Do you ever find it is hard to share your truth? To be honest with others about what you need, want or desire?
I “get it”. You see, in a couple of weeks, I plan to go to a conference. It will be a long drive there, I’m excited about it. I plan to listen to some podcasts, pray, sing songs and have some time to think about my writing and what God may want to say. Long drives tend to be a time of reflection, introspection and seeking God. A time when I can more clearly hear God and understand what He is calling me to do. A time of “breakthrough”.
Well, one day, when hanging out with a friend, I casually mentioned this event to her. Before I knew it, we were kind of planning to go together. I am not entirely sure how it happened. All of a sudden she was riding in my car and staying in my hotel room.
Was this what God wanted? I hadn’t taken a second to consider that.
Upon arriving home from my time with this friend, I told my husband that she was coming with me. He looked at me, head cocked to the side, and said, “Is that what you want? What God wants? I thought you were taking a solo trip?”
In all my excitement, I forgot to think about God and about what I really wanted. I forgot to think about how much I needed alone time.
It is easy to forget what I need sometimes.
What about you? Do people pull you five steps ahead of where God is? Do feel obligated to take care of others? Do you say yes, when you mean to say no? Do you feel guilty or rude when you stand up for yourself?
For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ. (Gal. 1:10)
I had a hard time calling the friend back. But, I did. I told her that I “needed” this alone time with God and that I was going to drive up alone. I told her “we’d hang out another time soon.” It was hard. But, telling her “my truth” was far better than “living a lie” and then being resentful and angry at myself. And missing my alone-time with God.
She took it great. She understood. The whole process of standing up for myself wasn’t as hard as the guilt and fear made it seem. I did it! If I can do it, you can too! You can make God first, by speaking your truth.
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4 CommentsLeave a comment
Kelly, I love that you were able to be real with your friend … to speak what was true with a kind honesty.
May your retreat bring you peace and wholeness …
Good for you Kelly, listening to the Holy Spirit leading you as you should go. And your good friend’s gracious response is further affirmation. Thank God for loving and understanding friends! I go through similar battles in myself. Not wanting to hurt other’s feelings by not going along where I don’t feel led to be. And protecting that precious time I’ve carved out in my busy mom days for deep communication with the Lord. Facing this now where prayer gathering has turned more social, and of course fellowship and gathering is very important but right now I NEED the prayer time. Anxious about figuring out how not to offend as I bow out. Your post today really helped!
It is so easy to commit before thinking about what we need or even want, and what God wants. Glad you had the courage to tell your friend and she understood.
It’s nice when we have a choice.
Kelly, I am so proud of you. You have encouraged me to stand up for me more often. I have to admit I don’t know if I would have called my friend, but ti was the right thing.
I have gotten better with my “Best Yes” however I still get caught up in the moment many times. I have one of those I need to correct now. Until I read your post, I was going to go ahead with a loose commitment I had made which is not my best yes.