His face said it all: his brows furrowed inward, his eyes squinted and his mouth was as tight as a rubber band ready to explode. My son was angry at himself. In all his 6-years of wisdom, he knew – he’d done something he wasn’t happy with.
He looked up at daddy and said, “I want to go in time-out for 2 minutes – for you, daddy…”
My son’s words got me thinking recently, as a friend offered me unsolicited advice I knew I shouldn’t be listening to. God had already made my steps clear: I was to wait on Him until wisdom came. I knew this was the plan. Yet, as I sat down with this friend and they started talking on and on about what I should do, my heart started to plummet.
Would it really turn out okay? I really should save myself. Is anyone there to help me?
While one minute I was standing strong with God, the next, I was tumbling over with fear. I was buckling in with anxiety.
Ever been there? Ever been sure of what God wanted you to do, only to act out the exact opposite?
I let another’s influence invade a boundary God had established. And, I felt horrible about it.
What do you feel horrible about? What boundary has been invaded in your life, in a way where you constantly beat yourself up? In a way where you feel bad, horrible and no good? In a way where you’re not sure you can ever be nice to yourself again?
Because of what I did, I was convinced God was stripping me of all my good girl medals. It was as if, the row of trophies I’d earned – were disappearing before my very eyes. I was being demoted on his team and I was being relegated to the sidelines.
I could almost see it all happening and transpiring because of my faithlessness. You’re out, Kelly! You’re out! So, I took myself out of the game. I counted myself unworthy. I discounted my standing. I practically said to God, “I want to go in time-out for 2 minutes – for you, daddy.”
Like me, are you keeping yourself in time out – for daddy? Are you holding yourself back to make right what you know you made wrong? Are you punishing yourself?
For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. Jo. 3:17
If Jesus didn’t come to put us in permanent time out…then why do we send ourselves there? Why do we stay far from the Healer who wants to heal?
If Jesus came to save and not punish,
his procedure is to heal us and not ruin us.
With this idea in mind, we can approach him from a feeling of loved, adored and about-to-be restored, rather than failing and floundering.
When can approach like this:
- I am sorry God.
- You forgive me God.
- I am holy God, in you.
- Nothing can change that.
- I am blameless in you.
- You are leading me a new way.
And then, we realize, we were never outside of his love, but we were always in it and, then, we remember it is his love that heals us every time.
Kelly’s new book, Fear Fighting: Awakening Courage to Overcome Your Fears has been called “A must read,” “Breathtakingly honest” and a “Great Toolbox to Overcome Fear.” Read it today.
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2 CommentsLeave a comment
I’ve done this so many times and can relate. A wise, iron sharpens iron, friend let me know that, in the end, God’s name for us and plans for us is ALL that matters. As long as we’re faithful to him there is nothing stripping us of our goodness. We are good because He is. Sending hugs. I love your heart for Jesus. Keep on!
I don’t know how I ever thought He wasn’t going to heal me, when He had made the sacrifice already. I believed it. Something sown deeply in your heart, the devil can not take away, even if you do goof up your confession at times. He loves so much more than we now. He was punished for us. Our peace.