Lately, a lighter is flicking within me. A full-blown fire is brewing. I feel furious at some moments, then hate myself for these feelings the next. I keep getting inflamed, and frankly, I don’t know what to do about it.
Anger combusts in attempt to handle what we can’t control.
I can’t control a kid. I say, “Stay in your seat.”
He turns to his sister and says, “Nope, we’re not going to do that, are we sis?”
I aim to keep the car clean, but then he holds up a nut then drops it on the floor right in front of me. He won’t do what I want him to do, so I do the only thing that grabs attention: I get angry.
I snap, “You’re cleaning the whole car after school and your room.”
Gone is love, and present is the lonely feeling no one is for me. Gone is patience, and present is a pressing need to make him line up to my ways. Gone is a woman who connects with his heart, and present is the one who stomps on it.
Sometimes I hate myself. Grrr….I hate how I act. And this feeling is SO painful.
Do you feel it too? Do you hate how you do what you don’t mean to do? Do you hate how you get angry?
May I remind you and me? God is not angry at us for our anger.
God:
-“is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love.” Ps. 103:8
-is forgiving.
-is waiting and ready to help us change.
-is our answer when we feel out of control and don’t what to do.
With these truths, I am reminded I can:
1. Forgive the 7+ times I’m offended in a day.
2. Embrace 5 seconds of silence, while expecting God to show me my way.
3. Say sorry for my wrongs. I can admit the emotions that lay dormant under my anger.
(Example: I felt disregarded by my son when he dropped the nut on the ground)
4. Uncover the lie I am believing as it pertains to this unruly, anger-producing emotion.
(New truth as it pertains to my lie: Even if everyone else fails me, God will uphold me.)
5. Give thanks to God for the growth He is doing in me.
6. Pray for the people who hurt me and release them into His hands.
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I especially like Step #2. Give myself 5 seconds. (or 5 minutes) Thanks for sharing so transparently here. We all feel the same way some days.
I love these tips. I love even more that you are writing about anger. So often it is looked down on, hidden, and not talked about. But it is so real (at least for me). I can relate to the feelings, the frustration, the battle. Thank you for sharing so honestly.
Some days are just not as easy as others! God help us! Thanks for this reminder, Kelly. Blessings to you.
Wonderful tips. There have been times, I needed more than 5 seconds (#2) and went to stay in my bedroom with the door shut until I was in a better mood. It’s good to bring this topic out in the open rather than thinking we never get angry. So helpful!
Your stories brought back so many memories of that helpless feeling of anger washing over me, changing my whole view of the universe! Amazing how such strong feelings of love can live beside such fiery anger. Thanks for sharing honest words about real life, and for your thoughts on handling those thoughts in a Christ-exalting way.
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Thank you for delivering this to me! I have a sister that has a disability and I got really angry with her yesterday and beat myself up about it all day long! I know the root of my anger is the fact that she’s my only sibling and I’m angry that “this is what I have to deal with” “why can’t my only sibling be healthy” it’s my own issues that I have to deal with and as much as I pray about it the anger gets to me sometimes bc she has no control over some things. However who has no control…ME!
Ohhh, Kelly this is good today. Because yes this just happened to me, and is probably the most frequent thing I need help with right now. Being a moms tests the boundaries I feel, yet I am screaming inside at times feeling like a kid myself. I am so thankful he is patient and love us anyways, like we do with ours (but have a harder time showing it lol). I’d rather read these kinds of mom posts any day by the way. Appreciate you!
I love step #2. One I sometimes forget. Another thing that helps me is to realize that anger is almost always a secondary emotion and if I uncover the first (like you did) and deal with it the outcome will be better. I am wondering what is behind the dropping of the nut on the floor?
Great list!
Spot on….love this! Thank you! Be blessed today!
Jenny
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We have to be angry and sin not, Jesus was aware of our human limits, it appears there are lots of little tormenting spirits out there ready to rile us and unfortunately some people do love to annoy you. It’s okay to walk a way and regroup. Children are especially in need of redirection, the enemy’s time is short and would truth up the heat, but we have Jesus, the greater one.
Sorry, it should say… turn up the heat.
I always say that because of my children I have experienced every emotion. Anger is one of them whether justified or not. I’m glad that I’ve learned to go to God when I’m angry so that I can wisely know how to handle what’s in front of me.
We’ve likely all felt that anger rise up within us with our children. 🙁 But thankfully this is true: “God is not angry at us for our anger.” Well-said! Thanks for your authenticity in sharing, Kelly.
This is definitely convicting! I love your point about uncovering the lie that you’re believing – I think that is such a sneaky way for Satan to push us toward anger even more. But thanks be to God for His grace and love toward us!
Man, anger is a hard one. I’m not an explosive person, but I’m definitely a grudge-carrier and a fault-rehearser. Thank you for reminding me to pause and seek God in the moments when all I can see is red.
It’s never pretty when we get a good look at our own hearts, is it? The kids God gave us and all the other circumstances are designed by our loving Father to reveal them to us … as you have explained … not because He’s angry at us. In His love, He wants to help us grow and change. Thanks for sharing and hosting.