Purposeful Faith

Letting Go of Control


I just read a book. It’s not even on a topic I thought I was struggling with, but good words always tend to find a good home in one ready to receive them.

These words did more than just that; they took my heavy baggage, bent them up and dropped them at my feet in a time-to-let go kind of way (dang, Lord, I wasn’t intending this!).

You see, when baggage breaks, it’s time to dump ’em, toss ’em and be done with ’em. And, now, I can see how messed up my baggage really is; it’s filled with stolen items, things I could only pretend to fully own. Things I tried to make myself believe would always be mine – that I could use to fill my needs.

But, I never owned them to begin with.

What we think is ours, always has and always will
belong to God.

He lends us what we love,
so we can see his love – for us.

What is lent is always called back home sometime, in God’s time.

In my heart, God is calling back the idea that I own my kids, my husband and my dreams – because I don’t. They always have and always will belong to him.

But letting go, feels like letting a dog run without a leash. It’s scary. Risky. Uncertain.

To let go of what I clench, to release my imprints and to undo my harness – it’s not work for the faint of heart. For so long, I have relied on these crutches as my own personal hopes of glory, hidden, but golden tickets to personal satisfaction and fulfillment.

But, what happens, one day, when God decides,
that I can no longer clutch and crutch –
right around his great promises?
What happens then?

Because, you see, something like this could happen: “My son purchased drugs which, combined with a beer later that evening, caused respiratory distress, resulting in death.” (Dance With Jesus, by Susan B. Mead)

What would I do then? When the kid that I supposedly owned, ruled and managed ended up – gone? Would I go down with him? Would my crutches be so swiped out from under me that my face would break in a million little pieces?

I think it might. I don’t know what I would do.

The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away; may the name of the LORD be praised.” Job 1:21

I suppose I am learning, it is in the taking away, that we often find the praise. At least that’s what happened with Susan, when she lost her son.

She says, “Do I want him back with me? Yes- for a moment. Then I realize how selfish that would be because he is now in Paradise with Jesus.”

Amen, sweet Susan.

Her words knock me in the head. She found her praise as she rose up her hands in abandon to the one who held her most prized possession.

She found her praise – in that. Wow. And, rightfully so, he can take care of her child far greater than she ever could (no offense dear).

He can take care of my family far better than I can too.

The more I let go, the more space my loved ones have to learn HE IS
who I am preach HE IS.

The more I let go, the more they know the great rescuer God,
verses the great rescuer mom, wife, daughter, sister.

The more I let go, the more they see Jesus step in,
rather than my need-based insecurities step up.

Then, people can start to Dance with Jesus – without crutches that limit their movements before a great God who delights in them.

They dance.

And, I dance – as I let my child climb in his seat by himself, as I let my husband make that mistake I know he is about to make, as I see a disaster ready to happen and trust God, as I step back when my kid may take a learning-lesson tumble, as I don’t give the advice a sister really should follow and as I humbly listen to all God’s plans for the main characters in this game called life.

I am free.

To find glory in the death of my goals.
To find renewal in God’s new breath of life.
To find hope outside of my 5-inch working hands.

Where do you need to be freed – to dance? To rely on the gentle guidance of one who cares?

This movement is powerful;
it’s a waltz that follows the lead of a One true God
who we actually believe is the One true God.

Real needs surface, then the rescue happens, but what we find out is that – it was always intended for us.

Finally, our hands open, our praises fly, our hopes belong to him. We no longer have strings attached to others. We cup and offer, and he answers and pulls these hearts even closer to him (whether they be on earth or in heaven).

Why do we let go? Because we love them, but most of all, we love him, we know him, and we trust him. In this, as Susan so vividly pictured in her book, we can let them – and us – dance with Jesus.

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God's miracles

My thoughts on Dance with Jesus: This book transports me to a different time and a different place. It wraps its arms around me to pull me into the life of Susan B. Mead, and boy, does she take me on a ride. The unique and charming characters in this book rally your heart and lure your soul into deep healing, joy and release all at the same time. The miracles of God’s wonder move you from a place grief to relief. Thank you Susan for jump-starting me on the journey of letting go.



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Kelly, a fun-loving, active and spunky mom of two rambunctious toddlers, spends her days pushing swings, changing diapers and pursuing the Lord with all her heart. Called a "Cheerleader of Faith", Kelly's greatest desire is to help women live passionately, purposefully and unencumbered for the Lord.

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9 CommentsLeave a comment

  • ‘But letting go, feels like letting a dog run without a leash.’ – I nearly got knocked over by a dog running (gloriously, happily, but way too energetically) wild yesterday. I have the bruise to show for it. And I was right there with Job in the One Year Bible readings today. The rescuing-trap is a biggie – huge for me too. If we stop holding on, it gives us empty hands for God to fill, space for Him to work… we know this, but God, help us to live it more and more.

  • Kelly, what a beautiful post. I’ve always tried to remember that my kids are actually God’s, on loan to me for a little while. But I hadn’t thought about what it would look like if He decided to take them Home. If I was/am holding onto them at all as a crutch (or as part of my identity, or any other “use”), I would tumble hard.

    I love the way you shared how, when we get out of the way, God can teach our kids to lean on Him, and look to Him for everything they need.

    I’m visiting from FMF.

  • Good to see you at Susan’s today, Kelly. LOVED this post. Really LOVED this post! I’ve had such a tight clutch on my kids in the past, nail marks remain as proof. (OK, not really, but you know what I mean…) You’ve hit the nail on the head and the target dead-center. We just won a spiritual lotto with an understanding like you’ve expressed. We’ve stepped into a life filled with peace, overwhelmed with trust and God. This was one of my favorite lines: “The more I let go, the more they know the great rescuer God, verses the great rescuer mom, wife, daughter, sister.” Truth, such truth. Have a fabulous weekend! (PS….just finished reading the book myself. Loved it.)

  • Such powerful words, filled with truth. I know this has been a struggle for me, letting go of my children, trusting them completely into His hands. I worked so hard for most of my life to protect myself, and wasn’t very good at it really. Then, when my children came along, I held them close, wanting to protect them from harm. I am learning, although slowly, to trust Him with these precious treasures.
    Blessings and hugs,

  • It is so hard to let go but there is gift in letting go. So often we get caught up in what our neighbors have…bigger boats etc but as my colleague reminded me a long time ago, it isn’t even ours to begin with. Those things won’t go with us to heaven. I want to let go and let God lead in the waltz if life too.

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