Purposeful Faith

I Used to Hate Myself

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I hated how I looked. I hated how I acted. I hated how other people were better than me. I hated that I couldn’t control my family or my future. I hated that no matter how hard I tried, it always felt like it wasn’t enough. I hated how people seemed to do things easily, it was hard for me. I hated how I always had to prove myself. I hated how nothing came naturally to me. I hated how and I never seemed to have enough (money, smarts or looks). I hated how God seemed far and life seemed too tough and I didn’t really know how to get through the hardest times of life…

There was a lot to hate…

Then, I met Jesus. I began to find love.

I started to know He loved me and He wanted me as His daughter.

But I still hated how I was afraid to be me. How I needed to seem not too arrogant to church people. Or, too wild for their liking. Or, too smart in front of the leader of my small group. Or, too Christian in front of my neighborhood friends. I hated how I felt like I was made for more, but couldn’t access it. I hated how I didn’t really know why God created me. I hated that I partially believed God’s truth. Sure I read it in the morning, but I lost it mid-afternoon. I hated that about me. I hated how I tried to do good, but never felt good. I hated all that. I hated how, even though I had Jesus, I still hit hard battles and got emotionally destroyed. With shame, guilt, despair, and fret. Like a bad spiritual hang-over. I hated all that. I hated how I couldn’t really obey God. I hated how, underneath it all – I didn’t trust Him.

Then, I met a moment that changed me. All the circumstances boiled down to this thought: If I let God into my thoughts, won’t He change my life?

I started not to hate myself. Or, God. Or, what I do wrong. I started to invite God into my battles, my problems, and my doubts.

I began to see the ways to cultivate fresh faith, to renew my mind in Christ and to change my outlook on everything that had previously kept me stuck. I began to have: Breakthrough. Today, I can tell you without a doubt, I trust God more than ever. Here I am today, in the heat of a horrible battle (which unfortunately I can’t explain right now) that threatens me – BIG TIME. Yet, I feel at peace. I feel sure. I feel steadfast. I feel the purpose behind it. I am not freaking out.

This is huge. Now, I am far less afraid, doubt-full and stuck.

The lessons God has taught me within my mind – have changed my mind. I’ve discovered strategies, tips, truths and scriptural wisdom that has not left me the same. My life is a testimony. There’s nothing more real than that. It surprises me, but it also gives me so much hope for you. You really can change your thoughts, then change your life. You really can get past your doubts.

You really can be Battle Ready. Today, I feel unstoppable, strong and I live with a purpose.

****Will you share this trailer with your friends? So many are in need. So many need love. So many silently suffer from what I wrote above? Won’t you be the light in the midst of darkness? You never know, it could save someone’s life.

For 3 random sharers of this video, I’ll bless them with a: Battle Ready T-Shirt, a bracelet and a book.

Let’s help others in their pursuit of God, His love and hope.

About Battle Ready

In my new book Battle Ready (Amazon, B&N) I discuss a hands-on scriptural plan that teaches you twelve easy-to-implement, confidence-building mind-sets designed to transform your thoughts and, therefore, your life. Also if you pre-order the book between now and July 3, you’ll receive FREE bonuses including a 7-day printable journal.

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Kelly, a fun-loving, active and spunky mom of two rambunctious toddlers, spends her days pushing swings, changing diapers and pursuing the Lord with all her heart. Called a "Cheerleader of Faith", Kelly's greatest desire is to help women live passionately, purposefully and unencumbered for the Lord.

Read more about Kelly

16 CommentsLeave a comment

  • I can relate. Unfortunately, more than I’d care to admit. I’ve also come to know the powerful life-changing love of God, and the truth of who I am, that has set me free! Thanks for sharing part of your story.

  • I think we all hate ourselves in a sense, it is spirit trying to rule over flesh. Fighting the fear is in the flesh, believers especially with the Holy Spirit working can be fearless, so it’s more our natural, old self we hate.

  • Thanks Kelly,
    Love the trailer and definitely plan to get this book.

    I, too, can relate at times ….

    Thanks again for sharing with us all and reminding us that changing our thoughts can be huge when we have the protection and love from God.

  • Kelly, thank you for sharing your story. It makes so many of us not feel alone. Your book has been a real eye-opener for me, and I love the power of God’s word inside. Thank you for sharing y-o-u, to point us to Jesus!

  • Kelly, thank you for sharing your story. It makes so many of us not feel alone. Your book has been a real eye-opener for me, and I love the power of God’s Word inside. Praying that others will find this book, too.

  • Kelly, your willingness to pull back the curtain of your life and show others where you were and how you overcame will change lives and set people free. Your book Battle Ready is powerful and life changing from page 1. Blessings 🙂 Love the video too

  • The other side of the coin of hate is love, I’m so glad God showed you that side & you accepted His love in the situations of life.
    I too have battled with self image in conformity over the years but I was set free in accepting how God sees me, He showed me the view through His eyes & who He created me to be…In that I can walk in peace & be me!

    You’re always welcome to drop by for a cuppa,

  • Kelly,

    I am honored to share your trailer about the profound things in your book that can help us prepare and get through any battle that may occur in our lives.

  • Hi?So Excited…Just bought your book and getting ready to share your video as mentioned. Thank You for your heartfelt words and being willing to fight the Good fight of faith for others as well!!! Well done, Good & Faithful Servant, Humble Queen Warrior???

  • It’s so sad that so many Christians meet Jesus but just can’t leave the mindset they have about themselves behind and trust that God makes all things new. Thanks for the encouraging post.

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