at all.

  • What most of us want is an equal share of what the world has to offer. The problem is that life isn’t fair, so we turn to God for help hoping he will do something. When he doesn’t, we start a cycle of despair that lasts the rest of our lives. That’s what has happened here and on every website where people are complaining about their life.

    Where do we get these ideas? From an early age, we are marketed with false hope, a false sense of reality, and false expectations. Driven by corporate greed and media lies, we are enticed and herded like idol-loving worker-bees so that a few can profit off the many. This is the system we live in.

    Some of those who “make it” identify as Christians. They have everything the world has to offer and according to them, Jesus made sure they got it. Most will say how he helped them accomplish a,b,c in order to get x,y,z. Most of them are indistinguishable from the world and lack any real compassion. They have the spirit of the world.

    You need to decide whether or not that’s the spirit you want. If it is, then Jesus is probably not going to be much help, as many of us have found.

    Some might say, “Don’t we have a right to a spouse, a family, a good job, friends, and a long life?” The answer is, “I don’t think so.” To some degree that’s what the world is chasing or trying to hold onto. These things are what we occupy our time and mind with in this life but they are not guaranteed nor do they guarantee happiness.

    So you can’t believe everything you hear, whether it is from leadership, media, or people. They all lie because it is in their best interest to lie. They also judge you based upon their standards. If you accept what they have to say then you will always be miserable.

    So the point here is that we have to quit willfully believing (worldly) propaganda and despairing over (our) reality. If it is God’s help we want, then we have to ask the question: “Where is God’s Holy Spirit?”

    Now, I’m going to stop it right here because you have to work this out on your own. In the days of the Apostles, they laid hands on people after their declaration of repentance and belief, and then they received the Holy Spirit from The Father in Jesus Name. Unfortunately, many of us are still wondering whether this ever happened to us? The answer is, “I don’t know.” What I do know is if you want freedom from this limbo and hell-world mentality then you will have to make some changes. You will have to OVERCOME your circumstances with God’s help. This is your CROSS TO BEAR until you are delivered.

    Here are some solid first-step suggestions to help those who want God’s help:

    You must pray to God in Jesus Name with humility asking for The Holy Spirit, wisdom, and peace.

    Have nothing to do with Evil or things that promote evil behavior.

    Consider every word before it comes out of your mouth (to people and God).

    Quit idolizing people, their lives, and their possessions.

    Be truly thankful for something.

    Be aware of your surroundings.

  • Have you been playing  lottery and you have been praying to God to help you win big cry no more. Dr Ayoola is here to help you out  God has sent him to put a smile on peoples faces. I came across some comments on my Facebook when I was  reading some comments on my facebook. someone he help talk about this man I was amaze and I have been playing lottery for so many years now and I have been praying to God to send someone my way to help me out so I contact this man and told him what I want he promise and assure me that I’m going to win i believe and follow instructions and today I’m here sharing the same testimony to my friend out here after I play the number Dr Ayoola gave to me I won the same of 67,million dollars am so grateful to you Dr Ayoola for your help if you are out there and you want to win big in lottery contact Dr Ayoola he will help you out like he did to me contact him now drayoolasolutionhome @ gmail. com

  • I am so done trying to believe when I just don’t. Nothing will or can help me. I just am so VERY TIRED!

  • If god does not answer, then he does not care. I know many people who begged for his help and when he did not answer they ended their lives and then god sends them to Hell.

  • And to think all that i ever wanted was to meet a good woman to settle down with, so that i could’ve had a family as well but still hasn’t happened yet for me. God really Cursed me with singleness. But why?

  • my wife very sudden 16 years ago while i was at work my son called me i rushed home and spent three days and night in the hospital.she was operated on but never woke up brain clot.i was angry wanted to die i felt God had left me it took 12 years of painful soul searching i still miss my wife everyday but came to realize that God had given me a great son who looks just like her he didn’t forget me and i know when my time comes i will be with my wife again what i am saying is God gave you free will that doesn’t mean he’s not with you it means you have to help yourself to get what you want weather your ugly or crippled God is with you.

  • Very very sorry to hear what happened to you. And i am not ugly and crippled at all, and yet i keep getting rejected by women since most women nowadays a real man haters as i can see. And a great deal of women nowadays as i can see are gay which i can really see why a lot of us single men have this problem meeting a good woman for ourselves, especially when many of us single men that i know including myself that had women Curse at us for no reason reason at all when we will try to start a conversation with them. Well that certainly doesn’t make any sense at all which unfortunately as i can see how very mentally disturbed that most of these women are nowadays which makes it very scary for many of us men trying to find love today. Unfortunately many of us were just doomed to be single and alone, even though it wasn’t really our choice at all to begin with.

  • Same thing I’ve read and listened to for the last twenty years at least. Prayed to God through Jesus Christ begging Him to take over my life and live in my heart because I can’t accomplish anything or stop my addictions or have just a little bit of relief from my suffering, mostly because of past behavior. I take full responsibility for my sins. I’ve prayed for others that were suffering worse than me. Lost my wife because of my sin. But I know without a doubt that I will never ever have any peace in my life on this earth. Only when I die from this miserable body and enter heaven will feel love that God will never let me feel again until then. No matter how bad it gets nothing will ever change my belief in the Lord Jesus Christ. God cares nothing about time but for me suffering for a little while like He says is more time than I can bear.

  • My wife left me 3 months ago and I’ve been struggling ever since I just want to die as well I have cancer as well that’s not getting any better. I miss my family and I just took so many pills I hope I don’t wake up . I can’t live without my family anymore and don’t want to

  • My life has been hard. Imagine not being told your family is worth billions and the evil people do to you,to try and ruin your character. My dad was murdered. Then two years ago,my step grandson (actually I think he was my real son) was murdered. God gave me a vision of his death,but I couldn’t prevent it. I miss him. I don’t want to live. I was Ezra’s protecter. He was 13 months. I don’t know what to do. My soul and heart are sad. My heart is failing.

  • Strong deep Depression always leads me here God knows I’m struggling hard. I don’t know what else to do. Suicide feelings always strong. My mom stepped on front of freight train so I know it’s in me. It will probably happen sooner then later.

  • If god died on the cross who was he always praying to himself hint it wasn’t god but the one who lead his angels a stray, this is why his death was so horrendous and god made sure he got his crown for his death paid for his sin to god !but look even the man who caused much pain to god made him a god on earth ! For Jesus referred to himself as the son of man 2000years before the concept of computer was even a concept ,he never said he was the Messiah!

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