Do you know what it is to appear happy on the outside, but to feel crushed on the inside?
For a couple of months, there’s been a deep, deep longing in me. A quiet call to God. A sometimes-scream to God. A desire that I want to be met. A dream I deeply want to happen. Yet, despite my all-out prayers, it felt like God slammed a door in my face say, “No! No! No!” Time passed, and — nothing. Nothing happened. Nothing gave-way. Nada. No way. No how. Dead air.
Many of us have been praying. Some of you have been praying for years for that one thing. Some of you have shed tears and sweat over that person. Some of you have tried to push forward with it anyway. Some of you live in defeat. Doubt. Despair. Rejection because you’re the only one who this is happening to. You now feel alone. Self-reproach creeps up on you.
“Hope deferred makes the heart sick…” (Prov. 13:12)
During church the other day, God opened my eyes to something profound. It shifted my heart: Never would I withhold something from my kid with the intention of hurting them. That’s not what good parents do. The only time I withhold something from a kid is to give them something better in the end. I don’t give them sweets all the time, because I want them to have good health. I say they can’t watch TV, because I desire they do homework so they can have opportunities in life. I don’t allow them to get together with that one friend, because I know that friend would lead them down the wrong road. My end-goal is always — their benefit, joy, growth, life, increase, learning…
If I’m a good mom in that regard, how much more does God say no — for our benefit?
It’s as if He says: No, not this person. I have someone better for you. No, not right now. I am going to blow your mind 1 year later because everything will come together in a way you couldn’t have imagined. No, I am still developing the gifting so you can carry out the blessing.
God’s “No!” in the right now is not our defeat but our coming-blessing.
What do we do in the meantime?
Pray differently. If the prayer you’ve prayed on repeat is hitting a brick wall, try pivoting 2-steps and praying from a different angle. Example: If you’ve been asking for the other person to change, try asking for you to see them through different eyes.
Take some new steps. Rather than trying to knock over this brick wall, try to walk around it. Ask God for different ways he may want you to move. Ask him to show you the actions He wants you to take in the here and now.
Learn. Ask God what you need to grasp from this time period. Delays are divine set-ups to learn. If you ask Him, if you seek Him, if you keep knocking — the door will be opened unto you. Do not despise wisdom that can lead you to the back-door that can ultimately take you to a better place than where you were demanding you go.
Do the same thing — get the same result.
Try a new thing — watch God do something new.
“…but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life. (Prov. 13:12)
I want to pray that your every longing is fulfilled because I intimately know how hard it is to wait, to wonder, to hope, to wish, to desire and to deeply long to see something change. I feel your pain, the sadness, the isolation. . .
Prayer: God, waiting is tough. It’s rough. It feels horrible sometimes. I am asking from the bottom of my heart, for every reader, that you bust through the roadblocks, issues, and hardships they face. I am asking that you bring swift-rescue. My hope and desire is that you honor all the new steps toward you (which I truly believe you will) and that wonderful stories pile up — of your faithfulness, your glory and your breakthrough-power from this very blog post. I ask for extraordinary moves by you. You are every answer we need. You are all the direction we crave. You are the love we need to give and to receive to conquer all. Come and do what you do in every single house, for every reader, within every family, for every daughter through this post. I ask you to powerfully move in every situation. I ask you to break down walls, both in us and around us. I ask you to come like the wind and to do a new thing in our life. I ask for abundant trees of life to grow and for longings to be fulfilled. In Jesus’ name. Amen.
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17 CommentsLeave a comment
I’ve been praying the same prayer for a long time now…and like you, I’ve gotten silence. Your post challenged me to pray differently and to really ask God to help me see the people I’m praying for through His eyes. I keep hitting a brick wall, so perhaps I need to try to walk around it…great post!
Thank you so much for your words of wisdom. The right message always seems to come at the right time. I always look forward to your posts. May God bless you and your family.
Thank you so much for this message. I feel like you were speaking directly to me. It brought me to tears. Thank you for praying for us. God bless you.
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This post came at just the right time for me. God is so good, and He always wants what is best for us!
It helps so much to view the no’s of God in the same light as the no’s of a loving and responsible parent. And it makes me want to be a reasonable and responsive child of His.
Blessings to you!
This was for me, Kelly! Thank you! (And I’m sure it blessed others too!)
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Remembering God is a loving parent who only wants our good helps us handle the “no” or “wait” answers to our prayers. I like the thought, too, that delays are learning times.
It’s so important to look at God’s dealings with us, especially answers to prayer, through who He is. As you reminded us, in this case, a good and loving parent. Thanks for sharing and hosting.
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Kelly, your blogs have been so helpful for me and even my husband loves your blogs! You are an awesome, Holy Spirit inspired women!
Thank You and blessings to you and your family!
Without being too philosophical I think unmet desires strengthen our faith. We have that tension that we wrestle with – despair and hope. If we give in to despair we are doomed. But if we remain hopeful and turn to him, he directs and changes us allowing us to see things differently. Because some of our prayers won’t be answered until he gets to heaven.
I love your points on praying a new way. I am sharing this for sure with my readers.
Waiting is a difficult thing to endure for sure. When ‘self’ is screaming at us we learn to stand in faith and say ‘no’ to it. Easy to say, hard to live.
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Kelly, thank you so much for these inspiring, practical and uplifting post. One one that I need on any given day seems to make it’s way to me. Thank you so much for being authentic, I have been praying also and feels as if I’ve hit a wall but this reminds me that God is still working. I pray God will continue to guide you on this journey as you seek to share his word.