Category - fear

7 Ways to Speak Grace Into Your Life

May 11, 2016

blessings, Contentment, faith, fear, grace, guilt

Every week, after church, I ask my son what song he sang. I wait. Half the time, I get no answer, the other half, I exert patience until he starts to belt it out from the back of the car. Almost always, a smile spreads across my face. Almost always, I can’t wait to hear his little voice reflect on God, but this time, it was different…

“Pat, the bible. Pat the bible….,” he sang out a couple of times….
“Or, you will get a con. se. quence.” he finished off.

Every time he sang it, it got a little louder, until the full volume of his voice filled the car. Sister joined in. It’s been the song of the week.

Is it the song of my life?

Why do I pat the bible?

Do I do it out of love or do I do it out of fear?

Do I draw near to God, because I fear God’s disapproval or
to sit under Jesus’ undue, but already-gifted approval?

To perform, due to fear of disapproval sounds like this:

– I must pray more.
– I really need to be more loving.
– I have to do my morning reading time.
– God won’t bless this.
– I will never meet his expectations of me.
– I will be less loved because of it.
– I am obligated to go to church.
– If I mess up, severe punishment awaits.
– I am a bad Christian.

I feel these ways sometimes, friends. I fear God will want to disown me because I haven’t paid the right Christian dues. I haven’t paid the piper enough. It is a horrible way to live; it serves the wrong kind of daddy – an impatient, punishing and demanding one.

“Pat the bible. Pat the bible – or you will get a con. se. quence.”

“The LORD is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and rich in love.” (Psalm 145:8)

God knows I sin. God knows, even my good acts are bad (Is. 64:6).

I know it too; this is my fear. I look at my heart, it strays. I look at my mind, it doubts. I look at my ways, they reek of impatience.

God, do you hate me for the ways I hate myself?

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. (1 Jo. 4:18)

With gentleness, these words remind me, He waits for me – not like a jailer, but like a releaser, with the key. He’s ready to fling wide the gates of outpouring love as I truly draw near to his heart. To get there, I have to find myself sitting under grace.

To sit under undue approval sounds like this:

I am sorry, God. Thank you that you still love me.
I don’t need to do anything, for it is only you that I need.
If I find your love, I will find my life.
I seek your Word, because I love your Words.
My best is not good, but your good is all I need.
Your kindness leads to repentance, so walk me to it, God. (Ro. 2:4)
Thank you that you continue to love me, even though…

The gentle truth is: God doesn’t look at our performance, he looks at our heart. He goes beyond curtains and stages and facades to get a look at the behind the scenes footage. Why not, let God in more?

Why not, lay down our shows? Sure, we won’t rule the hows or the whens, but God will mold us in the reflection of his face of love and adoration.

Getting “Good with Grace” Prayer

God, I am not who I pretend to be. I want you to see me as a good girl. So often, I feel like a bad girl, though. Thank you that, with you, there is no need for masks and makeup. You want to see me as I am; I don’t scare you. You can handle my worst as I bring it to you. With this, I no longer want to cower before you, I want to kneel – arms-wide-open – and look into your face of love. I want that face of love to change me. I want to know there is no fear present in your love that will always flow towards me. I want to sit under the cross of Jesus, knowing that it shades me from your contempt. Help me stay there. You are the face of freedom. I thank you for Jesus. I love you; may it prove genuine. Amen.

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Changing When You Hate Change

May 6, 2016

purposefulfaith

Contentment, doubt, expectations, faith, fear

6 Comments

After college, I fled my home on the east coast and rushed to a west coast adventure. My new boss and I flung around the sun-soaked city streets of L.A. in a black Mercedes. I felt free. I felt ready. She was teaching me the ropes of sales and how to close the deal with men who were in high positions. I was a sponge – ready to learn, ready to train and ready to acquire knowledge – but, her instruction? It stopped me…

“Kelly,” she said, “You just do what you have to do – to get the deal done.”

My heart sunk. I got the subliminal message.

Smiling (and with what I am now convinced was a – wink?), she pulled next to my dream car – a luxury red-hot convertible. It shined succulent. She looked at me and said, “Bite it.” No, she didn’t say that, but almost, she said, “Kelly, if you want that car, it is yours…”

And there I was. I stood on the cliff of decision.

Would I welcome change or would I be changed forever by not changing jobs?

Change is interesting. It is like an unwelcome demand by someone (namely God) to do something I am not ready for. It almost always comes at the wrong time – and I’m almost always resistant.

Are you resistant?

Usually, a silent warning lays right under its surface…“You better do something about this or you are going to get hurt….”

Pondering this, and gazing out the window, I couldn’t help but think that God doesn’t demand nature change seasons. It is gradual and seamless. Natural. Welcome, even.

What is the difference?

What am I missing?

Author Daniel Strain, from Science News, describes nature’s budding process like this: “The buds suck up water, growing until they are ready to explode. The petals and sepals – the outer, greener portion of a flower gradually invert, then peel open like a banana and form a blossom.”

4 Things That Buds Know About Change That We Don’t:

1. The buds “suck up” water. Do I? Do you? Do you drink in the living water of love so that when you hit the desert you don’t think it’s your new home?

“But whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst.” Jo. 4:14

2. The buds are ready to “explode”. If I fill myself up with truth about what God will do, I will much more be able to explode into life change. I just remember: 1.) God is with me 2.) God is for me 3.) He always has a very, very good plan.

3. The outer portion of “the petal turns inward”, before turning outward. Changing hurts; this is why you draw in. You have to cover, pray and seek God, before you can bust out and shine.

4. They peel open “like a banana”. Getting peeled like a banana, well, it doesn’t sound too buttoned-up and managed. It sounds humble. Willing. Receptive to what is happening. It sounds much like losing control, in trust, that God is in control.

God is consistent. Nature knows. It awaits the beautiful about to explode from barren.

Maybe we become like nature? We might then be able to believe and proclaim, “Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.” James 1:17

We will know – all will turn out okay…

We just suck up water, explode with truth, turn in and then – unfold into the new creation that, God, all along, has been working us into.

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10 Lessons: Don’t let Worry Steal Your Joy (One Day Longer)

May 4, 2016

purposefulfaith

Contentment, doubt, fear, Worry

2 Comments

I spun like a crazed woman on a treadmill, except for the fact that I was actually on an elliptical. My arms moved as if they were ready to punch the world right out of my way. My eyes focused as if I was really going to finally get myself somewhere. My legs moved trying to knee pressing issues right out of the way.

I was the wild gym-goer –
the girl trying to force herself to new ground –
ground that was unattainable to get to.

I kept spinning. Spinning worries. Spinning problems. Spinning up things that could go wrong. Building a whole lot of motion that was moving me nowhere.

Motion.

In my mind’s dictionary, it means:
1. Trying to force yourself to go, make progress or get ahead.

In the dictionary of classical mechanics (which, I know by heart – joke!), it means:
1. A body either is at rest or moves with constant velocity, until and unless an outer force is applied to it.

An outer force? There was no outer force around me, just an inner force, an inner force of doubt driving my pursuits.

I didn’t trust “Outer Force” would work on my timeline, or according to my demands or with my outcome. God may have some answer like, “Kelly, wait.” Or, “Kelly, my will is being done.”

I get frustrated with those kinds of answers. I get internally irate and put an arm up – choosing worry over wonder.
Do you?

Pumping. Sweating. Pressing in – to my more. I considered God.

And, as if the clouds parted and my mind hit some new parallel of peace, it landed – softly.

I watched him through the giant window. Chilling. Eating. Laughing, almost, at me. He came to teach me something.

10 Lessons Taught by A Bird:

1. Don’t ever forget this verse when you start to worry: Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? (Mt. 6:26)

2. God doesn’t look at his answers for us as limited, but unlimited. Just as the birds pluck for ample food on the ground, so does God have ample food for me.

3. Life is not feast or famine; it is a continual feast I have to choose to believe in. The birds don’t walk heads down, they walk heads high, knowing God is right about ready to deliver them to their next feed.

4. It doesn’t matter what everyone else has.

God has intentionally mined the ground with “glorious riches in Christ Jesus” meant just for me. (Phil 4:19)

5. There is no need to bump up against other people who don’t do what they should. God has them on their own path for food and joy.

6. There is an invitation by God to frolic and fancy life. In between his great providence, there is a game of “chase” going. We can join in like a little baby bird, who knows life is short and troubles pass.

7. What looks like a dark, vast covering of trees before you, is really just a call to adventure. It is the place you fly into knowing that God is going to take you on a ride that will thrill you. You just have to grab onto his carpet and let him lead.

8. Be present and be calm. Birds don’t have one dang concern about pending storms or world issues. I don’t see them building bunkers or walking around with defensive artillery. It seems they let go of threats that surround them – and let God ground them.

9. To see God everywhere is to see peace, joy and answers abound. Birds keep looking. They move their head left and right like little pendulums. Somehow, I guess, they are soaking things in.

10. We see life through the vantage point of me, myself and I, yet God’s view is sky-high – like a bird sees. There are things up there we can’t see. Probably, things that would blow our mind – disappointments that were used by God to create divine appointments, things like that. It’s a symphony of eternity; it reverberates beyond us.

These birds. They speak to me – almost – singing, “You gotta trust the bird’s eye view to get through.”

My velocity and intensity settle. My arms feel like they can finally be – at rest. I look and soak it all in.

God has this.

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How God Will Make Your Impossible – Possible

April 29, 2016

purposefulfaith

awe, Contentment, dreams, faith, fear

5 Comments

When there is nothing left to do in a day, and my mind has nowhere left to go, right or wrong, Facebook and I get friendly. It’s the mindless scroll that numbs a mind. It’s the old faces that remind me of days yesterday. It’s a knowledge that somehow everyone is okay. It is just seeing and being. Yet, this time, God wasn’t content to let me sit. He wanted to show me some little things; little things ready to teach me big things.

First, an old friend caught my attention…

My beautiful friend‘s husband made her a special contraption for “little arm” so she could blow dry her hair without issue. Hmmm…powerful. Her husband helped her to do what was difficult for her to do.

God, let me see what you want me to see…

My thumb got arthritical again. I scrolled, then I hit this video (Life).

It was daddy, super-daddy, I’ll call him – he made a super-duper, over-the-hips harness holder for his son, who I am sure, beyond a shadow of a doubt, had never walked a day in his life. The pure joy written all over his face made that clear. He was all things laughs, exuberance and pleasure. It was his moment on daddy’s toes. Not black and white, but shades of alive.

I want my moment on daddy’s toes.

Where he rescues me. Where he helps me to move in ways I never considered. Where he blesses me beyond measure. This is life. This is what pixels and images of years passing all add up to.

That boy’s face explained it – it is the elation that you are loved.

God, teach me, right here and now, teach me…

In his unfathomable love, God does not see our lackings, but he sees the makings of incredible about to explode.

We don’t have to see it – to believe it.
He’s a good, good, daddy.

Where we feel incapable, he is capable.
Where we feel down, he is ready to lift.
Where we say, I can’t, he says, “You will – just wait.”

We just believe and then we, fly into his purposes…

Will I give him a chance? Will you?

What if my friend didn’t accept the gift or the gesture? What if that boy pushed away the over-the-hip harness holder? What would have happened?

How often do you – or do I – miss the insane workings of God because we get prideful and believe we can do it on our own?

God, don’t let us miss it anymore.

I am faulted. I need you.
I feel incapable. Show me.
I am handicapped in so many regards. Reconstruct me.

I want to fly.

I believe.

I believe in God’s power to love me like family. I believe in his power to make a miracle out of my control issues. I believe in his power to banish shame. I believe in his artistic genius to make a gizmo so wild it will soar me right up to – alive.

It will save me, right as I wait on daddy’s toes. And like that boy, I will dance. I will smile, laugh, giggle and wonder – attached to daddy – loaded up with all the gadgets of his goodness.

I will. You will.

Where do you feel broken? Faulted? Injured? Less than?

Know this: Daddy is building a doohicky. Accept it. Put it on. Believe in it. Trust it to work. Smile. Let go. Feel his love. It is the answer.

God, indeed, takes our limitations and makes them into proclamations of his goodness…when we let him.

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5 Personal Vulnerability Points That the Devil Attacks

April 27, 2016

purposefulfaith

attack, Contentment, devil, doubt, faith, fear

7 Comments

I didn’t know where the thought came from. Like an unwelcomed visitor, it showed up unannounced. It just pushed its way in – and sat down. Holy had to leave. It doesn’t do well with things vile, deplorable and downright not from God. Worship left the air too. All eyes were on the house warming gift of worry in the middle of everything; it was tied up with the bow of anxiety. It’s a horrible gift.

In me, what felt like a temple, now felt tainted.

Certainly, I let in a monster that wasn’t supposed to be around, but I wasn’t sure what to do about it. When you let this kind of thought in, they don’t leave – they are rude like that.

So rude, that sometimes they keep you up all night as you try to wrangle them like untamed and bucking broncos. They rise and let you know how tall they are. They contort around you spelling out the word D.O.O.M.

I hate them, usually.

Knowing this, I come to these very important question…

How do I block the random attacks of the enemy that arrive like arrows in the night?

And, are there certain conditions that make me more vulnerable?

I think there are. Paul lets us know that we should be wise to their schemes (2 Cor. 2:11).

If we want to stand firm, we have to keep up our defenses up and our knees down to the ground.

You see, to be aware is to stand active in prayer.

So that your heart does not pursue an enemy affair.

Prayer is our best defense. God is our best offense.

Beyond this, if we know when the devil is prone to attack us, we can raise up our requests and calls for protection during these times. In essence, we can F.I.G.H.T back!

5 Times the Devil Loves To Attack Christ Followers…When they are:

Famished.
If you are hungry for life and not filling up on God, you are prime meat.
If you are hungry for food and are feeling a little off kilter, you are a tasty choice.
If you are head in iPhone, not soaking in the love of God, you are often – toast.
Irritable.
If you are off-footed and nearly falling, even more the devil knows his punch will knock you out.
If you are in a bad mood, he knows you will open the door to his negativity.
Gullible.
If you are open to lies, he will feed them to you.
If you are willing to listen to pride, he will lure you to it.
If you are up for misunderstanding God, he will distort him to you.
Hurt.
If you are discouraged, he will lure you to quick-fixes.
If you are beaten in relationships, he will feed you bad words about the another person.
If you aren’t seeking God, the devil will seek you and make you wonder if God is really good.
Tired.
If your mind is confused, he will confuse it some more.
If your will is weary, he will wear it down to its breaking point.
If people get testy, he will test your limits.

We can’t blame everything on the devil. Nope. That would miss this thing called flesh (Gal. 5:16) that works in its own self-serving way. But, when the devil is at play, the fertile ground described above is primed soil ready for insecticide-ridden hands.

Yet, when left protected and guarded, God grows something new – it is called perseverance and determination.

F.I.G.H.T.!!!

Praise be to the LORD my Rock, who trains my hands for war, my fingers for battle. Psalm 144:1

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When People Are Disgusting

April 20, 2016

purposefulfaith

Contentment, faith, fear, Love & Health, peace

2 Comments

When you have toddlers, you have to make a lot of trips to the bathroom. It’s never too fun either. Public bathrooms ARE ENEMY #1!

So, when I walked in and saw a lady doing what I am about to tell you, my stomach turned. It flipped and flopped and, all I can tell you is, my eyes so badly wanted to squint tight, silently telling her, “What the heck are you doing?”

Lined up on the counter were six triangular shaped pieces of toilet paper in a row. Each one of them had blood drenched tips. In her nose were two wads stuck up tight. She pulled them out – more blood.

This is disgusting! Who does this?

After finally getting dear daughter all set, we pushed out the door and played with the toys right beyond the bathroom door. But, as I sat, God pricked, “Kelly, where is your compassion. What happened to your heart?”

I remembered another woman. She was a bloody woman too. She was so bloody she was legally unclean. She was disgusting, she was deplorable. She was a societal “issue”.

For 12 years she lived like a walking fountain of sickness (Luke 8:43), likely shunned, scorned, and embarrassed. Likely, feeling like she even hated herself. Likely, feeling alone.

Did people even care to know what was wrong with her? Did people hate to see “her issue”?

I am just like them.

Who disgusts you?
What issue do you hate to look at?
What makes you sick?

“And Jesus said, Somebody hath touched me: for I perceive that virtue is gone out of me.” (Luke 8:46)

She simply touched his hem, but did you notice what Jesus gave this woman? What he handed out? I have not heard in other places Jesus mention “virtue” as his healing.

Virtue in greek means dunamis.

Dunamis = power & might

Jesus restores not just what outwardly plagues us,
but restores insecurity and worry
with power and might.

It looks a lot like blood; blood poured out on the cross.

The lowly one healing.
The hated one loving.
The despicable blood moving, transforming, reforming…

To be like Jesus, we might consider doing the same – extending our strength to the unworthy? God’s kindness leads to repentance, after all (Romans 2:4).

Who do you need to offer virtue to?

What if, when you get brushed against disgusting and despicable, you – strengthened the person?

By:
Hugging them.
Loving them.
Telling them God cares.
Showing your heart.
Explaining that you want to see theirs.
Offering compassion with no strings attached.
Letting your heart come to life…

I am not saying it will be easy, because the last thing I wanted to do was approach that lady. But, as she walked out the door, head down, and eyes trying to quickly catch my disdain – it is exactly what I wish I would have done. I only wish, I would have stopped her, talked to her, understood her and, maybe even, prayed for her.

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When You Keep Losing What You Want

April 18, 2016

purposefulfaith

doubt, failure, faith, fear

3 Comments

My dear friend, Christy Underwood, is joining us today. As you will see, her endurance and perseverance is both admirable and touching. I saw it in action as she went through this trial. Today, her story reminds me that even when we feel like the world is hurting us, still, God is always pursuing us.

The nurse came into the room. The test came back negative. My fears were confirmed. I was not pregnant. I had lost the baby. It was difficult but I was thankful that it was early on in the pregnancy and I had minimal physical side effects from the miscarriage.

The doctor told us we should wait a few months before trying again. In the meantime, I went to a women’s conference with our church. A girl at our table told us about a book she was reading called, “Heaven is for Real.” She shared a part where the little boy meets his sister who had died in his mom’s tummy. I excused myself from the table, went to the bathroom, and cried. The Lord spoke to me in those moments. It hit me that the baby we lost is God’s child too, just as I am God’s child. I had focused too much on how I lost MY baby. I was able to see how God loves our/His child the same way He loves me. I realized that God wanted life for His child just like I did. He is the Creator of life. So, why did our child die?

Because we live in an imperfect world.

God could have intervened – but He didn’t.

He chooses not to control our world, because He wants us to have the free will to choose – Him or not.

A few months later, I got pregnant again. I was scared but knew I had to trust the Lord. Our sweet girl is 3 years old now.

After lots of trying – and waiting – to get pregnant again – it happened. Yet, when they did the initial ultrasound, they couldn’t find the heartbeat.

“Take this medication and return in a week.” That’s what the doctor said.

That week was one of the hardest, most anxiety provoking weeks of my life. Nothing had changed. They could see that I had been pregnant, but we lost the baby again. I waited for my body to do what God designed it to, but I was on an emotional rollercoaster. I sought the Lord and He spoke to me. I questioned if God understood my pain, my loss. He said that He indeed understood more than I would ever be able to understand.

He allowed His Son to bear our sin and pay the price, so that we could have a relationship with Him.

“This is how God showed love among us:
He sent His one and only Son into the world
that we might live through Him.” (1 John 4:9)

Time passed, and I got pregnant again. The technician was able to show me the baby and the baby’s heartbeat but the baby was measuring a little smaller than expected. I was hopeful but nervous. I went back a couple weeks later and the baby had barely grown. There was no longer a heartbeat. Again, Lord?

We lost this baby the day before my daughter’s 3rd birthday.

For some, this may have ruined the day. For me, I saw God working. I was thankful to have a brief time of mourning and then found myself rejoicing in the child He had already given us. The Lord was reminding me of all I had to be thankful for. I knew he was going to teach me something. The message I heard this time was, “Praise Me. Focus on who I am.” A song came back to me that I had briefly focused on during my last miscarriage, “Praise You in This Storm,” by Casting Crowns.

Here are some of the lyrics:

I’ll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am

And every tear I’ve cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth

What storm are you trying to survive?

How is God calling you to praise Him in the midst of this storm?

It comes down to a choice. Will we choose Him or not? Let’s keep our eyes on Him no matter what a fallen world sends our way.

We don’t know what the future holds or what God’s plan is for our lives, but I know – I will do my best to trust Him and seek His will above all else.

Will you?

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Christy (left) is a wife, a mother to one sweet girl, and a speech therapist. She’s lived in Southern California her whole life. Kelly and Christy met in their early 20s at a church retreat and have supported each other through all of the crazy transitions life keeps bringing.

Kelly’s must-add words about Christy: Christy inspires me to be a better friend. She asks the real questions, the tough questions and the caring questions. She is honest and fun all at the same time. She is a woman who seeks after God with her whole heart. I thank God that he made matched us together, two friends who “get” each other. I can’t wait for all the years she and I have ahead of us – in this crazy ride called life.

Thank you, Christy, for using your story for God’s glory!

Why “Easy” Will Hurt You

April 15, 2016

purposefulfaith

blessings, Contentment, faith, fear

5 Comments

I remember when I first saw it. It glowed. It seemed to sparkle. It radiated as the sun touched it’s outsides. All I knew is I wanted it; I had to have it.

Nearly fresh out of high school, with only babysitting money to my name, the magnetic pull of this silver convertible seemed to draw me in. Silver on the outside and hot red on the inside, it would make my college days – easy. Or, so I thought.

I signed on the dotted line and then rode off with my hair flying wild down the highway to what I imagined would be wider smiles, lines of friends and feelings of happiness all around me.

It seemed easy. It felt free – for a moment.

But, free is not free, if you feel an object is the real impetus behind who you are destined to be.

I got glances at a light, but no real relationships in my life. I felt separated, dependent and strapped onto ten-year finance charges. What was supposed to drive me to happiness, was driving me into me into a career dragging debt. It didn’t seem so easy anymore.

What “easy” do you seek to quell the hard things in your life?

What easy do you run to in order to “deal”?

Collecting easy may feel free, but it often drives us right into a tin box with wheels called trapped, especially if God hasn’t authorized its purchase. Sure, we can collect things, and feel good in a moment, but here is the real deal: Love doesn’t hold up well on the shelf of shiny untouchables.

Love is meant to be handled, dispersed and outpoured. It is meant to get dirty and grimy. It is intended to bend a knee on the dirt to wash another’s feet. It is meant to pull close to sin and to address it tenderly. It is meant to be in service.

Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet. John 13:14

Love is like Jesus. Love is like a benefactor that can’t stop giving. Love is like the best gift ever – with no price tag.

You can never scan it and bag it and show it off like that.
People aren’t attracted by it’s shine.
They are attracted to its authenticity,
within you and me,
the Spirit making his way – out.

Yet, there is one thing we do have right,
we desperately need it.

Our clawing hunt will continue if we look for it in things,
for things are just illusions that hide our eyes from Him –
God.
Enduring peace.
Everlasting joy.
Encompassing love.

So, let’s keep our eyes fixed there, and, perhaps, we will get somewhere. Perhaps, then, rather than feeling like,“God, why have you abandoned me to this?,” we will feel like, “God, wow, I never knew life could be so full of this.”

Then, we will collect moments of fullness that could only be orchestrated by a God of greatness. We will kneel down and praise him. Our hearts will feel full.

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Don’t Settle for Safe

April 14, 2016

Abby Mcdonald

faith, fear, Regular Contributor

14 Comments

Blog Post by Abby McDonald

“God, take the decision out of my hands.”

I didn’t say the prayer out loud, but I may as well have. For months, I had gone back and forth over a life-altering choice that would change our family forever: whether or not to have another baby.

And every time I thought I’d decided, the endless trail of what-ifs froze me in my tracks. What if we lost the baby? I’d reached the age some doctors consider “high risk”, so what if the baby was born with a birth defect? Of course, I’d have to have another surgery and what if it didn’t go well?

So instead of making a decision, I remained in a state of inertia. The unknowns loomed over me like an unpredictable storm, and I my feet were stationary.

One day in early spring, something shifted. My mama instincts kicked in and I knew the possibility of new life was real. I could taste it. Fear and excitement overwhelmed me in alternating waves, and I spent the morning waiting to buy the test confirming my suspicions were right.

God handed us this gift of life and said, “Here. I know the desires of your heart.”

Sometimes, God knows what we need better than we do.

We try our best to protect our hearts, but he simply wants us to trust Him.

“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.” 1 John 4:18 NIV

He wants to give us good and perfect gifts, but we’re often clenching our fists too tightly to receive them. We move around the spheres of our lives, thinking if we can hold onto the gifts we have we will be happy, but God wants to give us so much more.

We have to keep our hands open to receive what he has for us. And as I watched the colors on the stick change and the clear positive sign appear, it was as though God was saying, “I am for you, child. I am not against you.”

I know there are still a lot of ifs on the road ahead of us. Every morning when I wake up, they try to overtake my thoughts like the steam engine that courses through our town at regular intervals.

But when the darkness of the unknown hits, I repeat this truth over and over: My God is for me. He is not against me. Do you believe he is for you too?

If we live our lives stuck in a state of what if, our what ifs will become could-have-beens. And I don’t want to live my life that way.

I want to live a life fueled by the One who never settled for safe.

As this new spirit continues to grow inside of me, so does the passion to move forward into unchartered waters. It may not always be easy, but heaven knows it will be an adventure.

Will you take his hand and come with me? I’ll see you past the break tide.

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Abby McDonald is a writer who can’t contain the lavish love of a God who relentlessly pursues her, even during her darkest times. When she’s not chasing her two little boys around, she loves hiking, photography, and consuming copious amounts of coffee with friends.

Abby would love to connect with you on her blog, Twitter, and Facebook.

When Jesus Puts You On the Blacklist

April 13, 2016

purposefulfaith

attack, Contentment, faith, fear, forgiveness

2 Comments

She and I? “We’ve known each other practically forever, so, I wondered, “Why is she hurting me so much?”

She stood far, whispering deep thoughts to others. All I knew, was – I was getting the cold shoulder and, clearly, I was now bumped right out of her ring of friends. When she finally did speak to me, hardly two words escaped her mouth. I wasn’t sure what I had done wrong, except for I had been a vocal about sharing different perspectives. I had given words to a different path than her; I guess she didn’t like it.

As Christians, there is a risk to sharing the light of faith. You can get burned.

And, even worse, sometimes afterwards, you leave with the heavy weight you did it:
A. At the wrong time.
B. In the wrong way.
C. With the wrong words.
D. Wrong! Wrong! Wrong!

Often, when the sting of embarrassment sets in,
we more want to run from Christ, than reflect him again.

Ever noticed?

It makes it nearly impossible to be Christ to the least of these,
when we feel like the least of these.

To walk full of love,
when dragging a bag of shame and uncertainty.

To think about caring,
when all you’re doing is caring about yourself.

A mind going bonkers, like this:
“I didn’t show Christ.”
“She hates me.”
“I looked like an imbecile.”
“I should have connected better.”
“I am now the talking point of the game ‘Telephone'”

Doesn’t as easily dwell on thoughts like this:
I sought the Lord, and he answered me and delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to him are radiant, and their faces shall never be ashamed. (Psalm 34:4-5)

It is easy to let what you didn’t do, become the focus of who you are, unless you let the Word of God redefine it…

Romans 8. It did it for me.

It is a stirring chapter; you can apply it to nearly any circumstance where you feel:
1.) Off Track
2.) Self-Consumed
3.) Unclear about how to proceed.
4.) Busted and left for ruin.

Do you feel any of these in your life?

Check it out. Let’s Pray Romans 8:

Thank you God that there is “no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” (Romans 8:1)

There is no erasing that, through Jesus, and the Spirit, I have life and am set free from sin and death. (Romans 8:2) With this, I need not fear what I have done wrong or what I am prone to do wrong. I will fail, but Jesus never can. This is my hope and this is my future. This a change-maker in me and through me.

Lord, help me to live according to the Spirit, not according to the flesh, so that I can have my mind set on what the Spirit desires (Romans 8:5).

Shift my thinking your way.
Shift my attitude your way.
Shift my love your way.
Shift my plans your way.
Shift my heart your way.
Keep my mind stayed on Spirit.

If my mind is on Spirit, and in Spirit, I will naturally shift towards life and peace (Romans 6:8). Keep me there. If I think anything else, besides, life and peace, help me wake up to the idea that I am driven by flesh. I don’t want to be hostile to God or have a mindset which you, God, clearly say cannot please you (Romans 8:7,8).

Help me shift, Lord.

Let me not forget, God, the power that is in me. There is incredible power that I can access and rely on, when only I seek and submit to it, “the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies because of his Spirit.” (Romans 8:11) What is in me, has the ability to make hug the rude.

Thank you Lord, that the those who are led by the Spirit are children of God (Romans 8:14). Through this, I am not a slave, bowing down to fears, but I am a daughter of the most high King. He will take care of me, he will fight for me, he will love me and he will endure for me. I can cry “Abba, Father,” by the Spirit and with full knowledge that I am okay (Romans 8:15).

God, help me endure sufferings, because your promise was not that we wouldn’t hit them, it was just that you would bring us through them (Romans 8:17), and even more, you say those who share in sufferings, share in your glory. Give me your eyes to see this perspective and lead me. Teach me. Help me. May I submit to Spirit. May I pray continually and may I seek to love and lay down my life as Christ has. Amen.