Category - hope

Be You & Be Free & True

4 days ago

Please them. I must be who they want me to be.

That’s what I thought, anyway, during this period of my life. Rail-thin, I hadn’t the faintest idea of who I was or what I was called to…

I just knew happiness seemed to be:

a. keep you happy

b. make you like me and,

c. don’t fail at it.

If you were a happy person, I’d morph and be happy (even though I was miserable inside). If you valued service, I’d serve you (even though I might whine on the inside). If you wanted me to be funny, I’d try that (and walk away feeling completely unknown).

Once, a company was interested in hiring me. I studied their whole website for hours, determined the exact profile of a person they wanted to hire and presented that image. I got hired, and hated every second of working there.

Why? Because I was a walking lie.

By trying to be everything to everybody, I became a no one to myself. Many who defy who God made them to be, walk living the ultimate lie.

Ever been there? Do you walk with a smile, but feel defeat in your heart? Do you serve people exactly what they need, but feel your needs are unmet? Are you good at taking care of others, while no one knows or cares about you?

Maybe you’ve spent years, accomplishing someone else’s goals for you. Maybe you’ve gone decades living up to a set family standard. Maybe you feel obligated and obliged to follow some inner set of (perhaps unrealistic) standards, otherwise you will be judged. Maybe these things have held you captive.

Step back from this for a second and begin to ask yourself:

a. Who has God created me to be?

b. How has God created me uniquely?

c. Why has He created me uniquely?

d. Does He care that I am created uniquely?

These are important questions to answer.

As I’ve unpacked these questions and scripture, I’ve come to learn: one of the greatest forms of honesty is to be true to be, as God created me. Likewise, one of the greatest lies is to defy God’s truth of how He created me and the unique personality He gave me.

My job is not to fit in; my job is to stand apart, to stand out. That is, in part, what it means to be “holy”.

In all this, it is critically important to remember how loved, known, and purposed we are in Christ Jesus, for instance:

God knows personally what we will speak:

“You know what I am going to say

even before I say it, Lord.

You go before me and follow me.” (Ps. 139:4-5)

God, like a master worker—like the ultimate carpenter—makes us a collectible, an original piece of workmanship, (in personality and appearance, in thoughts and in heart):

“You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body

and knit me together in my mother’s womb.

Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!

Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.” (Ps. 139:13-14)

God has precious thoughts about who He made us to be:

“You saw me before I was born.

Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out

before a single day had passed.”

How precious are your thoughts about me, O God.

They cannot be numbered!

I can’t even count them;

they outnumber the grains of sand!”

(Ps 139:16-18)

We are created with amazing and unique things to do:

“For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” (Eph. 2:10)

To be less than you, is to not only negate what God wants to do through you, but it is also to reduce the glory that will be given — to Him.

“For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” (Eph 2:10)

In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven. (Mt. 5:16)

Are you unsure of who you are? Are you tirelessly seeking to please others more than joyfully knowing who you are in Christ Jesus? Are you unsure of what God has called you to? Are you lost to His purpose for your life?

If this is you, I highly encourage you to come to one of the final two Transformation Prayer Intensive events. There are times to wait on God for life change and there are times to take steps of faith that change everything. To step out is often to step into the arms of Jesus (think of Peter hopping out of the boat). It takes great faith to move.

With this, my prayer for you today is that you can discern what to do and that He will give you great courage to take bold steps. And, if He is calling you to wait on Him, that He give you the great enduring power to do so! In Jesus’ Name.

Either way, having a firm grip on your Christ-identity will change your life incredibly.

Transformation Prayer Intensive

Date & Location Options:

1. Aug. 21–24 (Naples)

2. Sept. 18–21 (Charlotte)

RSVP: Sign up here: https://buy.stripe.com/4gMdR865X2ipfx8blW08g00

Included:

• Lodging and refreshing

• All meals

• Prayer that sets free

• Spirit-led workshops & devotionals

• Life-long heart transformation

• Personal and intentional ministry time

Cost: $1,600 for the 4-day experience (plus sales tax)

Spots are extremely limited—only 3–4 women will attend each weekend due to my house size, so sign up soon.

RSVP: Sign up here: https://buy.stripe.com/4gMdR865X2ipfx8blW08g00 (then email me the date you want reserved)

Subscribe for all Purposeful Faith blog posts by email – click here.

Gain Right Perspective

2 weeks ago

purposefulfaith

faith, grace, hope

Add comment

I was driving, but I couldn’t see. My glasses were smudged. Gray smudges blurred the lenses through which I saw life. I tried redirecting my eyes—look toward the yellow and white lines. Still, I kept going back to the splotch.

When vision is blocked, moving forward is hard. A blind person can’t easily move ahead.

Think about times you’ve encountered these situations:
Snow on your windshield…
Rain pouring down…
A fogged-up front window…

How can you go when you can’t see?

You know, spiritual blindness is much like natural blindness.

We get so caught up in something that we can’t see God in anything.

Offense smudges our perspective of love.
A critical spirit blocks potential relationships.
Bitterness turns us inward because we’ve been hurt so much.
Jealousy blots out a friend’s valid attempt to love us.
Envy makes us hate the people God has called us to love.
Comparing makes us feel prideful—or hateful—toward ourselves.
Putting too much emphasis on hard times makes us believe our future is catastrophic. “It will all turn out horribly,” we think.

What do we do with this eye situation?

First, we can start by praying this scripture over ourselves:

“[I pray] that the eyes of your heart [the very center and core of your being] may be enlightened [flooded with light by the Holy Spirit], so that you will know and cherish the hope [the divine guarantee, the confident expectation] to which He has called you—the riches of His glorious inheritance in the saints (God’s people).” (Ephesians 1:18)

When God starts illuminating distractions, start paying attention.

Many of us don’t even realize how smudged our lenses of life actually are. We go around unaware. But the moment we begin to see, we really begin to see. Then hope comes back. Expectation returns. Joy surfaces.

You know, it’s easy to see smudges in other people’s eyes. But ask Him to show you the smudges in yours—and then allow the light of the Holy Spirit to guide you in His way, as you turn from what hinders.

Prayer: Father, open the eyes of our heart; we don’t want to be blind. The Pharisees were called “blind guides” by Jesus. Let this not be true of us. Let us not be the blind leading the blind, but rather those who walk with hearts enlightened and illuminated by your truth, love, and grace. May we know the riches of our glorious inheritance in You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Transformation Prayer Intensive Update
(New Location, Scholarship & Marriage Weekend)
Freedom is not far away; it is for freedom that Christ set you free. If you need freedom, come join us. Partial Scholarship Details: For the Naples, FL event, we are able to offer a partial scholarship—praise God! If you—or someone you know—is supposed to attend, please email me with your phone number so we can talk about the details.

My greatest places of freedom and purpose have come when I’ve set aside time to connect with God. In these spaces, God has both healed me and gifted me with understanding of my purpose—speaking and writing for Him. If He did it for me, He can do it for you.

Upcoming Dates:
1. Naples, FL – Aug 21–24
2. Charlotte, NC area – Sept 18–21
3. Marriage Weekend: Charlotte, NC area – Oct 23–26

RSVP here (and reply to me with your date): https://buy.stripe.com/4gMdR865X2ipfx8blW08g00

Subscribe for all Purposeful Faith blog posts by email – click here.

God Really Loves You

2 months ago

purposefulfaith

faith, fear, God, grace, hope

Add comment

God really loves you.

He doesn’t, some days, love you… He doesn’t love you only after you nobly bought a home-baked meal to a cancer patient. He doesn’t only love you when you went out of your way to carry an old lady’s grocery bags to her car. He doesn’t only love you when you had a beautiful, candle-lit moment with God and then kept worship songs on during the day.

He loves you.
He loves you on your good days.
He loves you on your bad days.
He loves you when you are at your best.
He loves you at your worst.

“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Romans 8:38-39)

Your mess-ups are never bigger than God’s love. Your conception of how bad you are doing is never greater than the price Jesus paid. In fact, the price Jesus paid actually paid for grace, for you. Grace is the highway back on track with God; not only that, but His unmerited favor, like wind behind your back, goes with you.

Don’t discount yourself.
Don’t compare yourself to others.
Don’t deny that God still wants you.
Don’t believe that His grace is broken on account of you.
It is not. The devil is a liar.

You are all right with God, thanks to Jesus.

God gave you Jesus’ rightness, so that you could always come back on the road of righteousness and obedience, with ease.

“God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.” – 2 Corinthians 5:21

Oh, isn’t the grace of our Lord Jesus so amazing?!

If you feel off track, repent of sin, receive His grace and hop back on the highway of holiness.
If you feel left behind by God, humble yourself, release mistruth and run back into His arms.
If you feel unwanted, ditch the sob story and receive the fact that the Holy Spirit chose to make His dwelling place in you (1 Cor. 6:19)

God wants you, God wants you, God wants you. Period. Exclamation point.

God’s grace is enough to make you right in God’s sight even when you feel horribly and terribly unlovable.

Glory to God!
Praise to the Lamb!
Jesus died with arms wide open.
Always waiting for your grand return.

Subscribe for all Purposeful Faith blog posts by email – click here.

What Calms The Storm

April 25, 2025

purposefulfaith

faith, hope, Love & Health

2 Comments

The person said to me, “Anger is chaos.”

I never considered this point, but they’re right. Anger is the violent upheaval of order in exchange for the wild reaction of man. Everything gets out of order as wildness is released.

I know I get angry sometimes. Mostly it is when I know what people should do and they don’t. Or, when what I thought would happen, doesn’t. Or when what I wanted to say is not heard. Apparently, anger is also pride. It’s upheaval about what we cannot control.

What makes you angry?

Is it when you do your best and you are misunderstood? When you teach your kids and they don’t obey? When someone disagrees? When someone triggers you?

You know, Father God could have been angry at us. Before Jesus, we as mankind, chose idols and natural kings, bad mindsets and sin, affairs and rebellion, besides Him.

God had every reason to be angry and to unleash the fury of disorder on our lives. He could have said, “I’m so angry at you, I will not send my Son. I am bitter because you all aren’t better!”

I may have acted like that.

But, God didn’t. He sent HIs son. He sent His Son even though God could have been bitter. He sent His Son even though God had every right to hold anger against us. He sent His Son even though we walked in idolatry and witchcraft.

He could have been angry, but “God so loved the world, He sent His only Son.”

And, Jesus’ love brought all order back to Earth.

Love is order. Love brings order. And, life. Especially when we release it in situations and to people who don’t deserve it.

But there is also one other thing that brings order to disorder.

Do you know it?

“And a great windstorm arose, and the waves beat into the boat, so that it was already filling…”
“Then He arose and rebuked the wind, and said to the sea, “Peace, be still!” And the wind ceased and there was a great calm.” (Mark 4:37, 39)
Peace turns chaos into order.
The opposite of anger is peace. When we operate in peace, we keep order.
How can you bring peace to chaotic situations? How can you keep your peace? How can you focus on peace?

For me? I aim to do 3 things:
1. I create space by taking deep breaths and giving myself room to think before responding. This means I don’t have to have an answer right away.
2. I reply calmly. Not everything I want to say has to be said.
3. I pray more than I say. When I trust God to fix what my anger thinks it can, I walk in humility that trusts the Lord.
Peace calms storms.
Prayer: Father God, I need you. I need your help and your peace. I ask that the Peace of God would guard my heart and mind in Christ Jesus. I ask that your peace would bring order and also protect me in all my ways. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

Subscribe for all Purposeful Faith blog posts by email – click here.

One Thing You Can’t Forget

March 5, 2025

purposefulfaith

awe, faith, hope, Love & Health

Add comment

It was one of those mornings…

I woke early with a decisive plan of action. I would sneak out of the hotel room, unnoticed, and spend quality time with God. It would be lovely. Quietly tiptoeing through the room, I freshened up in the bathroom, and excitedly headed back to my phone.

Except, upon my return, my phone was gone. It wasn’t where I left it. Did my son take it? I checked under his covers. No sight of it.

Grr… My phone was my way to solace and The Scriptures.

Not knowing how it disappeared between wake-up time and now, I retraced my steps. Did I put it in the bathroom? No, not there. Is it on the floor next to the bed? Not there either. Is it under my bed? Nope. Is it in the bathroom again? Still not there.

My husband jostled awake.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“Looking everywhere for my phone,” I replied with a tone of annoyance, “I am trying to spend some quality time with God.”

Back to the bathroom I went. Still not there. Under my bed. Not there.

Then, my daughter spoke up, “Mom? I have your phone.”

“You what?!” I unloaded. “Don’t you dare take my phone off the charger in the mornings without asking me!!!!” I went off on her.

Granted, I didn’t sleep at all the night before, but, still friends, I went off on her.

Feeling like a pile of dirt, I left the room to go downstairs via the elevator. Along the way, I jostled through all my thoughts… I’m sorry God. Why do I have to react so easily? I hate it when I unload on people. Why can’t I be more patient?

Ding!

The elevator doors opened, interrupting my thoughts. As I popped out, a woman held the elevator door open for me with her hand. How kind and unusual of her to do so, I thought. This woman cares.

Stepping out of the elevator, I glanced at her shirt. On it, it read, “Grace Unlimited.”

And, I knew, God was speaking to me…

Despite my morning mistake, there was “Grace Unlimited.” Despite my quick reaction, there is, “Grace Unlimited.” Despite a hard morning, “Grace Unlimited” still dawns.

It is impossible to outrun God’s grace when Jesus outdid sin on the cross! There is no mistake too big, no situation too large, no morning too broken, no person too out of it – for God’s grace to work.

God’s grace is UNLIMITED for every believer. This is why it is called amazing grace. The key to receiving grace is believing in grace.

For me? I had to finally forgive myself to let go and let God’s abundant, unmerited favor flood my soul.

“For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— 9 not by works, so that no one can boast.” (Eph. 2:8-9)

God’s grace holds the door open for us, even when we’ve acted like buffoons three minutes before. It is the doorway to goodness, despite us, because of Him. It truly is amazing and unlimited.

Prayer:
Father, thank you for your amazing and unlimited grace. It is nearly too big a thing for us to comprehend… It is too wondrous a thing for us to understand how it works… But still, we are always in your good graces. We are always loved by you. We are always forgiven. Oh, how we thank you. May we never forget your grace, your love, and how your forgiveness abounds to us! It is a huge thing and a wonderful gift and we thank you for it. May grace always abound to us and out to others. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

Subscribe for all Purposeful Faith blog posts by email – click here.

When Waiting is Agonizing

January 17, 2025

purposefulfaith

attack, awe, faith, grace, hope

Add comment

Have you ever tried to get ketchup out of the bottle? I mean, the real bottle, not the plastic variety where you can squeeze it hard and it spurts out.

The glass-bottled ketchup was so impertinent, they made up a phrase, “The best things come to those who wait.”

I’ve waited for a lot of things in my life: I’ve waited for kids to be healed physically; I’ve waited to be fully accepted by friends; I’ve waited for breakthrough; I’ve waited for God to direct my paths; I’ve waited for things I dream of to come true; I’ve waited for God to change people; I’ve waited to be changed by God. For some of these, I still wait.

Scripture doesn’t shy back from addressing people in wait, those on month one of a ten-month delivery process.

Scripture tells “waiters”, like me:

“But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.” (Is. 40:31)

“Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!” (Psalm 27:14)

“The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him.” (La. 3:25)

“But as for me, I will look to the Lord. I will wait for the God of my salvation; my God will hear me.” (Mi. 7:7)

Waits don’t equate to: You’ve messed up so much that God is withholding from you. You haven’t prayed enough so you better work up some loud prayers that put sweat on your brow. You’re always going to be this way. You’re a loser.

Waits don’t absolutely mean you’ve been disobedient; they could mean that God has a better plan. And, that you’ve been faithful.

Sometimes, I figure if I’m waiting, it is my fault. That is not always the case.

Instead, in waits God has for me: more strength; “great” all up in that thing that feels like a horrible wait; rest so I can run in the future; a listening ear and His faithfulness as Savior.

Be encouraged, your wait doesn’t mean you are late; it means that the God who is great, has something even better in store for you. Taste and see that the Lord is good. The best things come to those who wait!

Subscribe for all Purposeful Faith blog posts by email – click here.

Don’t Shrink Back

January 7, 2025

purposefulfaith

failure, faith, grace, hope

Add comment

What do you do when your years-long prayers haven’t been answered?
When people haven’t been there for you the way you hoped?
When the enemy keeps hitting you when you’re down?
When you feel worn out?
When you are starting to get angry?
When people don’t understand?
When a little part in you wants to give way to sadness?
When things that you thought made sense about God seem questionable?
When you may be jaded because of what you’ve seen in church?

Paul in the bible understands:
“Five times I received from the Jews the forty lashes minus one. Three times I was beaten with rods, once I was pelted with stones, three times I was shipwrecked, I spent a night and a day in the open sea, I have been constantly on the move. I have been in danger from rivers, in danger from bandits, in danger from my fellow Jews, in danger from Gentiles; in danger in the city, in danger in the country, in danger at sea; and in danger from false believers. I have labored and toiled and have often gone without sleep; I have known hunger and thirst and have often gone without food; I have been cold and naked. Besides everything else, I face daily the pressure of my concern for all the churches.” (2 Cor. 11:24-28)

Did Paul give up? Did he shrink back? No.

How do we persevere? Mentally, we can think these three thoughts:

1. “As I persevere, that gives way for God’s promises to appear.”
“You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised. (Heb. 10:36)

There is light on the other side of your tunnel; don’t get discouraged now. Keep going in the will of God, to the glory of God. He is faithful.

2. “My time is short and my King is coming! Shrinking back is not pleasing to The Lord!”
“…In just a little while, he who is coming will come and will not delay.
“…But my righteous one will live by faith. And I take no pleasure in the one who shrinks back.” (Heb. 10:37-38)
3. I have faith and I will be saved! I trust Christ Jesus to accomplish the work on earth or in heaven.

“But we do not belong to those who shrink back and are destroyed, but to those who have faith and are saved.” (Heb 10:39)

Friends, now is not the hour to shrink back; now is the hour to trust God. Some of us have been under such mighty attacks or times of repeated trauma that the pain seems more real than God’s promises. Don’t sweat it, just look higher. Just because hard things have happened time and time again does not mean that Jesus, the Savior, will not swoop in to save. He is ready to save. He is Savior. It’s His business. Be encouraged. Keep up the good fight of faith. Sometimes, the hard things may feel like we have done something wrong, but He who makes everything beautiful in its time — is faithful.

How can I pray for you? My family and I want to lift your needs up in prayer. I will not be commenting back to everyone, but we will be praying over each request.

Love you! Don’t shrink back.

“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” (Gal. 6:9)

Subscribe for all Purposeful Faith blog posts by email – click here.

Hope for Today

December 16, 2024

purposefulfaith

faith, grace, hope

Add comment

I desperately needed coffee! In line to get one at a store, a man rolled up next to me. I noticed his leg. It rested on a leg crutch with wheels. In my mind, I stood at high alert. Why? Because the last time I got coffee from this place, the exact same thing happened. A man rolled up on the same sort of crutch cart. It was odd. The other man’s leg was pulled back just like this man’s leg. Both men were directly in front of me.

What’s the chance?

When I see things repeat themselves like this – in a way that defies norms – I usually take heed and pray to see if God wants me to realize something or do anything.

In this case, I prayed and didn’t know why this was happening, so I decided to talk to the young man.

I asked him, “Is your leg okay?”

“Yes,” he stated. “I am in the army. I fell out of a helicopter, hit the ground and crushed my leg in the fall.”

Ouch. Oh my….

He went on, “But, it’s actually great because I get to spend time with my family.”

I couldn’t help but notice his radical optimism.

“Wow,” I said.

He went on to tell me that he’d had multiple surgeries, and was healing from the latest one, but that he was “thankful to have grown a beard through all this.”

His blind optimism was shaking me to the core.

Here was a man who was serving his country. Here was a man risking his life for our freedom. Here was a man giving his very best. And, here was a man who had a terrible accident, a leg out of order and in pain — and he was giving thanks?

Wow.

I asked him where his optimism comes from.

He said he calls it, “reframing”. Meaning, he sees the good in the bad.

I wonder if he knew that what he was doing – was biblical…

“Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” (1 Thess. 5:18)

With God, there is always a silver lining to be found. There is always a new way of seeing things. There is always a hopeful vantage point. Do we run to see from this place? I can’t say I always do, but this man inspires me.

In Christ, there is always hope!

Prayer: Father, thank you for the continual hope we find in Jesus Christ. Thank you that there is no person or situation too far gone. Thank you that all things are possible for those who believe. Thank you that you can always do the impossible. Give us eyes to see your goodness. Give us spiritual understanding in all the small happenings of our lives. May joy overflow from our thanksgiving. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

When Worry Makes You Restless

October 30, 2024

purposefulfaith

awe, faith, hope

Add comment

What are you worrying about? Is there something that you can’t stop rehashing?

I’ll admit it! I’ll raise my hand to say — I’ve had some worries lately, friends. Will the kids be ok? Will their future be good? Will my future be good? Will I get them in the right school? Will my daughter’s hurt leg be okay? Will I connect and find new people in the new city I find myself in? Did I act right?

There are nights where I run circles around these questions, like a runner on a track. Round and round, I fashion and figure things out to the point of tiredness. Eventually, I fall asleep.

What a waste.

What does it serve me to do this? What does worry accomplish? Worry is a like a rocking chair. It looks like it is going somewhere, but actually moves us nowhere. Back and forth we go — thinking we’re getting somewhere. But all we’re really doing is fashioning a mental rut that we can’t get out of.

“Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?” (Lu. 12:25-26)

So, what else are we to do?

“You can ask for anything in my name, and I will do it, so that the Son can bring glory to the Father.” (Jo. 14:13 NLT)

While the worry-er gets caught up rehashing and wrestling with impossible situations — the warrior starts praying and letting God handle the impossible.

Note here, in this verse, Jesus said we can ask for anything.

You know that impossible thing? That perfect solution you can’t seem to wrap your mind’s arms around? God knows how to do it.

You know that horrible situation? The one where it looks like you’ve been completely ruined? God has your way out.

You know that person that you just can’t change? God has a plan at the ready; what if prayer unleashes it?

Jesus not only tells us we can pray; He instructs us that when we do pray, we can ask for anything! Wow. He will do it!

“You can ask for anything in my name, and I will do it, so that the Son can bring glory to the Father.” (Jo. 14:13 NLT)

Not only that, but when we pray and see God make a way — He, then, gets all the glory! He gets all the praise. We give Him thanks because we know it was Him. Only He could do it!

In the end, prayer increases praise and ceases all worrying. God gets all the glory. God gets the thanks.

What if, today, you took what you were worrying about and started praying about it?

Let’s pray!

Father, I repent of worrying and wrestling with things I cannot fix. Father, only you have the way. Help me to surrender my fear. I give to you all the things I cannot work out. I lay them into your hands. Will you help me, lead me and guide me? You are the Creator. I am the created. You can make a way! I thank you and praise you for your Son. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

Subscribe for all Purposeful Faith blog posts by email – click here.

Handling People Who Keep Hurting You

October 16, 2024

purposefulfaith

faith, grace, hope, Love & Health

1 Comment

I sent her a text. I waited days for a response. Finally, a somewhat monotone sounding voice-text would come through, perhaps asking me a question. A month later, something similar would happen again. Two months after, I’d do it all over. Usually, an “I’m-sorry-I’m-busy” reply would show up from the recipient. The first time this happened, that kind of reply made sense. The fifth time? Not as much.

Overlooking offense, like an excited puppy, I kept ignoring her repeatable pattern. After all, I love this woman; I really do. I care for her a lot and have wonderful memories with her. So, I overlooked the fact that she kept pushing me off, that she was not honoring my time, and that she was often replying in a distant monotone voice. Add that to the fact that, after I listened to her message and quickly replied back with my own heart-wide-open response…

…I got no response back from her. Dead air. Silence.

That is hard. Why do I keep subjecting myself to this?

This morning I woke up with a question that hit like a brick: “What am I, a fool?”

To keep repeating the same cycles to one’s own injury is foolish. To keep subjecting oneself, like an indebted servant, to someone else’s passive-aggressiveness is foolish.

“As a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool repeats his foolishness.” (Pr. 26:11)

Why do I keep partaking in the foolishness of winning this woman over when she’s making it clear as day that she’s not interested?

I’m like a fool returning to its idiotic folly. But, why? Why do I return? Why do I keep seeking to win over people who don’t want me?

During my prayer time, I sought the Lord. “God, why do I act like a fool, continually subjecting myself to repeated pain?”

I felt the answer come clear as day, “Kelly, you believe what they are doing is a proclamation or a reflection of who you are. You have to fix that, or else…”

I understood then and there that I feel I have to change them to feel good — about me. I have to win them over. I have to make them love me. I have to stick with them until I am worthy so I feel worthy. I have to make sure they see me as a something so I don’t have to feel like a nothing. I have to make sure they never treat me as impersonal or distant, lest I be unwanted.

Wow. When did I allow man’s words and actions to have more power than God’s Word and actions? When did I give man so much power over me? When did I lose the calling of God to make my mission to win over the affection of man?

Ick. Jesus didn’t do this.

Jesus went to the cross, despite man’s criticism of Him as the Son of God. He carried on with His mission despite the condemnation about how He healed on the Sabbath. Jesus remembered He was the Son of God, despite the name-calling He experienced. But, imagine? What if Jesus allowed other people’s actions to define Him? He likely would not have fulfilled HIs destiny — crucifixion, resurrection, and salvation for all the believers in the entire world. We cannot look at man! But, do we?

Have we given in to man’s words in such a way that we have subtly given up on God’s cause? Have we become a slave to winning people over more than trusting Jesus who won all freedom on the cross? Have we become a victim to a slave master who tells us we have to fix people in order to be loved or to be happy?
God gives us another way. It is:

Forget what they say!
Forget what they do!
People’s actions are no proclamation over you!
For it is God — who speaks over you!

You are wanted!
Chosen!
Called!
Forgiven.
Empowered by grace!
Equipped for every good work!
Valuable.
Wanted.
Loved.

Today is the line-in-the-sand day when we:

Forget all the foolishness! If that person doesn’t love you, want you or choose you — so what?! That’s not your issue, that’s their issue! God still loves you, wants you and chooses you.

Even more, He is lining up new relationships and new horizons that will speak volumes over those old hurts. Hope again. He has good things for you.

You are His special child. He cares so greatly for you that you don’t have to go chasing after people who keep hurting you.

Prayer: Father, I forgive those who keep hurting me. I also ask you to forgive me for serving and catering to man over you. Forgive me for making a mission out of trying to win people over. I release and surrender these people to you. I serve You and Your will first and foremost. I repent of subjecting myself to continual hurt when You haven’t called me to. I come under Your truth about me (I am loved, wanted, called, helped, not left as an orphan), more than I absorb other people’s words and actions as proclamations of my worth. I am loved and adored. Please help me to know this and help me to be more and more in love with You. May Your love fill every hole in my heart. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

Subscribe for all Purposeful Faith blog posts by email – click here.