Purposeful Faith

5 Ways You Believe God Doesn’t Love You

Causes of Hypocrisy

Are you anything like me? Do you ever find yourself running one-hundred miles an hour (which is a separate issue altogether), then crashing into the wall of, “I am exhausted,” “I just royally messed up” or “God, he left me?”

When we hit the wall of faith, what tumbles down, often, is not the actions of our faith. In fact, sometimes, we can resurrect those even higher, wider and more diligently. But, many times, what tumbles is our underlying belief about God. Our trust of him. Our stronghold in him.

After repeated hits against this wall, our inner words eventually ring untrue making our outer words ring shallow. Our outsides end up displaying works that our insides are not so certain about. Our external life reflects irritation because our internals got stuck on an emotional rat race we never really wanted to be a part of, but still, we run like caged lunatics. 

The ways to stop being hypocritical may surprise you. They are not ways that straighten your faith with the perfect windexed imaged of shine. I am not going to tell you: mean what you say and say what you mean, choose to really love, stop doubting, check your heart, and get your words right. Although these things are important, they will fall like seeds on 3-feet deep pavement if not coupled with getting to the root of the problem.

So, what makes our heads what to spontaneously combust with disappointment, shame and disgust after we fumble the ball of faith?

Hypocrites Truth #1: If we aren’t receiving the power of God’s love,
we can never really flow God’s powerful love.

We love because he first loved us. 1 Jo. 4:19

5 Ways You Believe God Doesn’t Love You (& How He Does)

1. God is mad at you.

He sees your every move and this includes your mess-ups (true). He is furious that you can’t get your act together (false).

2. God is disgusted with your actions.

He loves me (true), but he doesn’t like me (false).

3. God is looking to punish you.

He is a God of righteousness (true), therefore, just about every moment, he is watching to see the bad you will commit so he can relegate you to the corner, dunce hat and all (false).

4. God doesn’t really care about you.

He is so high and mighty, he has more important people to attend to over you (false). He cares about the poverty stricken in Ethopia, the homeless on the Windy City streets and children enslaved (true), not you (false).

5. God won’t come through for you. 

He cares about your great heavenly rescue (true), but he doesn’t care so much about earthly rescue from small problems (false).

Hypocrites Truth #2: God is not removing his hand from you, he is putting his hand on you.

He is not running the opposite direction, he is running your direction, arms open, eyes wide and smile big. He looks at you, his child, his fullness, his created image and he wants every single part of you. He has a jealous love for you. God wants you more than anything you want in your life.

Will you believe? Rather than hitting the wall of defeat, why not hit the floor dancing and swinging and moving to the new beat of his love. He asks you to dance. Will you?  Grab hold of his life-giving hand and move in authenticity, truthfulness and love. He will take care of you. If believing is hard, take a moment to pray.


Dear Lord God, help me to believe that you are compassionate, merciful and slow to anger (Ps. 145:8). Help me to be okay with the idea that as a sinner, I am in continual need of a Savior. Help me to trust that you don’t require proud perfection, but humble submission. Thank you that each time I fall is a chance to know your love in a greater capacity. Thank you that each time I drive wedges between myself and others, you stand ready to renew me in grace. Thank you God that you care about the details of my life, my heart and my spiritual progress. Make me more like you, less like me, so I can experience more of you. Less fearing your judgement and more trusting your love. Less agonizing over my problems and more bringing them to you. May you make me into a pure vessel of your love. Amen.

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Kelly, a fun-loving, active and spunky mom of two rambunctious toddlers, spends her days pushing swings, changing diapers and pursuing the Lord with all her heart. Called a "Cheerleader of Faith", Kelly's greatest desire is to help women live passionately, purposefully and unencumbered for the Lord.

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33 CommentsLeave a comment

  • I love this: “If we aren’t receiving the power of God’s love, we can never really flow God’s powerful love.” We have to let Him in and be filled by Him, before we can truly experience and share all He has to offer us.

  • Make me more like you, less like me, so I can experience more of you. Amen! Thank you Kelly for this push ♥ And thank you for morning prayer time. It is so good!! I know it must be a hardship on you every day but I know people are benefiting from it and I believe those that do not know how to pray are learning. Blessings to you.

  • Kelly, I wish I could say that all your words were foreign to me and I’d never felt or thought that way. So sad. Even with all the truth we have in the Bible, we still mis-characterize God as a cosmic kill-joy. Thanks for setting our hearts on a right path!

  • Life can so easily become so crazy busy. We need to remember to take time to rest. I’m reading Simply Tuesday by Emily P. Freeman and I thought of her book as I read your first paragraphs here today. Great post. Visiting from FMF where I’m parked in the #6 spot.

  • Where was God’s love during the holocaust or any other mass genocide? I’m sure the prayers were flowing like crazy and yet these events still happen. That is not love. I know if my kids were in danger I’d step in and do whatever I could. If he truly exists, it’s only for selfish purposes. He wants everyone to kiss his ass and give nothing in return. All it would take is 1 time of him showing up to convince the world of him, yet it hasn’t happened.

    • We can never on earth understand the reasons for horrific suffering such as the Holocaust much like believers cannot convince you that you words ring untrue. God created man as a free thinker and there is unfathomable evil in this world. Those are the reasons we witness history of man’s cruel actions against others. We much take these situations and never allow them to repeat. We must have faith and courage and every single day stand for those who continue to suffer at the hands of evil worldwide. We may not observe Holocaust behavior today but we are very aware of injustice even in our hometowns. Are we fighting for dignity and human rights or do we observe the news and think it’s someone else’s problem or God’s uncaring hand that allows it to continue? It wasn’t God who allowed the Holocaust. It was people…people who enacted it and people who failed to act against it! It’s not always what happens in life, it’s what we do with it that makes things change. Are we as individuals doing enough to better this life? Or do we only blame God?

    • It did happen, He sent His son. We wanted our free will to choose for ourselves, right from wrong and so we were cast out. He let us have our free will not being an ogre, but a gentleman, and know intimately sin and death, and all the horrors therein. Yet, he still found a way for us to be forgiven of our imperfect choices, to be rescued from this world. The mystery is why when we are redeemed we don’t leave to be with Him right away, perhaps that would ruin other’s chances for finding faith, or cause too much pain. When you feel God’s Holy Spirit you know he hasn’t forgotten us, we are not in Heaven or Hell, but working out, or proving our faith, here in this middle land where there is goodness and evil. If you truly hate evil it should drive you full steam back to God. I know it has me, and all the horrible suffering I’ve had in my life. I can give God a try again, because he first gave me a second chance with the gift of his son’s sacrifice. What went wrong was our obstinate desire to choose for ourselves, instead of blind obedience, and this is now our course. If you don’t follow the initial map given, you then have to take a longer, harder more torturous route home, like hiking 9 hours instead of 3 from a wrong turn, exposed to the elements, wild animals, your own frustrations, doubts, hunger, dehydration etc only all this spiritually too. Goodluck. Find your way home, choose goodness. I don’t know why he gave me a choice should have roped me in for all the suffering. Maybe it’s about voluntarily surrendering your free choice since we’re not omnipotent and Earth proves it.

  • I feel like God doesn’t love me anymore.Life is so tough , I have thoughts of suicide, I feel so lost and lonely, nobody loves me or cares about me. I have no friends, no Job , no boyfriend,and I am 30. I am miserable

    • This is a pretty intense comment to have lost to the wind. I hope you’re still with us Jackie and that life has taken a turn for the better. Depression is a real disease and treatment does often help. Please look into local health services. Even if it’s just temporary to get you through a rough patch. Another thing that I have found to alleviate that feeling is the help someone who is also suffering. Even if it’s just a dog or cat who needs someone. Chin up.

      Btw, I’m agnostic on the good days and I really don’t buy into what this cheerleader is selling, but your post was on my kid’s birthday and it caught my eye, so who knows. 😉

    • @ Jackie I hope you are here? I have felt your words even as I write this but reading your post makes me want to reach out to you. Don’t suffer alone! You are not. Please respond. I want to help. I sincerely hope the author has read these comments and has reached out to you too! We can’t only publish a book of hope without following up with the websites comments. Whoever you are Jackie, I’m praying for you. ❤️

    • I’ve been married twice and have had several boyfriends. You’re not missing anything but misery. All the things you want and hope for from a relationship won’t happen.

      He will quickly grow bored of sex with you and turn to pornography and other women.

      No matter how well and how long you take care of him when he’s sick or hurt, he won’t reciprocate.

      You’ll be his emotional punching bag. Anything that bothers him or gets him upset will be taken out on you.

      He will be a feminist about finances, meaning both of you should work, but old fashioned about housework and childcare meaning those thinks will be your responsibility.

      Learn to use tools or find good mechanics, landscapers, and handymen. Whenever “mans work” comes up, he will blow you off, distract you by picking a fight, or deliberately screw it up so bad that you’ll never ask him to do it again.

      He will constantly dig at you and belittle you. When it hurts you, he will tell you that you’re just being dramatic and can’t take a joke.

      He will constantly withhold affection and approval just barely out of reach. Compliments will always be backhanded; “this would be really good if it wasn’t too salty” or “she makes even you you skinny.”

      You’ll spend your birthdays going to his favorite restaurants and opening presents that he bought for you for himself. He was into high end computer games. He bought me a supercharged computer mouse that I didn’t need. He hooked it to his computer then gave me his old mouse, saying it worked out great because he saw my mouse wasn’t working anymore, and this way, he didn’t have to spend extra money buying the mouse he wanted. Same thing will happen for Christmas.

      He will pick fights on Valentines and anniversaries until you get to the point that you won’t mention them and hope he forgets.

      Don’t get a boyfriend, get a pet. A pet will actually love you if you take care of it.

  • The question is why is evil becoming greater then good (God). we are taught that God loves us but it is hard to believe when you are constantly being hit by the evil of men. You pray to God but it is the evil that ends up being manifest. Is it that in our current world evil has overcome the good. When you pray and rely on God’s help does it make you more vulnerable to evil?

  • No job for two years now. I have prayed, sought God. I have hoped, believed and waited. Sometimes I feel he abandoned my case. Is anything bigger than he? Failed interviews, I needed that job more than the others. God please help me.

  • Hello I am new to your blog. I have been struggling forever 40 years with horrible things happening in my life I keep going to God and ask him to the best of my ability and knowledge and just pure blinded faith for him to help me for him to take away the things that are hurting my heart so bad to take away the health issues that have literally ruined my life. Sometimes I find the comments in these blogs to be so heart wrenching to me, because these other women get it, I don’t the only thing I know is that I love God and I love Jesus in the spirit and I believe he is who he says he is however I don’t know how to be filled up by him I’ve tried reading the Bible, I’ve tried so hard to let go and let him change things and nothing Never changes if anything another wave hits and it’s worse than the one before now at 48 years old I’m exhausted I’m sad and every area of my life is under spiritual attack real spiritual attack. I was I can do is lay here and just repeat the name Jesus over and over because I don’t even know what to pray anymore I’m sorry I don’t have any sugarcoated comment to make this is the best that I can do I just don’t feel i’m in the bracket of people that deserve his blessings it’s just heart wrenching to me that none of my prayers come true except for a few that really have to do with other people the suffering I’ve had to endure has colored every milestone in my life with bad memories. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong people say to read the Bible I read it now I don’t understand it I pray all the time people say just let it go I don’t know what that meansBecause when I do that and I wait I wait I wait for months years nothing changes I know we’re all only human but I’m at the end of my resources I feel cast out I feel defeated.

  • I am years late, but I needed this. For so long I fall away because I feel God just doesn’t like me, why would he, when you grow up with people who treat you as if they don’t love you it is hard to view yourself as lovable by anyone. I thank you so much for writing this and the prayer. I will repeat it every day.

  • I grew up being taught to believe and trust God. Now I just don’t know anymore. I’m struggling just to eat and survive. I am alone and hungry. I have no food. Where is God now! As I type this I am contemplating Suicide. The tears are rolling and I’m so depressed.
    I thought he was suppose to take care of me. I’m alone and this life isn’t worth it anymore. I have no family to help and I’m lost.
    When this is read I’ve already taken the first attempt on my life.
    I’m struggling and have no food.

    • Hello Brittany, I can assure you that God loves you and does not want you to feel discouraged and defeated. Please if you get the chance read the book of
      Job. I lost my mother this year, and my father two years prior. I am no stranger to sadness. But sometimes in life we get distracted, get blinded by grief. What we fail to realize is that God is preparing you for something greater. I can tell you Jesus is real he is alive, he thinks about you more than there are grains of sand in the sea! Praise Jesus! I had been unemployed for
      months, I prayed with a pastor friend of mine about a job, and in less than eight hours I had received a phone call about a job, and not just any job, but a supervisor position! and I give Jesus the glory! because I didn’t do that on my own! I give the glory to Jesus! and he will do the same for you!

  • I can say to many of these commenters who are struggling and feel so very defeated. Remember there is a devil and he is out there working overtime. Whatever you do you HAVE to change your mindset. It’s very hard for God to work when your mind is constantly on the evil that’s around you. Yes read the bible but more than that, really tell God how you feel. Yell at him, he can take it. Go find someone who can pray with you. When 2 or more are praying I will be there is what Jesus said. Do I know the verse and book? Nope I just know what He says. He loves you all VERY VERY MUCH. He died for us. How much more loving can you get?! This life is hard and no where is there a promise from God we will have it easy on earth. If we love God then I believe we have a crappy life lol how can you love God and expect the world to be kind to you? Two opposing sides can’t agree. I’ve been down and I have depression and anxiety and suicidal thoughts but I keep pressing on because if God wanted me to die, I’d be gone by now. I’m going to pray for y’all. Please keep your faith in God and remember even when He seems gone he’s right there walking with you. He talks to us the more you talk to Him. That’s my experience anyways.

  • I guess that the easiest way to say this is straight forward. God hasn’t done anything in my lifetime that projects His love. Yes the whole Jesus thing was a form of God’s love for us. Big time. There is no one alive to attest to what God did way back then. Could it be time for God to do something to prove Himself in this time.? I think that would be very helpful. God staying hidden and silent, is not my idea of showing us how much He loves us. Maybe the old saying “action speaks louder than words” has some truth to it. I can say I love you all day long, but without an action to prove it, those words are meaningless. Past actions don’t necessarily apply to the here and now. I love God and Jesus, I just wish that they would return the feeling in a way that I can perceive. Is love actually love, when there’s no action? Thanks and may God Bless You, in Jesus name, Amen

  • I have been trying to conceive for the past 10 years. I have fallen pregnant 3 times, 2 times via IVF (IVF is very expensive where I live, am still paying the loans I took out). I lost them all, did not even reach 5 weeks. I’ve undergone a number of Laparotomy and laparoscopy before and after the IVF’s. I have been a good person all my life and still try to live by the book. Most of the time I feel that God does not love me, or he is punishing me. But I still pray everyday for my situation to change, or to at least be told once and for all that I will never be a mother and hopefully make peace with it. At times I find myself not wanting to hear anything about God, I am angry with him for my suffering, yes I blame him at times.

  • My boyfriend broke up with me 4 months ago but finally came back with the help of Robinsonbuckler11@ gmail .com………Thank you SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much!!!!!

  • Thank you for writing this. I was having trouble sleeping tonight. I was thinking I was at fault for everything wrong in my life. I was so worried and scared god didn’t love me. This right here helps me cheer up to get a good nights rest. Thanks again

  • Your very wrong. Let’s speak on what we know or at least who God states that he apparently is.

    First we know that God created the world and everything in it and that he also sustains it. Maker of all, the great I am. In a nutshell like the Bible says there is no one higher. Ok now knowing that
    Let’s look at your thoughts but one thing I want you to remember is that. God does not treat us equally ( I really wish he did) he treats you differently than the way he treats me so how I come up with my theories and thoughts is based on the treatment I get from him now I understand we’re not supposed to look at others and just keep our eyes focused on him but I believe that that is the problem he wants you so fixated on him that you don’t see what’s going on around you totally oblivious blinded as the Bible states. There is a reason for this if you by any means look at somebody else and see how God is blessing them how God comes through for them how God expedites situations ( the way I grew up I was under the assumption that God does not work fast. You have to pray about it and let God see your true desire for it.) i’m not blaming God for the assumption that I had wrong I am blaming God for the people he put in my life that agreed with the assumption I know I have control over my mind my thoughts the other one I didn’t unfortunately we don’t pick and choose who we want to have in our lives it just happens randomly and sporadically so the way I feel is what’s gods responsible for the things that we can’t control. That’s just the tip of the iceberg. You feel the way you feel because your the type of person that received so much. God wanted me to stay focused on him and only look at him and not look at people like yourself I may not know you your background and all that stuff but one thing right now is that when somebody thinks so highly about some thing or someone it must be because it came through for you before and depending on your ambition or intuition maybe he comes through for you all the time so you’re Gung ho about God being faithful and that God loves us it’s not mad at us and all these other things that you stated this is the way he treats you OK he doesn’t treat me that way I promise you he’s looking to punish me he doesn’t like me because I don’t wanna be a slave he doesn’t like me because I realized what truth is he doesn’t like me because things have happened in my life where I was able to point things out and say you are who you say you are so when I die I don’t know where I’m going but my destinations are already set I can’t do anything to help God control my situation. Rely on God to not come through he always live up to that once you know who it is that your dealing with

  • Lucky you. You must be one of His chosen. I’m not. He obviously doesn’t give a flying fuck about me.

  • God is like that parent who never came home and still wants full credit for raising you. I don’t think God is disgusted by my actions. I walk the straight & narrow and make good choices and he’s done nothing to help that. If anything he sets me up to fail time and time again and I find the higher road anyway. Always alone.

  • God can say anything He wants, but that doesn’t make it so. Words don’t matter, only actions matter. And His actions in my life make it clear He neither cares about me or loves me. You don’t treat those you love the way He’s treated me (or the world for that matter). Not once in my life has He been there for me when I really needed Him. I’m 58 and can’t identify a single meaningful blessing He’s given me. He cursed me before I was born (it is Biblical for God to drive people away for some twisted purpose) and has tortured me all my life. I haven’t had a single prayer answered the way I sought. I know He won’t answer all of our prayers, but not even one? It’s so bad, there are times I actually pray for the opposite of what I seek because usually that’s what I get, the opposite. And He clearly doesn’t know me or He’d know that we can NEVER have a close relationship as long as He keeps treating me this way. People say “He wants you to trust Him”. But, He lost my trust long ago. And trust is earned, not given, even God.

  • God does not love me. He laughs at my misery and piles it on. All of my life has been a struggle filled with disappointment and failure. I’ve taken all the right steps to be successful, and I am never blessed. God does not love me.

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