Purposeful Faith

Dealing with an Annoying Person

Dealing with an Annoying Person

I had friend; she was sweet, beautiful and helpful, but sometimes, she had a way of getting under my skin. Normally, I just shoved my irritation through the door of my heart and locked it there with a key. After all, sometimes it feels easier not to deal with things.

I remember one specific day – she asked me to borrow a coat. But, as I handed it to her, she looked at it with disdain. I knew her. I knew she had her eye on one specific coat in my closet. I knew her mind was set, even though she put me through a song and dance trying on each one – I knew where this charade was headed.

In that moment, I wanted to say, “Wear the coat I gave you. I am wearing this one.”  I wanted to send a message that I knew what she was up to. I wanted her to see that her approach was wrong.

But, as I evaluated how to deliver this message, the quiet whisper of my heart said, “Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against anyone among your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the LORD.” Lev. 19:18

God’s truth spoke to my heart saying, “Others may annoy you, but it doesn’t matter what they do, it matters what I tell you to do. What matters is – love.”

We headed out. She, wearing the beautiful coat – I, wearing the old one.

As I returned from dropping her off at her house, I recounted all her offenses against me. My irritation levels were on high alert in general, so you can only imagine my frustration when I arrived at the front door, to find it locked and dead-bolted, with absolutely no way in.

Try as I may, this house was impenetrable – and my heart felt imbittered.

But, as I shoved my hand into my old not-so-nice coat, the coat, I felt something; it was just what I needed- a bobby pin – one she has left in my pocket while trying my coat on.

It was this bobby pin that allowed me to pry a screen off a window, so I could climb in to unlock my front door.

In that moment, my whole perspective shifted. I found the key to unlock both my resentful heart – and my front door. 

It unlocked all the small annoyances.
The truth is, the hurting person is hurt. They need love.

It unlocked the power of seeing over small offenses.
God rewards a heart that forgives, that shows mercy and that looks beyond offenses. He rewards a heart that sees a heart.

It unlocked the power of sacrificial love.
True love means we put another before our self. When we look past the exterior, God wows us with the interior of the one who stands before us.

It unlocked my mind from anger and resentment.
When we open the door of our hurts to the great God who understands hurts, all we can do is run into his open arms to receive forgiveness. Then, we can start seeing the ministry work the Lord has set before us to do in the heart of another.

It unlocked a new reality; true love costs something.
Love means we lay down what we have, so we can see how God wills us to reach the other. Sometimes it may cost us a coat, sometimes our time, but no matter, we lay it down in love.

We are all fallen, hurt and imperfect, but as we see past these things, our well-maintained fortresses are penetrated, our walls are taken down and true relationships are forged.

Truly, love surpasses locked doors. It opens up a whole new world.

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Kelly, a fun-loving, active and spunky mom of two rambunctious toddlers, spends her days pushing swings, changing diapers and pursuing the Lord with all her heart. Called a "Cheerleader of Faith", Kelly's greatest desire is to help women live passionately, purposefully and unencumbered for the Lord.

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22 CommentsLeave a comment

  • Love this post, Kelly…such great reminders that God always looks at our heart, and “hurting people are hurt,” helps me let go of my unforgiving grip…many blessings to you ❤️

  • I am smiling at your story as I read it, Kelly:) Isn’t God amazing? He opens our eyes in the most unexpected ways. I am carrying this with me today, in case I have any encounters with (ahem) certain people. Heehee.

  • Isn’t it amazing how God breaks through and speaks to us? Thanks for sharing your story. Amazing how that bobby pin you needed was in the coat pocket.

    Sometimes I find it harder to get over those small pesky offenses than the big ones. Doesn’t make sense, but it’s true for me. How wonderful that you allowed God to unlock your heart!

  • What a beautiful reminder, Kelly, to look at the heart of the person in front of us. Their actions may cause us to want to stumble, but keeping our eyes on God allows him to show us the hurting person who needs His love

  • Love surpasses locked doors… that should be emblazoned on a t-shirt with the emblem of a fancy key beside it… or something! Again, feeling so refreshed for reading your heart today, Kelly. Training our hearts to see hearts, what a great mission statement!
    Much love, m’dear, as God continues to do a work of real inspiration through your words.

  • Kelly, I can so relate to this. Loved all the perspective changes. God shows us He has a sense of humor when He can tell us where we’ve gone wrong with just the right bobby pin. Love you girlfriend.

    • He hits us where it counts (in the most amazing way). I don’t know if I should use that analogy – but we will keep it between you and me, because I kind of think it is the truth. Christy, I need to know more in depth how you are doing. You are on my heart.

  • Oh My Kelly…how timely this is today. And it is such a confirmation to what I wrote for devo at Speak 2 My Heart by Yolanda on FB. I just share:


    Affirmation: Today…I intend to make a fashion statement, just like Jesus!

    Light arises in the darkness for…the compassionate and righteous. Psalm 112:4 (NKJV)

    When you encounter others, at first glance, you only see the outer shell. You never really know what is happening on in the inside…unless they tell you. For this reason alone, you should be intentional about who you come across, always freely depositing a kind word, a nice gesture, a gentle touch, or even just a warm and inviting smile. You may never know whose countenance you lifted, whose day you made, or even whose life you may have saved by being a blessing through kindness, at just the right moment. And that is okay, as it is not about keeping score of what you have done. It is about displaying the true character of God. He is a God of compassion. And Scripture says that humankind was created in His image. Therefore you ought to act, look, think and BE like Him. So since it is the norm for twins to look alike and dress alike… Just like Jesus, choose compassion as your attire today…and everyday!

    Coat + Compassion = A great fashion statement 🙂

  • Kelly!

    Thank you for the reminder! 1 Corinthians 13:5 has the phrase “love is not self-seeking.” What an anomaly in our sinful hearts and “me” centered culture. And really, a coat is just a coat but sometimes it doesn’t feel like that. Thanks for the Biblical reality check.

    I sometimes struggle though, with the verses that also tell us to guard our hearts and be discerning. We’re to put others first…but what happens when that encourages others to put themselves first or to mistreat others? Couldn’t that makes us stumbling blocks to others?

    Boundaries and Safe People (by Cloud and Townsend) are really helpful books on this topic, too : )

    Thanks for sharing and connecting via #RaRaLinkup!

    • Yes, those are really great books. There is a fine line. We must be as wise as a serpent (not a bad one!) and as innocent as a dove (a holy one!). Much love Bethany. Great words in this comment.

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