#grace Archives - Page 12 of 30

What Does That Woman Think of Me?

August 14, 2017

approval, Contentment, doubt, faith, fear

We climbed the train, tucked away our luggage for the long haul, then headed to the lounge where we got some waters and drinks. Relaxation time! Well, not so much. The kids were nuts. They tackled each other on the booth cushions and screamed like animals at a wrestling match. I eyed the woman staring at me to the left. I glanced down the row at a man who couldn’t keep his eyes off them. I motioned to my husband, “It’s time to go.” But what came next shocked me.

As we headed out, the woman with a pixie haircut and eyes that didn’t quite catch you straight stared a bit beyond me and said, “You have beautiful kids. We love watching them.”

I was shocked. You love them?

She went on to tell my family and I that we shouldn’t leave the lounge. And if we did, we should return soon.

And with this thought, I began wondering how often I suppose women hate me when they actually: A.) Want to get to know me B.) Are intrigued by me or, C.) Are looking my way, yet not even thinking about me?

Recently, I learned about the Spotlight Effect. It means the vast majority of the time you think people are critiquing, watching or condemning you, they aren’t. They’re likely thinking about themselves and what they are wearing, doing or saying. They’re caught up in their own spotlight.

To boil this down further, it means people are quite often thinking about themselves. And when they aren’t, they are thinking about what you are thinking about them.

Everyone is wrapped up in their own world.

So, those women who I think hate me?
They’ve probably moved on to pondering who hates them.

The person I offended, who I am convinced constantly tracks it?
She’s probably wondering why she doesn’t …blah…blah…blah…

The girl I was a terrible boss to years ago?
She’s probably just concerned with doing a good job at her work, today.

What if we let go of the pressure of what everyone else is thinking? What if we let go of the burden of owning other’s contentment? What if we just let our goal be to please God and seek him, plain and simple?

What if we let go of everyone’s load? Because it pains us to carry it.

“For each one should carry their own load.” (Gal. 6:5)

Kelly’s new book, Fear Fighting: Awakening Courage to Overcome Your Fears has been called “A must read,” “Breathtakingly honest” and a “Great Toolbox to Overcome Fear.” Read it today.

Discover how to flee from fear and fly in faith through 4 Days to Fearless Challenge.

Get all Purposeful Faith blog posts by email – click here.

Why Do People Always Let Me Down?

August 11, 2017

purposefulfaith

Contentment

1 Comment

What do you do when, despite everything, people don’t do what you want them to?

Surely, this is the real question of life. Surely, if people fell in line, had no comebacks, did as I wanted and/or put up no fight, life would be so much easier, wouldn’t it?

I couldn’t help but think this as my daughter fought me tooth and nail to go to sleep. I couldn’t help but think this as my best efforts were overlooked by family members today. I couldn’t help but think this as I was stood up by a friend, even though we’d made plans – and confirmed them, twice. I couldn’t help but think about how someone dear to me talked behind my back.

I sighed, then thought…

Why can’t people follow through?

Do what they are supposed to do?

Be consistent?

Be loyal?

Not cause me issues?

Without all their issues, life would be easy. I’d live in continual peace, unending joy, and I’d be kind, considerate and easy-going to boot. But, bring these people into it and they’re a nail in my tire. They deflate me…

Subconsciously, I’m sure, these thoughts swirled in the back of my mind as I gave my son a well-timed lesson. I said, “My dear, we want our ‘yes’ to be ‘yes’ and our ‘no’ to be ‘no.’”

We want people to know we’ll do what we say. That we follow through. That we are considerate…not mess-ups like those horrible meanies who let people down.

(Um. I didn’t say that. But, I guess, I sure thought it.)

My son turned to me and said, “Mommy, you didn’t let your ‘yes’ be ‘yes’ when I wanted to see the solar eclipse that time.”

And by George, he was right. I didn’t. I forgot that time. Then, I fumbled and bumbled because despite my best intentions, I didn’t follow through. I tried to make up a story as to why it was better to see some half-baked moon, rather than the real deal. I faked it, to cover my mistake. Why? Because I felt horrible.

“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?” (Mt. 7:3)

And maybe it’s the same for these people. Maybe they had good intentions… Maybe they planned to do something good… Maybe they hoped to follow through… Maybe they wanted to see me… Maybe they wished things turned out different… Maybe they hoped they acted differently…

Maybe.

We’re all just trying to do this thing called life. Not one of us has a monopoly on “perfect.”
This thought = freedom.

The more leeway I give to others’ mistakes, the more grace is free to work into mine. It’s a funny thing. Somehow, this wiggle room makes room in my heart, mind and soul for me to contend with the fact we’re all just people trying to do as good as we can. Then, forgiveness and love makes space for others. It allows their explaining, discussing, apologizing. It listens. It understands. It empathizes. In a sense, this gives my own imperfect self the same permission I extend.

In the giving of grace, we learn to receive it. It’s a crazy thing.

So today…

Grace to the person who cuts me off. I’ve ripped into the right lane to get off an exit.

Grace to the husband who speaks quickly. I’ve cut him off 100 times.

Grace to the woman who reacts sharply. I’ve had hard days too.

Grace to the mom who is anxious. Oh yes, I’ve walked a day in your shoes.

I’ll give you love and God will give me room to know I can lean back on him, even when I find myself leaning right into a pile full of problems.

Kelly’s new book, Fear Fighting: Awakening Courage to Overcome Your Fears has been called “A must read,” “Breathtakingly honest” and a “Great Toolbox to Overcome Fear.” Read it today.

Discover how to flee from fear and fly in faith through 4 Days to Fearless Challenge.

Get all Purposeful Faith blog posts by email – click here.

How is Your Heart?

July 24, 2017

purposefulfaith

birth, Contentment, doubt, dreams, guilt, hope

2 Comments

I’ve been watching the show, The Partner. In this show, Marcus Lemonis, puts many to the test but is selecting one right-hand-man or woman to be his partner. He puts each person through the wringer: he tests their knowledge of financial statements, has them run their own businesses, and places them in high-tension sales situations.

In a different way, God, also, is looking for just the right person…

…will He find you?

For the eyes of the Lord range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him. (2 Chron. 16:9)

Just as Marcus noticed how his contestants endured under fire, God notices as well. Not with the goal of eliminating us, but much with the same goal – of promoting us.

Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much. (Lu. 16:10)

Have you considered, the tests God is permitting are because he knows you’ll prove yourself strong, steadfast and worthy to move to greater things? Have you considered – he believes in you? Have you realized – he desires to move you into great and glorious things for his making?

At the end of the show, The Partner, there was 2 woman left: one was a Harvard genius the other was humble and willing to learn.

Marcus chose the second. I believe God often does too.

Where is your heart? Are you willing to learn? Or, are you set in your ways?

Notice: In 2 Chronicles 16:9, God didn’t say his eyes roam the earth for the best person, the wisest or the most qualified, he said he roams the earth to strengthen hearts “fully committed” to him.

To have a heart “fully” committed is to:

Ask God to search your heart.
Be willing to see what needs change.
To be humble enough to consider doing things differently.
To be open to God’s leading as he helps you do things differently.
To recycle, over and over again, items 1-4 above.

I believe, for this person: new doors are opened, their life is changed, and God’s hand blesses them in tremendous ways. Today, check your heart.

Kelly’s new book, Fear Fighting: Awakening Courage to Overcome Your Fears has been called “A must read,” “Breathtakingly honest” and a “Great Toolbox to Overcome Fear.” Read it today.

Discover how to flee from fear and fly in faith through 4 Days to Fearless Challenge.

Get all Purposeful Faith blog posts by email – click here.

Renew Your Weary Perspective

July 21, 2017

purposefulfaith

Contentment, failure, faith, grace

3 Comments

A few years ago, I thought I wanted a big house. I wanted massive square feet. I wanted a big yard, a long driveway and grass to plant flowers. I wanted it all. At least I thought. Until, I realized what I didn’t want: I didn’t want house problems, like leaks. I didn’t want snow plowing, every winter. I didn’t want, lawn mowing bills every week. I didn’t want house cleaning all the time. I didn’t want furniture bills up to my neck. I didn’t want housework without kid playtime. I didn’t want to live far away from friends. And, I didn’t want to feel like I was drowning under house chores.

That year, we sold the house – at a huge loss.

In retrospect, I realize, after selling the house, I stood at a decision point…

I could either wallow in my misery, thinking, I always lose money. I wasted so much cash on furniture I didn’t need. I cannot figure things out. I’ll always be lost. I’ll forever feel I don’t belong.

Or, I could recognize the issue, bring it to God, reframe my situation, and think differently. Like this:

Money comes and goes, but God’s care and providence for me endure forever.

Worth is what I invest in heaven, not what I see here.

My value is not my home, but God’s vast love for me.

What issue do you face? What seems to impossible to fix? How might you reframe it?

Begin by infusing into your problem what you’re thankful for. Then, move to praising your God for who he is thru your problem. End by requesting from God for eyes to see your problem afresh.

And always remember: There is no victory Christ can’t bring.

Kelly’s new book, Fear Fighting: Awakening Courage to Overcome Your Fears has been called “A must read,” “Breathtakingly honest” and a “Great Toolbox to Overcome Fear.” Read it today.

Discover how to flee from fear and fly in faith through 4 Days to Fearless Challenge.

Get all Purposeful Faith blog posts by email – click here.

When Your Past Returns to Haunt You

July 20, 2017

Abby Mcdonald

Freedom, grace, Regular Contributor

12 Comments

Blog Post by Abby McDonald

“Are you a pagan?”

I sat in a body-piercing studio with the owner gazing at a tattoo displayed on the nave of my back. It was a gnome, sitting on a mushroom and playing a fife. Everything about it screamed pot-smoker, hippy and apparently, pagan.

And to think I got it because I thought it looked cool. To me it said, “Outsider,” a label I gave myself during my younger years.

The man’s question caught me off guard. I was twenty-one at the time and wasn’t sure who I was, let alone what I believed.

“I don’t know,” I answered honestly. The artist seemed as surprised by my answer as I was. Immediately, I felt ashamed.

Who was this person, anyway?

I spent the next eight years trying to figure out the answer to that question. Eventually, I realized all of the places I ran to seek my identity were fickle and fading.

It wasn’t until I started with the One who gave me my eternal name that I would know my true self.

These days, my tattoo is usually hidden. But the other day, while on family vacation, I was changing into my swimsuit and my five-year-old saw it.

“Mama, what’s that on your back?”

I told him what the picture was and explained how a tattoo is like a permanent picture on your skin. Then, my mind went back. Back to the person I was. Back to the mistakes I made and the years I spent wasting my life. Things much bigger than a silly tattoo that shape the person I am today.

For a little while, I let the voice of condemnation darken the light in my soul.

Scenes of things I wish I’d never seen replayed in my mind. Faces of people who left this life for the next one burned in my memory and left my heart heavy.

Perhaps you’ve been there? You’re walking in the new life Jesus freely gave you, and then all of a sudden you’re hit with a blatant reminder of the mess you used to be? That, despite your best efforts, some days you still are?

In those dark moments when I’m not sure I can escape my past, God often gives me a reminder. This time was no different.

We arrived at the pool and found it closed because of an incoming storm. After playing for a while in the arcade next door, we made our way back to the campsite. As we made dinner, a beautiful site caught my eye.

A spectacular sunset over the river.

The sun was big and radiant, dipping to the horizon in a circular blanket of clouds. I hurriedly got my camera and ran down to the beach.

I must of snapped a dozen pictures, but when I flipped through them in my viewfinder I was disappointed. This huge ball of light and fire looked tiny and dim. I couldn’t capture its draw. It was uncontainable.

As I sat in our camper later that evening, I felt that gentle whisper in my spirit.

“Don’t try to put limits on my grace, Abby. It’s more limitless than the sun.”

And from his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace.

John 1:16 ESV

I was putting God in a box again, thinking I could somehow run outside his grace. But it doesn’t just cover me. It drenches me.

We can’t put finite limitations on the grace of an infinite God.

And the moment we stop trying to put God in a box, we find we don’t want Him there. We find freedom. We find joy and rest.

So today, if your past is trying to haunt you, take a lesson from my tattoo. Remember it shapes you, but it doesn’t define you.

God can take the shattered pieces of your life and turn them into something far more spectacular than a sunset. He does it each and every day. Sometimes we just need a reminder of who he is.

Sometimes we have to take him out of the box and come to the altar.

Abby McDonald is the mom of three, a wife and writer whose hope is show readers their identity is found in Christ alone, not the noise of the world. When she’s not chasing their two boys or cuddling their newest sweet girl, you can find her drinking copious amounts of coffee while writing about her adventures on her blog. Abby would love to connect with you on her blog and her growing Facebook community.

Yes, It’s true, God Sees You.

July 19, 2017

purposefulfaith

Contentment, doubt, faith, fear

2 Comments

Yesterday, was the “day of all days” for my little 3-year old, turning 4. Her birthday! The girl wasn’t asking for much…no toys, no gifts…she only wanted one thing: to be like mommy. And, she only had one request: to get her nails painted. So, although I figured she was way too young for this, I scuttled her off in the car, expectant of what God would do for her – only later, becoming completely surprised about what he did – for me.

At the nail store, little sweetheart was mesmerized by all the rainbow colors, the nail tools and her mom – she kept smiling, giving me the thumbs up and delighting in how all the “big” people in the salon were saying hi to her.

All was happy. But, then they moved her chair – and rather than her being right next to me, she was across the store.

All I could think was:

I’m missing her moment!
I’ve got to see my daughter!
Can I smile at her from here?

Leaning my head to the left and right, trying to view her through a slat, aiming to give her my best look, I suddenly was struck…

God looks at me the same way: he wants to see me, delight with me and enjoy my moments.

Just as I want to bless my daughter, God wants to bless me too.
Just as I want to delight in her special moments, God wants to delight with me.
Just as I am thrilled to see her joy, God is thrilled over my joy as well.

“If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!” (Mt. 7:7)

Later, after we got home and she showed off her nails to her brother and daddy, I thought about the little gift, the one wrapped all up in the top of the: a new dress. Specifically the one I told her in the store was, “too expensive.”

I bought it for her. And all my mind kept returning to was the moment she opened it: her face, her delight, her life, her thrill.

God sees us too, as we open his best gifts: our face, our delight, our life, our thrill.

There is no shame in enjoying his good things. Our good, good daddy delights in the giving and he loves our receiving his very best.

“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from (our) Father…” (Ja. 1:17)

Kelly’s new book, Fear Fighting: Awakening Courage to Overcome Your Fears has been called “A must read,” “Breathtakingly honest” and a “Great Toolbox to Overcome Fear.” Read it today.

Discover how to flee from fear and fly in faith through 4 Days to Fearless Challenge.

Get all Purposeful Faith blog posts by email – click here.

In the Fire of a Trial?

July 18, 2017

purposefulfaith

attack, Contentment, control, doubt

11 Comments

If some of you are being tossed around like bacon on a camp fire, in a way where parts of you are burning off…

…can I tell you something? I relate?

I know what it is to go through a time of wait, where all you need is answers.

I know what it is to struggle with relationships at a high-tension point.

I know what it is to see truths about yourself that hurt.

I know what it is to wonder if everything will work out.

I know what it is to feel like it never is going to end.

I’ve experienced this time and time again, in different ways: a near-diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis, financial debt, emotional issues, and endless trials. Tribulation keeps happening.

Even today.

What fire are you enduring? What do you feel like you are losing?

“These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith–of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire–may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.” (1 Pet. 1:7)

May I encourage you today? The fire you’re enduring is removing you and increasing God’s glory within you.

Through my Multiple Sclerosis issues, where my hands got numb and my eyes couldn’t see, I learned: Heaven is all that matters on earth and I have that WRAPPED UP!

Through my financial debt, when I had a double-digit-in-the-thousands negative balance, I learned for the future: It is good to have less stuff, it ties you down to debt less and frees you to move according to God’s will more.

Through my emotional issues, when I suffered with depression, I learned: God really does love me just the way I am. In this, I am free to trust him with the change he is leading me to. It will be good for me.

Through my endless trials, I learned: God, less of me and more of you.

Fire removes the impurities of our flesh and leaves us with the Spirit of God. Every time. It leaves the blaze on us. It ignites us with passion. It refuels us with glory.

Be encouraged: What you are enduring today will not kill you, it will make you, when all is said and done, more radiant, beautiful and sure in Christ Jesus.

Keep hanging on! He has a good hold on you.

Kelly’s new book, Fear Fighting: Awakening Courage to Overcome Your Fears has been called “A must read,” “Breathtakingly honest” and a “Great Toolbox to Overcome Fear.” Read it today.

Discover how to flee from fear and fly in faith through 4 Days to Fearless Challenge.

Get all Purposeful Faith blog posts by email – click here.

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A Big Blog Correction from Kelly Balarie

July 17, 2017

purposefulfaith

awe, Contentment, faith, God, grace, hope

3 Comments

Last week, at the end of my blog post, I wrote, “He who saves just might show up.” I want each and every one of you to know, I spoke a LIE. I was wrong. Dead wrong.

I completely botched that message– right on the last line. Nothing could be further from the truth.

So, here is my correction: “He who saves ~~just might~~ (WILL) show up.”

There is a 0% chance that God “might” show up in your life. There is a 100% chance God will show up. Revise this in your mind. Cross it out and post this one on the doors of your heart.

Because:

God is faithful.
God is true to his Word.
God redeems all, today, tomorrow or in heaven.
God is Savior and he keeps saving.
God is aware of everything you are going through.
God draws near to the brokenhearted.
God cares about those who are suffering.
God has a plan.
God knows your way.
God is in the details of your life.

None of this is dependent on you. Not anything.

“If we are faithless, He remains faithful, for He cannot deny Himself.” (2 Tim. 2:13)

Faithful even if we’re faithless, that is our God. Working, even if we haven’t the faintest idea how, that is our God. Mending, even if we don’t know where to even begin, that is our God.

He loves us anyway. He’s there for us always. And, our God? He WILL show up. No matter what you are facing, doing or believing. Faithful and True is faithful and true.

Kelly’s new book, Fear Fighting: Awakening Courage to Overcome Your Fears has been called “A must read,” “Breathtakingly honest” and a “Great Toolbox to Overcome Fear.” Read it today.

Discover how to flee from fear and fly in faith through 4 Days to Fearless Challenge.

Get all Purposeful Faith blog posts by email – click here.

Note: To the Unforgiven and Condemned Gals Like Me

July 14, 2017

purposefulfaith

attack, Contentment, doubt, faith, fear

2 Comments

To the daughter who can’t forgive herself for years past. . .God already has.
To the person frustrated they do nothing right. . . Christ Jesus sees himself – purity and righteousness – in you.
To the gal repeating I’m sorry to God. . .Your debt is as good as gone; God keeps no record of your wrong.
To the lady who only half believes in her new identity. . . there is no half-way “you” in God’s handbook.
To the person who feels miles less than free, who the son sets free, is free indeed.
To the child who feels under the microscope, God looks at you and is well pleased.

To want to be more, to try hard for God, to give it our all, to push with all our hearts, these can be good noble things. Yet, trouble comes, when we believe the job belongs to us. When we pull out brute strength. When we expect to muscle our way into some kind of new-glory. God deserves all glory.

Likewise, relief comes when we know this: Our sanctification belongs to God. Our growth is his to impart. Our spiritual strength is His to build or rebuild.

Knowing this, is paramount, because then, when we scuff a knee, or get in a tiff, or injure a loved one by accident, our world doesn’t explode like Hiroshima. “He who is all strength” is still for us.

Keeping our minds stayed, in rest, with God is our highest calling.

We do this by:

Allowing our hearts and minds to be “rooted and established in love” (Eph. 3:17)
Praying we would know “how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ.” (Eph. 3:18)
Opening our heart to need God’s nourishment, truth and direction.
“Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. (Jo. 15:4)
Confessing and believing – what is done is done.
“You will again have compassion on us; you will tread our sins underfoot and hurl all our iniquities into the depths of the sea.” (Mi. 7:19)

God is at work. He knows you. He has destined you for his greatness and he is conforming you to his image: “For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image.” (Ro. 8:29)

The work belongs to him, the freedom belongs to us. It is his timeline, not our stopwatch and this realization = freedom.

Kelly’s new book, Fear Fighting: Awakening Courage to Overcome Your Fears has been called “A must read,” “Breathtakingly honest” and a “Great Toolbox to Overcome Fear.” Read it today.

Discover how to flee from fear and fly in faith through 4 Days to Fearless Challenge.

Get all Purposeful Faith blog posts by email – click here.

Getting Saved from Problems

July 12, 2017

purposefulfaith

attack, awe, Contentment, doubt, failure

1 Comment

If you want to know how I found Jesus, know this: He found me.

Sure, pre-Jesus, I was religious. I knew how to go to church well. I knew how to say prayers. I knew how to follow rules. I knew how to make sacrifices. What I didn’t know was, love so great it would send you down to your knees because you wanted to go there. Because it was your joy to fall down. No. I didn’t know that.

I only knew striving hard and working hard to earn favor that felt about as unreachable as a life that mattered. It all frustrated me so. The idea of figuring out how to prove I was a prized daughter. The unquenchable desire to be seen and the corresponding desire to do everything right. The endless guilt and self-contempt. I always felt busted; I knew he always knew I wasn’t worthy enough.

And, it was tiring. I wore my body out doing all this. My weight dropped like a rock, my stomach turned knots in the night and my mind swung wild circles in the fog it lived in. It’s called Anorexia.

That’s where I went. We all go somewhere. Without God we all go somewhere to escape the vicious thought: God might hate me. I went there.

It was painful. And, to add pain to this injury, the drinking didn’t help. I nearly hated myself.

Have you been there? Perhaps, you’re there now. Perhaps, you are trying to pretend you aren’t there, while everything in you – knows, you are there.

Do you feel the distance between you and God?
Do you sense the anger at yourself?
Do you feel the pull towards old addictions?
Do you try to meet all God’s expectations, but feel helpless to do it?

Today, I want you to know there is no shame. We tend to look at life as colors of black and white, good or bad, God or Godless. And, while, absolutely, truth is truth, often our own spiritual progression is not so easily delineated.

Faith is a journey; you are the sojourner. Beyond this, greater is a truthful heart to God, than a story contrived to the world. A fake.

God wants your truth. He wants your heart and he wants your truth. Will you bare it to him? Reveal it without shame? Let him unravel it?

That is what I did way back when (and I still do today). I called out to God. I said, “I don’t know what I am doing anymore. I don’t know who I am Jesus. Will you help me, save me?”

It’s a prayer we should use often; it works. God always shows up. God always saves. God’s love completely endures, no matter how many years past a vibrant faith you are.

You are never too lost to be found.

He found me.

So, no matter where you stand on the spiritual spectrum, consider this: God is ready to save you, today. Why not let him?

Kelly’s new book, Fear Fighting: Awakening Courage to Overcome Your Fears has been called “A must read,” “Breathtakingly honest” and a “Great Toolbox to Overcome Fear.” Read it today.

Discover how to flee from fear and fly in faith through 4 Days to Fearless Challenge.

Get all Purposeful Faith blog posts by email – click here.