Lately, I’ve been looking like the frumpy mom. It’s time things change.
So, I head to the store and grab a whole bunch of clothes, as if they will radically revamp what is helter-skelter – the stuffed drawers, the haphazard dinners, and my own disheveled look. New pants will fix it all.
I put on the first pair.
But, they’re made wrong. All wrong. I can’t get the dang things over my hips.
I throw them down and grab the next pair, dark jeans. These will do the trick. Except they don’t; they don’t trick anyone. And, that’s the problem. I can see the bulges. Another defective pair! Be gone!
I suck in, lengthen my torso and slightly lean over, as if my moves will grease the fabric. They don’t. The pants move like chalk on sandpaper. They suffocate my insides.
Ugh. It’s not only the pants, my hair looks horrible and my nose looks big too. Plus, these shadows in here are horrendous.
I squint at myself, silently hating – everything. These pants are all – problems!
Or are they?
What if the problem isn’t the pants?
What if it isn’t this room with dim lights?
What if the problem isn’t fabric, but – me?
What if I am more of a mess than I know?
What if these pants that reject me –
are symbolic of a world rejecting me?
What if my inability to look good
represents my incapability to do good in life?
What if I’ll never be more than me?
What if I always fall short?
Ever noticed that when one piece doesn’t fit, if you don’t get it before God, suddenly everything else doesn’t work either?
Will I turn to face him? Will you?
No matter where we stand? In a dressing room? In discouragement? In despair? In frustration? In aggravation? In ruin? In darkness?
Even in darkness light dawns for the upright, for those who are gracious and compassionate and righteous. (Psalm 112:4)
God’s dawn is lighting. It is for us. We think it is for others, but it is for us. Right there – in our dark rooms, the spaces that highlight our worst, that feature our folds and that cast bad shadows…
…even in these very places, God says, light is dawning…
For us, those who walk, not perfectly, but willingly, with God.
For us, ones gracious: kind and pleasant to our own selves.
For us, ones compassionate to the colossal shortcomings and massive mess-ups we are on the daily basis.
For us, ones growing in righteousness day-by-day.
And, for others, people we know – are aware of our faults.
For people, who can bust us.
For people, who no doubt can point out our flaws.
For people, who also make mistakes.
For people, who sometimes appear as problems.
God flips the light, in our darkness, as we flip our reactions over to love, peace and faith.
What happens is – through Christ – is we start seeing ourselves in good light.
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