Purposeful Faith

Beating Your Past Pain (Linkup)

Beating Past Pain


When I was in 3rd grade, I was so self-conscious.  I don’t know what it was.  Maybe it just the weird stage between girl and woman. Maybe it was because my frizzy hair was too big to go unnoticed.  Maybe it was because my reading skills were lackluster.

It’s hard to pinpoint the exact reason.

But, what I do know is that I sat at a very vulnerable place of life – a place where the prick of another’s words had the power to wound deeply.

Today, I can’t remember the majority of the words that hit those dark places but, I do remember the feelings and my actions.

I remember that I felt less than,
not as good as everyone else,
hurt by degrading words,
left out because I wasn’t as smart,
scared to go to school,
made fun of,
punished and angry.

I remember those things.

I remember sitting on the side of sidewalk alone while others jumped rope. I remember wandering around my yard wondering if God saw me.  I remember faking sick to get attention.  I remember others laughing at my big nose. I remember lying to gain approval of my classmates. I remember the fear of another school day.

Those things I remember.

The thing about the past is – it lasts.

Somehow as a child, we are under the delusion that when we grow up, we grow out of these feelings.  But, what happens is these things grow up with us – and then they grow inside of us. They grow bigger and bigger in our mind as we replay events, words and circumstances that hurt us.

Often, the things spoken – to us – have a way of becoming attached – to us. They define what we think about ourselves.

They grow like living giants in our mind.

They power over truth to tell us that we are too small to conquer them,
too weak to win
and too powerless to do anything about whom they claim us to be.

So, we allow our minds to marinate on words and situations of decades past –  how they made us feel.  How they pierced us. How they damaged us. How we are beyond repair.

We have all been damaged, haven’t we?  We have all lost a sense of ourselves due to the words of another.

Often we shove our pain into the closet of our mind. There, it sits and, like mold, it grows in the dark. It may be unseen but make no mistake, it is still there. Left unchecked, it wreaks havoc in our lives. It expands way beyond our closet doors.

It shows up in the little aspects of our lives – our responses, our fears and our inadequacies.

I am not sure what pain you carry today – it could be words of a parent, it could be a time of abuse, it could be the actions of a spouse, fighting parents, mean kids or sins past.

Whatever it is, promise yourself to take the risk to acknowledge
the power these events hold over you right now.

Because words and actions from decades past
have a way of taking residence in our hearts.

They move in – and move God out.

Unknowingly, we offer these well-acquainted houseguests space to rule our life.

We become familiar with their same old stories of fear, doubt, shame and regret. So much so that we let them impact our relationships with God and others. Fear and negative feelings push others away.

Our unwelcome guests, our living giants, won’t back down unless we step up.

The choice is ours – we can live in denial, and pretend they don’t exist, or we can live in truth and resist.

Because giants don’t have to walk around with a ball and a chain to chain us down.  They hold power.

Trapping power.  Life squeezing power. Demotivating power. Power to depress us.

But, there is good news. Just because we have lived with these giants for so long, doesn’t mean that we have to keep them around.

Why? Because, we have one who sees us just as we are.

He sees the hurting girl on the sidewalk,
he sees the fake cries for attention,
and he sees the tears shed from the words of another.

However, when this One looks at us, he doesn’t chide us.
He doesn’t laugh at our pain.
He simply loves us.
His heart beats for ours.

He desires to grab hold of our empty hand to lead us right up to the foot of the cross – where healing is always found.

Here, we can see ourselves for who we are. Here, we can see ourselves as greater than our past.
We can see beyond the pains that have held us.

Here, we are overcomers of our circumstances –
because one stands above any circumstance, higher than any situation and more powerful than any word.

Here, we can let him into the deepest recesses of our heart
and let him push out the unwelcome guests that have overstayed their welcome.

Jesus looks at us and sees our inadequacies – yet, he embraces them.
He sees our failings – and he holds them.
He witnesses our shortcomings – and he forgives them.

He is greater.  He is stronger. And, he is bigger.
He looks at us and smiles.
Because, he is our Abba Daddy. Our ultimate daddy.

He looks at us, pleased, and he says:

I love you. (John 3:16)
I accept you. (John 6:37)
I care for you. (1 Peter 5:7)
I have not forgotten you.  (Psalm 139:7-10)
I see you.  (Psalm 33:13)
I know you. (John 10:3)
I will provide for you. (Matthew 6:31-32)
I will not abandon you.  (Deuteronomy 31:8)
I will not abuse you. (John 3:16)
I will not forsake you. (Deuteronomy 31:8)
I will help you. (Isaiah 41:13)
I will take residence in your heart, as you trust me. (1 Corinthians 3:16)
I will transform you. (2 Corinthians 5:17)
I will get you past your past. (Colossians 3:9-10)
I will heal your pains. (Psalm 147:3)
I will love your soul. (Psalm 86:15)
I will hold your hand. (Isaiah 41:10)
I will restore you. (2 Peter 1:4)
I will redeem you. (1 Peter 2:24)

Your daddy stands, arms open, longing, eager to embrace you.  He expectantly waits, hoping you run to him with all that you are, so you can receive all of who He is.

Unveiling your past pains before the great healer, allows your past pain to become healed pain.  The Spirit of the sovereign Lord more and more takes residence in your heart and he pushes out all looming creepy giants.

There simply is no room for both.

God is the master giant slayer. He never changes. He helps the weak and makes us strong – in Him. We can tackle these giants by the strength of our Lord.  And by his strength, we become free.

Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. (2 Cor. 3:17)

Freedom from chains. Freedom from fears. Freedom from abuse. Freedom from shame. Freedom from regret. Freedom from the past.

Christ can overcome it all. The question is – will we let him? Or will we let the dark stay the dark and pretend it’s not there?

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Kelly, a fun-loving, active and spunky mom of two rambunctious toddlers, spends her days pushing swings, changing diapers and pursuing the Lord with all her heart. Called a "Cheerleader of Faith", Kelly's greatest desire is to help women live passionately, purposefully and unencumbered for the Lord.

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76 CommentsLeave a comment

  • Beautiful Kelly! As a 3rd grade teacher, I know I have students sitting in my classroom who are just like you and feel just like you did. I try to step back from the teaching and learn their stories because it is in the middle of their stories that I will be able to reach them and they will learn. Thank you for reminding me this morning who I am and who my students are in God’s great plan. Blessed by you and your words!

  • I love your “I will” list of things Jesus is for us and does for us. I read it several times. I think you’re spot on when you say that as we reply events or words spoken over in our minds, they become bigger. That gives me insight into my own life (and my sweet daughter’s life.) I want to share this post with her. May many people find encouragement and freedom in your words today.

  • I’m continually amazed at how hard God has worked in the past few years to heal my severe pain from the past. I don’t even think I realized how much I was carrying. This is the honest truth: “Because words and actions from decades past have a way of taking residence in our hearts.” Thank you for this beautiful, much needed encouragement this morning, Kelly!

  • Yes, Kelly. Why do we do that to ourselves? Thank The Lord, he finds us in our weakness and reminds us we have freedom. Celebrating freedom with you today!

  • I am reminded of the power of words, the power of a look, the power of suggestion in one’s life. I love that you asked the reader to acknowledge their pain. That is so important, and truly the beginning of healing. I think most people have some hurt bundled up inside from somewhere in the past. Lovely post that encourages us to begin healing with the help of Jesus.

  • “Unveiling your past pains before the great healer, allows your past pain to become healed pain.” Yes, yes, yes! Such truth in this, Kelly. I felt your pain in this writing. You made it real. I was the 3rd grader right there alongside you. Then there was the list… Such truth. Such power to cut through the lies. You’ve written beautiful encouragement today. 🙂 #RaRalinkup

  • Wow, this is such a powerful post. I believe we’re all deal with things from the past at some time. All of us have gone through tough circumstances…different, but definitely things that we need to face at some point. Thing that the Lord uses to make us grow and draw us close. He is good. Thanks so much for your encouragement, truly blessed me 🙂

  • […] Linked up at #GiveMeGrace. Playdates With God, #SDGGatherings, #ThreeWordWednesdays, #TellHisStory, Blessing Counters, #SmallWonders, #GraceTruth, Good Morning Mondays, Titus 2 Tuesdays, Friendship Friday, Fellowship Friday, #RaRalinkup […]

  • As I stated yesterday in the #RaRaLinkUp your authenticity and transparency we are refreshing. It challenges me to be more open and candid. Thank you for letting us into that space and showing my example how we overcome, the Blood of the lamb and the word of your testimony.

    • Thank you Tyra. I feel like all that I have gone through is all for his glory. If this is the case, I have to step out in Him and for him. I love your heart. It sounds like God is wooing you to go to even deeper places with him.

  • Kelly, you speak truth here. And it’s not a one time thing. So often those lies start to rear their ugly heads and we have to keep reminding ourselves that they are, in fact, lies. We look to God, our Father, to know what our true worth is, and it’s not based on the opinions of others. Thank you for pointing us back to God and His word to know that we are free.

  • Much wisdom in this post. May we look back in order to move forward which is different than looking back to cast blame. God can bring healing & health as we look back & see His hand at work in our lives.

  • WOW, Kelly. You hit this one out of the park. Well said truth with encouragement in every word for us to step out of the darkness of what is behind and into the glorious light of the gift of the present. Bless you, my friend. LOVED this…

    • Thank you Sheila. Your words, seriously, mean so much to me. I value you and your insight. Thank you for encouraging me through your words. I am tired of old lies and bad giants. God’s truth is glorious! Amen sister, amen!

  • “Often, the things spoken – to us – have a way of becoming attached – to us. They define what we think about ourselves.”

    Too often I forget where the words originated and accept them as truths about myself, truths that originated as lies from the enemy. But as I have learned who I am in Christ, I have come to take those thoughts (lies) captive and see myself through His eyes.

    Thank you, Kelly, for reminding me that as a child of God I have freedom in Him. : )

    • I celebrate this with you Crystal. This is no easy feat. This is no easy road. You have walked the lengths to make life change. This is powerful and meaningful and faith-building. Way to go.

  • “God is the master giant slayer.” LOVE that; So true! That old saying, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me” is nothing further from the truth. You are absolutely right, words have the power to wound and haunt us if we allow them to. Thank you so much for your encouragement today. Thank you for the reminder that we don’t need to be held down by our past. That we can give our fears, our burdens, and our pain to Abba Daddy! Beautiful post, Kelly. 🙂

  • Hi Kelly! This is my first time linking up here, I’m so glad I found you on Twitter!
    I think everyone has felt like an outsider at one time or another. How long does it stay current in my mind? Because as you said, Jesus is there immediately to tell me I am worth more than pearls…more than anyone could ever say to me.
    May we all take wing with the Spirit!

    • Ceil, I am delighted you found us. I love having you and I can’t wait to read your words today. We have all felt like outsiders, but Jesus is the great insider – who comes inside us to repair us in profound ways. Thank you deeply for your words to me; they bring me such joy! Keep coming back!

  • Kelly you have such an incredible way with words that blesses, encourages, and allows the Holy Spirit to move in my heart. Thank you! I love what you said: “…we can live in denial, and pretend they don’t exist, or we can live in truth and resist.”
    Taking that truth with me today 🙂 #RaRaLinkUp

    • Take it home Sarah. Take it all the way home to eternal life with Jesus Christ. Let’s resist rather than exist in torment. God has so much for us. I delight in your words to me. Thank you for this Sarah.

  • This is so powerful, Kelly. There isn’t one thing I can mention, because I love it all! It is stock full of so many truths. My heart kept saying, “Amen!” Thank you for this soul-refreshing encouragement today!

    • Thank you Trudy. I am delighted to share the cry of my heart and I am even more delighted that it touched you in a meaningful way. Jesus loves you and I am growing to love you so greatly Trudy!

  • Kelly,
    There is so much truth in this post. I like how you point out if those same old words and story lines move in with us, there’s not much room for how God sees us, and they have to move out when we allow God to work in our lives. Loved it!

  • KELLY!

    Oh my GAAHHHHHHSH! You had me at the very first Corinthians verse!
    Gotta get those voices outta here and submit myself to the Spirit’s control!

    As always, thanks for sharing yourself, your words and your space! Hugs!! You are loved, Sister! 🙂

    • Awe Christy. I am so glad that this spoke to you (in a good way, not in that “bad voices”) kind of way. I am so done with the old tapes and God is so faithful to replace them with new ones. It is a joy to share this. I love you dear friend.

  • Kelly, you speak the truth right into my soul, friend. I was the same timid little girl in 3rd grade, and sometimes it only takes one ill-spoken word to send me back there. But God’s love is so transforming, isn’t it? We can’t be confident in his embrace. Thank you for blessing me today.

    • I am so glad that this spoke right to you. We could have been friends in 3rd grade. Ha! God’s love is so amazing- and yes – so transforming. We are so fortunate to know him. Thank you for your words to me Abby. I so value you and your thoughts.

  • Kelly, I’m sure you would not be surprised that I also had kids make fun of me at school. Like you wrote, it affected me for years, even to the point that I refused to use my cane or anything to help me in public. I don’t know exactly how it happened, but things changed several years ago. I try to encourage others who don’t want to seek help when they need it or they don’t want to use special devices in public that they are only hurting themselves. Thanks for the extra encouragement for us today!

    • Carolyn, I can only imagine how hard that must have been for you. I know it is painful. I love how you are using your pain for His glory. The power in that is immense. You will help others who are struggling, as we did, to step beyond other’s opinions and fears. I commend you. I can’t wait to meet you in just a few short months!

  • Kelly,

    Encouragement and hope to be found with every post you write!!! 🙂

    I love this…
    “He desires to grab hold of our empty hand to lead us right up to the foot of the cross – where healing is always found.”

    And… the beautiful list you gave us of the many promises of God!

    Much love and blessings to you friend!

    I pray that YOU stay encouraged this week!

    God knows every desire of your heart and I pray that each and every one of them is fulfilled to overflowing!

    Love Danise

    • Wow Danise, what a beautiful prayer that you offered up for me. I am humbled by you and your comment. Thank you so much for your words. I hold them close like jewels to my heart. You are such a blessing to me. Thank you for this.

  • Kelly, this was such a powerful post! My heart truly broke for you as I read this. But WOW, look where GOD has brought you now! I must share this with others because people need to see the beauty of an overcomer! GOD led you into HIS shining-greatness and you are beautiful inside and out. Love you, my friend! 🙂

    • Thank you sweet Tai. The Lord loves me so much. And, you too. He makes everything right in his timing. I have seen that time and time again. We just bow down to the one who is HIGH and LIFTED. I love your sweet heart that just shines Jesus Christ far and wide!

  • Wow, that is AWESOME! I can see that you put so much work and thought and love into all those scriptures about how Abba Daddy God feels about each one of us. The really cool thing for me is that I am writing a book on Overcoming Negativity, and I just shared my first “getting down to the nitty-gritty” chapter in my writing group last night…it was EXACTLY what you wrote about—several of my childhood stories about things that were said to me and how it made me feel, and how I carried that into my adult life-things like, “I’m stupid. I’m ugly. I’m ditsy. I’m not likeable or even loveable.” So much of what is said to us as children are reckless words. The way I moved past it all (ironically, as I actually wrote about these things!) was I had to forgive. I was surprised at what came up…words my piano teacher said to me. A neighborhood bully. A well meaning classmate. Great job, Kelly, and confirmation for me..that I’m on the right track!!!

    • You are so on the right track Mary! These are things that we all hold with us but are so afraid to speak of. These things live on. I am so glad you are speaking on this. Lord, bless Mary as she is transparent regarding her past pains. Encourage her soul.

  • Kelly…Your words give so much life. Thank you for the reminder that my past is just that…in the past. Though I am not held captive to it any longer, I can sometimes notice hold back tendencies that I believe are linked to it. Nonetheless…I am encouraged today to go forth in Him. He is using you mightily dear Sister. #RaRaLinkUp

  • The memories that we pushed deep inside, the ones that you shared move God out…taking is place within, they can truly surprise us in moments we least expect them. But… GOD… what he can do in those moments, the healing He brings when we submit in that moment to the truths you shared, we are loved, accepted, redeemed… and greater is HE who is in us, right in those broken scarred moments, and we can be healed. Beautifully healed, redeemed for glory.
    🙂 Blessings!

  • So encouraging Kelly. I especially appreciate the wonderful list of scriptures that remind us of who we are in Christ.

    “Your daddy stands, arms open, longing, eager to embrace you. He expectantly waits, hoping you run to him with all that you are, so you can receive all of who He is.” Good stuff friend!

  • Thank you for the challenge, Kelly. I’ll have to spend some time this weekend thinking this over. I’ve often wondered at the connection between love languages and the power of words to hurt. Do you think that words hurt those whose major love language is words of affirmation more than someone who has that at the bottom of their love language list? For others, lack of physical touch and affection might be just a wounding.

    • You bet. It is an interesting question you raise Anita. In my opinion, I think we are all shaped by the words spoken to us. Some of us are lifted through them but all of us can be torn down through them. Just my thought. Thank you so much for your comment.

  • Hey Kelly — I hope you don’t mind that I just added a second post to the #RaRaLinkup because of the timeliness of the content. Feel free to remove…AND HAPPY VALENTINE’s DAY to you and hubby. xxoo

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