Purposeful Faith

Get Rid of Jealousy (Link-up)

Get Rid of Jealousy Once and For Al


I could only see the distance God took her.

The places she was set to go.

The open doors she got to walk through;
they same ones that slammed shut in my face. 

The must-have-been joy all on her face
as comments galore flooded her blog.

I could taste the sourness in my mouth
and feel the irritation well up in my heart.

She had everything and I walked away with nothing.

I used to be this kind of girl. The kind of girl that wanted only me to succeed. The kind of girl who couldn’t deal with the success of others. I really hate to say it – because it’s embarrassing to see this always in turmoil, always watching, never happy girl.

Jealous girl. Greedy girl. Needy girl.

I have fought this girl time and time again. I have told her to take a hike. I have told her she is wrong. I have told her she is ungodly.

She normally didn’t care much because she always returned. Despite my best attempts to push her underground, to pretend she didn’t exist – that dang girl kept haunting me.

But, one day, God prompted my heart to make one small change. And, oh my goodness, I just praise him that I listened.

Because this one small step of obedience changed the entire terrain of my heart. It’s as if this one step of obedience invited a landscaper in to level everything. His work left my mouth dropped.

But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it–he will be blessed in what he does. (James 1:25)

When God calls us to untraveled, unlevel places of faith, he brings us there to transverse the most astounding, the most astonishing and the most breathtaking terrain of our lives. Terrain that leaves us charged to go to new places.

We leave knowing it was his work, because in this place, we got to behold his glory, perceive his beauty and witness his loyalty. We leave, perceiving life from a different perspective. Our soul is compelled to go new distances and new places.

It feels like the Israelites as they muster the courage to step into our promised land. We get faithful and then he brings us there.

He did this for me.

He called me to more.

He asked me to leave comparison behind.

To wave goodbye to inadequacy.

And to begin encouraging and uplifting.

As I did this, my dry desert heart began to sink away and an amazing thing replaced it.

The more I encouraged my fellow bloggers through
the #RaRalinkup, the more my heart was replenished.

The more I saw each person’s pain and hardships,
the more my heart softened.

The more I lifted another up,
the more my love grew for them.

The more I felt a heart uplifted,
the more mine was.

The more I saw their love for God,
the more I wanted them to succeed.

Christ’s love was taking over.

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. (1 Jo. 4:18)

Each step of love, is a step towards life. Each step of encouragement, is a step towards excitement. Each step of faith is a step towards something greater than me and loftier than my sole vision.

God has opened my eyes up to the power of his body – a body working together in unison.

Rather than rallying against them, we rally together on Twitter and the blogosphere in the name of Christ. There is no fear in love. We are so much more effective as a whole than as a part. I see God accomplishing big Kingdom-work through this group of women.

Together we are powerful.

God pushed me to encourage. Now, I only want the best for these women I once envied. I delight in their successes and mourn at their losses – authentically. I truly want God to take each one of them to his greatest heights. I delight in cheering for them. I want to help them.

What a transformation. Am I always perfect, no, but who is? But, I am 99% changed.

I praise God because he is the great Transformer. He is always ready to lead us to more. The question is – are we listening? I saw how one small prompting could open a floodgate of love and change a heart completely.

So, it inclines my heart to wonder, what other small things is he speaking? Am I missing them?
How is he calling me to greater love?
Because I have learned, when he calls us somewhere it will stagger us.

When we let God in, he truly changes the landscape of our heart. He works and reworks everything that is out of place. When we get rid of jealousy, we see God’s beauty.

A Note to the #RaRalinkup Linkup Team,
My heart beats for what makes your heart beat. Thank you for teaching me true love. God has used you mightily in my life. I am forever grateful. You encourage me more than I could ever begin to encourage you.

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Kelly, a fun-loving, active and spunky mom of two rambunctious toddlers, spends her days pushing swings, changing diapers and pursuing the Lord with all her heart. Called a "Cheerleader of Faith", Kelly's greatest desire is to help women live passionately, purposefully and unencumbered for the Lord.

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91 CommentsLeave a comment

  • I want to thank you for teaching me what encouragement looks like and how lifting others up lifts you up closer to God. Your words teach, reach and love and each week your blog is a favorite place to visit. I know the lesson you speak of above and it is one that I am still learning myself but isn’t it great when God is willing to teach us over and over? Have a blessed day, Kelly! You shine for God and He loves you so!!!

    • Mary, your words here touch the deep places of my heart. This, is what it is all about. We are all works-in-progress and Jesus will complete his work in us. God loves you beyond measure. Your heart pursues him with passion and fervor; I admire that.

  • My heart swells every Monday with the outpouring of love that takes places on Twitter! Kelly, the Lord has created something incredible through you and I couldn’t agree more: #RaRaLinkUp gals “rally together on Twitter and the blogosphere in the name of Christ.”

    • Me too. Me too And Me too! When I started blogging again, God challenged me to be content, even in the face of anothers success. Then, I discovered link ups. I feel like new life is breathed into me each and every time I participate. Thank you!

      • Samantha, thank you for joining us for the linkup today. What a joy it is to have you. New life is breathed as we come to encourage, unite and link arms (and linkup). 😉 Much love to you as you share on your blog.

    • I know Sarah. I am right there with you. I love the outpouring of joy and community. I am so thankful that God led me to this too. Go team #RaRalinkup. We are shaking things up!

  • You are such a beautiful example of rallying together, Kelly! Thank you for all of the work you have done to create the #RaRaLinkup and help it thrive as it is today. I’m so blessed to have connected with you on Twitter and been invited into this amazing sisterhood. Jealousy of other writers and bloggers is definitely something I’ve dealt with over the past year and a half since coming into this online world. Thank you for this much needed encouragement, my friend!

    • Thank you sweet Candace. I think we have the most amazing community in this group of bloggers. It is absolutely a sisterhood of love and unity. What a special thing that God brought you to us. He always gives us what we need!

    • Kristine, have a blessed day and I pray that your friend is blessed as you promote her. Feel free to link up later in the week too, if you want to. Know that you are loved. I so valued your email to me the other day. Blessings.

  • yes- God changes the landscape of our hearts- love that word picture.

    “Jealous girl. Greedy girl. Needy girl” sounds like an awesome line for an illustrated kids book- I can picture her :). Thanks for #RaRaLinkUp

    • Ha! How true Astrid. You can totally tell where our daily mindset is – can’t you? Kids. ha! Love you and I am delighted to see your face and comment here today. May you be blessed in all you do.

  • Wow, Kelly! Nothing like kicking the Enemy right in the face by reaching out to others in exactly the area you were struggling in! I love this essay. We all deal with comparison and envy….a constant battle unless our eyes are fixed on Jesus who is generous with His gifts, more than enough for all of us. Thank you for your courage back then and for your constant support and opportunity to grow through the linkup now!!

  • Oh Kelly I love your heart! It’s amazing the community you have built here and we all feel the love surrounding us. Jesus is doing wonderful works through you and I’m so proud to be a part of it!!!!

  • “Each step of faith is a step towards something greater than me and loftier than my sole vision.” Kelly what a vulnerable and needed post. I cannot imagine there is a speaker, writer, blogger out there that has not struggled with this at some point but truly we are working together rather than competing against each other. I am thankful for your words and so thankful for the encouragement you have provided me. May God return what you have given to others back to you. Be blessed! Kia

    • Thank you Kia. I praise God that his purposes extend so much further than my limited points of view, perceptions and judgements. He teaches us so much about his greatness when we allow him to. Thanks for encouraging my soul.

  • Man Kelly,

    This is so amazingly timely…especially since I know I will blogging bout this very thing next week. I just love how God weaves the cries of all our hearts together. You should know that you provided me a place to encourage without limits or boundaries. And it leaves no place for anything else to creep in. And yes, the more I encourage, the more encouraged I am. I remember waiting for my blog to get done…and cheering everyone on. I got a rush each week. I could not wait to give more each week. Still so much to do with it, but it is not my first priority each week. Oh no…my energy is spent on whose life I can speak into each day.

    And you humility goes without notice. You have no idea what this community means to so many. Your encouragement has literally breathed life into many who did not even feel they had something to say. I have come to witness many gift resurrect right here at #RaRaLinkUp. God is honoring your pure heart. And I am honored to hang out with you each week.

    Love you HUGE, my Sister/my Friend!

    • Thank you sweet Yolanda. I praise God for what he is working through your blog and through you. You are a powerful warrior for the Lord. I listened to your story and was astonished by his workings. I am honored to love you and to know you. Let’s press on towards Jesus.

  • Beautiful Kelly! It’s hard to believe that you used to be the way you describe yourself. You are so completely the opposite of that! God truly has transformed your heart. I am so grateful for your love and support. God brought me into this beautiful community at a time when I was really struggling, and I have been uplifted and blessed beyond measure!
    Much love to you,

    • Kamea, time and time again the Lord has delivered me from my worst self. I am so thankful for you. I feel a connection to you and a love for you and an understanding of you. It’s interesting to me. NO other explanation that the Lord put it there for me. Much love. Keep on walking in his love.

  • Sweet friend you have made this scripture visible “that there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another.” 1 Corinthians 12:25
    God is rewarding your obedience.

    • I love that verse. No division. Just loyalty and care for all the parts that make up Jesus’ body. God is. He is faithful. When we seek him, he doesn’t let us down. Thank you dear friend for just being you.

  • Beautiful, friend. I have watched you grow over the past several months and I am so proud of you. Your words exhort and encourage us to be the best version of ourselves. I love watching you soar and reach of all that God has for you. xoxo

  • I praise God because he is the great Transformer. He is always ready to lead us to more. The question is – are we listening? I saw how one small prompting could open a floodgate of love and change a heart completely.

    Oh Kelly! You are making such a difference for each one of us and in His Kingdom! Thank you. As He has been leveling your terrain, you’ve been plowing new ground and sowing GOOD, GOOD seed in us. Hugs! Susan

    • Let us be transformed. I just pray that we go the distance for him. Thank you Susan, your words make me want to go even harder for him. Love you! Hugs right back at you.

  • I am grateful for the difference God makes in our lives. I appreciate your encouragement here and on iBelieve.com
    God Bless you and thanks for the linkup and guest post opportunity.

    You are indeed a cheerleader.

    Many Blessings to you and your team.

  • I know those needy girls well…. and how they steal joy and contentment. Thank you for inviting us into your journey and showing us how to find our way out of the lies. Your words are beautifully crafted and bring much hope. Thank you!

  • “When we get rid of jealousy, we see God’s beauty.” Oh, how true this is. When we are busy comparing ourselves with others we not only miss the beauty in them, we miss the beauty in ourselves, too. How much better to lift each other up! Like you said, Kelly, “Together we are powerful.” God is working in our lives raising up women who love Him and who can encourage one another. Love to you, Kelly! xo

    • It is so much better to be powerful together. It’s like I can almost imagine us all in heaven joining hands and having a huge party together. Powerful stuff that I wouldn’t want to do alone.

  • Kelly, I am completely undone by the heart behind this post. This has blessed me in such a way, it leaves me a little surprised. “Each step of faith is a step towards something greater than me and loftier than my sole vision.” This is so true! I am in a season of obedience and started a blog just a few months ago. We have a heart for human trafficking and have been designing a clothing capsule that will launch in the summer to give back. I think about all my fears and shortcomings. I am reminded daily how all encompassing the Love our Abba Father has for us. He equips us in every way. He’s so patient with me. I was just talking with a friend about walking this “blogging” thing out in obedience and not getting hung up on seeing past the very next step. Since we started, God has always shown us “what was next.” I am a creature of habit and most of my life {I’m 43 but 29 at heart} I’ve made lists, crossed them off, had everything figured out and planned to the T before I would start a project. This is totally out of my comfort zone and at times it has felt a little lonely. At times I have found my self comparing. I also am learning how to write. I feel my giftings are more missional/compassion and marketing. The writing thing is a work in progress. I am so grateful to find this community. Truthfully, I’ve known about you for a while as I’ve studied other link ups and have the desire to start my own soon. I have tried to connect on other forms of social media and have found it to be overwhelming at times. My hearts desire is to connect with women this year as God has called me to gather and grow. I feel I’ve found a home and look forward to reading many of the posts in this link up. It’s exciting to find women who want to be cheerleaders in this space. I feel blogging sometimes can look or feel a little self seeking and I LOVE the heart behind this link up. So grateful to be a part. So grateful to read other posts and know these women AND learn how to become a better writer and more than anything, I’m so grateful that God has called me into this great unknown, this place and space I would have NEVER gone on my own. He told me in Africa to get out of the boat and that I did. This part of your post hit me in my heart and reminded me of what God spoke to me while there. “When God calls us to untraveled, unlevel places of faith, he brings us there to transverse the most astounding, the most astonishing and the most breathtaking terrain of our lives. Terrain that leaves us charged to go to new places.” THANK YOU for the blessing of your post. It hit me in a totally different way than I thought and I’m thankful. God bless you girl, Amy <3

    • Thank you for sharing this with me. I see the desire of your heart. I know God will be faithful to you as you reveal your heart more and more to him. I praise him that he spoke through this post. Keep on keeping on Amy! 🙂

  • Dear Friend- Your transparency is so refreshing and helps me have more courage to reveal the deep places of my heart- those ugly places that often go unchecked if I don’t bring them to light and expose them for what they are. Thank you for your honesty and for helping us be more real through your example. Love reading your heart on paper (err I mean screen, but paper soon, like in a book, I pray).:)

    • Thank you Katie. I think God is calling all of us women deeper. We gotta go real and raw and transparent. We have all the other stuff. I am letting him push me there. I praise God that it spoke to you. It is an honor to have you as a friend.

    • I am delighted you are here Amanda. You are always welcome. Tweet me at @kellybalarie to be included in the Monday #RaRalinkup party. I am so happy you are here. Let the party start! 🙂

  • Kelly,
    Oh, girl! We are similar is many ways. I’ve fought this monster, too. My guess is that many have. Oh, but when we look beyond ourselves, when we simply trust that He’ll take care of life, then it all comes together. You truly are an encourager and your link-up is a gift. I praise God and thank you.
    And, I love this —>>> The more I lifted another up, the more my love grew for them.

    • I hate that monster. I praise God for what he is teaching me. We are so much better with our sisters and with love than alone and successful. Phew. There is release in saying that. Let’s press on according to his mission for us Kristi. We go according to his plan for us.

  • Sometimes reaching out to others is really about ourselves. Sounds selfish at first. But we always “expect” or want for our reaching out to others to bless them, sometimes we’ve missed that God put them in our paths to grow ourselves, heal us, and inspire us.
    In public we try to be humble with compliments and encouragements. But behind my computer screen when I’ve had the hardest day possible and one of my RaRa gals sends me encouragement, I don’t have to hold a humble poker face. I can break down, cry and just thank God for His perfect timing and the love I receive from you ladies.
    Thank you.

    • I love your words here Deborah. It is about us. You are right. Sometimes God has some work to do in us rather than through us. Love that. You get my wheels turning. Thank you.

  • Oh Kelly…what a sweet, brave, humble post this is. And God will and has lifted you up, bestowing grace. And you share that grace in the form of encouragement with all of us at #RaRaLinkup. And it is truly a gift in my life to be a part of this group and to know you. Thank you!! And your words…they reach deep into the heart with truths we can all relate to. Keep standing strong and being real. You bring Him honor. Love you, girl! xxoo

  • Oh my goodness Kelly, we’ve all been there. I have hated the way I’ve felt at times. Then God changes everything. Not all at once, but just like you said, one person at a time.
    We don’t “own our known.” You are so transparent. Makes me love you even more.
    Christy ~

  • Hi Kelly! God sure has a way of powerfully changing us. He truly spoke to your heart because you wanted him to change you…how could he deny you? You have made such a lovely community here, and it’s because of your heart for him and his children. Beautiful! Thank you for your testimony today 🙂

  • Thank you for this because I felt this way for the longest time. Actually it has not been that long since I felt this way. I love the analogy that you use of a flower garden. That makes so much sense. I always remind myself that even if one person reads my post, that may be the person that God has intended to read it. I enjoyed listening to this one, but I always seem to have trouble leaving a comment on that page.

  • Your words are so full of truth today. I know that this is an area where I’ve struggled. Thank you for your honesty and encouragement. You’re right, we can ask God to change our hearts and he will do that!

    • I love that he cares for us Dawn. He sees us and he delights in helping us. It is encouraging my heart to go to him more and more. Love you! Thank you for joining me in this journey. I feel that God is doing some awesome things here.

  • Kelly, thank you for answering the call to be obedient in encouraging. Not only are you faithfully encouraging others, but leading others to be encouragers as well. Amen. Amen!
    xoxo – Letetia

    • It is an honor to be used this way. It is so exciting Letitia. Thank you for speaking love into my heart and for joining this group of Jesus lovers as we lift him and each other up!

  • Kelly, do you know what a gift you are? I was wallowing around in the blogging world feeling so isolated and fatigued and pointless… and then I stumble across a blogger who is promoting your linkup… and pow! I find myself in this enormous and exquisite family of writers, inspired by you, who are hooked on building each other up and proclaiming His holy love. And I haven’t been the same. And each week I read all your words and they seep into dry places and He has made you this mighty Gift, girl.
    And now I might, maybe, quite possibly, need to track down a kleenex, so I’ll leave it at that.
    But you have my absolute gratitude, and you’re being prayed for that God continue to touch lives with those amazing words He inspires you with!
    Much love and thanks for all you are.

    • This note made me cry. There is so much power behind this. Can I just tell you how much I appreciate you bearing your heart to me? I praise God that his plan is for all of us. He is calling us all to something far deeper than ourselves. I love that.

  • Shew! I have been that girl, and it’s still something I struggle with a lot. The “why not me?” mentality is difficult to shake off sometimes. Thank you for your encouraging words!

  • Your encouragement is worth gold to me, Kelly. GOLD. It is like oil to the heart – soothing the aches. I know that you listen to the Lord before you encourage, because so often what you say to me is exactly what I needed to hear. But, I was being a crybaby and not listening to the Lord when He spoke. So, He sent you. And I finally listened.

    Thank you for sharing your heart with this post. You have a great heart and loving spirit!

    You make Monday fun. 🙂

    • I praise Jesus for how he crafted this story. His stories are amazing aren’t they? I love that he is speaking through my words. That is my hearts desire. YAY that you listened YAY that God is making huge strides. No more crybaby Dana! We are both listening now. 😉

  • Well this is me slappin’ a BIG FAT AMEN! on this one!! Haven’t we ALL been there is we are brutally HONEST? Yes? I thought so!! 😉 I adore you Kelly and can’t wait to meet your Jesus lovin’ self!! OH…And THIS:
    “Together we are powerful.”
    Translation: We accomplish more as a team than we could alone. We are like a great stew-we add add our own “Flava” to the pot and that is what makes the stew DELISH!! Hugs and cjeers coming at ya! <3

    • Thank you dear Christy. We have all been there. That is wrought with nothing good. I can’t wait to meet you too dear one. We will have some fun together. I can’t help but have a sneaky feeling that our sisterhood is meant for something bigger. I am feeling something rise up.

  • Just what I needed, today, Kelly! Praise God that His love and blessings are infinite, and what He gives to another in no way diminishes how He loves us. May we have His heart and respond to what others need, without fear. Thanks for the beautiful post & for hosting, and God bless!

  • Kelly, I really can’t even put into words how amazing you are! You are just lovely in every way. Everything that you said here, I totally understood because I’ve been there as well. Thank GOD that HE’S in the business of loving us unconditionally and teaching us to do the same for others. You are a great friend and just an incredible person and I love you dearly! Infinite blessings to you, Dear Heart! 🙂

  • Kelly,

    I have had this post saved to read and comment on all week. I read and stop, read and get interrupted, read and….

    I come today after a beautiful lunch with a dear friend, whom I met blogging, and we talked about our hearts and numbers and dreams and His will and finally coming to the reality that His LOVE… it is the only measuring rod we need.

    Easier to say it than believe it.But why?
    Because we long to be recognized. To get the thumbs up.

    We were made to encourage, created to praise, built to replicate love.

    And what I love is the deep soul-filling gift of encouragement that is evident here. Not only by your words but I was blessed just in reading the comments.

    As we cheer one another on, praying and blessing, self-preservation becomes less important. How like Christ is that, laying diwn our battle shields for friends and picking up foundation stones to build up their walls?. 🙂

  • I have to wholeheartedly agree! The women I have come across on the #RaRaLinkUp have been so encouraging that it makes me want to be available. I find myself praying for them because they pop into my mind during the day. I am so grateful for this community. Thank you!! ♥

  • Thank you so much..I’m also a person who is filled with so much of jealousy and envy and I asked God to remove these feelings but instead He told me to encourage, uplift and pray for the people around me which was a bit surprising to me as I didn’t want to encourage someone whom I detested so much but in obedience to Him I started doing it in whichever whatever way possible..Now your blog is definitely a confirmation as to this is how we overcome the spirit of jealousy..

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