A premarital counselor once talked to me about marriage…
He said, “Have you ever considered how each spouse thinks they load the dishes into the dishwasher the ‘right way’? It is right because it is what they know and it is what they learned. Their way is right. The other way is wrong.”
How we grew up — is right.
How we learned to think about things — is right.
How we process or communicate things — is right.
But, is our way the absolute right way, or can dishes (or thoughts, communication, and habits) have different variations?
This is often the rub in marriage. No one wants to change. Both are set on their own way.
Insanity is doing the same thing over and expecting people to change. Insanity repeats the same words, does the same thing (because it seems right), and is horribly aggravated when patterns remain the same.
Insanity makes one angry and bitter.
What about you? Are you angry? Do you feel bitter inside? Are you repeating patterns? Do you try to do what is right, yet find yourself in communication battles that go all wrong? Is your spouse driving you nuts?
Dissension and frustration make one raise walls of self-protection that hinder deep connection.
Scripture says, “A brother offended is more unyielding than a strong city and quarreling is like the bars of a castle.” (Prov. 18:19)
Surely, we can break these patterns and relational triggers. While we can’t force our spouse’s walls down or their heart to change, we can manage our own heart, reactions, and words. And, by doing this, effect a ton of change. We are not powerless. We have power to preserve peace, to communicate with power, and to find radical joy even when the going is extremely tough.
Peace can be found through our actions and thoughts, even if theirs never change.
I am holding a “Help, for my Marriage (& Family Relationships)” Workshop. I want to invite you. Not only will this workshop support you, but it will help keep Purposeful Faith strong and going. Spouses are welcome to come, but not required at all to attend.
The “Help, for My Marriage (& Family Relationships)” Workshop will include:
1. Detailed ways to walk in wisdom in a hard situation.
2. Strength that helps you stay hidden in Christ and wise in words.
3. Practical strategies to believe God when everything looks dark and dim.
4. Breakthrough testimonies and stories.
5. Prayer strategy that defeats the devil’s schemes.
6. Ways to set up boundaries that safeguard your heart and your children.
7. Prayer and encouragement.
Friends, the devil would love for you to think your marriage (and family relationships) are over. I say, they have only yet begun!
The best is yet ahead!
Register here: “Help, for my Marriage (& Family Relationships)” Workshop
December 14, 2023 at 6:00 ET via Zoom.
Don’t give up faith.
Prayer: Father, I thank you that you have all that I need for righteousness and godliness in Christ Jesus. Father, I thank you that I am not waiting for others in order to have life, and life more abundantly — but that I already have it now. I ask you to empower me to change what I can change and to give me the grace to let go of what I cannot change. Empower me with love. In Jesus’ name.
Subscribe for all Purposeful Faith blog posts by email – click here.