They couldn’t shake me awake.
“Kelly, Kelly, Kelly…”
Completely gone, on the blue and yellow tiles of the bathroom floor, I just laid there, dead-like…
Immovable. Still. Minutes passed.
“Should we call the ambulance?”
My mind tracked back to this memory the other day.
How did I ever let myself get there? How did I ever get so gone?
It’s embarrassing to think back to and even more embarrassing to write about. Worst yet, it wasn’t the first time I’d gotten myself into such a horrible condition.
No one knew all the problems I had in my heart: they didn’t know the needs of my family, or how I constantly exerted myself as their protector. They didn’t know how wildly incapable I was to do either of these things. And how failure and fear lurked around every waking corner of my life.
No one knew me.
No one saw me.
I existed, but not really.
Then the nights came and my mind didn’t have to live anymore. I could soothe it with alcohol. Things didn’t have to bother me anymore.
Praise God, today, I am a new creation. You are too.
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! (2 Cor. 5:17)
What old memory do you try to forget? The embarrassment and shame of yesterday that you hope is gone? Guess what? It is.
Not only that, but the “new” is here. You are remade, no longer used, and made fresh. The whole script gets rewritten.
But let’s look deeper. The Greek word for “new” is “kainos.” This word also means, “of a new kind, unprecedented, uncommon and unheard of.”
Knowing this kind of “new” changes everything. You see:
-Where we were always common and unseen, we are now of an unprecedented variety.
-Where we were ordinary, we are now an uncommon crafting of His extravagant making.
-Where we were unseen and unknown, we are now unheard of. Wow. We are a new kind, of beautiful.
We are what we always wanted, hoped, dreamed and desired to be. We’ve been recreated by the Creator of all creators, into His kind of beautiful. Unlike anyone else, He’s fashioned us into His type of special. Our past is gone and the new is here. In God’s eyes, we are simply unprecedented.
What would it look like for you to accept that you’re now uncommonly beautiful? A new kind of special? Uncommonly full of Christ?
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3 CommentsLeave a comment
You are taking huge leaps of faith in your writing and I see and appreciate it. Keep going!
Thank you for sharing your story
We have so very much in common although I haven’t yet found my beautiful. I won’t stop searching
My journey so far is headed into its eleventh year God willing one day at a time
Thank you and may God bless you abundantly
Praying God does for us like Joseph, causes us to forget.