God abandoned me in my time of need.
He left his daughter in the desert of nothingness.
The blessing-keeper forgot his role.
The one who was supposed to come through, didn’t.
I am not afraid to admit for a moment, I whined like this – like a baby.
I didn’t get what I wanted.
Waaa!!!! I cried, until I found my daddy and found consolation in his arms. As he held me in love, I could start to grab hold of the truth: not getting could be God’s bigger gift. It highlights the barriers blocking contentment.
It was a lightbulb, sight-in-the-darkness, there-is-power-in-the-pain kind of moment.
Surely, when we “get” – all is good. We are happy, joy-filled and thankful, but, what happens when we don’t get the good gifts we expect?
Here, we start to see what our heart is really after.
Our spiritual thought life surfaces.
We can take notice of our sprint (or crawl) time to prayer.
Do we throw a temper tantrum
or do we temper our hearts in the truth of God?
The desire, idols and pursuits of our heart shine in this place. We can see them for what they are.
What do you see when God doesn’t give to you?
Our tantrums highlight the great heart work will complete.
He sees our pain and it certainly doesn’t pains him too.
But, he allows it because he is working something even more magnificent, more fantastic and more glory-filled than our initial want.
Many times, he doesn’t settle for the immediate gift, because he is working an entire heart makeover.
“Not getting” teaches us how to put this (often seemingly impossible) verse into action:
I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. (Phil. 4:12)
God’s best gift is learning how to keep our dedication
as steady as an arrow
and our feelings as sure as a bullet,
despite the size of the enemy coming against.
Then we can find true joy and peace.
This gift lasts forever.
It doesn’t rust and end up in the attic months later.
When we find God, we find stability. Not stability due to a circumstantial blessing, hope, dream or wish, but steady footing in the knowledge he is bringing us to a better place.
I pray, today, that I can see all that I don’t get as an indicator of all that I already have. I pray that I will take notice of my heart condition to see how it may need a course-redirect. I ask God not to always give me what I want in order that I can receive the better gift, which is him. The power is not in the getting, but in the beholding.
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It’s hard to see His grace in those moments of disappointment, isn’t it? Even when we try to remind ourselves He doesn’t want us to settle for less than the fullness of what He has planned. But I absolutely love that He’s big enough to handle our reactions. His arms are strong enough to hold us when we’re flailing and shouting, and tender enough to wait until we surrender.
Hi Crystal, I know what you mean. It is easy to feel down. I love the words of your last sentence. He is enough. How true it is.
Holy moly have I been wrestling with this this past year! So much so that the post I wrote today is about this exact same thing! I’m learning that God is big enough to handle my disappointment, and sometimes the wrestling with Him as I process it all is what helps me to actually see Him face to face like Jacob did. So, so good, Kelly! Thanks for this encouragement. 🙂
Lauren, I know how that is. He is so big. He just wants us to see him. Sometimes I think faith is just boiled down to this: “Keep your eyes on me.”
What a beautiful post, Kelly. I love Philemon 4:12. I have it printed on canvas in my office! It gives me the perspective I need when I am experiencing a season of tempering.
Amen! That is the cry of my heart – to REALLY be that way.
Amen, Kelly. Amen.
Thanks Lois! Much love to you.
Kelly, this here… “When we find God, we find stability. Not stability due to a circumstantial blessing, hope, dream or wish, but steady footing in the knowledge he is bringing us to a better place.”
He’s chosen to work way down deep under the surface of things instead of just the surface of my circumstance… why do I forget that??? Why do I forget the former has a lasting value the latter will never have? I’m working on allowing Him to really take me back to school on this… thanks for once again revealing His heart exactly when I needed it 🙂 Hugs, lady!
I know, when we get into the monotony of life, it can be so easy to forget, can’t it? Much love to you Christine, make no mistake, he is working on you and me powerfully. We can’t always see it, but he is.
Kelly,
Your closing prayer really spoke to me…especially the part about what I don’t get being an indicator of all that I already have. I have been dealing with some physical difficulties that have found me in a bit of a pity party for myself…thanks for lifting my eyes off myself and back onto Him where my ultimate contentment is found. Praying for His grace to be sufficient.
Blessings,
Bev
I praise God that it spoke Bev. I am praying for his grace to be sufficient for us both too. If we can grab hold of that we have so much.
Hi Kelly!! Thank you so much for sharing, I really needed this today! Just another wonderful “Heavenly smack upside the head” moment!
I praise God for this Abby! Thank you so much for letting me know. It’s a gift to hear how Gods’ words work.