I am delighted to have Christi Miranda joining us for Women’s Ministry Monday today. Christi helped open my life up to writing. Like Christ, she gave up her spot for me at a writers conference and it changed my life forever. Thank you Christi. I am so thankful.
Post by: Christi Miranda
“Go to jail. Go directly to jail. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200!” This is how I often felt growing up in church.
You see, I was raised in church. I cut my teeth on church pews. I sang in the children’s choir, played hand bells (oh yes, hand bells). I was a gleeful giraffe on the Noah’s Ark float in our town parade & I went to summer camp every single year as a child! I am a bona fide Church Girl to the bone! That said, I have been well-trained to follow the rules and can be quite adept at feeling guilty for almost everything I do wrong.
Somewhere in all the lessons and singing, I think the lists of “Do’s & Don’ts” made me believe that I had to prove my worthiness to the Lord. And of course, when I mess up, there’s a guilty voice scolding & condemning me inside. You know the voice! It says things like: “Well I didn’t do my quiet time this morning so I have to start all over…” Or, “Did I just curse at the car in front of me?! I’m going directly to Hell.” and then Mom Guilt chimes in saying, “I didn’t pray with my daughter tonight… what kind of example am I??” Maybe I’m the only one who has had these feelings of not being good enough…but I doubt it.
While I am very glad I was raised in church, I realize that the truths of God’s Word have come through the opinions and filters of people. Flawed people, just like you and me.
Let me ask this: Have you ever been afraid that God would overlook you? That no matter how long your hand was raised in the air, He would rather pick someone else? Like in grade school when it was time to pick teams for kick ball, I would be chosen last. I’ve never been athletically inclined so the only reason I got picked at all was because everyone had to play. Somehow, somewhere in my life, that’s how I began to view my walk with Jesus. I’d think to myself, “If I could just be better, God would choose me for something.” Or, “If I get it right this time, God will pick me for something great.” And just like you, I am well aware of my own shortcomings. So, these nagging thoughts became a vicious cycle of me trying to prove that I was spiritually awesome & perfect; all while butting my head against the fact that I was not. Ouch!
I felt like God would overlook me and I had to do everything in my power to get Him to love me.
Full disclosure? I haven’t fully overcome this fear. I can preach to folks about God’s love with passion and power and share that God is crazy about them and has a purpose for their lives, but me? I’m not always so sure. Every now and again, that religious insecurity raises its ugly head and this preacher girl has to preach to herself!
I take my list of confessions and speak the Word out loud. Ignoring the knot in my throat and choking back the tears, I remind myself of a few things:
God has NEVER ONCE
left me, lied to me or failed me.
lied to me
or failed me.
God. Is. Pleased. With. Me.
And then I declare with a little sass:
I Am Loved.
I Am Accepted.
I Am Not Alone.
I Am HIS!
I was born on purpose, with purpose and for purpose!
Ya’ll, these words, HIS Words, are life & health to my very bones.
They steady me and help to straighten my spine.
Do I have instant victory? No. It does however help me realize that I do not have to start all over. I can get up from exactly where I am without having to go directly to jail and move forward.
Get all Purposeful Faith blog posts by email – click here!
Christi’s personal mission is to move people from surviving to shining!
A passionate speaker, Christi is known for being relatable and energetic. With real life stories and unique illustrations of God’s truths, Christi is a keynote speaker for various women’s events and is noted for her authenticity.
Christi shares the story of God’s beautiful grace & strength after painful loss & becoming a single mother. Through a clear and direct message of victory & healing, she ministers to those who feel that life has taken their “shine” forever. Christi shares her story of hope to help women uncover the hidden gleam of God’s work in their lives.
Her greatest delight and joy is raising her daughter, Julia. She feels extremely blessed to be the mother of her feisty “Princess Warrior”.
Christi serves as an associate pastor on staff at The Potter’s House Church of Denver under Pastor Chris Hill.
4 CommentsLeave a comment
Always a needed reminder. Thank you for posting.
I can relate to that guilt train sooo hard and this was incredibly encouraging.
Great, heartfelt encouragement in this one!