Category - awe

awe, doubt, faith, hope

My tooth wouldn’t stop throbbing. It was swollen at the gums. An infection had hit the root. And now, it had been a year of enduring the pain, while visiting a specialist for treatments and such.

I needed a God-intervention.

At church one day, I knew I needed prayer. I approached a woman to pray after church. I stood before her with great expectation. God can help this situation. But instead of praying, she gave me a long-winded testimony of a person who had a tooth infection just like mine that spread to their brain.

I went for prayer; I left with fear — and a heart thumping.

Her negative testimony outflowing zapped my faith for a positive testimony forthcoming.

Has that ever happened to you? Have you ever come to someone with faith, but left with fear? Have you ever approached someone for hope, and left with a heavy bag of advice?

For me, post meeting with this woman, I had to decide, “Her story is not my story.” I had to separate her negative faith for the situation from my story, so that I could hope again.

We must not only be careful of the songs we hear or the movies that we watch, but also the words of doubt and discouragement we hear from others.

“But he must ask in faith, without doubting, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not expect to receive anything from the Lord.” (James 1:6-7)

What is the practical wisdom in this?

1. Be wise about who you share your problems with. If they are a doubter, a discourager or a person who loves to share advice, find a new person to pray for you.

2. Be strong to stop negative people. Just because they have a story doesn’t mean you are obligated to listen. When this woman shared her negative story with me, I stopped her. I told her I really just wanted prayer.

3. Ask God: Has my faith been depleted because of people’s discouraging words? Perhaps, say, “I come out of agreement that what happened to them, will happen to me.” Acknowledge that it is fear.

Many people create theologies around fear. Because God didn’t show up for them, they figure God won’t show up for others.

“They will act religious, but they will reject the power that could make them godly. Stay away from people like that!” (2 Tim. 3:5 NLT)

We should not hang out with people denying God’s power or faith for it, but we should adjust course to be near “believers”. That’s what we are called, right? Believers.

So, let’s believe. And, when others come to us for prayer? Let’s believe with them, too!

And, regarding my tooth? I never got a brain infection. I did get a tooth removed in the back of my lower left jaw. The pain is gone (Praise God!). Pray that God gives me great wisdom on if I should do an implant or not. I believe He will — and I believe you are believing with me!

Prayer: Father, give us wisdom on what we hear. Give us wisdom with those we share with. Not everyone should know everything about us. Also, Father? Show us where we have dumbed down faith because of other people’s negative testimony. Help us to remember: their story is not our story. We have no idea the background or what You were doing with them. Help us to believe boldly. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

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When Hurts Don’t Heal or Help

July 15, 2026

approval, awe, faith

My son dragged me into it. I didn’t want to cross my eyes. It hurt. I kept trying, hoping to please him. Yet, I failed. Only he could turn two images into one 3-D image by crossing his eyes.

Once he conquered that technique, he moved on to a video. There, a girl named Mara rapidly flashed up complex onscreen images and, in each one, my son found a super-small thing wrong with them.

“There,” he said, eyes crossed in order to spot the error visually. He pointed out a small, centimeter-sized error in the mix of hundreds of M&M candies.

The next image flashed up.

“I see what’s wrong here!” He’d notice the rice-sized error amidst 99.9% of the page, which was completely fine.

The host, “Mara,” ran through picture after picture, pointing out error after error.

And, as she did, something struck me:

“Mara” in Hebrew means “Bitter’:

“She said to them, “Don’t call me Naomi. Call me Mara; for the Almighty has dealt very bitterly with me.” (Ruth 1:20)

Ahh…I was seeing something. “Maras” can’t help but find errors. Things people should have done. What isn’t right in a church. What a husband should be doing. What is wrong with a person.

Why? Because bitter people don’t see the better portion, they see through a bitter perspective.

Maras find minuscule problems in an image that is 99.9% a-okay.

Friends, I’ve been a Mara, at times. Upset at people who didn’t understand me. Bitter at those who didn’t do what was right. “Mara” at what should have been. Negative.

Indeed, in the book of Ruth, Naomi became bitter after her grief and loss, but my question today is — where might you be bitter? Where have you become critical and nitpicky? Even in the name of religion. Is this the sort of person you long to be?

As I watched this, online “Mara” nit-pick errors, I realized, this is not where I want to be…

Ick. I am over it.

Bitter Maras constantly pick out errors (faults, criticism, things wrong, pessimistic ways), even in pictures that are 99.9% all right.

God’s way is not annoyance, it is faith, hope, and love founded in a mind that thinks about what is true, noble and right.

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” (Phil. 4:8 NIV)

So, today, I’m ditching any bitter way of seeing for a better way of thinking. God’s best.

Life’s too short for bitter, when it is love that never fails. Bitterness only works to make me sour, love makes me to never fail, when all my days are said and done.

What about you? What might you need to leave behind today?

Prayer: Father, thank you that today I am ditching “bitter’ for your “better”. Forgive me for holding things against people, when you have held nothing against me, thanks to Jesus. Forgive me for thinking I am entitled to more. I’ve operated in pride. I’ve demanded things. You sent Your Son, as lowly and, through Him gave me everything. I am so thankful. I am so grateful. Help me to see what I do have, in You, through You, and to give honor back to You. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

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When You Brace for the Worst

May 20, 2026

Walking outside, my body settled into a rhythm and my mind trailed off into prayer that likely sounded like, “God help me today… God lead me in my ways…”

But then I heard something. Something coming at me. A dog, running at full speed. Behind me. It was coming, fast. Mentally, I braced myself for impact. I was about to go down.

My heart beat a million miles an hour, my head wanted to duck for cover, my face contorted and tightened for impact…and then, the dog came and stopped alongside me.

It looked at me, almost asking, “Will you pet me?”

I exhaled. I was okay.

The owner screamed out, “Sorry to scare you. I usually let my dog run home.”

“It’s fine.” I answered.

But, was I fine? Why did I brace for the worst? Why did I expect the impact?

When life has hit a million times, I guess you keep on expecting that it will. When the worst has come and hit, something in you says, this is going to happen all over again.

Ever been there? Where have you been repeatedly hit?

And, might you – like me – expect the worst? Be bracing for what is bad?

To brace is an expectation; it is to tighten, to cover, to hide, to agonize. To trust is also an expectation: it is to lean on God and trust His protecting.

How do I change my unconscious instinct?

Well, I certainly don’t tell myself not to do it. Did you know that people who have a “Don’t let your dog pee on my yard” sign actually have yards that are more peed all over? We resist hard instruction.

What I do, instead is — even in the heat of a high-fearing moment — pause.

I pause and say, “God, You will protect me; I trust You.”

Even if the worst still does happen, God can still work it all out for the best. I really can trust Him! The bark may be loud, but the bite (in retrospect of all that has ever happened to me) has never had real impact!

What about you?

Friends, God’s protection is real.

Prayer: Father, raw fear is scary. Having disaster loom over you is the worst. Help me, in moments where I feel out of control, to remember You, Father. I have a Father who loves me and protects me. I can trust You. May I really do that. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

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How to Cultivate Your Calling

April 28, 2026

awe, birth, blessings

Bored, and not sold on AI, I tested it. Would it be real and honest? Underneath it all, I suppose I wanted an answer to the question — “Are you, AI, a generic online tool or is there more spiritually to you?”

I can’t say I have the answer to this question, but what I came to was mind-blowing!

I asked it: “If you were the most evil force in the world and you wanted to break people’s hope, sense of belief, and faith, what would you do?”

It replied: “1. I would destroy trust in anyone and anything. 2. I would wear people down with inescapable futility. 3. I would hijack their purpose.”

Later, I asked: “What is the counter to this — where even in the darkest situations (gulags, cults, torture camps, abusive families), people do not break?

It answered: “1. Hope, optimism, and positive expectancy. 2. Sense of purpose or meaning. 3. Social support or belonging.”

Wow.

A lightbulb clicked in my mind:
1. We are constantly assaulted by the world, as it wearies us with messages of: buy more, be more, and don’t trust them (reducing hope, trust and faith).
2. The counter to this is: belonging and purpose with hope-filled believers (increasing hope, trust and faith).
3. I can create a space to cultivate connectedness and God’s calling in women’s lives to counteract weariness, dwindling hope and faith — for those interested in seeing God’s calling emerge in their life.

Having a purpose is healing. Being in community is reviving. Walking out mission is God’s intention for our life.

“For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” (Eph. 2:10)

We don’t have to work alone; we can work together. We don’t have to find some elusive calling that is far-reaching; we can form it in collaborative and supportive teams. We don’t have to journey feeling weary and tired, we can journey together.

I am creating “The Calling Cultivator” Pilot Program to help bring women’s callings to the surface. You come with only a desire to move in some sort of calling, even if you have no idea what it is, or an inkling of a calling, or excitement to bless others with a deep desire to be more connected with other women – and God will take it from there.

Ministries will be created from these groups. Small, but massive-in-God’s-eyes impact will be created from these connections. Joy will be revived in community.

What will the pilot look like?
1. It’s 100% free.
2. It is a four-week committed program (weekly call with each other, weekly emails or message from Kelly).
3. You will form an idea (be it super granular, or grand and giant).
4. You will practice it as a group and meet together, with collaboration, encouragement and prayer as a focus.
5. We will have a celebration and grand unveiling across the three groups about what happened during this time, where you will unveil your idea and results. We will also have encouragement sheets that affirm what the other women see in you for this day, as well as opportunities for communication growth.

Commitment:
– 4 weeks with availability for 1-2 weekly calls with your team or Kelly.
– 4 weeks of intentionality to put something into practice.
– Collaborative texts or voice mails with your teammates.
– Development of an overview (one teammate or all teammates share) on celebration day.
– Feedback form on other teammates as to what your strengths and opportunities are.

Only 12 women will be selected for the pilot. You may apply via this link.*

If you have always wanted to walk in calling, but don’t know how, this is your fire-starter. If you want to do more than just exist, this is for you.

What will my role be? I will mentor you, encourage you, pray for you, provide help, and walk alongside of you.

Questions? Reply to this email and ask me.

*If you are not selected for this first pilot, you will be considered for a future session, as the cultivator expands.

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Need a Rescue?

March 30, 2026

Sitting in my driveway, I wondered, could I hide out in the car just a little longer…?

I didn’t really know… But what I did know was that the consistency of the raindrops was soothing. And the lines running down the window were — intriguing.

I just wanted sit there — and watch — raindrops. At least they couldn’t hurt me. At least they were predictable. At least the car was a haven of sorts from the torrents of life about to hit — the downpour.

I exhaled. Soon, and alone, I knew I would have to brave the cold, the wetness, the elements, the problems, the future, the unknown, the pressure…

And no sooner did I contend with all this, than a flash of blue caught my eye on my left side. What was that?

My car door opened. The rain started in. A blue umbrella moved overhead. My daughter stood there — a smile on her face — holding an umbrella for me as cover — to guide me inside.

And in this moment, my heart melted a little. Wow. I was not alone. I was not fending everything all by myself. I was not unseen or left out in the cold in my position.

The second my daughter extended that cover, I realized that God extends the same cover over me, too.

God is my cover from all rain. From every element of life. From being left out in the cold. From being unseen. From getting hurt.

God is my protective umbrella. God sees me and provides safe cover. He does that for you, too…

Psalm 91:4 – “He shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust: his truth shall be thy shield and buckler.”

Psalm 121:7 – “The Lord shall preserve thee from all evil: he shall preserve thy soul.”

Friend, wherever you find yourself today… however you may feel left out in the cold, all alone… Whatever problems feel insurmountable… Or, whenever you can’t handle what is ahead…

My friend? Just like my daughter saw me out in the car, alone, God sees you, too. He sees you there — waiting on Him, hoping, maybe even crying out. He doesn’t leave you defenseless or unprotected; He comes to you. He protects you. He preserves you. He covers you. He takes you, as you follow Him.

My dear one? Let Him carry you out, as you surrender to Him and His safe cover. He will never lead you wrong.

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Staying With Jesus, Even When…

February 4, 2026

awe, faith, God, hope

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My gums were swollen and I’d tried everything… I oil rinsed my mouth. No dice. I headed to a specialist’s office to get a re-treatment for an old root canal. It didn’t work. I got a crown. Still, my gums were swollen. Tender. Throbbing.

Trying to ignore this situation, I sat down with God. A time of inspired bible reading would bless me, I was sure of it, but even still, my mind trailed off…

I can’t fix this issue.
What do I do?
I have a problem that God doesn’t seem to be fixing.

Before long, my fingers dug out my phone from under my journals and my thumbs tapped away. I was frantically searching a variety of new and yet-to-be-found solutions…

Admittedly, in this moment, the gap of my great need was not filled with God, but with an aching pressure to figure things out. I could do it!

One can’t really rest, until “the issue” is put to rest, right? Or, that’s the lie we tell ourselves anyway.

We can’t spend time with God until after the kitchen is cleaned, or the work is done, or the kids act better, or we handle x, y, and z. We can’t really do ministry, until we get our act together. We can’t really love our husband until…

It’s funny though. In retrospect, I was believing a lie…

The lie was: I could manage my future.
The implication was: I lost time with God.
The truth is: there is only one true Manager of my life. Only He is named, Savior — Jesus.
The irony is, the molar recently got pulled, leaving me with a huge gap in my mouth.

Indeed, I lost God in that gap of time, just as much as there is now a huge gap in my mouth. It’s funny how things happen sometimes.

Yet, I will not miss this gap right now, my friends. For here lies a “gap of learning” I can embrace. A huge, blessed gap where wisdom surfaces and where life change happens. And I will embrace it, together with you, dear friend.

For, here, in this “gap of learning”, I remember, I am not the fixer, the controller, or the manager of my future. Better than being a manager, is pure surrender.

Surrender looks like staying with God, even when worry pulls left and right and stress tries to move me up, down, and all around. For trusting Him is more important than figuring everything out.

Wait patiently for the Lord.
Be brave and courageous.
Yes, wait patiently for the Lord. (Ps. 27:14 NLT)

Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight. (Prov. 3:5-6 NIV)

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A Miracle Happened

January 15, 2026

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This past Sunday was a normal trip home from a soccer event, but I never expected tragedy to hit. Pulling into our driveway, there is a little hill that leads down to our garage.

This day, we pulled into the driveway, joyous. Why? Because right before hitting our driveway, we were talking about God’s love. I shared how I recently heard data from a neurologist who said that spending 15 minutes a day thinking about God’s love for us, changes our brain. My whole family liked that idea. My son, since this conversation, has even put that into practice and noted how he felt God’s presence.

So, we pulled in the driveway on this particular day, all caught up with that idea… My husband put the car in park, and my daughter rapidly got out. Because we were on a hill, the car then rolled forward a tad. And, this is when it happened. A scream sounded out from my daughter!

“The car is on my foot, daddy! It is on my foot! Move it back! Move it back!”

Oh no! I thought. My daughter, my precious daughter, who has big dreams to play soccer. What is going to become of her foot?!

My mind started to get fuzzy.

“Which way?” my husband yelled out!

“I don’t know!!!” she screamed. I couldn’t think either.

My husband moved the car.

“That’s the wrong way! It’s going more on my foot, daddy! More on my foot… Move it!!!!!”

The tire of a car that weighs 5,000 pounds was driving over her foot. Oh. My. Goodness.

Finally, he moved the car in the right direction. And, then it happened — she walked away scot-free. No pain. At all. Perfectly fine. Protected. All clear.

Even though she had bare feet, God offered her complete protection. His love was live, active, and at work. God loves her and loved her. What a testimony.

He protects us too, even though many of us do not even know the miracle of His protection at work. The delay that protects us from the accident. The call that diverted the tragedy. The removal of someone who would have caused destruction.

God has probably fended off a million tragedies and performed a million miracles in each of our lives. He loves my daughter and He loves you… He deeply loves you… He continually protects and keeps you…

He is the Shepherd of your soul and the Keeper of your life, and He does it well!

After the moment of horror, I went inside and I iced her up anyway. My husband went out and got something out of the car. When we pulled up in the car, I did not have the audio playing the bible, but when my husband went back in the car it was playing Deut 4:34 where it talks about miraculous signs and wonders.

Has any other god dared to take a nation for himself out of another nation by means of trials, miraculous signs, wonders, war, a strong hand, a powerful arm, and terrifying acts? Yet that is what the Lord your God did for you in Egypt, right before your eyes. (Deut. 4:34 NLT)

We had seen a miraculous sign and wonder, for sure.

Let’s take a moment and thank God for His goodness, His love and His protection — the millions of miracles we have walked in, but maybe never seen.

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The Key to Breakthrough

October 21, 2025

awe, envy, faith, hope

The other day, I bent my key. It wouldn’t fit in my front door. The door would not open. I had to unbend the key to fit the lock and open the door. This got me thinking of the power of one simple key…

The right key opens the door.
The wrong key does not open the door.

Some of us may be using the wrong key on the right door. Others, may be using the right key on the wrong door. Either way, the door won’t open.

This is why prayer leads us to the right key to open all right doors.

Jesus tells us:

““Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you.” (Mt. 7:7 NLT)

Keep asking.
Keep seeking.
Keep knocking.

In the asking, we will go about receiving. Sometimes we receive the understanding to shift two doors to the left or right.

In the seeking, we will go about finding. Often, seeking shows us what we first wanted, is not what we most needed at all.

In the knocking, our persistent hunger calls on His hand to feed us. He responds.

“Then call on me when you are in trouble, and I will rescue you, and you will give me glory.” (Ps. 50:15)

Calling, with God, is not a one-time event and we give up. It looks like persistence, being fervent and expectant.

“Persistence”
per·sis·tence
Merriam-Webster definition: “to go on resolutely or stubbornly in spite of opposition, importunity, or warning”

“Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up.” – Luke 18:1

“Fervent”
fer·vent
Merriam-Webster definition: “exhibiting or marked by great intensity of feeling”

“The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.” (James 5:16)

“Expect”
ex·pect
Merriam-Webster definition: “to consider probable or certain”

“Wait for and confidently expect the Lord; Be strong and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for and confidently expect the Lord.” (Ps. 27:14)

We persist with great intensity and know the probability of our Faithful God showing up! This is a key that opens doors of faith. Without faith, it is impossible to please God.

Prayer: Father, I want to have steadfastness and diligence to keep seeking you. I want to seek you and find you. I want to pursue you with all my heart, all my soul and all my strength. Give me the ability not to give up. Make me strong of heart. Give me the gift of intercession that keeps on, keeping on. In Jesus’ Name.

Invitation for you: I am holding a a day retreat in Charlotte on December 13. If you would like more information reply to this email. I would love to create a space and place for you to meet with God and to find inner healing.

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Only Just Believe!

September 25, 2025