Pacing around my living room, it took everything in me to hold violent cries from sounding out. I was doing it! Yet, before long, I knew I couldn’t hold it in anymore; the excruciating stomach pains were unbearably strong. I had to tell my 12-year-old daughter that I was going to leave her at the house to head to urgent care. She would have to watch TV and check her email for any communication from me. My husband was abroad. She had the computer.
Once, at urgent care, I clutched my stomach and, not knowing where else to go, I screamed out to God, “Have mercy on me, Father! Help!!!” Bent over, I was not able to say much beyond that, as the pain was more powerful than any contraction I’d ever felt, and unrelenting. No food would stay down.
All I wanted was — to continue to live. I cried out to God to heal me, to help me and to console me.
Ten hours later, I made it to the emergency room then to the hospital. I came back home again, then went back to the emergency room, which led me to surgery.
God didn’t heal me in it, but He certainly carried me through it.
When I was crying out in the waiting room, there He was helping me to survive.
When I was told about surgery, there it came — perfect peace from Him, who is The Prince of Peace.
When I debated how I could actually live anymore — there He brought my husband back home as I went to surgery.
When I didn’t know what to do — He brought me a straight-shooter, authority speaking surgeon who spoke my language.
He was there with me!
I can never escape from your Spirit!
I can never get away from your presence!
8 If I go up to heaven, you are there;
if I go down to the grave,[a] you are there.
9 If I ride the wings of the morning,
if I dwell by the farthest oceans,
10 even there your hand will guide me,
and your strength will support me… (Ps. 139:7-10 NLT)
How is God with you, right in the struggle, in the pain, in the problem, in the issue that you are dealing with? Maybe He isn’t delivering you exactly how you expect, but I ask you: How is He right there with you? How is He helping you?
Give thanks! Give thanks with a grateful heart. His deliverance is His presence.
Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good.
His love endures forever. (Ps. 136:1)
That’s what I see now. He didn’t remove the pain, but He carried me right on His back right through it and that is enough!
I live on. I give Him all the glory. His ways are the best ways. Let us never forget.
