How could he do that? What was he thinking? What am I doing wrong now?
Everything he did, said and thought seemed to be a judgement about who I was, am and one day will be. His eyes spoke volumes about the magnitude of his disdain for me.
So I shut down. I shut things down faster than a prison cell at lockdown. I packed it all up, made it all tight and kept myself behind the distance of bars. The risk of injury was too high and I had been hurt one too many times to know that you don’t go around prison like a sitting duck waiting for its next attack.
Nope. I got smart. Not this time. You can’t get me again.
Yet, as much as I felt I was doing the right thing, I didn’t. The other side of me hated that I was locking it all up, closing it all down, hiding myself away. I didn’t want to be isolated, I wanted to be free. Free of pain, free of the looks of condemnation, free of having to pretend I am someone I am not.
It was like I was at tug-of-war with myself.
God wants me to be open, vulnerable and transparent. Tug.
No. God wants me to protect my pearls and not be injured again. Tug.
I am not being a good Christian by not loving. Tug.
I am better able to love when I don’t feel so hurt. Tug.
He has treated me cruelly. Tug.
I am to die to self as Christ died for me. Tug.
What do you do when “relationship” means
forging into enemy territory feeling alone and open for attack?
Do you take the risk, the barrage of open-fire,
for the dream that you can one day be free?
I did. I headed straight in.
Because God was saying: check your own eye, daughter. Just as much as you think his eyes can’t see you – yours can’t see him. I want restoration for your heart and for his. I want to clean things out for your good.
“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?” Mt. 7:3
Really God? I want it to be all his issue.
But, the truth is that as I analyzed his wrongs, so I was wrong.
Isn’t how it so often happens? What we see in another as their main flaw is really the flaw that we carry around – we just try to hide it under an inch of makeup, don’t we?
As I figured it, the only natural place to go after you realize you have wronged is to make right. So I did.
I confessed to him that I judge and can’t seem to hug, that I sneer and can’t be near and that I fail and often feel frail.
I faced the captor knowing that One already had secured the victory on my behalf.
He may have looked bruised, beaten and defeated himself, but he never was – he won my freedom.
In this, I was freed to love.
Who do you need to apologize to?
Might they look like someone who has a mile-long list of wrongs?
Perhaps, you the tiniest power to make things a little more right?
I won’t say that all things are right between me and him, but what I will say, is that we moved a step closer to intimacy, to openness and to healing. The door to my cell is open. I am starting to take more walks towards him so he can see who I am is not all bad – maybe sometimes good even – and what I am starting to see are the same things about him.
It’s amazing what forgiveness can do when you let it work.
So often, we see the one who really needed healing is – us.
Get all Purposeful Faith blog posts by email – click here.
My health haunted, “Kelly, you’re going to waste into something no one will will want to love.”
My past taunted, “You were marked, damaged and used.”
My finances tricked, “You won’t make it!”
My feelings tumbled, “I can’t do this. Things are never going to work out.”
Fear Rising. Debilitating fear. ICU worthy fear.
Have you experienced it?
Fear that leaves you feeling bruised, battered and wondering
where you’re rescue will come from?
Fear that leaves you laying paralyzed, comatose on a cot of uncertainty?
For me, it creates an underlying feeling that I am either not going to make it or that others will pull the plug on me.
That no one will rescue – and all will abandon.
But, someone will…
Do we see him?
It’s the great physician. And, as bad as your charts may appear or the specialists may indicate, you are not left with a sense of doom. You see, for your fears may destabilize and metastasize, but they can never tranquilize God’s power.
One pretty gal, turned queen, understood this. If she didn’t speak up, her fellow Jews wouldn’t live on. They’d die. And truly if she spoke up to the King, she would die too.
Could Esther follow God’s plan, despite the pending threat ready to kill her?
This woman needed an IV of courage.
And, she got it. Likely Esther noted that:
Fear is almost always the wall to one’s greatest calling. Esther’s dream may have been for the jews to live free, but could she step up to the King?
It’s the superhighway that leads the opposite direction of the way, the truth and the light. Esther could die if she spoke to the king, but could she really step up?
It usually arrives when your comfort and safety levels don’t expect it’s shock. Esther was living in the kings court after all.
It throws big obstacles in your path that seem impossible to tackle. Haman’s wrath on the Jews was palpable.
Did she see the details of her pain, people and problems
are never lost charts in God’s billions of files?
Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account. Heb. 4:13
Her declaration in response to all of this was, “Go, gather together all the Jews who are in Susa, and fast for me. Do not eat or drink for three days, night or day. I and my attendants will fast as you do. When this is done, I will go to the king, even though it is against the law. And if I perish, I perish.” Esther 4:16
She knew her need for critical care – and she sought the right care-takers.
She didn’t lay around considering the ceiling art in her court, she:
1. Embraced the reality of the situation and didn’t halt in stagnation.
Mordecai told her she could be killed for speaking out, but still, she knew who stood above it all.
Fear can’t grow under the great physician’s light of truth. Perfect love casts out fear after all.
2. She got serious. Most fasts are just absent of food. Yet, Esther asked for no fasting from food or drink. Meaning, she didn’t take her feelings lightly and knew she needed an extraordinary, not an ordinary rescue of her feelings.
How often do you call on the prayer support of the faithful when fear starts to mount?
3. She was decisive. There was no, “I want to wear that shirt, no this shirt, no that one. I can’t decide.” She heard the truth, she got the support, she lifted the prayer and made the decision to act.
How often do you walk confidently after you have sought God confidently – trusting that the feelings may not be there, but your God is?
When we trust God and act like Esther, we don’t need critical care units to bring us back to life, because we become the critical care units to dead. We bring new life, just as she did.
We bring Jesus’s transformation.
It’s risky.
It’s unfashionable.
It’s sometimes death-worthy.
But, it’s powerful – and we are called to it, just as she was.
We have the same force behind us. We have the same support network available to us today.
Will we reach out to it when we need it?
The truth is – we can’t beat the force of fear, unless we know the force of God. And, if we don’t know and believe in the force of God we will remain IV’d to the poison of fear.
It leeches life.
God teaches life.
It isolates.
God placates.
It threatens to kill.
God sets free.
It puts you in a bed of despair.
God offers a lifeline of hope.
Where will you set your eyes?
Get all Purposeful Faith blog posts by email – click here.
Days where these kids head to time-out, over and over, despite the repeated talks on love.
Days when work doesn’t work-out.
Days when the marriage just goes off kilter.
Days when friendships irk.
Days when finances continue to dwindle.
Days when God doesn’t immediately show up. Days that can turn into weeks…
It’s days like these when you wonder why in the world things don’t work better when you are working so hard?
It’s days like these that compel your heart to want to give up, to run and hide.
Why is it that the train-wreck days sometimes seem far easier to get over than these kind of slow-gnaw-type-of-days?
At least with the train-wreck days, you can clean up the toys at the end of the day and start over with a clean slate. You can file these days away in the “once-in-a-blue-moon” cabinet knowing they won’t repeat too soon.
But, slow-gnaw days are called faith-busting day. Over time, they cut your faith away.
They make you question your worth, your heart, your value, your plans, and your God.
They make me lay in the bed, look up at the ceiling, and say, “Why do I even try, God. When are you coming through? What do I have to do?”
We tend to think that way, don’t we?
That for some reason, we are responsible to fix the hand of God.
As if our actions are the precursor to his decisions.
Who owns the hand of God – HIM or me?
Yet, I think of another who had a serious loss of heart. I think of another who had a series slow-gnaw days that could have eaten him alive – if he let them.
Imagine hearing these words:But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. Luke 22:32 And then hearing this:“I tell you, Peter, before the rooster crows today, you will deny three times that you know me.” Lu. 22:34 Only to do this: “I don’t even know him!” Lu. 22:57
Might Peter thought, “I’d never! That day will never come! I am strong!” Likely.
But he did – 3 times he did. And he wept. Beyond that, I imagine the next days must have been excruciating as he, probably left in discouragement and despair, saw his savior crucified, dead and buried.
What happened to his purpose?
What use was his life, after in Jesus, he practically twisted the knife?
Peter’s actions must have gnawed worthlessness, pain and struggle.
But, Jesus never leaves the failures, the forgotten or the futureless.
Peter’s inability to stick it through in the moment didn’t disqualify him from Jesus’ love, neither did his past actions.
Nope. Remember this? “But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail.” Luke 22:32 And, it didn’t.
How often do we arm ourself up with faith like Jesus did for Peter? His prayer was answered.
How often do we pray preemptively for war? We are at war.
I can only speak for myself, but with faith like mine,
I should make this prayer my living-mantra.
Because it worked for Peter who:
Was bound up in forgiveness and recommissioned by Jesus with the words: “Tend My sheep.”
Was filled by the Holy Spirit at Pentecost, to preach and lead 3000 to Christ.
First cried for himself, and later cried with passion for the church built above his foundation.
Spread the gospel far and wide with crazy love for his Savior.
Completed his life as the rock – to the point of death, not as sand – breaking under the pressure of life.
We think Jesus uses heroes, he often used the ones who felt like zeros.
We think it’s about perfection, but it’s simply about his resurrection.
We think Jesus looks for the perfect, but he always finds the willing.
We try to be faultless, but God grows the repentant faulted.
Peter was never disqualified because he doubted.
His days were never marked as fake and tossed out like bad meat
(we read his lessons time and time again).
He wasn’t left in the dust without a purpose or a cause.
He hit gnawing days, battling days and downright discouraging days, yet Jesus chose him, ate with him, replenished his heart and restored his mission so he could go awesome, outstanding and amazing distances for God’s glory.
He waits to do the same with us; Jesus waits to recharge us into his purpose.
What is really amazing is, after all was said and done, Peter, wasn’t just changed for himself, so he could reach some high-and-lofty goal like sitting at the right hand of God, or going before God, or looking good to man, but he was changed to one who learned to deny self (no matter the cost).
He became chief-tender over Jesus’ greatest love – the sheep, just as Jesus always believed he would.
Jesus said to Peter (pre-denial), “And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers.” Luke 22:32
And, Peter did.
Get all Purposeful Faith blog posts by email – click here.
2 #RaRalinkup Updates:
1. Sign up for the NEW Cheerleaders 4 Christ #RaRa Facebook group page (this is different than the prayer one I set up). We will be rolling out a new element to the #RaRalinkup that I want you to be a part of. Details are forthcoming soon. Join here.
2. RSVP for the #RaRalinkup breakfast at She Speaks. Exciting news, prizes and challenges will be shared at this event.
10 Bloggers. 10 Heart-Inspiring Mini-Posts. 10 Reflections I Share On Their Words.
Join me today as I welcome mini-guest posts on my blog. We can’t read everything online, so I hope to provide a quick rundown of some great words being written. Check them out!
Fear freezes us. It keeps us from moving ahead. It stops us from witnessing. Fear paralyzes us when God tells us to serve Him. It mutes us when He says, “Speak!”
I don’t have to know what is ahead.
God knows, and when I walk by faith, that is enough.
Friend, what fears are holding you back today?
Learning to depend on God will be the greatest blessing you can experience.
Through my disability (loss of sight), God gave me abilities.
He enabled me to trust him completely.
He gave me the ability to serve him and to encourage others through writing and speaking.
He has shown His mercy, because four years later, I still have some vision.
My Reflection: Perhaps it’s not so much what we see, but what God wants us to see as we trust our disabilities to him.
Anytime we flip the switch in our minds and hearts and focus on pleasing God more by pleasing our mate something changes deep inside our heart. It’s like the door called self opens and love and light flow into the place once darkened by negativity or complaining.
Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Ephesians 4:2
My Reflection: Sheila says switching power is found through clenching God’s Word. This is how we flip the switch. Then we see the truth and we walk differently.
Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. Colossians 3:2 (ESV)
I needed help with my shopping tendencies, so I told my bible study girls to “get in my business.” Something radical had to happen. I gave them a pass to speak truth into my life even if it meant my own embarrassment and humiliation.
P.S. I felt led to sell a purse at a consignment store as an act of obedience. When I went to pick it up, the owner told me that she couldn’t understand why it didn’t sell.
But I knew.
God gave that purse back to me, and now I carry it as a reminder of His mercy and grace—with confidence! Whenever I carry that one, I am careful to share my story of grace with anyone who will listen!
My Reflection: How can we grab the support of others to finally push through that loitering sin?
When I saw him, all I can say is that what I felt was pure joy. After 3 years, three months, and two days (of agony-filled waiting), my child who was lost had been found, and that was all that mattered.
Wasn’t that how I came to God?
Wasn’t He the one who was waiting for me,
watching for me in the far-off distance
when I wandered home in my ruinous pain?
Before there was an explanation, a repentance, a hope of restoration, there was that moment when I walked right up to Abba in my brokenness and pitiful rebellion, and we embraced. I can only imagine that for Him in that moment with me, all that mattered was that His child who was lost had now been found.
I was found — in that moment. I was home.
My Reflection: How might you be running from God today? How might he receive you if you would only return? I think he would cry tears of joy to see you return in that one small way to him.
The world may not see my pain, but God does. The duties may not go away, but God will walk beside me and help me to carry the load.
Not only does God see my pain, but He is near to my pain. And he has promised to heal my broken heart.
Can you picture that?
God wants to pick you and me up gently in his arms and hold us tightly and remind us that even when the world is crashing down around us…
He loves us. He is in control. He is good. He has conquered the world! There is HOPE.
“Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30
God called me away from everyone else’s thoughts and ideas and invited me to spend time in His word. Just the two of us. No other influence or interpretation. No other filters or explanations.
Just him talking to me through the Bible.
Friends, I’m not kidding taking a break from bible study was scary for me. I was afraid of loosing the accountability. Afraid I’d miss the social aspect. Honestly, I was afraid I wouldn’t understand a thing I read. I’m still somewhat new to this whole bible study thing.
God kept gently calling, asking me to trust Him.
He was right.
My reflection: Sometimes getting away from talking heads, helps you to hear the one who is at head. Sometimes, all we need is his voice.
The LORD is on my side; I will not fear: what can man do unto me? Psalm 118:6
Are you facing something new? Did you hear God call? Are you questioning whether you heard correctly?
Make a calculated decision in the face of fear, with eternity in focus. Continuing the venture into new territory, I learned about and submitted various stories and articles, often proceeding with knees knocking (Kristi took the risk of facing rejection and walked intentionally even though she was scared).
It was about God, about eternity, not me. Battles in the Old Testament were calculated as well. Think Jericho. They “heard” what to do, then they “did” what God called them to do. The victory wasn’t as quick nor easy as a snap of the fingers. They didn’t eat from fear’s plate. They ate of the Lord’s faithfulness instead. You and I can too.
My reflection: We may not feel safe, but we can move forward with whatever stands before us knowing that we are!
Get all Purposeful Faith blog posts by email – click here.
I should have done better.
Why did I do that?
I am such an idiot.
Ever spoken these words over yourself? I have.
I take all the things I have done and I judge them for my performance, my worth and my value.
As if these things are the summation of all that I am, can do and will be.
As if these things determine my day, my faith walk and my feelings.
I am hard, oh so hard on myself – hit-myself-with-a-2×4 hard sometimes.
But, is this even godly?
Is this even biblical?
The truth is:
1. He already handled them as he poured them all out over Jesus on the cross. (Is. 53:6)
2. He seizes them up and throws them out. (Jo. 1:29)
3. They are taken and covered by his holiness, grace and righteousness. (Ro. 4:7)
4. God moves my sin as far away as my hometown is from Chinatown. (Ps. 103:12)
5. They are lost, not to be found. Pardoned, for those he has saved. (Jer. 50:20)
6. Like a dead body thrown in the water, never to be seen again, God throws our old sins into the depth of the sea. (Mic. 7:19)
7. He remembers no word of them. (Heb. 10:17)
8. He blesses us in the process of removing our sin. (Ro. 4:8)
9. The guilt, the shame, the part that we feel responsible for – he nailed to that cross. (Col. 2:14)
10. He leaves us white, holy, renewed, revived, whole, complete, righteous, pardoned, sanctified and justified in him. (Ps. 51:17)
As the weight of sin moves out the weight of hope can move in.
A weight of hope that shows us:
We are holding the hand of the innocent lamb, until the day his kingdom comes.
There is a future, a plan and a glory awaiting us
because we belong the one to whom all our sin belonged.
There is nothing that can come against us,
because the deal is done, the war has been waged and the victory belongs to Jesus Christ.
The power of love is as attached to us as an arm-brand marking us as owned.
Jesus’ love is forever ours.
We have still-water peace always available through the power of knowing God,
not striving for him, but simply knowing.
Jesus died so we didn’t have to.
He sent the Spirit so we could live day-by-day with a new and living hope.
This power is alive and active – in us.
Do we rely on it?
Do we see it?
Or, do we operate by pounds and pounds, weight over weight of shame and guilt?
When we let the power of shame, guilt and discontentment take hold, the power of God is squelched. Yet, when we see God’s power for what it is – powerful – and his sin bashing skills for what they are – working, we live free to walk in the hope, love and grace that is Jesus.
I think I hear God calling me today, to let go of performance, praise and perfectionism. I pray, that with humble hearts, we all can let go of what we are not, to grab hold of all that Christ is (death that ends our death so that we can have life). The truth is that he rejoices over us and wants us to believe and activate the power he has already handed over.
“The LORD your God in your midst, the Mighty One, will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing.” Zeph. 3:17
They start small until they climb on your back and squeeze the air of faith right out of you.
They have a way of making the stack of bills reign higher than the power of God.
The medical issues stand taller than God’s capacity to care.
The relational problems break you into tears rather than into submission to the One who knows.
They are called mounting issues. Personal. Medical. Relational. Financial. Mental.
They take you on a ride like this:
1. You start with faith, looking straight ahead at God.
2. You talk with people, think of the issue and dwell on the problem and get afraid.
3. Your eyes start to look left, and right and left and right.
4. Your worst nightmare starts to take form.
5. You become sure of it’s overwhelming power to take you down.
Then they make you feel like this:
I’m going down.
It will never work out.
God, where are you?
They will always hate me.
I will never recover.
I will never be left the same.
I can’t do it.
I am horrible.
Problems of today have a way, of making us fear the feelings of yesterday.
I remember the fortress of my school.
The incapability of one girl who was powerless to change anything.
Who was uncertain about the next pain that may come my way.
Who felt the result of people’s issues rather than a product of their love.
I remember the embarrassment.
That past mocks all my dreams. It reminds me that pain will repeat.
It reminds me I either need to fight or flight.
What does the past claim true about you – today?
The reality is – it’s gone, and fighting proves worthless because you can’t fight something that isn’t real; if it’s not truth it simply doesn’t exist.
But, hushing away feelings never works. The only way to go is to see the one who sees far more than the stalker of fear living in your mind. To see the one who waits, looking, hoping, believing that you will see him – the one who is always following you.
And, while you may think it is over, he doesn’t.
He knows it has only just begun.
Because he is ready to come close, to know, to stay with. He is ready and willing to aid and assist.
He is amazing that way.
He sees the inadequate, unable, and unsure one and says, “You can do it with me, because of me and for me. Stay right there with that truth. You will be okay.”
He spoke these same kind of words to Joshua -the second string, the rookie. He spoke belief into a man who had monumental issues in front of him: uncertainty, a sea that stood in his way and a towering fortress shining his incapabilities.
He said, “As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you.” Josh 1:5
What if God was to show up and to say that to you?
“Hey (fill in name here),
I was with Moses,
so I will be with you (name),
I will never leave you or forsake you.”
Might these words make a difference?
Might you remember the bush, the manna, the Red Sea, the God, the hope,
the promises, God’s faithfulness to you?
Not if you just heard them, but if you really believed them.
Perhaps, then, you, like Joshua, might think,
“Wow, this God is really for me.”
Perhaps then you would have the courage to open your sea of despair to allow a new heart of courage to carry you to your promised hope. “Consecrate yourselves, for tomorrow the Lord will do amazing things among you.” Josh. 3:5
Perhaps then, you might set your forehead-to-floor knowing one stands higher than all your perceptions. Then Joshua fell facedown to the ground in reverence, and asked him, “What message does my Lord have for his servant?” Josh. 5:14
You might even hear the way to go, the heart to have and the whispers of truth
rise above the status of your bank account, your health check-up or your kid’s report card.
You might even have the heart to march around what stands against you to shout the truth of God over it, around it and before it to see God work through it. And to, even, maybe, see it all fall down (if that is what God has planned for you).
On the seventh day, march around the city seven times, with the priests blowing the trumpets. When you hear them sound a long blast on the trumpets, have the whole army give a loud shout; then the wall of the city will collapse and the army will go up, everyone straight in.” Josh 6:4-5
Imagine seeing the walls of pain and piles of grief standing before you crumble. They aren’t bigger than your God.
The truth is that in all cases he may not make them completely disappear, but God has the power to crumble circumstances authority over your feelings.He has the authority to set you on a new path, to forge a new way to bring you into the promised land of his peace.
Hear the words the Lord said to Joshua as he was preparing to be courageous and do not let them lightly pass over you (seize them as he seized the city): “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.” (Josh 1:9)
Mounting issues, the past and our feelings are not our inheritance, God’s promises are – and we have already made it to the Promised Land, let’s lay claim to it much like the Israelites.
Get all Purposeful Faith blog posts by email – click here.
—
3 #RaRalinkup Updates:
1. Sign up for the NEW Cheerleaders 4 Christ #RaRa Facebook group page (this is different than the prayer one I set up). We will be rolling out a new element to the #RaRalinkup that I want you to be a part of. Details are forthcoming soon. Join here.
2. RSVP for the #RaRalinkup breakfast at She Speaks. Exciting news, prizes and challenges will be shared at this event.
3. Visit next Monday. All of the bloggers who submitted guest posts will be featured on July 13. I couldn’t pick just one, this is not the spirit of the #RaRalinkup or this blog. All win, all are chosen, all are loved! Mark this day in your calendars. Support your sisters by retweeting and mentioning them on Twitter. 🙂
Proud, happy and all buttoned up, I’ve been the good-girl Christian skipping along my merry way.
Moving just a little faster.
Standing just a little taller.
That is, until my face meets the concrete and a land flat on my face, bruising my image.
Injured and shocked, the impact of the hit
impacts my heart with the truth, I’ve been missing Christ.
Have you ever gotten so concerned with your image that you missed His?
Believed your faith is what makes others want his?
Or, let your high standing in Christ’s family, make you feel just that – high and better off?
When performance leads our charge, when we think we have all our stuff packed perfectly, tightly and detailed into our favorite bible of choice, when we parade a little taller, a little higher, with a little more insight, when others are not doing things right all the time – we better yell, “Stop” to our heart, because we are about to fall.
I know I should have done that.
Perhaps, I would have saw things more clearly, before letting the critiques of others spill out on the floor. Perhaps then, my contents wouldn’t have displayed a load of pride and a pound of judgement and a dash of negativity. These things don’t taste good and they certainly don’t go down with feelings of Christ’s love.
For the most part, others turn and run at their stench.
Oh Lord, let this not be me.
Yet, somewhere along my way, I mistakenly began believing that godliness equates to giftedness, goodness and greater access.
I became that unfavorite person I so often look down on.
A Litmus Test: Are You Better-Than-Thou?
Do our prayers sound more like this? ‘Oh, God, I thank you that I am not like other people—robbers, crooks, adulterers, or, heaven forbid, like this tax man. I fast twice a week and tithe on all my income.’ Lu. 18: 12
Or do we come and pray more like this? “Meanwhile the tax man, slumped in the shadows, his face in his hands, not daring to look up, said, ‘God, give mercy. Forgive me, a sinner.’” Lu. 18:13
When we see our sin nature as a worldwide epidemic that hasn’t left us spared, we see we really are just like the taxman slumped in the corner of mistakes, turmoil and pain.
We see we are that jacked up. No better or worse than others – just saved.
Saved, not from neediness, but from eternal fallenness. Our embrace of this truth gives legs to humility
not a heart set on growing in earthly nobility.
Perhaps this is why Christ looks at the first man, the Pharisee, and says, “If you walk around with your nose in the air, you’re going to end up flat on your face, but if you’re content to be simply yourself, you will become more than yourself.” Luke 18:14
I learned the hard-knock way.
I am more a Pharisee than a needy sinner, and it feels good to see. Christ does not condemn me. He loves me. This realization returns my heart to Jesus like the slumped man needing a fresh touch. It returns me to the place of need, where I, like all my fellow man, sit.
This place is a place of unity, togetherness, hand-holding, anticipation of Christ’s work.
A place of relief; it removes my show-off, to turn the power of God on.
It brings Christ to the places that I can’t deal with –
leading me to the most downtrodden, contagious and dirty people.
It brings him into my weakness, into my pain.
May I boast only in my weakness. Paul knew this is the power prayer.
May it be one of our favorites too: God, help us to boast only in weakness. Forgive us God, sinners. We miss you and need you. Teach us your ways God and lead us in your paths, lest we fall on our face. May our humility be the artery that allows your work to flow to us and through us. Amen.
Get all Purposeful Faith blog posts by email – click here.
I remember the times when I didn’t know who I was or where I was going.
I certainly didn’t think I had the power to hold firm, fast and strong in the face of big waves.
My life bounced left, right, up and down and I seemed to move with the winds.
I felt out-of-control and as lost as a shipwrecked vessel looking for it’s next savior.
And, then I found him.
He showed up. And anchored me.
He set my feet on new paths, through new ways, giving me a new hope.
But, what is so amazing about his anchor that it is not like a traditional anchor. What history proves is that anchors of yesterday are made of solid rock.
And, this makes a whole lot of sense to me, because as one who was pulled from the meaningless sea of nothingness and turmoil and fear and hopelessness, I remember where my security was derived. I remember that rock; I know it well.
It is him. The rock who is precious. Bursting at the seams with hope. Expanding my view with his power. Exploding with virtue to continually rescue. The corner stone.
For this is contained in Scripture: “BEHOLD, I LAY IN ZION A CHOICE STONE, A PRECIOUS CORNER stone, AND HE WHO BELIEVES IN HIM WILL NOT BE DISAPPOINTED.” 1 Pet. 2:6
Oh, how once I was disappointed, but now I am not.
This stone gives new strength in the winds of failure, of not being, of not knowing.
This stone, time and time again, gives us a chance to see new places, new people (and old for that matter) from new sight. In our safety we can see their heart wrestling through their own storms, verses solely focusing on ours. It revises our view of the world as we burrow deep down into his safety.
His anchor holds normal anchor power, but at a magnified rate. Hisrope is always attached, confirming we are taken, owned. This rock can’t leave us. It is always nearby. It sometimes steadies us for a time of enjoyment, of pleasure and other times it steadies us to prepare us for something greater, something bigger – like preparing our heart, fishing for men, or for traveling afar to bring good news.
The solid rock of Christ doesn’t always remove us from the storm,
but it always secures us as we get through it.
The point is – it is hope encapsulated.
For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? Ro. 8:24
It sums up the definition of hope; this rock has hit death in the face and knocked down it’s power to fight us back from eternity. Hope is resurrected.
Plus, it is certainly the only way to endure a storm to encounter, not just peaceful, but joyful and celebrating waters.
We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. Heb. 6:19
It can’t be untied from our bow; if we know that rock, he is forever tethered to our soul.
This rock is as present as the reality of the pains that hit us; they can’t take us down.
It secures the deepest places that shake inside of us, so we become steadfast in his will.
The eye of the storm has no power of the rock that holds our lives together.
Get all Purposeful Faith blog posts by email – click here.
This may be the oddest blog post you have ever read, but I am just going to go with it – brace yourself…
My writing chair, is more of a writing chaise, it faces my patio where I watch birds peck around for their next God-promised meal, pesky groundhogs graze on my grass and raccoons duck their heads into the light.
But, what my eye is drawn to the most is that small, sweet little chipmunk – the one that so often pounces around my (ahem, dead) flowers.
I love these little chipmunks. They are so sweet, so precious, so free of long tails, glowing night eyes and stinky smells. They touch my heart because when I look at them – I see innocence.Pure, humble innocence. Not savage instinct, but a joyful presence. They are the good amidst the smelly. The humble amidst the powerful.
Christ kind of looks this way too – the spotless lamb that shines out among dirty humanity. The pure vessel amidst the ugliness of sin. The joy to behold in a world that has a ravage hunger for everything it can consume.
“He committed no sin, and no deceit was found in his mouth.” 1 Pet. 2:22
Singular purity. All-encompassing morality. The definition of unity.
Jesus – a walking breathing sacrifice, always giving, completely offering, genuinely treading earth for those who need his touch – a spotless, sweet, pure and whole example.
And, while the chipmunk is no equal to the Savior of the World, the chipmunk surely has been created by him. And, he shines his glory all the same, because all creation has been made in adoration.
all things have been created through him and for him. 1 Col. 1:16
I guess this is why God kind of stopped me in my tracks this morning (literally).
You see, as I drove my car, I saw him. Right in the center of the road – my chipmunk.
Dead. Pure. Humble. Small. Run over by the world.
My heart broke.
Just lying there, on the ground.
Slain, undeserving of that pain.
Like the pure one. The beaten one. Driven over by our sin. Thrust down even though he offered so much. White as snow and humble down the road to death.
We forget that image sometimes. I forget it.
But, I don’t want to forget. I want to remember. I want to hold it like a locket over my heart that protects all the goodness, the love and the renewal packaged within.
I want to hold it so tightly that it seeps right out of me into the savagery of this world.
To the customer service lady who drives me up the wall.
To the husband who had too quick of a retort.
To the bills that stack high.
To the children who need a little too much.
To the poor who I would rather not see.
To the friend who really does need a helping hand.
To the coveted time I don’t want to dole out.
To my heart that can’t forgive – or forgive itself for that matter.
May his purity laid down for us, seep right into us and out of us. He loves us that much.
Cleanliness, slain – to reach our pain.
Hope, released – and purpose gained.
Life, secured – so we may endure.
None for him and all for me.
Today, let’s join the impending orchestra of all creation as we sing his truth:
Then I heard every creature in heaven and on earth and under the earth and on the sea, and all that is in them, saying: “To him who sits on the throne and to the Lamb be praise and honor and glory and power, for ever and ever!” Rev. 5:13
One day, every knee will bow, tongue confess, mouth sing, heart see, eye understand who is King.
One day all will know,
until then, let’s live today like we do.
Knowing, not just saying…
Giving, not just mouthing…
…to the one and only. To the one who deserved royalty, a crown, an 11-course tasting menu, the heights of glory, the strength of power, but who endured the status of the worst sinner, the ridiculed idiot and the lowly donkey rider.
Let’s lift our hands to him today.
Let’s see his glory reign today.
To the one who lives, holds all power and waits for our much-anticipated arrival.
Get all Purposeful Faith blog posts by email – click here.
What happens when your mind is dead set on expecting a dream?
You visualize the smiling and congratulatory faces as it comes true.
You hear the cheers of acclaim wildly reverberating in your heart.
You can only imagine how things would change, “If…”
You see it – your heart could finally lay down and rejoice, find relaxation and peace, if only…
This is how it works for me.
My dreams seem to hold the power to be the
Creator and Originator of my present anxious feelings.
Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. Mt. 7:7
Surely, God loves to hear my prayers,
I think he just doesn’t want to have to lay his eyes on my idols.
So often, I have grabbed on to the future’s potential like a kid trying to grab hold of a cloud. I have tried to hug what was never mine to begin with. I have tried to own what was miles away, as if by continuing to see it and reach it and demand it and cry about it and keep my eyes set on it and daydream about it and talk about it- it will never have the chance to fade away.
But, sometimes it does.
It just vaporates. It just disappears.
And then I am left devastated, demolished and simply agitated
at God for abandoning me.
Does the God of peace intend this turbulence of our hearts?
I realize that in the times I expected big bucks, big cheers and big sensational feelings – I missed my big God. I missed the quiet moment of expecting his comfort, his leading and his power as he tried to guide my heart down a different path. I missed the powerful show of his presence in small ache of my heart as I cried out for “more”- because my eyes were set on “my dream.”
How often do we say, “I’m not looking at you God. I want this!”?
Why does it feel that what we claim, should be ours?Front Seat, I called it!
As if when we do enough “knee-time” God sees exactly how dream-worthy we are. Can’t he see I am doing the “hard time?”
I think God made me a dreamer. Not for my glory, but for his. Not for my wild imaginings, but for his outpourings.
My ways lead to foolery. (Prov. 12:15)
My ways seem right and end in death (Prov. 14:12)
I may chart my course, but the Lord owns my footsteps. (Prov. 16:9)
If God owns the way I head, how can I war against him?
Ask not – what are my dreams, ask what are his dreams – for me?
His will will be done, no matter how much I hold “my will” hostage, saying “you’re not going anywhere.” And, even if my will is permitted, in the end my heart will suffer the damage.
God loves us. He loves our dreams. He loves our passion. Even more, he loves our heart.
May the internal knitting of our dreams always be stitched up tight into the fabric of his love, his grace and his power. May the patches of our hope link together solely through the power of his Spirit in us. May our ears be inclined to listen and our eyes be inclined to see – his paths, his heart to love and his example of death when he desired life.
The paths of humility.
But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says: “God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.” Ja. 4:6
Where do you want us to go God? Not our will, but your will (truly, honestly, hopefully) be done. We know, by our own power we will fall straight down and bruise our knee. We can’t get out of ourself, but with you – and your example of Jesus – we can get back up again and walk towards your purposes by your Spirit that removes the old us, from the new us. Amen.
the LORD delights in those who fear him, who put their hope in his unfailing love. Ps. 147:11
Get all Purposeful Faith blog posts by email – click here.
Loading InLinkz ...
