Her: “I told you I didn’t want the banana.”
Me: “You did?”
Her: “Oh, wait, I said that to you in my mind.”
This really happened. Someone told me in her mind and expected me to hear, I guess. It seemed crazy. Outlandish. Ridiculous.
But is it?
How many times do we speak our mind within our mind, only hoping that another will pick up on what we are saying.
We think: I wish that boy would pick up his clothes.
We act: All huffy and puffy about bending over.
We think: Why can’t she be on time?
We act: Impatient, looking at our watch the second she walks in the door to prove our point.
In our mind, we often have a running tally of what others are doing and saying wrong. But unlike the girl who didn’t want the banana, we don’t admit it. Instead, it builds and builds and builds…
Until….dun. dun. Dun… the day. . . dun. Dun. Dun…we EXPLODE!!!!!! And we go off on the person. We lose our cool and do the opposite of this:
“Love is patient, love is kind (1 Cor. 13:4)”…and “slow to become angry.” Ja. 1:19
How did we get here?
I’ll tell you how. We weren’t honest. Instead, we were thinking inside of our mind and living in fear of being truthful. The problem with this is that a truth not spoken and pent-up eventually bursts out of the pot at caustic and scalding temperatures that leave others feeling burned. Yee-oww!
God intends we go another way. We are told the truth will set us free – and it will. What is your truth? What freedom do you need to get from God?
You may need to:
1. Confess your frustration to God and ask Him what He has to say about it.
2. Admit it to an accountability partner and ask for prayer and help.
3. Talk to the person about your aggravation.
But don’t keep it on the inside. It is a hot pot about to boil over and the pain of it all does hurt.
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13 CommentsLeave a comment
Great suggestions here for overcoming a problem I think we all have. We think people can read our minds, or what sounds obvious to us will be to them as well. But it isn’t. I’m going to pray about a situation bothering me right now. 🙂
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Oh, Amen! This is a hard one, and one that I am so guilty of. I struggle to find ways to speak my mind in love, but also to let things go sometimes. As I get older I realize that not every internal truth needs to be spoken; sometimes they are just for us. My Grandma used to tell me that someday I’ll realize being honest doesn’t mean saying everything; I never believed her. My Grandma may have been right after all! Finding that balance between truth and what we speak is key.
This is such a practical post! What a great goal for a new year: to banish the martyr complex that makes us all attitude-and-eyeballs by simply speaking out loud our hopes and expectations!
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It makes me feel so much better to hear I’m not the only one….
It’s a new year, so I’m going to work harder on this…
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This is a tough one for me…my mind is constantly speaking it’s mind, but I’m learning that it’s okay to be honest. It doesn’t have to be harsh it can still be gentle, but honest…it’s so freeing!!!!
As an aspiring writer it was frustrating, I was good at dialogue. I could tell you exactly, if I say this, they’ll say that and be right. If I said nothing, I was losing my mind which is a part of the soul. I felt as though I was playing mental chess with the devil and losing, I was never good at chess. But the key is thinking good thoughts, believing what God says, replacing those accusations, letting the Holy Spirit calm you with love. You don’t have to be a chess master, just know the Master, don’t let the devil draw you into mind games, it’s exhausting, depressing, and detrimental.
Aggravation: the “approved” Christian sin – Lord, have mercy. great post, Kelly!
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Yes, we all do this. I needed to be reminded love is patient. I have a friend that starts conversations in his/her mind and then lets me in 3/4 down the road. I feel so frustrated and lack patience. I have no idea what we are even talking about. I sometimes don’t respond in a patient way and just pull away. Great post!
You make some great points here! I guess we are not even honest with ourselves sometimes. Or we are in denial, maybe? I wonder what we are actually afraid of sometimes when we choose to keep the conflict inside when we really ought to say something? But it really is silly to expect others to read our minds. I sure don’t like it when someone does that to me! “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”