Purposeful Faith

The Person Who Hurt Me


As I worshipped God in church, I felt a hard elbow nudge into my arm. My husband leaned in, “Kelly, he’s here.”

No sooner did I open my eyes than I saw his horrible face – and everything he did to me. This man made me question my faith. This man chided me openly in front of others. And this man “supposedly” calls himself a “man of God”, a teacher and preacher.

How did he end up here? He lives hundreds of miles away.

Sure enough, there he was – interrupting my line of sight. I closed my eyes; I could still see him.  I sang, there he was. The words of the song I was half-heartedly singing were not lost on me: “It is time for your healing.”

Is it God?

I’d spent months furious about how he spoke, the doubt he caused and the rough wake of his injurious mouth. Really, God?

I guess I thought I’d already forgiven him. Clearly, I hadn’t.

How God?

“Jesus said (as he was being ridiculed, shamed, assaulted, defamed, maligned, tortured and abandoned by man), “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” (Lu. 23:24)

Offenders, on many accounts, do not know what they are doing. They do not realize: the harm, the foul, the injury, the life-long effects, the residual pain, the continuous mind-dialogue they leave behind. They are hurt, so they hurt.

But, we are called to see beyond all this; we are called to see Jesus… Lifted up in victory, even though mankind tried to defeat Him. Interceding on our behalf, even though He was once hated. Reigning, although ridiculed.

Jesus rose to victory via forgiveness. So can we. Forgiveness is victory.

Know Forgiveness.
Know God’s appointments.
No forgiveness.
Know disappointment.

Just as Jesus forgave, God has strength so we can too. Ask Him for it.

You know, before seeing that man at church, I would have said I’d already forgiven him. Yet, I hadn’t.

There is an easy way to tell if you’ve really forgiven someone. After you say you’ve forgiven them, can you pray, “God will you bless ____, abundantly?”

Who do you need to forgive today?

Freedom and God’s great appointments are just on the other side of your anger, contempt, bitterness, remorse, and apathy. Hand all that to Jesus, forgive, then bless the person in the name of Jesus.

You can do it; God has your strength. He is an abundant giver.

Learn more about my new book, Battle Ready: Train your Mind to Conquer Challenges, Defeat Doubt and Live Victoriously.

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Kelly, a fun-loving, active and spunky mom of two rambunctious toddlers, spends her days pushing swings, changing diapers and pursuing the Lord with all her heart. Called a "Cheerleader of Faith", Kelly's greatest desire is to help women live passionately, purposefully and unencumbered for the Lord.

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10 CommentsLeave a comment

  • Kelly,
    This post hits me square in the eyes. After going through a divorce, I was broken. I had forgiven my former spouse for all the hurt, but he kept giving me new reasons to be offended. I kept picking up the unforgiveness and then laying it down. For years it was a battle to not allow myself to live in offence. Last year and into this year I ended up in court again with him. His false accusations set me in an emotional tailspin, but God used it for HIS purposes! The situation brought me to a deeper level of forgiveness. I decided to stop pursuing all that was owed to me accepting a much lower amount and just move forward; trusting God to provide. I felt free! Then, just two weeks ago, my former spouse called me out of the blue asking for forgiveness!!!! Wow God! I was able to tell him that I HAD forgiven him and say I release you from anything you’ve done to me. It was an incredibly freeing experience for both of us. I’m still in awe of all that God has done and do pray that God would grab hold of my former husband and bless him abundantly with love so he and my kids have a healthier future. I know God can do it!

    So, I get how you felt. Sometimes you have to see the person to bring about that gut-level forgiveness. Thanking God He allowed both you and I to have these opportunities to break the chains and live FREE!

    I had a great time interviewing you on the Facebook Live last week! I think we’d be Fab Friends if we lived close 🙂 Praying you have a blessed week!

    ~Sherry Stahl

  • I’ve done similar things before, thinking I’d forgiven someone only to realize I needed to forgive anew. Forgiveness isn’t always a one-and-done thing. What a blessing that you chose to forgive this man again, for your sake as much as his.

  • I think sometimes we have forgiven, it’s just hard to forget. And even harder when we are reminded constantly by the enemy or seeing the person. Jesus is the best example.

  • Ooooh, girl! This is such a powerful spot on post. Wow.. Much truth here thank you for sharing and being transparent. Amen – God is our strength and an abundant giver! Thank you for the reminder that sometimes forgiveness is a process 🙂

  • What a great prayer! It took me years to forgive someone who had done something horrible to somebody I love. Not forgiving caused me all kinds of stress, fear, untrust, etc. It wasn’t worth it. I found forgiveness to be a process. But I know I had forgiven when on his deathbed I stated, “I just want you to know I have forgiven you.” He looked at me and said, “for what.” But all of the old feelings had gone, and I no longer had to try and prove my point. Maree

  • I was awake early yesterday morning thinking about someone I believed I had forgiven, only to realize I had not completely released them and the wrong they had done. I need to be praying for God’s blessings on them, as you suggested.

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