I sat in the group. I remember it clear as day. She thinks I’m a know it all, a God-goody two shoes, a high and mighty bible thumper.
My shoulders tucked under, my eyes looked down, I almost immediately clammed up, turning into myself and away from them.
There’s no use in being me because being me – is far too much for them. I am coming across too strong, so I need to appear more weak. Appear weak, and they’ll like you. They’ll want you. You won’t intimidate them or throw them off because of your intensity, strength or willingness. You’ll pacify everyone and then you can go and eat that brownie after the group, hungry for it. But, hollow and empty on the inside.
Do you ever hide yourself to appease others? Restrain who you are to make sure others aren’t put off?
It happened again to me yesterday. She’s going to be jealous when she hears about this. Should I not do it? Brush it under the carpet and pretend it isn’t happening? Out of guilt, respond to her with some sort of sundae-with-a-cherry-on-top offering that will make her smile again?
Do you ever confuse serving others with taking care of them because of your own guilt?
Guilt makes a woman do all sorts of nasty stuff, things that God never assigned her to do. She gives up a part of herself. She gets involved in the constant cycle of thinking about others emotions. She signs away her dreams to makes sure others pick up theirs. She forgets about God’s heart to care for others and thinks she’s the Good Shepherd.
God is the only Good Shepherd. He calls us to care for people from a place of love, not guilt. Why?
Because actions out of obligation lead to destruction:
How do you know if you’re operating from a place of guilt and not love? If you’re leaving behind God’s calling to remediate someone else’s, you’re on the wrong path. If you’re trying to fix someone’s problems to make your own heart feel happy again, you’re on the wrong path. If you’re coming to the rescue of people who feel insecure, and your changing your identity to meet them, you’re on the wrong path. This is a guilt-offering, not a God offering, nor a good offering.
Love instead, works like this:
God, in his timing and in his way, will take care of them.
He’ll instruct me on the way I should go.
I am not the manager, fixer or orchestrator of others’ feelings.
Often the best way to love is to make space for God to swoop in with his rescuing love.
Not everyone was happy with Jesus, even when he did God’s will, not everyone will be happy with me.K
Sometimes the higher calling is the low road, where discomfort is.
God leaves behind no one and he won’t leave me behind as I am true to who he’s created me to be.
I can follow through on God’s callings, no matter what others think, say or do.
I can say no.
I can be true to who God created me to be.
I can go my own way, have my own opinion and stand firm.
I can relax and love as God calls me to, rather than how my insides demand I do.
What would our life look like if we were unhinged from having to tie up everyone’s shoelaces? Would we then allow ourselves the ability to look up and see God’s unique callings?
How might we thrive? How might we minister rather than manipulate? How might love grow within us then bloom so that many can be changed by its beauty?
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4 CommentsLeave a comment
Thank you for imparting great revelation!!
Kelly, I LOVE this! I feel this way often and shrink back from being who God has called me to be. I just had a “restoration” and have a renewed sense of my calling. The timing of this post is perfect! Thank you.
Thank you for this. Helped me so much
Hi Kelly! Last night I took a personality test online, which revealed what I already know: I care a lot about what people think. Since this is my natural bent, I need to counterbalance it by steeping myself in God’s Word. I need to find my identity in him first and foremost, so others’ opinions don’t matter near as much.