Purposeful Faith

When You Feel Unlovable (Linkup)

When You Feel Unlovable


Every time my son does something bad, he looks up at me with fear-filled eyes and asks, “Do you still love me?” He asks it over and over again – as if every bit of who he is depends the response.

In those little fear-filled, tear-filled eyes, I know he’s asking:

Am I am enough?

Do you still want me? Care about me?

Have I pushed you over the edge? Over the point of no return?

In his pleading, he’s asking if everything has changed.
Wondering if he has finally crossed the threshold of abandonment.
Pondering if he is worthy of my love. My care. My heart.
Deciding if he is good enough as he is.

He is begging to be accepted.

And, how often am I am just like my little son?

How often do I look up at God with pleading puppy dog eyes and ask, “God, do you still love me?”

It’s on days when I mess up. When I fall down. When I scrape a knee. It’s on these days where I wonder if God still sees me, still loves me and still wants me.

It’s on these days where I feel unworthy, unlovable and undeserving. It’s on these days where I think God is disappointed.

Because, really, who wants to be around someone who is always offending? Always a mess up? A consistent failure?

People tend to run from these type of people.

I understand my son – and his questions.
We can’t get things right.
We drop the ball.

But, is God really a “Love me, love me not” type of God?  And, can he really ever stop loving us?

Because it is by grace that we have been saved. It’s through faith and not by our own works. It is a gift. An undeserved, non-reciprocal and free gift. (Eph. 2:8).

So if it really is a gift – from him –
then why am I always trying to wrap up my own gifts – for him?

Why am I so often the powered gifter, instead of the humbled receiver?

In this, I miss the gift. I miss the heart. I miss the grace. I miss his power.

I miss the point – and, as a result, I feel distanced from God. Apart from his love. Deprived of his grace. I look up at him and plead, because I know I am not good enough and never can be.

I have made it all about me.

If I do well, like a balloon, I inflate with pride. If I don’t, I deflate with self-condemnation.  Either way, I stand ready to lose all my air, all my reliance on him and all my ability to fly to new heights. It’s a no win. And, perhaps this is why God did not base faith on works.

Yes, God calls us to love him and obey him. But, even more, he calls us to live covered by his blood and by his free gift of grace. Because, it’s here that we can truly love God and love others.

The wages of our sin is death; but the wages of his death is freedom.

Freedom in a love that is permanent.
Freedom in a death that secures.
Freedom in a life that makes us worthy.

“But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8)

So, the next time I look up to God, ready to ask, do you still love me, I will remember:
Christ’s love never ends.
His love never failed – or will fail.
His love makes me worthy.
His grace makes me whole.
The Spirit comforts me.
Not based on my output, but based on his indwelling.
I am secure.

It’s all given to me, by the one who can never stop loving me. He gives it to you too. Like a locket that holds an image of a loved one, will you choose to receive – and lock his image? Will you choose to remember that this necklace is engraved around your heart? Locked in your soul? It’s love is always held within.  Will you choose remember this image of unchanging love, unmerited grace and unbelievable power?

No matter how you may feel, Christ is right there, with you in your moment, loving your soul beyond any embrace you could ever fathom.


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Kelly, a fun-loving, active and spunky mom of two rambunctious toddlers, spends her days pushing swings, changing diapers and pursuing the Lord with all her heart. Called a "Cheerleader of Faith", Kelly's greatest desire is to help women live passionately, purposefully and unencumbered for the Lord.

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51 CommentsLeave a comment

  • Will you choose remember this image of unchanging love, unmerited grace and unbelievable power? Kelly your words are a beautiful reminder that in the life we have a choice to remember who God is regardless of our present circumstances. Thanks!

  • I am loving your words this morning-words that I need to hear! God is not a “love it and leave it” God but somedays we need to hear this and know it is true for each of us. My favorite part of your post today is the image of the locket holding the image of Jesus. We can wear it daily close to our hearts and embrace His beautiful love for all of us. Blessings and thank you for this wonderful community of cheerleaders #RaRalinkup

    • Thank you Mary! I am so glad you enjoyed the post. He loves us so deeply. Sometimes, I think, if we can just remember the “love” part, everything else will fall into place. Have a blessed day and thank you so much for joining the #RaRalinkup.

  • Beautiful and encouraging post as always, thanks so much for ministering to me today.
    It’s all about grace isn’t it? “When You place all your trust and hope in the finished work of Jesus Christ, the result is peace beyond understanding.” His finished work includes love… and lavishly grace. It is done…nothing we can do or say will make Him love us more or less 🙂 thanks for this beautiful reminder and the opportunity of linking up! love, Angie xx

  • Love the recording for the link up bloggers. You ARE such an encourager, Kelly. I’ve been reading through Romans with my kids. We read Romans 8:1 this morning, and the truth of it sank in: “There is NO condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” Have a great week.

    • Yes, Betsy! I praise God that he has taken all the condemnation so that we can walk free. I praise him that you are holding on to this. He does his best work through you when you walk in his love. I love watching the byproduct of that love in you.

  • Kelly,

    This is a beautiful description. Children are such wonderful teachers. I never understood how God could love me so much, until those two crazy boys changed my heart forever. Have a wonderful day and thank you for your heart!

  • Great truths today, Kelly. I can relate to the thought of: “Because, really, who wants to be around someone who is always offending? Always a mess up? A consistent failure?” Thanks for inspiring me today to always remember “It’s all given to me, by the one who can never stop loving me.” Have a great day! Kim

    • Thank you Tai. I am just reminded of how much we are just walking injuries in need of his love. We constantly have to draw from him. Love your words and I am dying to listen to the song. …going to do that now. XOXO

  • God is so crazy in love with you, Kelly. On your good days, bad days, ALL DAYS. He will never ever stop loving you, believing in you, praying for you, guiding you, picking you up when you stumble and providing lessons in the moments of your life for you — like all of us — to learn to love better. First HIM, then others. We are all in this together. Cheering each other on, surrounded by such a great love-filled cloud of those who have gone on before us. No. Matter. What! God will always love you and me! GRANDEST GIFT to cheer about. EVER!! Love and Hugs, my #RaRaLinkup sister. xxoo

  • Not my output… only His indwelling. Taking this profound truth with me into my day, Kelly. I think of the scripture that states, “Cease all striving…” and again we get to know that He is perfect rest, peace, and love. Lord, help us to crave more of You!
    So grateful for your post today and the #RaRaLinkup!

  • It’s so true that the minute I mess up, I fear that God’s love will end. I’m so glad He sticks with us no matter what. He never gives up on us. (on me!) Thank you for your lovely words!

  • Thank you for sharing these beautiful and encouraging words. This posts was the perfect things to read as I start my day. God’s grace is so wonderful. I’m glad that we don’t have to earn God’s love.

  • I know I keep saying it – but I just love HEARING your words, my friend! So thankful for you and His heart wrapped in yours, and this community of encouragers that you have gathered here!

    • Praise Jesus for the work he is doing! It is all for him, by him and through him. Thank you for encouraging my heart in my calling. This is a gift that means so much to me, Karrilee. Blessings to you sister.

  • “Will you choose remember this image of unchanging love, unmerited grace and unbelievable power?” May God help us all to remember this. His love never fails even when we fail. He will never turn us away because His love is not based on what we do or how we feel. Thanks for reminding us of this, Kelly.

  • What a beautiful reminder, Kelly, that it is all about what God did for us. Though I grieve when I see myself mess up again and again, those mess ups remind me of my need for Him. And that’s a good reminder, my friend. : )

  • I love the words you wrote for the “next time” you’re ready to ask God if He still loves you. I have struggled immensely with feeling loved and accepted. Through my healing journey, I am learning the truth of God’s love for me. He is working a miracle in my heart. Your words blessed me so much this morning. Thank you for the encouragement!

  • What rich encouragement in your post today! I love the idea of locking his image in our hearts. This is a beautiful reminder or the acceptance and freedom Christ has given us.

  • Thankful for your words and your heart, friend. I appreciate your transparency and “realness.” I’m grateful we will always be loved and accepted by our Creator. Thanks for this today!

  • “…he calls us to live covered by his blood and by his free gift of grace. Because, it’s here that we can truly love God and love others.” So true! He loves us where we’re at, and I praise Him for it! Now…to love others that way!

  • Loved my visit today…as I always do! Letting God’s grace seep into every part of my being can be so difficult. I feel like I owe him…like I need to give Him something in return. But as you say, His gift of grace is FREE. I’m ready to lock it up. 🙂

    • Oh Laura, you are such a delight. I am honored you visited today. Let grace win. Let it overwhelm your dry soul. That’s what I so badly want to do. Lock up girl, lock up! 😉

  • Sweet Kelly, how I love hearing your voice speak this powerful message! I so often need the reminder that He loves me more than I can ever imagine. Especially when I mess up. So thankful for you and the gift of words the Lord has given you. Blessings to you and your precious family.

    • He so loves you; his mercy is poured out to the disobedient. Sometimes we can’t even fathom it. Thank you for encouraging me in my calling. You are doing some great work Sabra. You are so gifted and I am so blessed to know you.

  • Beautiful reminder that LOVE(aka God) is never dependent or related to our performance. Unlike our display as earthly parents, where our children who never lose our love but can sometimes earn our disappointment, God who is always on time, always full of grace, slow to anger, and plentiful in mercy has a gentle way of teaching us through and because of His LOVE.

    Thanks for the encouragement Kelly.
    Many Blessings,

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